


A Little Lady Called T'Val

by iknewaman



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Academy Era, Alternate Universe, Enemies to Lovers, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, M/M, Slow Build, mentions of Tarsus IV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-08-29 01:35:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 108,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8470555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknewaman/pseuds/iknewaman
Summary: Jim doesn’t usually start fights with strange Vulcans at the tram stop, but sometimes you just gotta.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not nor will I ever own Star Trek.

The tram lurched forward as it started up again, and Jim had to tighten his grip on the pole as not to fall. He was cramped into a corner, which wasn’t an ideal spot, but at least the window was open. There were voices talking somewhere in the front, but everyone else was silent. Some were staring into nothing, some listening to music or on their PADDs. Jim was looking out the window, making sure he knew when his stop was coming up. It wasn’t really necessary, practically everyone got off at his stop as it was a major transportation hub, but he still liked being aware of his whereabouts.

He was kind of having trouble staying focused. His mind kept wandering back to Bones and his situation. 

It had been almost eight months since his and Jocelyn’s divorce, but the man really wasn’t faring that much better than he did the first month. The divorce had been messy, and rough, and completely unexpected if you asked Jim. One moment Bones was heading home every day after class to catch some hours with his family, and the next he was showing up at Jim’s door with a duffel over his shoulder, asking for a place to crash. Jim had no idea what had happened in the middle of that, but after eight months he’d managed to wrangle out a story.

Honestly, it wasn’t Bones’ fault. He had always wanted to be a doctor and help people, albeit in his own impolite way. He and Jocelyn were doing okay financially; Bones was a doctor, and Jocelyn worked part-time as a researcher at a law firm, and they were by all means doing alright. But once Joanna was born, they had been forced to cut down on some expenses and adjust their budget to focus on Joanna first and foremost. Bones didn’t like the idea of not being able to provide for his family, and he knew Jocelyn was feeling the same, so they both had gone about trying to change that. Jocelyn signed up for full-time work at the firm, and Bones decided to get a degree in Xenobiological Medicines at Starfleet in order to find a better paying job in the future.

It wasn’t his fault that his classes and coursework were taking up so much of his time, and it wasn’t his fault that Jocelyn’s hours at the office overlapped with his free time, and it _absolutely_ wasn’t his fault that they often had to get a babysitter in for Joanna (occasionally Jim would offer if he had the time) due to them rarely being home. It really wasn’t. But still Bones blamed himself for the destruction of his marriage.

Living with Bones had been hectic. At the beginning Bones would disappear early in the mornings, and return at night in either a foul mood or a sad mood. He had revealed to Jim a few months later that he had been trying to convince Jocelyn to give them another try, but his efforts were futile. Jim’s roommate wasn’t crazy on having Bones stay with them, but he would just have to deal because Bones was Jim’s best friend in the whole fucking world and that meant he would stand by him through his best and worst times.

Sharing a room was a bit reminiscent of first year when Bones would haul an out-of-his-mind drunk Jim back to dorms, and then just crash there because he was too exhausted (and also drunk) to get back home. So basically the same, but with a little less drinking. A little less. Remembering those times Jim wondered if he had helped ruin Bones’ marriage, but Bones had just hit him over the head and reminded Jim about the number of times he’d pulled through with baby-sitting whenever he and Jocelyn desperately needed someone.

The following weeks were tough for Bones, and after little success in convincing Jocelyn of trying to work things out and much hounding from her legal firm, he signed the divorce papers.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Jocelyn had applied for full custody of Joanna. Jim had been livid. Bones had been crestfallen.

The day Jim found out about it, he had yelled and paced and thrown shit all over his room, tearing down the apartment in his rage.

Seeing his friend, his usually brash and strong-headed friend, look so meek sparked some unknown determination in Jim. The next day he had marched right up to Jocelyn’s apartment with a PADD in hand and brusquely asked her why she had decided to take full custody of Joanna. She’d been confused, of course she had, and even threatened to call the police if Jim didn’t leave. But he _couldn’t _, not until she’d given a reason as to why she would take a daughter away from her father who clearly loved her to pieces.__

__She’d slammed the door in his face, and he’d come back home later that day to a furious Bones spit-balling in his face. They’d had a massive blowout which resulted in fists, but in the end Jim counted himself the winner because he’d managed to elicit an emotion from his friend that wasn’t dejected. The next step would be to direct that intensity at fighting to get joint custody of his daughter._ _

__That step did happen, but it forced Jim to do something he hadn’t wanted to. Bones didn’t have a lot of money, and Jocelyn worked at a law firm. The odds were not in his favour, and neither of them knew anyone who would take on Bones’ case for a small fee. Jim really didn’t want to have to interfere, but circumstances forced his hand, and he had to comm his mother and ask for a loan. Obviously she asked for the reason, and after he explained his situation Winona gladly transferred the money to him along with the name of a reputable lawyer, as well as eliciting a promise that she would get to meet this ‘doctor friend’ next time she was in San Francisco. Talking to his mother always exhausted Jim, draining him of his energy and causing him to remember a past he would rather bury deep down in his subconscious and forget._ _

__Once Jim hung up Bones handed him a ready-made whisky on the rocks, and joined him in throwing back drink after drink. Like Jim said; a little less alcohol this time around._ _

__The lawyer recommended turned out to owe Winona several favours (Jim didn’t even want to know), and accepted Bones’ case. There were about two months of intense waiting, endless meetings, questioning, paperwork, and passive-aggressive niceties between Bones and Jocelyn whenever they dropped Joanna off to spend the week with either one of them. If Jocelyn had had any hope of staying on good terms with Bones after the divorce that had died as soon as she asked for full custody of their daughter. Bones always made sure Jim was never present when Jocelyn was dropping off Joanna, because he didn’t have the money to defend his friend in court if he punched his ex-wife._ _

__The third month brought on the first trial, and thankfully Jim was allowed a front row seat to the whole thing. With each trial his contempt for Jocelyn grew and grew, but it looked as if the lawyer his mom had recommended really knew their stuff, because Jocelyn looked uncomfortable during some of the trials. There was trial, after trial, after trial, and finally, _finally_ , the court reached a verdict, and it was in favour of Bones._ _

__Bones was ecstatic, Jim was overjoyed for him, and Joanna was just confused as to all the celebration which made Jim hate Jocelyn even more for putting the little girl through this. He hated it even more that she was allowed joint custody of Joanna, but Bones told him that if he got Joanna banned from ever seeing her mother she would never forgive him, and Jim couldn’t have that. He loved the little firecracker, and she loved her ‘Uncle Jimmy’._ _

__So Bones miraculously managed to gain joint custody of Joanna, but he was still a divorcee, and still homeless. It had been more than four months since the settlement, and he was still divorced and homeless. He continued to stay in Jim’s room, of course, and had even taken to paying his part of the rent much to Jim’s indignation and his roommate’s pleasure, but he didn’t have a place to call his home. So after four months of Bones trying to get back on his feet, he and Jim had decided to find a room for Bones to rent._ _

__He still hadn’t forgotten the divorce business, and was still sour about it, but he was faring a lot better since the early months. Joanna is the one thing that keeps Bones going, and every weekend he made sure his schedule was completely free so that he could spend it all with his daughter. Jim will usually try and make himself scarce during the weekends, but sometimes Joanna wants him to stay, and who is Bones to deny her bonding time with her Uncle Jimmy?_ _

__Since the court verdict Bones had been questioning if he really wanted to get a degree in Xenobiological Medicines if he only needed to provide for half of his family now. He was thinking of dropping out and returning to his old job since the course was too much work, but he was still on the fence. On one hand, Bones really hated space, but on the other hand he wanted to help people, and Xenobiological doctors were extremely rare and desperately needed on Earth._ _

__Jim absolutely understood why Bones was considering not getting a degree in Xenobiological Medicines, since Starfleet really did set a lot of tasks on their students. The workload was so bad that Jim woke up some days wondering why the hell he ever thought he could manage to cram a four year degree into three. Because he’s a show off, that’s why. It was really running Jim ragged, but unlike Bones he fucking loves space and couldn’t wait to get out there. That was another reason why Jim needed to convince Bones to get his Xenobiological Medicines degree; if Bones didn’t get his degree then he couldn’t go out into space, and that just wouldn’t work because Jim had already decided that in the future Bones was going to be the Chief Medical Officer on his starship. Bones would hate it. Jim would love it. It would be wonderful._ _

__There was a short tune followed by the soft voice of a woman announcing the next stop. It was Jim’s one. He turned towards the door, preparing himself to quickly get off the tram along with the sea of people. The tram came to a slow halt, and there was a hissing sound as the doors slid open. Everyone spilled out, hurrying in different directions as soon as their feet hit the pavement. Jim had just gotten out and was about to follow the flow towards his next gate when he spotted something amidst the crowd._ _

__Everyone was racing past his vision, needing to get somewhere, but he saw a small figure stood unmoving in the rush of the crowd. They were short, and had a head of tight, black curls. Jim couldn’t see much detail, but he could tell they were dark-skinned and very obviously dressed in black robes. They must have been burning in that thing._ _

__The people dispersed, and with only a few stragglers left on the platform Jim can finally see clearly._ _

__It was a child._ _

__Or, he thought it was a child. They didn’t look to be much older than Joanna, and she had just started first grade. They looked to be here alone, no one standing near them. Jim wondered why. He was pretty sure someone so young shouldn’t be out alone. A closer look at the kid revealed tiny, pointed ears that Jim had missed the first time around. Jim’s eyebrows rose._ _

__He couldn’t really tell from this angle, but Jim thought the kid might be Romulan or one of the races similar to it. But they were too dark-skinned to be from Romulus. Though to be fair Jim had only ever seen photos of Romulans and they’d all been light-skinned. Jim wondered what a possibly Romulan child was doing here all alone?_ _

__Jim decided to stay for a bit longer, just to see if anyone would be coming to pick the child up. His Theoretical Physics coursework could wait._ _

__Five minutes passed and the few people on the platform took the next tram that stopped in, leaving only Jim and the kid. The next tram bringing more people would be arriving soon, and Jim didn’t exactly feel like staying there for that one. It was nearing 16:30 which meant that there would be more people taking public transport, everyone having just gotten off work and wanting to get home as quickly as possible. He really did not want to get caught up in that._ _

__Jim took a step closer to the child and called out, “Excuse me!” It did the trick, and the child turned to Jim. “Are you lost?”_ _

__He made sure to stand a respectable distance away when talking to the kid. He didn’t want them to panic if he got too close and let loose with shouts of ‘ _stranger danger_ ’._ _

__“No.” The kid answered. Jim noticed that their eyebrows were slanted, but their forehead wasn’t protruding near the brows. So, not a Romulan then._ _

__“Alright.” Jim shifted to his other foot, but didn’t leave. “What are you doing here alone?”_ _

__“I am awaiting my current legal guardian.”_ _

__Jim looked around the empty platform. “Will they be here soon? I kind of don’t want to leave you all alone here.”_ _

__“It is not required of you to stay.” The kid replied, sounding unperturbed._ _

__Jim highly doubted that. It wasn’t that San Francisco was an inherently dangerous city, it was just that if he did leave and something happened to the kid he’d never be able to forgive himself for not doing anything._ _

__He kept his distance and said, “My name’s Jim Kirk, I’m a student at Starfleet Academy.”_ _

__“I concluded as much from your attire.”_ _

__Right. He was wearing his cadet dress uniform. Man, he couldn’t believe he was being bested by a tiny child._ _

__“Right. Good observation.” Jim coughed. “I’m studying the Command track, doing the accelerated course and trying to finish it in three years.”_ _

__“For a Human that is quite the achievement.” The kid said, turning their entire body around to face Jim._ _

__“Thanks.” Jim said dryly._ _

__“My name is T’Val.”_ _

__“That’s very unique.” Jim smiled. Now he had a name to put to a face._ _

__“On Earth.”_ _

__“Not where you’re from?”_ _

__“It is rare, but not unique.”_ _

__Jim pursed his lips. “Don’t those two kinda mean the same thing?”_ _

__It took the kid— T’Val— a moment before they replied. “No.”_ _

__They fell into silence. Jim looked to the display board and saw that the next tram was due in two minutes. He had still not seen someone come to collect T’Val, and he was torn between staying with them to make sure they were safe or getting home before the rush._ _

__Jim took out his communicator and flipped open to his photo albums. He accessed the album where he kept pictures of Joanna and opened up a holo of her wearing a summer dress from last year._ _

__He held the holo out to T’Val. “This is my friend’s kid; Joanna. She’s a real firecracker.”_ _

__“I do not believe this child is a pyrotechnic.” T’Val retorted, peering at the holo._ _

__Jim quirked a grin. “And you’ve got a real smart mouth.”_ _

__T’Val just looked at him. Jim smiled, and began sifting through the different holos of Joanna at different occasions. He showed the one where she’d fallen over her own shoe and refused to get up, the one of her with her birthday cake and Bones and Jocelyn kissing each of her cheeks, and even the one where Bones was carrying her with a look of utter resignation on his face because Joanna wouldn’t stop crying over not having red hair. He made sure to provide a running commentary for them all, and through every holo Jim showed, T’Val inched closer to get a better look at them, causing Jim to crouch down to their height._ _

__The next tram arrived, and indeed there was a ton of people streaming out and pushing in different directions, desperate to get home. Jim made sure to keep T’Val close to him and not lose them in the crowd. Once the masses had disappeared, he returned to keeping a respectable distance and continued showing them holos._ _

__He brought up one with him and Joanna at the beach, the two of them wearing floaties and grinning widely at the camera. Jim laughed. “This one’s a good one! See, here Joanna and I—”_ _

__“Please remove yourself from the child.” A deep voice said suddenly._ _

__Jim looked up and was greeted with the sight of a tall, imposing Vulcan stood before him._ _

__“Who are you?” Jim asked._ _

__“I am the child’s current legal guardian.” The Vulcan said. That had Jim stopping short._ _

__“You’re T’Val’s parent?!” He exclaimed incredulously, eyes widening in shock. If that was the case, then that would mean that… Jim turned to look at T’Val. Other than the slanted eyebrows and even way of speaking, nothing would have given them away as being Vulcan. Not even their way of speaking, since many non-Terran aliens spoke Standard in an inherently formal manner. Jim would have never guessed._ _

__“I am their current legal guardian.” The Vulcan repeated. He approached the two of them, and Jim quickly stood up and stepped back. The Vulcan came to a stop next to the kid. “T’Val, you must not reveal your name to strangers.”_ _

__Jim frowned. “Hey now…”_ _

__“He is not a stranger. He is Jim Kirk, cadet of Starfleet Academy.” Replied T’Val, straining their neck to look up at the Vulcan._ _

__“Yeah, exactly, and I was just making sure the kid was alright. They were here all alone, and for a really long time too. Where were you?” Jim fired off, annoyed. He’d been a good Samaritan staying with the kid who was all alone at the tram stop, making sure they were safe, and here he was just being brushed off._ _

__The Vulcan turned to look at Jim, his tone cool as he spoke. “Unfortunately I experienced some complications with my transport, and was forced to walk the remainder of the way here.”_ _

__“You could’ve at least commed them or something.” Jim frowned._ _

__“I do not currently possess a communication device.” Explained T’Val._ _

__“Well, you should get one.” Jim reasoned._ _

__“I am in the process of being gifted one.”_ _

__The adult Vulcan faced Jim fully and said, “Cadet, I thank you for overseeing T’Val’s wellbeing during my absence, however I believe it would be prudent for us to leave you now.”_ _

__Before Jim could respond properly with some loud words of indignation, the tall Vulcan walked off, T’Val following close behind. They turned around briefly, raising their tiny hand with their fingers split. Jim’s eyes followed their departure, unsure of what the gesture meant._ _

__Next time he was in his Xenocultural class, Jim asked his professor what it meant and found out it’s the traditional Vulcan greeting._ _

__“The _ta’al_.” She had told him. _ _

__Jim spent time at home trying to perfect it just because he could._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I update every Friday and Monday :)**
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> OKAY So I realise I've been coming out with a lot of fics recently, but the reason for it is because these next few weeks I'll be quite busy with uni and work, so I won't have much time to post. I really, really want to though, and will try to post this on some sort of regular basis. I've already got the story finished and dialogue written, so all that remains is writing the action.
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> As always, hope you guys enjoyed the fic and thank you so much for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

The following week when Jim got off at his stop, he saw T’Val again, walking off with the Vulcan from last time. He saw them again the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that. 

Jim hadn’t thought a lot about his meeting with the two Vulcans, because whenever he did it was usually mixed in with feelings of indignation (at the older Vulcan) and amusement (at T’Val). It was only after being present one time when Bones was vidcalling Joanna, and seeing how fun the little firecracker was having talking to her dad, that Jim started to think more about that occurrence. The more he thought back on it, the more he realised that talking to T’Val had actually been quite fun. They had been interesting, although rather cheeky, and the interaction had made for an interesting story when he told it to Bones, who shook his head at the situations only Jim could get himself into.

On the fifth week since the incident, Jim was let out of class early, and so he managed to catch an earlier tram. It was still filled to the brim with people pressed up all around him, but it was better than catching a later one and suffering worse. He really should look into moving closer to campus, but that would mean he’d need more credits, which meant getting a part-time job, and Jim wasn’t sure he could fit one around his crazy schedule.

He got off at his station, and was just about to follow the throng of people out when he noticed something. T’Val wasn’t there. Jim stopped where he was, ignoring the disgruntled looks from the people who now had to go around him. That was odd. Every time when he had arrived at this station, without fail, he had caught T’Val and the other Vulcan walking off. 

Jim didn’t know why he did it; maybe because he had time on his hands now and was feeling powerful, or maybe because lately he’d been thinking quite a bit about his funny interaction with the Vulcans, but he sat himself down on one of the benches and waited.

With the rush over with, there were about four people left at the station, excluding Jim. He recognised an Andorian and two Humans, but wasn’t sure about the last one. There were so many alien races living on Earth, there were bound to be some minority ones that Jim didn’t recognise. He liked to think he knew quite a few races compared to most Humans, but there was always room for improvement.

Bones definitely knew of more alien races than Jim did, but that was because his course focused on the ‘xeno’ aspect of ‘xenobiology’. Not only could Bones recognise an alien race from their outer appearance alone, but probably also from their insides. That was a crazy skill set to have, and Jim had no idea if that’d ever be useful outside of medicine or crime scene investigations.

The sound of feet softly approaching brought Jim out of his reverie. He turned to see T’Val nearing, gaze locked at the PADD in their hands.

“Hey.” Jim called out. T’Val looked up from their PADD, and Jim grinned. He held up his hand and split his fingers into the _ta’al_.

“Jim Kirk.” T’Val acknowledged, returning the greeting.

“Little Vulcan.” Jim nodded, still grinning.

“My name is T’Val.”

“I know, but I like ‘Little Vulcan’ more. Sounds pretty dignified, don’t you think?” He jested.

“That is up for debate.” They commented, taking a seat next to Jim.

Jim chuckled. “Cheeky.” He watched as T’Val shut down their PADD and placed it into their tiny backpack. “So how’s life treating you?”

T’Val blinked at Jim.

“How are you?” Jim tried.

“I am well, thank you.” At least they were polite. “How are you?”

“I’m good, just a bit tired. Had a lot of lectures today, and there was a crazy amount of notes to type up. My hand is killing me.” T’Val looked at Jim’s hand as he spun his wrist. “Anyway, are you picking up on any Earth lingo?”

“Indeed I am. There is a lot of it.”

“Yeah.” Jim agreed. “Do you understand it all?”

“I must admit they are difficult to comprehend. During my stay here I have come to realise that Standard vernacular is very different from other Earth languages.”

“That’s true.” Jim nodded. “Do you study another language?”

“I currently do not, but I wish to learn Swahili or Andorian. My mother often conversed with me in her native tongue.”

Jim frowned. “Isn’t your mother Vulcan?”

“No, she is Human.” T’Val replied.

Jim laughed. “No way! That’s awesome!” He knocked his hand against T’Val’s shoulder, jostling them a bit. “You’re the best of both worlds, kid!”

Suddenly a voice announced, “Cadet, desist from physically assaulting the child.”

Ah, yes, the Devil himself had arrived.

Jim turned to look at the adult Vulcan, gearing himself up for a defensive strategy. However, before he could argue that he hadn’t assaulted T’Val, the kid beat him to it. 

“Jim Kirk did not physically assault me, Spock. It is a common gesture of camaraderie amongst Humans. I will exhibit an example.” T’Val pushed their little fist against Jim, which did exactly zero damage. Jim had to hold back his laugh by pressing his lips together and smiling.

“I’m sturdier than you thought, huh?”

“I was not exerting any strength.”

“Really now?” He drawled, clearly not believing that.

“Had I done so, you would have felt it.” T’Val argued. Jim raised an eyebrow. He could see a challenge in the kid’s eyes, and didn’t do anything when they reached for him again. This time when T’Val pressed their fist against Jim, he fell back a bit and had to catch himself on the handle of the bench.

“Woah, what the hell!” He exclaimed. He had not been expecting that from such a tiny thing.

“Vulcans possess three times the strength of Humans.” T’Val explained, and even though their face was expressionless Jim swore he could spy a hint of smugness.

“I feel so sorry for whoever pisses you off.” He said, rubbing at his arm. It wasn’t a hard hit, but he wondered if it’d cause bruise. That would be an interesting story to tell. Oh hey, Jim, how’d you get that bruise? Oh, just got beat up by an eight-year old child, you know how it is, man.

“Vulcans do not feel emotions.” The adult Vulcan interjected. Jim had forgotten they were there.

“She can, she’s half-Human after all.” He retorted, nodding at T’Val.

The Vulcan turned to look at T’Val, probably the equivalent of a Human glare going on, but the kid didn’t shrink back at all. Courage of steel, that one.

“We were engaging in conversation.” T’Val said in way of explanation, and Jim couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah, we were just swapping life stories. They’re interesting, this one. Hey, I forgot to ask, where on Earth is your mom from?”

T’Val turned back to him. “My mother is from the island of Japan.”

“No way, you’re half-Japanese?” Jim blurted out, shocked.

“Spock’s mother is from Canada.” Said T’Val, looking to the other Vulcan.

Jim waved a hand at them. “Eh, who cares about Canada.” It took him a second before he realised who they were talking about. He whipped around to look at the older Vulcan. “Wait, you’re half-Human too?” 

The Vulcan stood unmoving, no change in posture or expression. Jim looked between the two of them, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was in the presence of two mixed race beings. As successful breeding between species was still extremely rare, this was like winning the jackpot in genealogy. 

“So you two aren’t related?” Jim wondered aloud.

“That is a preposterous notion. Why would you believe us to be related?” T’Val replied, looking at Jim. He didn’t want to come off as xenophobic, thinking that the only two Vulcans he’d met were related. Now that he thought about it, neither T’Val nor Spock had said they were family, and he vaguely recalled them both saying Spock was T’Val’s legal guardian, which didn’t meant blood relations by any means.

Instead of answering, Jim shrugged and tried avoiding the question by asking Spock, “Is that why you’re taking care of T’Val? I mean, I hope that’s not too forward of a question.”

“It is not offensive.” T’Val said, just as the other Vulcan, Spock, replied, “Your line of questioning is extremely personal.”

The two of them shared a look, no change in their facial expressions or behaviour, but Jim was pretty damn sure they were having an unvoiced spat. 

“So did you switch between living on Earth and Vulcan?” He asked T’Val. The kid broke eye contact with Spock.

“I did not. Up until recently I had resided on Vulcan, but unfortunate circumstances forced me here.” Jim wanted to say T’Val looked a bit sad when relaying the information, but it was probably just him projecting his emotional reaction onto them. He chose not to ask about it even though he was super curious.

“Well you’re going to love it here. We’ve got an extremely heterogeneous population, especially here in the U.S., and the—”

“Cadet, we must depart if T’Val and I wish to make it back home in time for our meditation. It is essential for her mental development.” Spock interrupted.

Jim frowned. He thought it was odd to meditate with a kid, but maybe it was a common interest of theirs. He was about to tell Spock it was quite rude to interrupt someone midsentence when T’Val slid off the bench, and turned to raise their hand in the _ta’al_.

“Until next time, Jim Kirk.” They announced.

“Just call me Jim.” He said, returning the gesture. It didn’t look as good as T’Val’s, but it was passable.

“I prefer Jim Kirk.” Said T’Val, lowering their hand. “It sounds more dignified.” 

Jim’s laughter followed the two Vulcans as they walked off.

*

“T’Val, I wish for you to sever contact with Jim Kirk.” Spock told her over dinner. T’Val often ate a variety of meals from different planets when in school, but at home Spock would cook primarily Vulcan dishes. His palate was that of a typical Vulcan, having developed to withstand only bland flavours, whereas T’Val was still developing and exploring her sense of taste.

“Why?” She asked.

“I find it unsettling that a stranger shows such strong interests in a child.” Spock explained, taking a bite of his Plomeek soup.

“Jim Kirk does not hold any ill will towards me.”

“How do you know?”

T’Val could not think up a reason as to why she knew this. She didn’t know. Not in term of facts, but she knew he was not hostile. They continued to eat in silence, finishing their respective meals within minutes. Once they were done, they rinsed their bowls with water.

“In the future you will desist from contacting him any further.” Spock announced. He was stacking the bowls back into the cupboard. T’Val watched as he finished the task, and began returning the cutlery to its proper drawer.

“Spock, I believe it is time you acquired yourself a bondmate.” She told him suddenly, just as he shut the drawer. Spock looked back at her.

“We are not having this discussion.” He said firmly, and escaped to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I divided the chapters up into smaller chapters, so instead of 16 chapters there will be 29. I did this because writing one long chapter was really difficult for me to find the time for, so instead having several shorter chapters would help me keep up with my releasing schedule.


	3. Chapter 3

It had become a part of his day now, watching T’Val and Spock leave as his tram pulled into the station. They would without doubt always be there, walking off just as the tram came to a stop at 16.00 precisely. In a way, Jim was kind of astounded that Spock and T’Val managed to depart at exactly the same time every single day, though he guessed maybe it was common for Vulcans. They seemed like a rigid bunch, so punctuality wouldn’t be amiss to them.

“ _Next stop_ ,” Began the soft voice over the speakers, and Jim instinctively turned to face the exit, readying himself to press through the crush of people. He stepped off the tram, and was weaving his way through the crowd towards his gate when he was stopped by a voice.

“Cadet Kirk.” Jim looked back. He was sure he’d heard someone call his name. He browsed the heads of the people milling about, and spotted a figure approaching. It was Spock.

“Spock.” He smiled tightly, not very happy to see the guy. Spock came to stop in front of him, causing several people to groan irritably and move around, shooting him glares as they passed. Spock looked around Kirk.

“T’Val is not with you.” He commented.

“Why would she be?” Jim scowled.

Spock didn’t answer straight away, which immediately put Jim’s protective instincts on high alert. “Where is she?”

“I am not certain myself.” Spock admitted.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Jim demanded, starting to get worked up. Spock looked at him strangely.

“That does not concern you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t, you lost your kid!” Jim cried out.

“As T’Val is not with you, you may now depart.” Spock responded stiffly.

“Oh no, buddy. I’m staying _right here_ until you find her.” Jim promised, deliberately keeping eye contact with the Vulcan as he sat himself down on one of the benches.

“T’Val is not your responsibility.” Spock told him.

“Yeah, well she’s yours and you’re not doing a very good job of caring for her. Clearly you need help.” Jim spat, crossing his arms. Spock stood before him, shoulders tense and staring down at Jim. Jim stared right back.

They were locked in a silent battle for about a minute before Spock promptly turned around and walked to the furthest end of the platform. He stopped at the edge and looked out to where the incoming trams would be arriving from. Jim snorted. What an asshole.

The next ten minutes brought more people, filling the station with the sound pattering feet and shoving bodies before it would all dwindle down to just a few stragglers. 

With each minute that passed, Jim’s concern increased, and he couldn’t help but fidget where he was sat. A look back at Spock revealed the Vulcan to be stood just as Jim last saw him; at the edge of the platform and looking out towards the incoming trams. Jim frowned. The man didn’t look very worried that his kid was missing, and it really made Jim’s blood boil.

He hated situations like this. Jim knew he technically had no right to care about a stranger’s child, but he couldn’t help it. His brain would come up with worst case scenarios, things that could have happened to T’Val on her way to the station, things that had never, ever happened in San Francisco, but had happened on Tarsus IV. Any time a child went missing his mind would immediately bring back flashes of that time, and Jim would feel his muscles tense and his breathing come in short. 

He needed to constantly remind himself that he was on Earth, not Tarsus IV. He was safe here. He was safe and didn’t have to keep looking over his shoulder every second, didn’t have to worry about making sure no one in his group was missing, didn’t have to sit with bated breath and listen out for soldiers roaming about, check the streets for bodies to bury, food to give the younger kids, or weapons they could use on themselves. He didn’t have to do that anymore.

But still. Every time he heard on the news that a child had gone missing, he would turn back into his fourteen year old self and irrationally blame himself for not protecting them. He should have protected them.

Jim was brought out of his trance when someone rushed past him. He looked to the figure that just passed, and saw it was Spock. Jim sat up. He was walking hurriedly towards something, and it… it was T’Val!

Jim jumped up off the bench, grabbing his bag and running after Spock.

“T’Val!” He yelled, coming to a stop before her. Spock stood next to him, also looking down at the kid. They didn’t look to be hurt. No bruises, no blood, scratches, or anything else that could have indicated she had been injured. Jim felt his shoulders sag with relief. She was safe.

“T’Val, why are you late?” Spock asked evenly.

T’Val looked up, her deep, black eyes catching Spock’s brown ones. “Two classmates of mine wished to introduce me to the new pet of class 6D. It is a gerbil which the class have voted to name ‘Stripes’. The teacher present allowed my classmates and I to pet the creature. It was… enjoyable, and I understand this is a common pastime for Humans.”

Jim sighed. He had worked himself up into a state over nothing. “You should’ve told Spock. He was worried about you.”

“I was not worried.” Spock argued. Jim levelled him with a look.

“Seriously?” He asked tersely. Jim didn’t usually have the urge to start up fistfights with people (anymore), but Spock was really pushing it.

“Worry not, Spock. I am well.” T’Val assured them, but it didn’t really ease their minds.

“In future instances, you must inform me of your delay.” Spock told her.

“Understood.”

Something about the cool, detached way Spock was handling the situation really rubbed Jim the wrong way. He was treating this as if it was a business conference or something, not his kid having been late and causing him to wonder where they’d gone off to. 

Instead of getting even prissier, Jim tried burying the feeling, and asked T’Val, “Managed to finally get a communicator then?”

T’Val reached into her backpack and hefted out a communicator. Jim leaned down to look at it. He didn’t know why, it was a standard communicator, he had the same one, but somehow it looked much larger in T’Val’s small hands. 

“That’s nice. You should decorate it some.” He said, straightening back up.

“What do you mean?” T’Val asked, placing the unit back into her bag.

Jim fished his own communicator out of his trouser pocket. He held it out to T’Val, showcasing the stickers he’d plastered all over it. Bones always made fun of his comm whenever he used it, but Jim liked it. It was gaudy, but it was his. T’Val peered at the communicator as if solving a very difficult puzzle.

“What is the meaning of this?” She asked, taking the comm into her little hands.

Jim chuckled. “The meaning of it? There’s no meaning to it. It’s just pretty. ‘Aesthetically pleasing’ if you may.” T’Val kept peering at the device, looking for all the world as if she was trying to understand it, but it was a losing battle. 

“Besides,” Jim shrugged. “It helps differentiate it from other phones. This way if I lose it I know which one is mine.”

Suddenly T’Val’s eyes returned to normal, and she nodded once. “Acceptable.”

“Thanks.” Jim said dryly.

T’Val turned to Spock. “Spock, I wish to decorate my communicator in case it gets stolen.”

“Who would steal from a child?” Jim asked incredulously, just as Spock replied, “That is logical reasoning.”

Jim clenched his jaw and whirled on Spock, anger evident in his eyes. “Look,” He ground out. “I know San Francisco has some crime, but it’s not so dangerous that someone would steal a communicator from a kid.”

“Humans behave in most unusual and irrational ways. My apprehension is not entirely unfounded.” Spock returned, looking completely unperturbed.

“That’s rich coming from someone who’s half-Human.” Jim shot back. Spock stiffened momentarily.

“As I was raised on Vulcan and my physiology is primarily Vulcan, your statement is untrue.” He stated calmly.

“Doesn’t change the fact you still got some Human in you, whether you like it or not.” Jim retorted smugly.

Jim thought he saw Spock tense slightly at that, but his voice was as detached as ever. “My opinion on my mixed race heritage is of no concern to you.”

“Spock, I wish to leave for home.” They both turned to look at T’Val, who stood innocently waiting. Jim felt a spike of guilt over having shown such ugly colours in front of her.

“Very well.” Spock agreed. T’Val walked up to Jim and held out his communicator. He’d forgotten she had it. 

Jim accepted it with a tired smile. “Thanks.”

“You are welcome.” T’Val said, stepping back. Spock didn’t even spare Jim a parting glance, and briskly walked past him. T’Val wandered after, and Jim watched as the two of them left.

“You’re damn good at walking away, aren’t you?” He muttered to himself, inwardly making fun of the back of Spock’s stupid head.

*

Jim was slouched on the couch, going through the maths problems in his Physics textbook when his communicator started beeping. He absently reached for it, not wanting to tear his eyes away from the equation at hand. Jim quickly wrote down a formula he would try out, then looked to his communicator. An unknown number flashed across the screen. Jim furrowed his eyebrows. He gingerly pressed 'accept' and brought the device to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Jim Kirk.”

“Yeah… who is this?” He asked cautiously.

“We met not five hours ago.” Said a tiny voice.

Jim’s eyebrows rose. “T’Val? How’d you get my number?”

“I extracted it when you and Spock were speaking.” Jim snorted. Speaking. _Sure_. “I also inputted my information into your communicator.”

“Wait, what?” Jim asked, sitting up. “Why?”

“You are an adult Human.”

“…Yeah?”

“As I am to live on Earth for an indefinite amount of time, I wish to learn more about Human culture. My classmates are young, and therefore do not know enough about Human culture or give precise arguments as to why Humans do what they do. On the few occasions I have conversed with you, you have showcased considerable knowledge in regards to Human culture, patience with myself, and an ability to explain things to me in an understandable manner.”

Jim rubbed a hand down his face. It was late, he was tired, and he still needed to finish going through the problems in his Physics book. “You want me to teach you about Human culture?”

“Affirmative.”

“Look, T’Val, why don’t you just go out and experience it? Figuring out Human culture is honestly easiest when you take a hands on approach.”

“It is… trying.” She admitted.

“Don’t you have anyone else to ask? What about Spock?” Jim asked, thinking Spock was a terrible choice, but he didn’t know anyone else who both he and T’Val knew.

“Much like myself, Spock grew up on Vulcan, and as such does not have a fundamental understanding of the ways of Humans.”

“T’Val, I kind of have my hands full as it is. There’s a lot of coursework I need to do myself, and cramming in lessons for you would be—”

“I will help you with your coursework.” T’Val interjected.

“I’m sorry, what?“ Jim asked, sure he had heard wrong.

“I will help you with your coursework.” Nope, he had not heard wrong.

“I. I don’t think that’s possible.” Jim hedged. “I actually think it’s illegal.”

“I will not complete your coursework for you, only offer you aid. As you know Vulcan has a large collection of scientific archives as we strive to further our knowledge in the sciences.”

“Uh-huh.” Jim said uncertainly, not quite sure where she was going with this.

“Any non-Vulcans are prohibited from accessing the information, and as it is all written in Vulcan it is indiscernible for most who seek its knowledge. I myself am fluent in Vulcan, and could procure the studies you find relevant to your coursework.”

“And how would you do that?” Jim drawled, suspicious.

“All Vulcans above the age of five are granted access to the archives.”

“They let _kids_ get into the archives?” He said incredulously.

“Jim, we are not like the children you know on Earth. From the age of three we begin the taught route at our educational institution, and are continuously learning until the day we die.”

“That doesn’t sound too great, T’Val, just gotta say.”

“It is quite alright. Am I to take it that you will accept the role as my tutor?”

Jim sighed. “I… I kind of really don’t want to do this. No offense to you,” He amended quickly, not wanting the kid to think he hated her or something. “It’s just… Spock. I can’t deal with that guy.”

“I understand you and Spock have irrefutable differences—” Again, Jim snorted. This kid sure was good at veiling the truth. “However I am not calling in regards to Spock, but myself.”

“I don’t know, T’Val…” Jim said uncertainly.

“Usually I would inquire about these things of my mother, however, she is no longer with me.” Her voice sounded so small, and it pulled at Jim’s heart strings.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He said softly. “I’ll help you. I really will, but only if you get permission from Spock first.” He said firmly. This he was adamant about. Jim didn’t want to meet a gruesome end at the hands of a protective Vulcan.

“I will inquire of Spock as to whether you would be a suitable candidate for teaching me about Earth customs.” T’Val agreed.

“Cool.” Jim said, already thinking up ways in which he could control his temper around Spock. This was not going to go well. ”Though I gotta warn you, I can only teach you about American culture. I only know about others second-hand.” Jim warned her.

“That will suffice for my first area of exploration.”

“Awesome.”

“Until next time, Jim Kirk.” 

Jim quirked a smile. “Later, Little Vulcan Lady.” 

Jim hung up his comm. Yeah, he totally made terrible life decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this a day early because I'll be busy tomorrow. Hope you enjoy! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Since T’Val had begun living with Spock, she had closely observed his behaviour and habits so that she could conduct herself in a manner fitting that of a guest. She did not wish to impose on her host, and so she sought to behave with utmost decorum. 

T’Val knew when Spock needed time to grade his papers, and so she would retreat to her room as she had noticed Spock finished his work quicker when he was alone. She knew how highly he valued his meditation, having set up fixed hours where he would partake in the activity, and so she would conduct her meditation hours at the same time to help him focus. She had also ascertained certain periods where he was more susceptible to suggestions than others. Such times included right after a video transmission with Spock’s parents, more so with his mother than his father, or when cooking. 

T’Val was fortunate enough to have caught Spock after both. He had recently concluded a video transmission with his mother where she had gifted Spock with a recipe, and he was currently proceeding to recreate it.

T’Val slid into one of the chairs at the table. There had always been two chairs present even though Spock lived alone, but now that T’Val was staying with him they had chosen their respective seats.

“Spock.” She greeted.

“T’Val.” Spock returned, not taking his gaze off the task at hand. He was delicately peeling the skin of a mango, holding the knife expertly between his thumb and the fruit. T’Val took a moment to admire Spock’s delicacy when it came to the culinary arts.

“You are aware I find great fascination with Earth and its culture.” She began, ready to embark upon the speech she had prepared. 

Up until this point, T’Val had remained compliant in what Spock chose to do, ensuring she did not take up much space in his home. This moment would mark her first rebellious act. She felt slightly apprehensive about it, but reminded herself that if the need in the end justified the disapproval at the start, then it was appropriate to proceed with her cause.

“I am aware.”

“However, I do not think my current exposure to Human culture is sufficient enough. The sample sizes are too small and limited, and they are all from middle-class backgrounds as well as the same age group.”

Spock had ceased his peeling and looked back at T’Val. “Do you find your current educational institution unsatisfactory?”

“It is satisfactory.”

“Then I do not understand where there is an issue.”

“Spock, I wish to experience a wider breadth of Human culture.” She clarified.

“In what manner of speaking?”

“I wish to be tutored in Human culture.”

“For what purposes?”

“My own pursuit of knowledge.”

Spock looked as if he were considering the suggestion. “I believe that can be arranged.” He agreed slowly, then returned to the mango.

Now the time had come for T’Val to strike. “I wish to be tutored by Jim Kirk.”

Spock immediately whirled on her. “You will not.” He said sternly.

“There are many reasons as to why Jim Kirk would be the ideal choice as my tutor.” T’Val continued, as if she had not heard him.

Spock turned his back on her, and began slicing the fruit into cubes. T’Val slid out of her chair and walked up to Spock’s side. She would not be ignored.

“I have prepared a list as to why.” She began, straining to look up at Spock’s profile. “First off, Jim Kirk possesses great knowledge about Human culture as he not only is one, but has grown up with it, unlike you and I. Secondly, he is a student at Starfleet Academy which means he is surrounded by beings not native to Earth, and has some understanding of alien cultures. He is also doing an accelerated course, similar to what you did when at the institution, which means you cannot deny he is extremely intelligent and ambitious.”

Spock deliberately remained silent, reaching for a bowl to put the mango cubes into. T’Val had to step back as to not get in his way.

“Thirdly, from the few times I have interacted with Jim Kirk, he has explained things regarding Human culture and behaviour in a manner that is understandable to me, and did not display any biases while doing so. He has shown respect for both my Vulcan heritage and my Human heritage, and nothing but interest and intrigue in my culture.”

Spock continued to stay quiet, and was now focussing on making a sauce in a small mixing bowl. T’Val was not deterred by his uncooperativeness.

“The fourth reason as to why Jim Kirk would make the ideal choice for my tutor is that he is protective, a fact you know and have seen in play, and has proven to be trusted.”

“He has not.” Spock interrupted.

“He has indeed. When you informed him I was not with you during our third encounter, he showed obvious concern and distress, even having stayed with you at the tram station to ensure I returned safely to you.”

“He did it in order to invoke a feeling of aggravation in me.”

“We will agree to disagree on point four,” T’Val said, ploughing on. “My final reason as to why Jim Kirk would be ideal as my tutor is that I like him.”

Spock stopped and stared down at her.

“I find him… fascinating.” She said in way of explanation.

“I do not like him.” Spock countered.

“This is not about you, Spock.” T’Val clarified, remembering how she had to remind Jim Kirk the same thing. They both seemed to think that their involvement in T’Val’s education was about themselves, not her. “If you can give me proper reason as to why Jim Kirk is an undesirable candidate I will consider someone else.”

It was evident Spock could not supply her with an answer, as he remained speechless.

“Jim has stated that he will not undertake the tutoring unless I had secured your approval.” She stated.

One of Spock’s eyebrows rose. “How did you elicit such a promise from him?“

“When you and Jim conversed at the tram station last week, I extracted his number from his communicator, allowing me to call him later that day. I wanted to ensure he was amenable to tutoring me before I thought to ask you.” She revealed.

“T’Val, I am highly displeased with your conduct.” T’Val felt a flush of shame come over her, but once more, she had to remind herself that this was a consequence of achieving her wish. She would have to persevere no matter her feeling of inconvenience.

“I am aware, Spock, and will accept my due punishment in whichever manner you choose to deliver it. But first, please answer with valid reasons as to why you believe Jim Kirk should not be my tutor.”

Spock stood unmoving, nothing giving away his thought process. However, his silence indicated to T’Val that he was still unsure about the idea. 

”If it eases your mind, I promise the lessons will only ever be held at this very residence, and you must at all times be present to oversee the teaching methods.” She promised.

It took a moment before Spock slowly replied. “I will agree to a trial run.”

“One trial run will not provide enough data to help extrapolate whether Jim Kirk’s teaching methods are sufficient.” T’Val justified. “I propose three trial runs. However, if the first lesson turns out to be disastrous, then you may cancel the remaining two.”

“I agree to your terms.” The mixing bowl lay abandoned before him. It was not the focus of his attention for the time being. 

Spock felt dubious about the agreement he and T’Val had come to. He felt it had been more a battle of will than anything else, and not only had he lost that, but he felt he had lost a sliver of his dignity too. He was certainly proud of T’Val for displaying such excellent skills in persuasion, but it had resulted in him allowing Jim Kirk access to his home. He was not pleased with the outcome.

“The scent of your food is most pleasing. What is it?” T’Val asked suddenly, as a means of changing the subject. 

Spock was not fooled.

*

Since Jim hadn’t heard anything from T’Val in over a week, he’d counted his lucky stars and proceeded to leave the whole tutoring thing behind him. 

Except he couldn’t.

There was this niggling doubt at the back of his mind, telling him that unless he’d heard back from T’Val with either a definite ‘ _yes_ ’ or ‘ _no_ ’, the issue was still up in the air. He hated that he feeling, and it actually really affected him. Whenever he got a message on his comm, he would feel a flash of trepidation before checking it and seeing that it was someone else. A child shouldn’t be able to have that kind of control over Jim, but there you had it.

On some level, he was glad that the thought had never left him, because it meant he wasn’t surprised when it finally did happen. 

It was during one of his tutorials that Jim received a comm message, causing him to jerk slightly. He surreptitiously brought the device out under his desk, half-paying attention to the tutor, half-peeking down at his communicator. He saw T’Val’s name on the screen. That feeling of trepidation increased into a wave, and when he swiped to open the message, that wave crashed into him fully.

_[From: T’Val]  
Dear Jim Kirk,_

_I have conversed with Spock regarding you tutoring me in Human culture, and he has accepted to a set of terms._

_1) You will be allowed three trial runs for him to discern whether your teaching methods are acceptable or not._  
2) If at any time before these three trial runs are up he deems something extremely dissatisfactory or detrimental to my education, he will terminate the remaining trial runs.  
3) He must be present at all of the trial lessons, and if we continue with them, any future lessons. 

_As promised, I have secured Spock’s approval, and so now we may begin our tutoring. Spock and I would be free to commence the first lesson Tuesday of next week. Would your schedule allow you to start then?_

_Sincerely,  
T’Val_

Jim closed his eyes and exhaled deeply through his nose. 

There it was. 

Consent.

The voice of the tutor dragged Jim out of his own internal pity party. His gaze trailed after them as they explained something on the board regarding the exams in January, but nothing was sticking.

Jim’s lips thinned. He was really doing this now. He was going to tutor a Vulcan child on Human customs. _He was_. Man, how on _Earth_ did he manage to get himself into these kind of situations?

Not wanting to dwell on it for longer Jim bit the bullet and messaged T’Val back.

_[To: T’Val]  
Next Tuesday would be great :)_


	5. Chapter 5

Jim stood outside the building, shifting from one foot to the other. He hadn’t worked up the courage to go in yet.

This was the address T’Val had messaged him, along with directions on how to get there from the tram station. It wasn’t far from where Jim lived, only twenty-five minutes away, but he did have to make a change at the tram station downtown. The building looked nondescript, nothing setting it apart from any of the other structures around it. The only difference was that this one had a different number plate.

Jim sighed, and approached the entrance. He came up to the glass cased list of numbers and names of the residents, and browsed until he found Spock’s. It took him a while because as it turned out, that wasn’t his first name. No, that was something that Jim didn’t even feel comfortable thinking about how to pronounce. It did look kind of familiar, though. He buzzed the button next to the name tag, and then waited.

A crackled voice came through the intercom. “Jim.”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Jim replied, dreading what awaited him.

There was a buzz, and he instinctively reached for the door handle. It opened easily enough, and he spared one last glance at the street behind him before entering. The inside of the building was just as bland as its exterior, and one elevator ride up later revealed that the entire place was built that way. The walls didn’t even have any colour, they were just an off shade of white. It was slightly unsettling.

Jim came to a stop outside Spock’s door. Faced with the reality of what he was about to do, he took a moment to collect himself before jumping into the fire. He reached up and knocked on the door, then stepped back to wait.

Not even ten seconds later the door was pulled open to reveal Spock in the doorway, looking as stoic as ever. The way he held his head high made him seem more intimidating than the previous times Jim had met him, but Jim had a history of guys trying to intimidate him, so he just raised his chin in challenge. Spock evidently didn’t seem to understand the gesture, because he just walked back into the apartment, leaving the door open. Jim took that as a sign he was allowed entrance, and so he stepped inside.

Taking a quick gander around the hallway he was currently in, Jim was glad to notice that the apartment at least had some more personality to it than the building it was in. He saw a plant by the door next to a shoe rack, and spotted several frames of what he presumed to be art lining the wall. There was even a little brown welcome mat. No ‘welcome’ printed across it, but still, it was something.

“Please remove your shoes.” Came Spock’s voice from further inside. Jim rolled his eyes, but toed off his shoes and placed them on the shoe rack. Pattering down the hallway, Jim came to an open living room. 

It was evident someone lived here, and to be honest it looked pretty relaxing. The place was clean, of course it was, and there was a long carpet on the floor. On it was a coffee table with a bowl of fruit, as well as plates stacked in the centre and a glass holding cutlery. There was one large couch, and Jim counted three shelves lining the walls with strange figurines and, hey, actual books on them.

Spock stepped out of one of the rooms. ”T’Val will be out momentarily. Please sit.” He said, gesturing at the couch. Jim did so, not really wanting to talk to Spock. The couch was insanely comfortable, and he found himself leaning back into it.

Spock apparently had nothing better to do, because he remained where he was, just staring at Jim. It was pretty damn unnerving, but Jim made sure to look as if he were bored, keeping his gaze on the ceiling.

After a few moments of deliberate and intense silence, T’Val walked out of one of the rooms. She was dressed in harem pants and a long-sleeved jumper, dark colours as usual. 

“Hey, Little Vulcan Lady.” He greeted, grinning.

“Jim Kirk.” T’Val returned, which made him grin even wider.

She came to a stop before him, wedged in between the coffee table and Jim’s legs. Oddly enough she took care not to touch him.

Silence stretched between the two of them, and Jim felt his grin drop slowly. T’Val kept staring at him, not saying a word. Jim couldn’t help but feel awkward in this situation. The atmosphere was pretty stifling, and the quiet seemed immense in a room of three people. He could feel Spock’s eyes boring into the back of his head, and that especially wasn’t helping him in any way.

“So how do you want to go about this?” He asked finally, breaking the silence.

“We will follow the plan you have devised for today’s lesson.” T’Val answered easily.

“Right.” Jim didn’t have a plan. He never had a plan. He always went in guns blazing and hoped for the best. That was his plan. “Right.” He repeated again.

“You must remember, if this first lesson is unsatisfactory, Spock has every right to cancel the following two.” T’Val reminded Jim, glancing behind him. 

He totally hadn’t forgotten Spock was there. Despite the man not saying a word, his very presence took up space in the room, and Jim was very much aware that his every word and move was being observed. It was going to be really fucking difficult to get used to that.

“Okay.” Jim said slowly. He wasn’t sure if that was meant to encourage or discourage him. A glance over his shoulder revealed that Spock had moved to the corner, just standing and watching Jim closely. It was creepy as hell. If he were a Human and they were in public Jim would have immediately called the police and gotten a restraining order against Spock; that’s how uncomfortable he felt.

Jim cleared his throat. “Well, I was thinking you ask me any questions you want the answer to right now, and from there I can figure out what area you would be most interested in.” Best to jump right into it, he reasoned.

T’Val nodded. “That sounds acceptable. Why do Humans display aggressive mating rituals in public?”

Jim’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry?”

“I have on several occasions seen Humans exchange violent kisses when in public,” She held up her tiny hands, and slowly brought them together, making sure not to have them touch. “Like so.”

“Are you talking about clapping?” Jim asked, confused.

“Negative. This act is often engaged with what appears to be acquaintances.”

It took Jim a few moments of intensive thinking before it finally hit him. “Oh! You mean high-fiving!”

“What is that?”

“It’s when you like…” Jim held his hands up in front of his face, and slapped them together, creating a loud ‘ _clap_ ’ noise. “Like that.”

T’Val’s eyes brightened. “That is the act I was speaking of. What does it mean?”

Jim shook his head. With the way she had phrased the question his mind had gone to a very different scenario.

“It’s a form of greeting.” He explained.

“A handshake is the greeting used on Earth, is it not?”

“One of them. We have several, and they’re often very physical, like handshakes, high-fiving, or hugs. Do you know about hugs?”

“My mother would often administer them to me.”

Jim couldn’t help but smile wryly. “Alright, don’t make it sound like an injection. They’re nice.”

“I agree, if administered by the correct person.”

Spock’s deep voice floated from behind them. “They are taboo, T’Val.”

“On Vulcan, maybe.” Jim pointed out airily, turning his head to look at the guy. So he’d kind of surmised that Vulcans had something against physical contact. He was going to have to read up on that.

“For Vulcans everywhere.”

“Whatever.” Jim grumbled under his breath, turning back to T’Val. “So Vulcans have something against hugs, but Humans love it. The physical aspect of it is really appealing since you get to feel the warmth of another person.”

“Fascinating.” She really did look enthralled, albeit in a controlled way.

“Alright, what else you got?” Jim prompted, feeling like he was getting the hang of this.

Again, Spock’s voice interrupted. “T’Val, you should inquire about things that will be useful for you in the future.”

“How about you let her ask the questions, okay? This is her lesson, after all.” Jim ground out, not deigning to look at Spock this time around.

“It could be utilised more appropriately.”

Jim was getting pretty annoyed at Spock, and so he chose to ignore him. “Go on, T’Val, what else do you want to know?”

T’Val looked to be considering something, then asked, “Why do Humans display feelings of aggression when encountered with an infantile animal?”

Jim snickered. “It’s because Humans are weird.”

“That is an unsatisfactory answer, Cadet.” Came Spock’s voice once more.

Jim whipped around. “Did you seriously just ‘cadet’ me?” He couldn’t possibly have done that, because that would have been a totally dickish thing to do. “We’re not at the academy, so _do not_ call me that. That’s so uncalled for.” 

Jim turned back to T’Val again, trying to regain control of his irritation. “There’s actually a scientific explanation for our behaviour, and it’s called ‘ _cute aggression_ ’. See, when we see pictures of cute animals, we get frustrated because we can’t physically touch them, and that aggression builds up inside of us and we display it in a sort of aggressive way.”

It was odd, but it was what it was.

T’Val looked as riveted as Jim had ever seen her. “That is curious.”

“That is preposterous.”

Jim whirled around to face Spock. “I’m sorry, would you like to run the lesson?” He bit out tersely, jaw clenched. 

“I do not. I am merely pointing out that your explanation lacks proper references. It is a most unconventional form of teaching.” Spock responded coolly. It grated on Jim’s fucking nerves.

“Humans are unconventional, so when in Rome, do like the Romans.” He retorted, turning back to T’Val in a huff.

“What does that mean?” She asked.

Finally something he knew.

“It’s a common Human phrase. It’s often used when visiting other countries, and means that when you are in that country, you should behave as the native population there does.” Jim explained.

“Why does it reference Romans?”

“Because in ancient times the Romans behaved differently from others.” He said confidently, not having a clue if he was right or not.

T’Val looked as if she were contemplating his answer. “Fascinating.”

Jim had a sudden thought. “You know, what. I think Spock is right. This lesson isn’t going very well.” Jim saw Spock raise a brow, and he signed that down as indicating surprise. He smiled at T’Val. “Remember how I told you that learning about Human culture is best by experiencing it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, let’s do just that.” Jim got off the couch and went to grab his shoes. “Come on, T’Val, Spock. Let’s go for a little walk.” He grinned.

*

So, Jim was a genius, but he often didn’t get to flaunt it outside of his classes. This time however, he really thought he let his brilliance shine through. He had come up with the idea of using the outside, that is to say public spaces, as a playground for T’Val to explore. Anything she saw that perplexed her or made her wonder about Human behaviour, she could ask Jim about and he would (try to) answer. 

It was a fantastic idea, since it would eliminate her wondering about things Humans did on a regular basis when out in public, and help her better understand their culture and behaviour. By tackling the most common confusing aspects of Humans, and the ones she’d see the most when out and about, it would allow Jim to narrow down on more specific subjects at later lessons. It was also easier to handle Spock’s stifling presence when they were just taking a brisk walk around the neighbourhood.

Jim realised that T’Val already knew some things that Humans did, she just didn’t know the reason behind it. He decided to try and use this time to gauge how much of Human behaviour she was familiar with.

Jim pointed to a woman kneeling on the ground, holding out a hand full of breadcrumbs to a pigeon a few meters away. “Know what’s going on there?”

T’Val looked to where he was pointing. “Negative.”

“Can you guess just from looking?” Jim prompted.

T’Val stopped, and took in the image before them. Spock too halted, and together all three of them stared at the woman as she tried to slide closer to the unsuspecting pigeon.

“From what I can see, I extrapolate that the woman wishes to have the pigeon eat out of her hand.” T’Val commented.

Jim grinned. “Well done, you’re absolutely correct. Some things aren’t so weird if you just look.” 

“I still do not understand why she wishes for the pigeon to eat out of her hand.”

“There could be loads of reason for that, to be honest.” Jim shrugged. “She could just want to know what it’s like having a pigeon eat out of her hand, so that’d be for curiosity’s sake. She could want to tell her friends about it, so that’s boasting. Uhh… she could just want to feed a pigeon because she likes doing it. So just… likes it, I suppose.”

“There is no logical reason for her actions?”

“Exactly! That’s also a good rule to apply to most Humans; there’s usually not a logical reason to our actions.”

T’Val looked up at Jim. “Your species is… difficult to understand.”

“I’d say you’ve got a good grasp of some things already.”

“It is because my brain is still developing, and so I am susceptible to learning new things and ideas.”

“Our brains are always developing, they just slow down considerably as we age. Is it the same for Vulcans?”

“Studies have shown that Vulcans are constantly assimilating information, however, we will always reach a point where he have learned all the immediate information surrounding us, and due to that the process of absorbing further information slows.”

Jim nodded thoughtfully. That was quite interesting, and pretty similar to Humans actually. It was true that once you learned about everything surrounding you and that you were quite interested in, it would be damn near difficult to willingly pick up on new stuff. Jim wondered how much Humans and Vulcans differed in that aspect. Would they stick to honing the knowledge they already had, or try to seek more facts?

Spock had remained silent throughout the whole exchange, just listening to Jim speak and his explanations. He’d not said a word since they left the apartment actually, and Jim wondered why that was. Maybe he didn’t want to make his snide comments in public where people could hear him, it’d really make him look bad. Jim shook his head. Nah, the guy wouldn’t care if he looked bad— from what Jim had seen so far, if Spock had a comment to make he would damn well make it.

“So what do you think, Spock?” Jim asked him. 

Spock looked to Jim, who gestured vaguely around his general area. 

“About this approach to learning about Humans.” He clarified, attempting a small smile. “What do you think?” 

Personally Jim thought he wasn’t doing too shabby for his first lesson, one that he hadn’t even prepared for. Spock had to see how interested T’Val was in this hands on approach of learning, and that was the whole point of this tutoring thing, wasn’t it? To help T’Val learn more about Humans and their ‘curious ways’.

Spock turned back to looking ahead. “Your teaching method is extremely unorthodox.”

Jim sighed. He didn’t know what he’d expected. “Man, you are never happy, are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I saw a live rendition of RENT in my city last night and I was PUMPED! Managed to finish a few chapters so be assured you'll get those in time :)
> 
> Also 'cute aggression' is a real thing, can you believe it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQKSAvjdjn8


	6. Chapter 6

Jim had no idea what little kids liked, especially not Vulcan kids, but he did know what Joanna liked and so he used her as his point of reference. 

He got a bunch of nail polish Joanna had left behind in their apartment, all of them the colours of the rainbow and then some. He then visited several second-hand shops until he found a box of building blocks, and bought that along with a pair of pink boxing gloves he’d spotted on one of the shelves. He didn’t know if T’Val would like them, but they were five credits so they were coming with him. Jim also grabbed the box of toys Bones hid under his bed for whenever Joanna visited, which was filled with plastic toys, colouring books and pencils, and then headed over to Spock’s.

Hauling everything over to his apartment had been a bitch, and he’d received more than his fair share of odd looks as he walked down the streets. Maybe he should’ve looked into getting a hovercab or a canvas bag, but it hadn’t really registered in Jim’s mind when he was in a rush to get it all over to T’Val. Besides, he took the tram for most of the journey, which meant he could just keep it on the ground near his seat. 

Despite the first lesson being a flop in that Jim had prepared literally fuck all for it, he was taking this second lesson more seriously. He had been extremely wary of the first lesson with T’Val, thinking it was going to be so, so awkward (which it was sometimes), but it had turned out to be quite fun. Jim had forgotten how inquisitive kids were, and a Vulcan child was that plus also asked way many more questions than a normal person would be comfortable with. Even though he hadn’t had all the answers for her, it was interesting to see what a child— and an outworlder at that— thought of Earth and its customs. 

Jim had never really thought about it much. He just grew up that way and so it was the norm for him to behave in certain ways, but when asked about why Humans did something, or how, or what for, he really started to think. He became a bit more self-aware, which wasn’t always a nice feeling, but some introspection was welcome. 

Yes, Jim had realised from their last lesson that T’Val was an inquisitive kid, but she always wanted to know facts and truths. That was all fine by Jim, but it was so at odds with himself growing up, and Joanna too actually. When Jim was a kid he would constantly make use of his imagination, making up places, people, adventures, and then go entertain himself for a few hours. Sometimes Sam would join in if he didn’t feel like he was too old for playtime, and Jim remembered it as being the best parts of his childhood. There were no limits on his imagination, and he could be whatever he wanted to be.

Jim wanted to bring out the same thing in T’Val, or at least see if it was possible for her to make use of her imagination. He wasn’t sure how they raised kids on Vulcan, but by adulthood they all seemed to be lean, mean, fact machines. As much respect Jim had for different cultures, there were often times he would disagree with how they went about things, and the Vulcan way of dedicating one’s life to logic was sometimes difficult for him to understand.

Having made it to Spock’s building and into his apartment, Jim immediately divided up all the toys he’d brought with him, making sure T’Val watched as he unearthed everything from the box.

Finally when he was done, Jim placed his hands on his hips, proudly surveying all the items spread out before them.

“Now we play.” He announced to the room.

T’Val just looked at him.

Jim nodded at the toys. “Play.”

“Play.” T’Val repeated, still looking at him.

“You do know how to play, don’t you?” Jim asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Many of my classmates engage in the act.”

“And you?”

“It is an interesting Human custom to observe.” 

Jim sighed. All this effort for nothing. “You know, I keep telling you, T’Val. The best way to learn about something is not to observe, but to partake.”

“Interesting.” T’Val looked at the toys before her.

Jim sat down on the floor and patted the spot next to him. T’Val understood the gesture and sat herself next to him.

And so began their second lesson, by Jim trying to teach T’Val how to play. She didn’t seem very interested in the colouring books or pencils, so he pushed them to the side. The first thing she reached for was one of the plastic dinosaurs, turning it in her hand in examination. 

Jim thought that was a good place as any to start, and so he made use of the rest of the plastic toys. He set some of them up on the floor, making up stories as he went along, and encouraged T’Val to do the same. However, she looked to be struggling. Her little eyebrows were furrowed, and she only watched as Jim played with the toys on his own. Finally, when he brought in the plastic spaceships and had them attack the Brontosauruses, she broke. 

“This is illogical.” She complained. “Dinosaurs did not exist at the same time as the first spaceship, let alone the more advanced ones these playthings are modelled after.”

“These ones did.” Retorted Jim, prancing a stegosaurus in front of T’Val’s face and mock-roaring. T’Val did not look amused. 

Jim lowered his arm. “How about this: the first thing that comes to mind as being the logical answer or solution— go the complete opposite direction of it. So, like, if gravity exists, then now they can all fly.” He picked up the T-rex. “A T-Rex is a meat-eater, but now it’s a vegetarian and makes friends with the other herbivores.” He walked the T-Rex across the floor and to the group of herbivores set up in a circle.

“Utopia.” T’Val muttered quietly, concentrating hard on what he was saying.

“Sure.” Jim snorted. She really was too adorable. “Now you give it a go.”

T’Val stared at him.

“Go on.” He encouraged with a smile.

“Dinosaurs, lions and spaceships did not exist during the same time…” she started, a frown marring her face. Jim felt himself sigh in resignation. He had tried. But then miraculously, she continued, “...but for the purposes of playtime they co-exist.”

It was good enough for Jim.

He whooped loudly, clapping his hands together. “Excellent! Now you’re getting the hang of it!”

*

Spock had received a video transmission from none other than his old mentor and captain, Christopher Pike, just as Jim Kirk had buzzed the intercom. Pike had wished for their conversation to be private, and so Spock was unable to oversee the beginning of Jim Kirk’s second lesson with T’Val. He had made sure to issue a warning that if anything insidious occurred during his absence, there would be severe consequences. Jim scowled but assented to Spock’s terms, and T’Val readily agreed. Sometimes Spock would hear a small commotion through the bedroom door, but for the most part they kept to low murmuring.

He had made himself comfortable in his desk chair, and propped the PADD up against the desk.

“We alone now?” Pike asked through the unit.

“We are in private quarters now.” Spock confirmed.

“Good, good. So, how’re you Spock? I realise we haven’t spoken in a while.”

It had indeed been a long time since he and Spock had conversed, and even longer since they saw each other in person. The last time they had met had been several months ago when Pike had invited Spock over for dinner at his house. Pike had look tired but excited to finally talk and catch up, and his energy and enthusiasm at seeing Spock had the Vulcan finding himself struggling with the dinner. 

When Spock had just started out at the academy, he had developed an unfortunate infatuation with Pike. It was unfortunate because student-teacher relationships were forbidden and could lead to the teacher being court-martialed if they were even found out, but it had not stopped Spock’s heart from pacing whenever the man swooped into the lecture hall, eyes stern and voice reverberating through the room as he spoke. There was something in the startling blue eyes and authoritative presence that had grabbed Spock’s attention from the very start, and he was enraptured. 

Often Spock would visit Pike during office hours for legitimate questions he had in regards to their coursework, and he found that Pike was much softer than the strong persona he portrayed during lectures. Far from diminishing Spock’s infatuation, it had spurred it on, and so went the first two years of his academy life.

Sometimes Pike would let his guard down during Spock’s visits, and he would get to experience the man when unguarded. Spock considered himself fortunate to have gotten to experience Pike’s deep, throaty laugh, and big warm hands which had at one point touched Spock’s wrist when Pike had delved deeper into the explanation of one of Spock’s questions. He had immediately jumped back and apologised for his slip, but Spock assured him it was not necessary. Later that day he had gone back home and spent an inordinate amount of time blushing as he thought about that one sole exchange between him and Pike.

As the years went on, his infatuation lessened, and by the time Spock had graduated and been assigned a post aboard the _U.S.S. Redemption_ , the ship Pike was to be captain of, the two had become friends.

Spock thought the attraction would have faded entirely the older he got, but apparently it still flared up from time to time.

“I am well, Christopher. How do you fare?”

“I’m alright, can’t complain much.” Pike responded, scratching his chin. Spock saw he had let his beard grow, and it was a mixed shade of grey and white. “Teaching still treating you well?”

“It is adequate.”

Pike chuckled, his deep laugh reverberating through the tiny speakers in the comm unit. “Still can’t believe you’re dealing with just passed puberty kids.”

“Many of my classes consist of beings ranging between the ages twenty to twenty-eight.”

“Now, they do. But that’s not how it started out.”

Spock remembered his first classes at the academy. The students had all been so eager, showing up to his classes early and blocking up the hallways from the number of them. However, as the semester went on he saw as they all trickled away and several showed up hungover or just slept in his classes. It did not help his motivation to teach. “I must admit that it was difficult at the start.”

Pike waved a hand at him. “Don’t worry, we all have to go through with it. The important thing is you survived.”

“Indeed.”

“Do you ever miss space, Spock?” Pike asked suddenly.

Spock gave the question some thought. “If I am to be honest, I have not given the idea much consideration.”

Pike leaned back in his seat and hummed. “Good old space. The final frontier. We had some good times aboard the _Redemption_ , didn’t we?”

Spock recalled his time aboard the starship, his very first voyage out into space. He had intended to focus on his duties, giving them the utmost priority, which he did, but surprisingly Spock found himself socialising with the crew from time to time. It was an odd situation to find himself in, as he never actively sought to end up in a group of people as they put together ping pong competitions in the recreation centre. Sometimes Pike would join, but more often he and Spock would break away from the group as they were reaching peak rowdiness and spend time simply talking. Spock remembered there was never a lack of company during his meals in the mess hall either, as there would always be someone who recognised him. It only made sense, as the ship had a crew of 75 people, but despite the small number Spock felt as if he were truly welcome.

“It was an enjoyable experience.” He agreed.

“That’s what I thought.” Pike grinned.

“Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just for my amusement.” Pike smiled, but Spock could see an underlying mirth in the man’s eyes.

“What are you currently engaging in, Christopher?” He asked.

Pike tapped the side of his nose and smiled wryly. “That’s a secret.” Spock simply stared the screen, and Pike chuckled. “But since you’re forcing it out of me… it has to do with the Enterprise.”

The _U.S.S Enterprise_.

Pike had been assigned the project over a year ago, and he had yet to finish the work. The development of the _Enterprise_ was the source of much gossip at the academy, among cadets and staff alike. Since its announcement Spock had continuously heard whispered words or rumours about its creation, the staff to be assigned to it, its features and how it was set to become the pioneer starship of its age.

Spock opened his mouth to ask how development was faring with the _Enterprise_ when there was a sudden beep. Spock saw Pike frowning.

“Sorry, Spock, I just got a message from Starfleet Command.” He murmured. Spock saw him leaning forward and his fingers coming up to the camera, most likely to swipe open the message.

A few moments passed, and then Pike sighed.

“You must depart?” Spock guessed. Pike’s tutting was answer enough.

“Assholes.” Pike grumbled. “Another meeting… Like we haven’t had fifty of those already today. I’m telling you, Spock, never become an Admiral.”

“I will endeavour to take your advice to heart.”

Pike snorted. “Insubordinate brat. Sorry to cut our chat short, Spock, but you know how it is. Duty calls.” He drawled lazily with an unimpressed look. He threw Spock a sloppy salute. “It was good talking to you.”

In return Spock held up his hand in the _ta’al_. “Live long and prosper.”

Pike smiled, and the image cut off.

Spock sat for a moment in his chair, unmoving. If pressed, he would admit he was disappointed at the short time he had to converse with his friend. He rarely got the chance to speak with him now, and he knew a lot of it was due to their respective working schedules. However, it was not something that could be altered.

At least now he could oversee the rest of Jim Kirk’s lesson on Human customs. The man was a strange being and his methods of teaching were unusual and not to Spock’s liking. However, Spock was aware enough to see that the abnormality of the lessons were not entirely up to Jim Kirk’s teaching, but the subject being taught. From his stay on Earth Spock had observed that Humans were among the most peculiar species he had ever encountered, and even after living on the planet for over half a decade he could not discern why they behaved as they did.

Spock stood from his seat and placed his comm on his nightstand before going to check on T’Val’s progress. 

What he walked in on was T’Val painting Jim’s nails an eye-searing shade of yellow and singing a very even version of the Old Earth lullaby ‘ _You Are My Sunshine_ ’.

Jim looked as if he were enjoying the activity far more than was acceptable, grin widening as T’Val started in on the second verse of the lullaby. He looked up briefly, and he and Spock locked eyes. There was a tense moment of staring before Jim offered a closed-lipped smile and a nod. Spock cautiously returned it, then turned to make his way into the kitchen. He did not wish to know what was currently transpiring in his living room.

“Spock, look.” T’Val declared suddenly. Spock turned and saw her step back in order to showcase Jim’s fingers. “I have partaken in the medium of art.”

Jim wiggled his fingers, proudly displaying his messily coloured fingernails. “Pretty, right?” He grinned.

“Extremely so.” Spock complied, not wishing to upset the artist.

T’Val lips curled up slightly at the approval. Jim’s eyebrows jumped and his mouth dropped open in shock.

“Holy shit. You smiled!” He blurted out.

“I did no such thing.” T’Val defended, her mouth immediately turning back down.

“Yeah, you did! You smiled! It was such a cute one, too.” Jim grinned.

A sudden flush of green coloured T’Val's cheeks, and Jim couldn’t help but laugh. She was _adorable_. He was about to make fun of her some more, maybe darken that shade of green, when Spock interrupted.

“Jim, I wish to converse with you in private.” 

Jim scowled, but nodded. He gingerly stood up, careful not to mess up the still drying nail polish. 

“Why don’t you practice your singing?” He told T’Val, carefully motioning at the colour book where Jim had written a few lullabies down in. T’Val picked up the book and began flipping through its pages. Jim couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She was so eager to learn, and it was such fun watching her absorb stuff he’d learnt what felt like an eternity ago.

Spock silently led Jim further into the kitchen until they reached the furthest corner. He then turned around and clasped his hands behind his back.

“I believe T’Val has taken a liking to you.” He said in a lowered voice.

“Yeah, what else is new?” Jim whispered back, confused. Of course the kid liked him, he was amazing.

“In a romantic sense.” Spock clarified.

Jim huffed out a laugh. “No way. She’s just glad to have a friend to play with.”

“She has several acquaintances at her school.”

“And how many of them have been over here to play? Or has she ever been over at their place, for that matter? Come on, Spock, she’s a kid, let her live a little.” He argued, glancing back at T’Val. He could hear her repeating words from ‘Three Blind Mice’. He could just imagine her bewilderment over why someone would write a song for kids about a carver hacking after three blind animals. He had to agree, Humans really were strange.

“She is a Vulcan.” Spock countered.

“She’s _half_ -Vulcan. She’s also half-Human, and she should experience what it means to be one. I mean I know you grew up on Vulcan so you’re used to the whole repressing your emotions thing, but she’s among Humans now. It’s going to be really difficult for her to constantly keep her feelings at bay. She needs to let them out once in a while, like how a bird spreads their wings.”

“T’Val is not an avian mammal.”

Jim sighed. “You know what I mean. Come on Spock, don’t be a dick. What I’m saying is you should let her experience Human culture outside of your supervision. Let her play with some kids, go to sleepovers, or just have them play over here. It’s not healthy for her to bottle up her emotions, especially not here on Earth where she’s constantly surrounded by it. Letting her experience bouts of feelings from time to time will help her cope with living here.” 

Spock was silent for a few moments, leaving Jim to wait while listening to T’Val speak another round of ‘Three Blind Mice.’

“You are not entirely incorrect in your suggestion.” Spock murmured, looking contemplative. Or, as contemplative as Jim had ever seen Spock. He wondered if the guy wished he could’ve been more lax with his emotions when growing up. Maybe it would’ve changed him from how he is now, made him more likeable. It was an interesting thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a few pages longer than the others, but I didn't know how to cut it down to less, so enjoy this longer-than-usual chapter 7 :P
> 
> Also, if you see any mistakes in my writing, you're more than free to tell me about it. I'd really appreciate it as it helps with my writing :)

“So who’s the new alien?” Bones asked, just as Jim came through the door.

“What?”

His friend threw Jim a smirk from where he was sat on the couch. “Scurrying off after classes, slinking into the apartment in the evenings. You’re really not doing a good job of hiding them, Jim.”

“Hiding who?” Jim asked, honestly confused.

“Where are you disappearing off to these days, kid?” Bones asked, making sure to enunciate every word since Jim appeared to be particularly slow today.

Oh. 

_Oh._

Jim got it now.

Ha ha, Bones was hilarious. Apparently in his friend’s mind the only reason Jim would be staying out and keeping things in the dark was because he was having super secret sex, and _of course_ Bones thought it was with an alien, because he continuously claimed Jim had an affinity for aliens which Jim totally would not admit but was obvious to anyone with eyes.

Bones was such an ass sometimes.

No, in reality Jim had returned from another lesson with T’Val. By some miracle he had passed the third lesson, and even though there was no change in Spock’s facial expression, Jim just _felt_ he wasn’t happy about it. Jim was a little insulted that Spock kind of didn’t think he’d be able to pass playing learning games with a kid, but maybe for Vulcans these kind of tasks were difficult. Still, he had to give the guy props for going through with his promise even though he’d clearly been against it (and still was, probably). 

The three of them, Spock, Jim and T’Val, had discussed Jim’s availability during the week and together they'd decided to undertake one lesson per week. T’Val looked as if she had wanted to argue for more than that, but Jim didn’t always have time. Still, he wasn’t certain she wouldn’t be able to wiggle in a second lesson if she wanted to, the girl was just too unintentionally funny that Jim would probably agree to it. 

This also meant that now when he saw them at the tram stop just as they were leaving, he was able to say a quick hello, maybe even have a small chat with T’Val, and, if he was feeling especially generous, give Spock a nod. That was as friendly as Jim was getting with the guy, and Spock seemed to be happy to keep their relationship that way.

It was actually pretty crazy how invested in the lessons he’d gotten. It was basically doing things kids did, but with a Vulcan kid, which was like a hundred times more fun. Sometimes Jim wondered if T’Val could be a stand up comedian what with all the strange things that came out of her mouth. Though like, a weird, deadpan comedian that did observational humour. He’d also written a list of things they could try out, like hide-n-seek, play at a playground, go to a museum— though he’d need to either take Spock on all of those or convince the guy that Jim was a fully responsible adult that could go out into public on his own.

It was a good thing Bones wouldn’t be there for that or he’d contend Jim on every point.

Jim went to drop his keys on the kitchen counter. “You got me. I’ve secretly been having sex. Don’t tell my mother, she still thinks I’m a virgin.” He deadpanned.

“What I want to know is why you’ve been keeping it so hush-hush?”

“Because they’re famous, _obviously_.”

“You really think me an idiot, don’t you?” Bones drawled, narrowing his eyes at Jim.

“You’ve given very little evidence against it.” Jim shrugged.

Bones stared at him for a long time, then slowly patted the seat next to him on the couch.

“You’re not going to punch me, are you?” Jim asked, a little worried. Bones most definitely would punch him, but he didn’t know how hard.

“Obviously. Now sit down, tell me where you’ve been disappearing off to all this time. It feels like you don’t even live here anymore, just me and Gary.”

Jim winced, and dropped down on the couch next to him. “He’s not been giving you too much trouble, has he?”

“That man is trouble, Jim, no sense in taking anything he says to face value.”

Jim sighed. Gary was… a handful, to put it delicately. 

Jim had found an ad for his current apartment on one of the bulletin boards on campus, and needing a place to stay for next year had immediately checked it out. It had been clean and big enough, though a bit far from the academy but it was too expensive to get anything closer. From what Jim had seen, it was pretty decent for the price he would be paying. He hadn’t really paid Gary much attention other than trying to be friendly when he came to look at the room, since he didn’t plan on doing much other than sleeping, eating and occasionally revising at the apartment.

It was about two weeks after Jim moved in that he realised Gary was a bit… on the bigoted side. He was a bit xenophobic, and a bit too loud about it when with his friends, but when with strangers you really had to listen to what he was saying to parse out his meaning. It worried Jim, not only because Gary was like that, but because he had a surprising number of friends. Jim wasn’t sure if they were like him too or just didn’t realise how he was like. He really hoped it was the latter.

“Well.” Bones began, “Where’ve you been hiding away?”

“I just want to go on the record and say that I haven’t been hiding, and I still miss hanging out with you, you great, old grump.” He flashed Bones a grin.

“Jim.” Bones prompted, not falling for it.

Jim sighed, then rubbed the back of his head. “I’ve kind of been tutoring this Vulcan kid.”

Bones raised one eyebrow which was enough of a question. Jim went on, “This kid wanted to learn more about Human culture and behaviour, so they asked their legal guardian if I could tutor them. We came to some kind of agreement, the ‘how’ is a bit lost on me to be honest, and yeah… now I go over there twice a week and teach. About Humans.”

“Why would a Vulcan need you to teach their kid?”

“Not actually their kid, Bones. God, you’re so xenophobic.” He said in mock-offense. Bones swatted his arm, and Jim grinned. “They chose me because apparently I’m smart—” Bones snorted. “Beautiful—” Again, Bones threw Jim an incredulous look. “And everyone loves me.”

“And the real reason?” Bones drawled, not having believed a word of bullshit Jim had just spewed. This was why Jim loved Bones. He was just so real.

“The real reason actually is because I’m smart— no seriously, that’s one of the reasons— I know quite a lot about Human culture, and the kid likes me. Winning formula, right there.” He finished.

Bones levelled him with a calculating look. “That still doesn’t explain how you got dragged into this in the first place.”

“Oh yeah, remember that Vulcan kid I ran into at the station?” At Bones’ nod, Jim explained, “It’s them.”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s them.”

“How in the hell did you end up tutoring the Vulcan kid you met at the tram station?” Bones demanded.

Jim shrugged.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

Jim shrugged again, adding in a grimace for good measure. Honestly, he hadn’t thought about it much, mainly because the journey from when he and T’Val first met to where they were now was just too absurd.

Bones levelled him with a long, hard stare. “You ever heard of something called ‘boundaries’, Jim? Cause you’ve stepped out of all of them.”

“I don’t get what the big deal is.”

“You don’t get—” Bones cut off, pressing his lips together. “Jim, I can’t even put into words how beyond creepy this is.”

“What? I didn’t force it or anything! If anything T’Val did!” Jim argued.

“T’Val?”

“That’s the kid’s name. She snuck my number off my comm and specifically called me to become her tutor.”

“You expect me to believe a Vulcan did that?”

“Yes!” Bones stared at Jim. “What, you think I’m lying?” Bones stares some more. “Unbelievable.” Jim muttered.

“Even if that did happen—”

“Which it did.”

“—There was no reason for you to accept.” Bones finished resolutely, then paused. “Was there?”

Jim rubbed at his nose. “Nah, I just…” 

Jim remembered the day T’Val called, and how he’d irrationally thought she’d been taken earlier. It had catapulted him back to Tarsus IV, and he’d been kind of on edge since he got back home. Jim hadn’t told Bones about his time on that planet, but he’d alluded to it on a few occasions, and it was a good thing the guy knew how to take visual cues, because Jim was never in the mood for an emotional talk about ‘feelings’. Bones had just made himself scarce, telling Jim to quarantine himself in his room until he got out of his funk, which damn, could’ve been said nicer, but Jim appreciated his friend’s concern. 

Yeah, Jim remembered that day. He also remembered her trying to convince him to tutor her, how she’d offered him references from the Vulcan archives, and sounded so sad about her mom, and damn, okay, he’d totally played into T’Val’s hands, hadn’t he? 

Jim shrugged one shoulder. “She tricked me into it.”

Bones shook his head. “Only you could get yourself into this kind of shit.” He sighed. “So who’s the parent?”

“He’s not actually their parent, Bones, I told you. He’s T’Val’s legal guardian, and he’s called Spock.”

Bones suddenly sat up. “Do you mean that Vulcan bastard from the academy?”

Jim peered at his friend apprehensively. “Is that his maiden name?”

“Jim!” Bones exclaimed. “You do realise you’re talking about the guy who teaches Xenolinguistics at our academy.”

“So? Loads of people teach at the academy, what’s the big deal?”

Bones grumbled, and leaned back. “Nothing, really. He’s just odd, that one.”

“How so?”

“Just is.” This time it was Bones’ turn to shrug. “The only Vulcan in Starfleet.”

Jim’s eyebrows rose. That was impressive, actually. From how often he’d heard stories about Vulcans in the news and passing, he thought there’d be more of them living on Earth. Guess his perception of the world really was limited to what the media showed him.

“So why’re you so interested in this guy?” He asked Bones.

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you’re really acting like it.” Jim snorted. Bones kneed him in the shin.

“Shut your mouth, kid. I just happen to care because I had him in my Xenolinguistics module last semester. Don’t know why we needed to study it, we’re in medicine for Gods’ sake.”

“And what happened?” Jim wondered.

“Found out he was one hardass lecturer and a motherfucker of a grader.” 

Jim threw back his head and laughed. Classic Bones.

He wondered if Bones had ever bitched to him about Spock. He probably had, but Bones bitched about everything so Jim had developed this ability to tune him out when he was tired and just give the appropriate ‘uh-huh’, ‘wow’, and ‘that’s a bitch, man’ responses when needed.

If this was the extent of what Bones knew about Spock, it must’ve meant he didn’t know about the half-Human thing. Spock did seem like he wasn’t too keen on letting people know that little titbit of information.

“Hey, at least you came out of it a survivor.” Jim said, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

“Let’s drink to that.” Bones agreed, getting up from the couch. Jim followed suit and trailed after him into the kitchen.

“So how’s Joanna doing?” He asked, jumping up onto the counter.

“Gotten seriously obsessed with glitter lately.” Bones said as he opened the fridge door. “Let me tell you, that shit’s not cool at all.”

“She does seem to have an affinity for shiny things.” Jim nodded, remembering the time Joanna had worn all of Jim’s rings at once and refused to give them back until she had to go back to Jocelyn’s. “You sure she’s not part crow?”

“She’d be delighted if that were true. She’s always wanted to fly.” Bones smiled fondly.

“She’s coming over this weekend, right? Or was it next weekend?”

“This weekend.”

“Sweet. What’re you guys gonna do?”

“I’ve planned to take her to NASM in Washington D.C., have her look at the planes and spaceships there. Then I thought we’d explore the city during the day, and when we get back I promised her we’d bake chocolate muffins together.” Bones shut the fridge door, two beers in hand. He opened them both and handed one to Jim. “You’re free to join us if you want.”

Despite the amount of times Bones insisted it was fine for Jim to join in on his and Joanna’s quality time during the weekend, Jim felt bad about crashing the few moments Bones had alone with his daughter. Don’t get him wrong, Jim loved Joanna, but he could see how much she loved her dad and how excited she was to get to spend time with him. And Bones, for all of his gruff mannerisms and tendency to swear like a sailor, was actually a pretty great father. Jim thought maybe he should bring T’Val over to his apartment to meet Bones sometime.

“Oh,” Bones said suddenly. “I forgot.” He then punched Jim hard in the arm.

“Ow! What the hell, man?!” Jim yelped, rubbing his arm.

“Forgot to punch you earlier.” Bones pointed out, and took a sip of his beer.

*

Spock sat facing T’Val, each of them on their respective meditation mats. They had been in this position for 9.45 minutes, needing to complete a full ten before Spock could lead them into the next stage.

The ten minute mark passed, and both T’Val and Spock sighed deeply. T’Val looked up at Spock, awaiting his next instructions which allowed them to fall into their own meditative states. However, instead of granting T’Val permission to access deep meditation, Spock raised his hand and held it in front of her face.

“T’Val,” he began. “I wish for you to experience emotion.”

T’Val attempted to hold back her surprise, but she was certain she had been unsuccessful. “Why?”

“It has come to my attention that when living on Earth among Humans it would benefit you greatly if you were able to access your emotions.”

“Is it not taboo?” She asked slowly.

Spock hesitated briefly. “It is. However, circumstances dictate that it is an action that must be undertaken if you wish to acclimatise to life on Earth. As you will be staying on this planet for an indefinite amount of time, it is the only logical step to take.”

T’Val quietly considered Spock’s words. “You are correct.” She admitted.

“It is my wish to aid you every step of the way, and so I will require access to your mind. Do you grant me it?”

“I grant you it.” T’Val allowed.

Spock’s hand stretched forward and closed the remaining distance, his long fingers falling neatly over her meld points.

“My mind to your mind…” Spock murmured, and T’Val shut her eyes.

The feeling of being softly pushed through cold mist surrounded T’Val, and she was suddenly transferred to her inner mind, the place she came to whenever she fell into a deep meditative trance. T’Val liked to keep her mind clean and organised, and so she had taken the advice of her father and re-arranged all her thoughts to portray an image she could control. T’Val had chosen to keep her thoughts hidden behind hundreds of closed doors in an endless hallway, allowing her to access specific thoughts and memories whenever she wished for it.

A sudden knocking echoed through the hallway. T’Val looked around where she was stood, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise. She spotted an unfamiliar door a bit to her right, a deep red, and not blue like all her other doors. She walked towards it, pulled open the handle and stepped through. 

The first thing that greeted T’Val was the brightness of the sun, causing her to squint at the sudden change in lighting. After a moment her eyes had adjusted, and she slowly opened them.

Before her lay a vast desert, with rolling sand dunes and the wind whipping over them. The sky was coloured a light beige, and the sun’s rays blared down on her intensely. T’Val turned in a circle where she stood, taking in the distance the dunes stretched, out and out and out. There wasn’t a creature to be seen for miles, and only the sound of the wind whistling reached T’Val’s ears.

_T’Val._

T’Val turned and was suddenly faced with Spock, dressed as she had seen him on the meditation mat. His mouth did not move, but she could still hear him speak.

_This is a neutral zone I have created between my mind and yours._

_Why are we here?_

_It is best for you begin your endeavours somewhere where all of your surrounding memories will not affect you. You must pick and choose the ones you wish to bring out into the neutral zone._

T’Val was once again shocked, this time by Spock’s insistence to bring out her memories that were closely linked to her emotions. Her shock rang clear through the air like a gong. T’Val felt herself blush, ashamed that Spock had felt her shock, but then her shame rang through the air.

There was a moment of silence before Spock spoke. 

_It is unfortunate that shame appears to be your strongest emotion at this time._

A light feeling briefly creeped over T’Val’s shoulders, and she belatedly recognised it as being hints of shame from Spock. 

_Despite our commitment to logic, our Vulcan ancestors were once highly emotional beings. Though shameful, feelings run deep in us, and it is therefore tantamount that we learn how to keep them under control at all times._

T’Val’s feeling of agreement brushed through the air.

_However, Humans do not follow the same principles. For them it is essential to access their emotions in order to live. As a half-Human, it would be in your best interest to learn how to control your emotions as well as access them when necessary. Potentially it could aid you in strengthening your mental balance._

T’Val briefly contemplated Spock’s explanation, and a wave of uncertainty passed over them. She was uncertain who it belonged to.

_What do you wish for, T’Val?_

_I believe accessing my shame would be easiest._

T’Val felt the sharp breeze of Spock’s hesitancy in the air, but he conceded.

_Very well. Procure your most shameful memories and allow the emotion to wash over you._

T’Val nodded, and dropped her head. This was a difficult task for her. She would not only need to access her emotion of shame, but she would need to bring up her mind hallway in the neutral zone. She attempted to focus, and after a few moments was able to transport herself to her hallway of closed doors. She would need to quickly find her most shameful memories and pull them through to the neutral zone.

Quietly padding down the hallway, T’Val walked up to one of the doors. She placed her palm on its frame and listened.

_Ears— funny— Speak weird—_

She removed her hand. It was the memory of her first weeks at her current institution on Earth. The children in her class had been confused at her ears and manner of speaking, and even though she had not outwardly reacted, she had felt hot shame on the inside.

This would do.

T’Val pushed open the door a sliver, attempting to pull the memory out to the neutral zone, but the emotion that fell over her was too much. She quickly shut the door.

T’Val stared at the now shut door, unable to comprehend her reaction. She had been unsuccessful in her efforts. A small wave of worry washed over her, and T’Val realised it came from Spock. She flushed from shame once more, and the emotion fell over her heavily. She sensed her feelings growing rampant in her mind, in the hallway, fluttering against the closed doors, and so T’Val shut her eyes and focused hard on creating a new door. It materialised somewhere in the endless hallway, and T’Val shoved her shame, embarrassment and all other emotions elicited during this incident inside and shut it firmly.

She felt her mind calm considerably. T’Val looked down both sides of the corridor, noting the silence. She would need to access another door, one with less powerful feelings of shame behind it.

She abandoned her current door and ambled down the corridor, placing a hand on each door as she passed, trying to gauge the memory behind them.

_Interest— Speed of light— Numbers add up— Future of transwarp—_

_Soft— Fuzzy— Nuzzled her hand— Enjoyable to pet— Stripes—_

_Cruel words— Like grabbing fistfuls of broken glass— Ridiculing her— Insulting her mother— Disgust—_

T’Val snatched her hand back as if burned. She stared at the door. She could feel her heart rate had increased, beating fast in her chest.

_What ails you?_

T’Val looked away from the door. She could hear her breathing in the emptiness of the hallway. 

_I am uncomfortable attempting this task on my own._

T’Val felt a spike of fear in the air. It was not her own. She stepped away from the door, and sought out the red door that had appeared in her mind previously. She found it right behind her, and walked through it to the neutral zone.

Once more she stepped out into a vast desert, and Spock’s tall, dark figure stood in the middle of the rolling hills of sand. T’Val fidget briefly where she stood, and her uncertainty tinged the surroundings.

_Will you join me Spock?_

There was another spike of fear in the air, though more subdued than the last.

_I am not certain it will aid you._

_It will. I do not wish to embark on this task alone._

The wind silently blew grains of sand between them. T’Val could feel a mixture of emotions in the air, though they were difficult to parse out. She felt a brief flash of hesitancy, and then Spock inclined his head.

 _I will join you in your endeavour._

T’Val’s joy whipped through the air sharply, but she quickly buried it again. She was not to feel joy in this mind meld, but shame. T’Val gathered her strength and returned to her hallway of closed doors once more. She noted the switch between the neutral zone and her personal mind was getting easier. 

T’Val once more approached one of the doors, gently placing her hand on it.

_Her mother holding her close— wishing her farewell— taken elsewhere— confused—_

T’Val felt her shoulders tense. A sudden emotion had assaulted her hallway, and she could feel it shaking the frames of her mind. She removed her hand from the door and looked around. The hallway was empty.

Again, a strong wave of shame and guilt fell over her, and T’Val faltered backwards. Her mind rattled from the impact. T’Val grabbed at her hair, trying to breathe deeply and control her reaction. Fear was clawing at her insides as she could not explain what was happening. Was this how emotions felt like when raw? Was this what she would have to learn to handle? She could not focus enough to create another door to place these emotions behind, and so she quickly ran for the red door.

Once out in the neutral zone, she scouted her surroundings, trying to find a single trace of Spock but he was nowhere to be found. She turned around again, looking up into the sun, down at her feet, left, right, anywhere, simply searching the vast sand dunes and miles of emptiness for sign of her guardian.

Suddenly, a strong blast of wind hit T’Val.

_Intelligent beyond his years, beyond his peers— still lacked emotional control, at a loss, less than them, better than them but less than them—_

T’Val recognised the texture of the emotions; she could feel traces of Spock’s mind, of his shame.

_Tried to make up for areas where lacking— still half-Human, still cause for ridicule and contempt—_

A strong wind stirred around T’Val, and the sand swatted her in the face. She covered her face with her hands and put all her energy into attempting to contact Spock.

_Spock!_

_No matter how many theories he learned, formulas, equations, theories— still ridiculed—_

The temperature swiftly dropped and brought with it shivering frostiness. The wind picked up, swirling dangerously across the landscape. T’Val re-focused her efforts.

_Spock!_

_He still smiled when his mother came to pick him up after school— still yearned for her touch, her affection, warmer than the sun—_

The sky darkened, bringing with it black clouds and the sound of crackling thunder.

_Spock, please! ___

_And for that— for that he was scorned—_

_There was a bolt of lightning and T’Val yelped, crumbling to the ground with her arms covering her head._

Suddenly the skies cleared and the wind dropped. A hush fell over the desert as the warmth trickled back into the landscape. T’Val hesitantly peeked out from where she was crouched. Spock stood before her. 

Neither of them spoke, but there was a tenseness in the air. 

Suddenly T’Val saw the landscape around her disintegrate. The grains of sand began crumbling into an unknown pit, falling like drops of rain. The sun turned its back and fell away, erasing the skies and all of a sudden T’Val found herself suspended in the air before she dropped out. 

Her eyes opened. 

Spock sat before her on his meditation mat, gaze already on her. Silence hung in the air between them, reminiscent of the landscape they had just dropped out of. T’Val felt her hands bunched into fists, tenseness evident in the line of her shoulders. 

Finally, Spock quietly said, “I apologise, T’Val.” His brown eyes were glazed over. “It appears my presence is disruptive to your task.” 

T’Val averted her eyes. “Yes.” She admitted quietly. 

A brief hush passed. “Perhaps it is best if you attempted to access your emotions through trial and error.” 

“Perhaps.” T’Val echoed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. 

“I will embark on further research on how I can assist in improving your mental capabilities.” Spock announced, his voice still even. T’Val inclined her head. 

He slowly unfolded himself from his position, and the silence as he moved sat heavy in the air. It was a few moments of awkwardness before Spock managed to roll up his mat and quietly slink out of the room. 

T’Val felt herself relax at his departure. She unfurled her fists, and for the first time realised her nails had left indents in her palms. 

T’Val sighed. Indeed this mind meld had been unfortunate. 


	8. Chapter 8

There was something very freeing about playing a 22nd century Earth rap opera album to an eight year old Vulcan and being able to tell them about the importance it had on certain social issues on Earth at the time. 

But that was currently taking a backseat to Jim’s initial aim; teaching T’Val how to dance. 

Jim couldn’t dance well at the best of times, but if it meant he got to see how a Vulcan danced he would proudly display his cringe-inducing moves.

“You must first fall into the introductory stance, like so,” T’Val told him, and demonstrated by positioning herself with one arm over her head and another below her torso.

Jim leaned down to take in T’Val’s pose, checking how she leaned back on her right leg and dropped her left shoulder.

“It needs to be kinda like that?”

“It must be exactly like this.”

“That’s a bit strict.”

“ _Kaiidth_.”

Jim rolled his eyes. She’d explained to him that it was a common Vulcan phrase, meaning ‘what is, is’, and now that he knew what it meant she thought she could always get away with it as an explanation.

“There must be no touching,” T’Val continued. “And so it is essential that the couple practice often in order to correlate their movements to be entirely simultaneous. It should be as if you are looking into a mirror that reflects your every move.”

It made sense to Jim. Now that he knew that Vulcan hands were essentially erogenous zones for them, the whole ‘no touching’ rule, he understood why so much of their culture was centred around staying in your own respective bubbles and keeping your hands to yourself. He really wished they would have taught this in school for everyone to learn, and not just certain classes like Xenocultural Studies or Xenobiological Medicines. Bones must have been learning so much cool shit in his module, Jim would need to make sure ask him about it sometime.

“What if when dancing spontaneously with a partner?” Jim asked.

“It does not occur.” T’Val informed him firmly.

“Do Vulcans dance often?”

“We only dance during formal occasions, but even then only very few do so with their partners.”

Jim frowned. “You mean like, actual partners? Like spouses?”

“Affirmative.”

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time Jim thought that Vulcans were a strict bunch. To Jim, dancing was supposed to be a freeing experience, no co-ordination needed, just a will to move to the beat. The Vulcan way of dancing however seemed quite rigid and formal. 

He supposed it did make sense considering Vulcans were more reserved and Humans differed as a whole. They didn’t have a whole culture that the whole planet was a part of, like Vulcan, but had individual ones. T’Val had once told him that in the era before Surak, war and strife was common on Vulcan, but afterwards they all came together to fall under the teachings of Surak. Essentially, they’d put away their varying cultures and merged into a new one, which is why today no modern Vulcan was different, but shared their language, culture, and logic with everyone else on the planet. 

Earth, on the other hand, was vastly different. It consisted of over 220 different cultures and even more languages, some extremely common, like Standard, others only spoken by a handful of people. Since Jim had grown up on Earth, having such various cultures had been the norm for him, and it was only when he met people from off-planet that he realised that Earth actually was on the odd side. For such a tiny planet to have such tremendous difference in population, languages and culture that withstood history was astounding to visiting aliens, and it was a huge discussion topic in many Xenocultural academic journals. Jim figured that’s also why Earth was such a popular tourist destination.

He thought of how it would look to try Vulcan dancing, imagining the description T’Val said about it looking as if you were dancing in front of a mirror. He had to admit, it sounded pretty cool. 

Humans regularly danced to their own beat, but it seemed Vulcans often did things in pairs. In fact, Jim remembered T’Val had shared with him many things about Vulcan, and always she would stress that they were done in pairs. He wondered if it was required of Vulcans to have partners, or if it was considered taboo not to have one.

“Fascinating.” Jim murmured.

T’Val suddenly dropped her arms, and a stern look came over her face. “I wish to learn how to cook.” She announced. 

Jim frowned. Okay, that was a pretty sudden shift in topic, but he could deal with it. “Why?”

“I must learn to sustain myself.”

“You’re eight.”

“I am aware of my old age.”

Jim chanced an exasperated glance at Spock, who had taken to working in the room with them. Despite the animosity at the start, they had kind of tentatively figured out a way that Spock could be present and not be a distraction to Jim (a.k.a pissing him the fuck off). Jim had thought Spock was just over-protective of T’Val, which he was, but he genuinely wished to be present during the lessons. Usually he’d just be sitting in the corner somewhere, out of Jim’s vision, working on his own stuff, but sometimes he’d watch and listen to what was being taught. His existence was near non-existent now, a huge change compared to the first lesson.

Twenty minutes later Jim called the lesson to an end, and as usual T’Val wished him goodbye before heading into her room to immediately review her notes. 

Jim quirked a smile at that. She was so studious it was adorable. Jim hoped, no, _knew_ , she’d be going places.

He began to quietly pack his things. It had become a bit of ritual that Jim would leave right after the lesson was completed, and he and Spock had made it through every lesson so far without talking afterwards. He was just about to head for the hallway and grab his shoes when Spock called.

“Jim, would you please stay.” He stated.

Jim peered at Spock, eyebrow raised. “Why?”

“I wish to ask you a few questions.” He said, and stood up. “Please follow me.”

Jim watched as Spock walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to follow after, but Spock never wanted to willingly talk to him. Did it mean something had happened? Did he actually have something he needed to tell Jim personally? Oh shit, was this a review of his teaching so far? God, Jim hated being reviewed. He looked to the door, wondering if he could quickly dash out.

“Jim.” Came Spock’s voice from the kitchen. Jim held back a sigh and looked away from the door. If he didn’t know Vulcans were touch telepaths he would have though for sure Spock was reading his mind. 

Jim entered the kitchen and saw Spock was already sat at the kitchen table, leaving the only other chair for him. He gingerly sat down, and waited.

Spock crossed his hands on the table, and asked, “Why do Humans engage in the act of ‘gossip’?” 

Jim blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“I wish to know why Humans deem it important or necessary to share secrets about others.”

“…Right.” Jim said, then frowned. “Is that… is that all you wanted to ask of me?”

“I have other questions beside this one.”

“Okay.” Jim said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Um, well… They gossip because for some people it’s just fun. There’s a bit of a thrill, you get to know stuff about people around you.”

“It is usually negative.”

“Yeah, Humans are kind of assholes.” Jim nodded. “Like, if you share positive stuff about someone else, it’s kind of the norm, but when it’s negative it’s very hush-hush, and that’s one of the reasons it could be fun for some people. Because technically it’s wrong to share bad stuff about someone, like talk shit behind their back.”

“Though I do not understand your last analogy, I must agree with the rest. It is unethical to share another’s secrecy without their knowledge.”

“Yeah, Humans tend to blur the lines when it comes to that. And also most things they like. It’s called ‘justifying something’.” Jim explained. He’d really gotten into the groove of this ‘explaining weird shit Humans do’ from all his lessons with T’Val, and though he’d usually be embarrassed about giving vague answers when educating someone, he’d become more comfortable with it ever since he realised that Humans were a vague, independent-thinking bunch.

“Curious.” Spock commented.

“That’s Humans in a nutshell.” Jim shrugged. “Was that all you wanted to talk about?” He asked, hoping he could get out of this weird situation right now.

“I have more inquiries.” Said Spock, looking suddenly serious. “Please tell me, why do Humans shave?”

“Why do we shave?” Jim laughed. “Because we grow hair.”

“Many species grow hair, yet they do not deem it necessary to trim it.”

“True,” Jim admitted. “But Humans… okay, so there are different kinds of shaving, and it all depends on the person and I suppose in some cases where they shave.”

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Why does the location of a being affect their decision to shave? It is illo—“ He suddenly stopped.

Jim was chuckling. 

“Why do you laugh?” Spock asked.

“Sorry, I didn’t meant it to come out in a mean way or anything. It’s just…” Jim grinned. “It’s kind of fun seeing you allow your curiosity to get the better of you.” 

There a moment of silence before Spock said, “As I was saying…”

“And I didn’t meant ‘where’ as in a geographical location, I meant it as in where on their body.” Jim explained quickly.

“I see.” Spock said. 

Jim couldn’t help but smile. He was seeing some clear parallels between Spock and T’Val, and honestly, it was really cute. It was amazing how curious the two of them were about Human culture, and they were probably like twenty years apart in age.

“You know, Spock, when it comes to things like this, like more biological things, I’m not the best person to ask. But actually, I think my friend Bones could help you answer any that you have. He’s studying to become a Xenomedical doctor right now, but he’s already got a degree in Human Medicine, so he knows loads about Human biology, medicine, and all that.”

Spock suddenly leaned back, face growing closed off. “That will not be necessary.”

Jim frowned. What the hell?

“He’s a real good guy, I swear.” He pressed gently, not wanting to leave Spock with a bad image of Bones. The guy could manage that just fine on his own.

Spock stood from his seat and gave one stiff nod. “I believe you were leaving.”

Jim watched as Spock then promptly walked into his room and shut the door behind himself. He sat where he was, in the echoes of the silence left behind.

Okay, that was weird.

*

By some miracle, Jim had proven himself to be trustful enough by Spock that he and T’Val were now allowed to take walks near his apartment, _alone_ , and today Spock had even granted them permission to visit the park ten minutes away. The guy himself was preoccupied with some extra work he’d been saddled with, apparently another professor had fallen ill and he’d been given their workload, so he couldn’t join Jim and T’Val’s lesson. 

Jim was secretly glad for it, because even though Spock seemed to have reverted back to his usual, stoic self, he still remembered the interaction they’d had last time where the guy had just up and left suddenly. It was weird, and he couldn’t get the reaction out of his head. It must have definitely been something he said, but he’d replayed the conversation over in his head several times and still came up empty handed as to why.

He’d just have to put the issue to rest for the moment, since he had some important plans to tend to at the moment. 

Jim had decided to take T’Val out for ice cream, because kids liked ice cream, and Jim liked ice cream, and so that was something they had in common. T’Val had wanted two scoops, one mango and one raspberry, and Jim himself chose regular pistachio flavour with crushed almonds on top.

They found an empty bench in the park and sat down, leisurely enjoying they’re time eating their ice-creams.

“I understand it makes sense to consume something cold when the weather is warm.” T’Val commented.

“Yep.” Jim confirmed. “Sometimes my friends and I would buy ice cream during winter.”

T’Val looked to him. “That is illogical.”

“Yep.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jim shrugged. “Because we lived on the edge.” 

They fell into a comfortable silence, simply eating their ice-cream and observing their surroundings. There were quite a few people out today, and Jim recognised two people from Starfleet sitting with a group of friends. The weather really was perfect for just sitting outside and relaxing. He wondered if Bones would be up for a picnic if Jim brought it up.

“How’re you liking Earth so far?” He asked.

“I am adapting.”

Jim snorted. “That’s comforting. Anything in particular you like? As opposed to Vulcan, I mean.”

T’Val took a moment to ponder the question. “There is far more vegetation on Earth than on Vulcan.”

Jim nodded. “It’s a desert planet, right?”

“It is. Jim, I have noticed your knowledge of Vulcan has increased drastically since our first meeting.”

Jim grinned. “Well, I kind of had reason to look into it. It’s an interesting culture.”

“Thank you. I likewise consider Earth to be fascinating.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Would suck if you hated it here.”

“Indeed. Fortunately, I am finding my time on this planet enjoyable, and I must admit I am relieved I must not undergo similar medical treatments here as I did on Vulcan.”

“You mean like check-ups at the doctor?” A sudden panicked look crossed over T’Val’s face, and that put Jim on instant high alert. “What happened?”

“The ice-cream…” T’Val grimaced. Jim looked at her ice-cream, and saw some of it had melted and dripped down onto her hand. He let out a sigh of relief, and a dumb grin stretched across his lips.

“Damn it, T’Val, you had me thinking you were hurt or something.” Jim chuckled, and took T’Val’s ice-cream out of her hand. “Go on, use your napkin to wipe yourself clean.”

T’Val did as she was instructed, and Jim lapped up the sides of her cone, making sure to get the melted bits. Once she was done Jim handed the cone back. “Just make sure to lick up the bits near the bottom before they drip down, okay?”

“Understood.” T’Val confirmed, and went right back to licking her ice-cream.

Jim let out an amused huff, and returned to his own. “So you were saying something about not liking the doctor’s?”

T’Val seemed to hesitate briefly. “Ever since my birth, I regularly attended examinations at the VSA— that is the Vulcan Science Academy. They continuously ran tests on me and would observe how I grew in comparison to my other Vulcan peers.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “Why would they do that?”

“Because I am a Human-Vulcan hybrid. They wished to measure the differences between beings such as myself and the average full-blooded Vulcan for their research.”

“Oh my God! That can’t be ethical!” Jim exclaimed.

“On Vulcan, the pursuit of knowledge come before anything else. Since I am one of few Vulcan hybrids in the galaxy, I was often experimented on. _Kaiidth_ , Jim.”

“Do not use that excuse on me right now.” Jim said vehemently.

T’Val blinked at him, then continued in a softer voice. “I was never physically, mentally or psychologically harmed, only observed and various aspects of my body and mind measured.”

“It’s still terrible!” Jim argued.

“For you.”

“You just said you didn’t like going either!”

T’Val paused, then admitted, “Yes. However, it was a necessity. My participation aided my people and planet in furthering their scientific knowledge.”

Jim looked grim, but instead of arguing further asked, “Does that mean you don’t like going to the doctors?”

“I must admit to having some reluctance.” T’Val said quietly.

Jim watched as she silently licked at her ice-cream. He was so angry at Vulcan for putting this kid through experimentation, and since she was born, too. Jim was against running tests on anyone underage or unable to give their consent, and seeing that that ideal was so ruthlessly ignored by Vulcans for the pursuit of scientific discovery had his blood boiling. 

A sudden thought occurred to Jim. “Did Spock undergo the same treatment you did?”

“That is not for me to share.” T’Val said promptly.

Jim snorted. She was one loyal little lady. Jim smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Good girl.”

They fell into another silence, and Jim wondered if the results of the studies done one T’Val were kept in the Vulcan archives. He still hadn’t made use of them even though T’Val had offered, and honestly, right now he’s not so sure he ever wants to. There’s no telling what methods were used to get all that information.

They sat on the bench a bit longer, finishing their ice-creams in peace. They watched the people around them, and Jim promised he wouldn’t tell Spock if T’Val petted the nice lady’s dog that came sniffing near them. He’d taken to carrying around anti-bacterial wipes with him, something Bones suggested (“Because kids want to touch everything, Jim. And I mean _everything._ ”), and he had to say it was coming in very handy. He didn’t have to use them very often, more so on himself than T’Val, but sometimes the occasion arose. It was funny how T’Val went to such extremes to keep her hands to herself, but as soon as she was confronted with a furry little animal she just had to pet it.

Once T’Val was done petting the dog, Jim watched as her eyes fondly trailed after the dog as it left with its owner. As soon as they were out of sight T’Val returned to her spot on the bench, and Jim handed her a bacterial wipe. He waited patiently as she cleaned her hands, but a sudden thought was bothering him.

“Hey, T’Val.” Jim began. “Do you like me?”

The thing was, Jim didn’t actually believe Spock about T’Val liking him, but what if the guy was right. He needed to nip it in the bud straight away then.

“I do.” T’Val answered absently.

Shit. 

“A lot?” Jim hedged.

“Affirmative.” She replied, and held the used anti-bacterial wipe out to Jim. He held back a sigh and accepted it. He couldn’t believe he had to deal with this. 

“Listen, T’Val,” Jim started. “Know I really like you a lot, too. I really do, but there’s no romantic feeling behind it. I just like you as the kid you are, you know, you’re a great little lady and—”

“Jim.” T’Val interrupted. “You misunderstand.”

Jim stopped. “What?”

“My affection for you is strictly platonic.”

“Oh.” Jim felt himself flush from shame. Well, that was embarrassing.

“You believed me to hold romantic affections for you?” T’Val asked.

“Well, I don’t know, kids sometimes develop crushes on older people they’re surrounded by.” Jim explained, his cheeks flushing red. Man, that _really_ was embarrassing.

“Crushes?” T’Val repeated.

“Affections.”

“Is this common of Human children?”

“Yeah.” Jim sniffed. “I once had a babysitter growing up and I was in love with her.”

T’Val stared at Jim for a long moment. 

“I wasn’t really. I just liked that she ran fast.” He explained.

T’Val continued to stare at Jim in silence, then announced, “I believe there remains much for me to learn about Human culture.”

“Yeah.” Jim sighed. He had no idea his species were so weird.


	9. Chapter 9

T’Val had just returned to her room to review her notes on today’s lesson when Jim took Spock aside to have a talk with him.

“Hey, so I was thinking of having T’Val come visit my apartment for a lesson.” Spock immediately stiffened, and Jim had to quickly rewind. “Not for anything weird! Just, you know, so she can experience different places and ask about them. I just thought it’d be good for her to get out and experience a variety of stuff, and also…” He paused.

Spock tilted his head, which made him appear inquisitive.

Jim sighed. “My roommate, he has a daughter. But he went through a shaky divorce a few months back so he doesn’t get to see her very often. He helped raise her since she was a baby, and he knows exactly what kids like to do. I thought it could be good to have T’Val interact with someone who actually knows what they’re doing when it comes to raising a kid.”

The obvious ‘because we clearly don’t’ went unvoiced.

A heavy silence fell over the two of them. Spock looked to be deep in thought, and all Jim could really do was wait.

He’d decided to leave out the little fact that his roommate was a doctor, or that he was called Bones, because he was pretty sure Spock would recognise the name. With the way the Vulcan had shut down the last time Jim had brought up his doctor friend, he thought it was best to leave out the truth a little.

“I will consider it.” Spock said eventually.

“Thanks, man. That’s all I ask for.” Jim smiled gratefully.

He walked to the door and was just about to put on his shoes when he hesitated. Jim fiddled with the strap of his shoulder bag, biting his lip before returning back into the living room.

“Hey, Spock?” He called.

“Yes, Jim?” Came Spock’s voice from the kitchen.

“Has T’Val got any holos of her family?”

There was a brief silence before Jim heard the sound of feet padding across the floor. Spock appeared at the kitchen entrance. “She does.”

Jim bit his lips, then asked uncertainly. “Could I… could I see them?”

“Why do you wish to see them?” Spock asked slowly.

Jim shrugged. “I’d just like to know some more about her. She’s very tight-lipped about certain things. I’ve not asked her about her family yet, but I imagine she’d be the same about them.”

Spock stared at him. “Perhaps it would be unwise to access T’Val’s history without her knowledge.”

Jim shook his head. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry. I was just curious, is all. A Human vice.” He smiled crookedly.

Jim went back to the door, and was just reaching for his shoes when Spock spoke.

“Jim.” Jim looked up and saw Spock stood at the end of the hallway. “Come with me, please.” He said, then disappeared into his room, leaving the door open. Jim looked after him for just a second before dropping his shoes and hurriedly following after.

The room he stepped into was incredibly neat. Similar to the living room, it contained shelves with actual books on it, as well as a large double bed that looked so pristine Jim was sure it had fallen right out of a home furnishings catalogue. He saw a sleek desk pushed up against the corner of the room, and a nightstand along with a few plants. He really got some feng shui vibes from the place. 

Looking around, it suddenly hit Jim that for all the times he’d been over at Spock’s place, he’d never actually been in the guy’s room before. 

Spock approached him, looking down at something in his hands. “This holo belonged to my mother, which she then gifted to me.” 

He held up the item, which turned out to be a holo, and angled it towards Jim for him to look at. It showed a black woman in dreadlocks and a Vulcan man with a beard staring at the camera. The Vulcan wore dark brown robes, and the woman looked to be wearing what Jim assumed must be a traditional Japanese kimono. They both looked very neat and put-together. 

“T’Val’s mother was adopted as a child from Egypt by a Japanese couple.” Spock explained. “She grew up in the district of Saitama, and knew little of her birth country.”

Jim nodded as he listened. That was certainly interesting. Despite the huge globalisation that swept Earth, Japan was still one of the countries where the majority of the population was homogeneous. They had become a lot more multicultural these past centuries, what with their foreign population increasing with about 23%, but it was still behind in cultural integration when compared to other Earth islands. Jim was pretty sure the only other islands that had more of a homogenous population than Japan were the few in Micronesia and certain islands off the coast of Africa.

T’Val’s mother must have grown up feeling like an outsider in her own country. It was no wonder she could fall in love with and marry a Vulcan, someone from a completely different planet. Jim thought that from what he knew about Japan and Vulcan, the cultures seemed to have quite a few similarities. Punctuality, cleanliness, and a close connection to their societies being just a few.

He looked at the picture some more, taking in the woman’s eyes squinting at the photographer as her lips tilted up in a smile, her white teeth on display. She looked incredibly beautiful.

“Thank you.” He told Spock, nodding at the holo.

Spock went to put the holo away, and Jim took the opportunity to have a quick gander around the room. It really was quite nice. It made Jim consider cleaning up his room a bit, but it was an organised clutter at the moment and he didn’t want to mess up his system. He spotted a holo on Spock’s nightstand, and could vaguely make out people in it.

“Is that of T’Val’s parents too?” He asked, pointing at the holo. Before Spock could respond with anything, Jim approached the holo. 

It showed a strict-looking Vulcan man dressed in thick, brown robes, his hair sporting streaks of white along the brown. Next to him stood a lady in similar robes but with her thick grey, hair styled heavily atop of her head. She was clearly Human, because she was smiling softly at the photo, the tops of her cheeks coloured pink. The woman was holding a tiny chubby-faced kid in her arms, unfortunate bowl haircut in place and very thin slanted eyebrows.

“That’s you!” Jim exclaimed gleefully, looking back at Spock. The man was stood stock-still, probably from shock. ”Oh my God,” he laughed. “You were so adorable!”

Spock shifted where stood, looking slightly uncomfortable. Jim peered closer at the holo once more, trying to get in every detail. If that was Spock, that meant that the adults in the photo had to be Spock’s parents. Jim couldn’t believe it. Spock had a holo of his family openly on display on his nightstand. It was so very… Human.

Jim suddenly recalled what T’Val had told him about Spock. He turned to the guy, grinning. “I just remembered you’re half Canadian.” It wasn’t a bad thing, it was just kind of hilarious. Spock’s mom was from up north, just past the border. He felt so alien it was difficult for Jim to imagine the guy had roots on Earth. “Where in Canada was your mom from?”

“She was from Winnipeg.” Spock admitted. 

“Very multicultural.” Jim commented.

Spock nodded. “Indeed. Her father was indigenous to the land, and her mother was of French and Scottish descent.”

“That’s cool. I’m a whole mix of white nationalities.” Jim announced, straightening himself up. “Got some Irish, some Scottish, German, even Swedish. It’s damn near impossible to find someone on Earth who isn’t mixed race anymore.” He said, putting air quotes around the word ‘race’.

“I have noticed that Earth prides itself on being an infinitely diverse race.”

“That’s what you Vulcans strive for, isn’t it? IDIC?” Infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Jim may have delved a bit deeper into his readings on Vulcans.

Spock didn’t look to appear impressed by Jim’s cultural knowledge. “That is indeed what Vulcans claim, but they do not always follow it.” He explained calmly. “For a race that preaches diversity, it is entirely reluctant to change its homogeneity.”

“Must’ve been tough for you.” Jim commented. “Tough for T’Val too, you can tell. Actually just for anyone who was mixed race it must’ve been shit growing up there.”

“Vulcan has its flaws, but it also has its advantages.”

“Probably.” Jim assented. “But still, I would never be able to grow up there.”

“I am inclined to agree.”

Jim quirked a grin. “It’s just… keeping my emotions bottled up like that, I don’t know how I’d ever manage. It’d drive me fucking insane. I’d be like an emotional Molotov cocktail waiting to explode. I have no idea how T’Val’s mom managed. Or yours, for that matter.”

“My mother… had a most strenuous experience when she first arrived.” Spock admitted.

Jim raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“The switch from living on Earth to Vulcan was difficult. There were often times where she would shut herself in the house on days on end as she could not cope with the society she lived in. She thought the Vulcan culture was too unemotional and removed from ethics. My mother did not grow up being able to assess a situation from an unbiased perspective, and so she was easily moved by anger when what she considered to be morally reprehensible subjects were discussed, and everyone else remained calm. However, she claims my father’s support and love helped her adapt.”

Jim’s mind flashed back to one of his earlier meetings with Spock where he’d commented on the guy’s race, and man, did he feel like a right ass. He already was an ass when he used it as ammunition in a fight, but he feels like an even bigger one now that he knows what the struggles of growing up mixed race on Vulcan was like. That kind of toxic environment and behaviour towards someone of mixed heritage was sickening. Jim felt unease crawling over his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Did she ever say why they didn’t raise you outside Vulcan?”

“Due to my father’s work we were unable to settle elsewhere.”

“What does your dad do?” 

“My father is the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth. He facilitates diplomatic relations between the two planets.”

Jim’s eyes widened in shock. “Your dad is S’chn T’gai Sarek?!”

A light frown marred Spock’s face. “Please do not attempt pronouncing my father’s name again.”

“Holy shit.” Jim breathed.

 _Holy. Shit._ He couldn’t believe it! Jim’s dad was fucking Sarek of Vulcan, the motherfucker who helped put together the one and only peaceful meeting between Romulans and the Federation about adhering to neutral zones. Shockingly, it had been a success, and Sarek had been hailed for his diplomatic abilities in organising such a peaceful gathering.

They’d learnt about it in Jim’s class when on the subject of proper diplomacy, and safe to say Jim had been impressed. The news and Starfleet at the time had apparently commended Sarek for his peaceful methods of negotiating, but Jim was certain that anyone who could draw Romulans into a room to ‘talk’ must be one tough son of a bitch. Suddenly Spock was a hundred times cooler than before.

“I knew I recognised your name!” He exclaimed. Spock’s eyebrow rose, which Jim had learnt indicated the equivalent of a question mark. “On the door of your building! It looked familiar the first time I buzzed it, but I could never put my finger on it.”

Spock didn’t look as if he had any particularly strong feelings about Jim’s revelation. “Now you know.” Spock offered.

“Now I know…” Jim agreed, bright-eyed. “What was it like growing up in a political household?”

“Everyone in my nuclear family had similar opinions on politics.”

“But like did your dad ever bring his work home? Did he talk about it at the dinner table, stuff like that?”

“Occasionally he would share an anecdote about his work, but as most of it was confidential we knew little.”

“Or maybe you were too young for him to discuss it in front of you.” Jim teased.

“I believe my mother felt it was appropriate to hide certain subjects from me until I was older. My father humoured her until after my _kahs-wan_.”

Jim frowned. “What’s that?”

“ _Kahs-wan_ is a Vulcan maturity test we all must undergo. I would prefer not to speak of it further.” Jim could see Spock begin to shut down, and not wanting a repeat of the doctor issue decided to change subjects.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Jim asked, “So what was it like growing up in a mixed race household? I mean, your parents are from completely difference planets.” 

“It was a clash of cultures, and I was fortunate enough to experience them both.” 

“What a diplomatic answer, Spock.” Jim grinned wryly. 

“I am after all a diplomat’s son.” 

Jim grinned at Spock, then chuckled lowly. “I just realised what it’s like to be T’Val during one of our lessons. It sure is fun to ask questions.” 

“Curiosity is indeed a trait that should be encouraged.” Spock agreed. 


	10. Chapter 10

Jim packed up his PADD, having just finished his last class of the day. The chatter of students echoed all around him, with the noise of everyone shuffling to get out of the lecture hall rivalling that. Jim followed the rush of students as they spilled out into the hallway and headed in different directions.

“Jim.” A voice suddenly said by his ear. Jim jumped back, knocking into a few other students.

“ _Jesus!_ ” He gasped, grabbing at his chest. Spock stared at him. “What’re you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”

Spock quirked an eyebrow. “That was not my intention.”

“That wasn’t your intention…” Jim grumbled. He sighed and turned around to quickly apologise to the students he’d knocked into. They nodded in return, accepting his apology though they looked disgruntled. Great. Jim ran his hand through his hair, then approached Spock. “What do you want, man?”

“I wish to speak with you.”

“Uh-huh, and how did you know I’d be here?”

“I looked up your schedule on the academy’s database. Now please follow me.”

“That’s not creepy at all.” Deadpanned Jim, but still followed after Spock as he led them away from the lecture hall.

They weaved through the masses of cadets, all of them having been let out of their classes at the same time. They were just making their way around the canteen area when a cadet with flaming red hair approached them.

“Professor Spock,” They said, causing the Vulcan to stop in his tracks. “I had a few questions regarding our coursework 2.”

“If you have any inquiries feel free to visit me during my office hours, Cadet Moretti.”

Jim frowned. “Come on, Spock, they’re already here, just answer their questions quickly.”

Cadet Moretti smiled brightly at Jim, and he returned it with one of his own. Spock seemed to hesitate for just a moment before nodding once.

“Very well. What do you wish to know about the coursework 2?”

Cadet Moretti straightened up slightly, and a blue blush stained their cheeks. “Um, yeah, how many references do you think would be a good amount to use?”

“It depends entirely on your subject, but I deem at least ten references would be appropriate.” Spock answered calmly.

“And um, what type of references should they be?” The cadet asked, shifting from foot to foot. Jim peered at them and saw that their gaze was entirely focused on Spock as he spoke. It was as if he wasn’t even there, just a shadow in the background.

“Preferably academic journals or books, paper or electronic. However, I will accept news articles if they are from a reliable source.”

Jim could see the cadet was growing more flustered, and knew they were grasping at ways to keep the conversation going further when they asked, “Right, and um, what format should it be in?”

Spock quirked an eyebrow. “It should be in Harvard format, as it is for all coursework at the academy.”

Cadet Moretti flushed a deeper blue. “Right, forgot about that.” 

“Have I sufficiently answered your questions, Cadet?” Spock asked.

“Yes, sir, you have.” Cadet Moretti answered, smiling.

Spock inclined his head at them and left, causing Jim to offer the cadet his own goodbyes before scurrying after the guy.

“Who was that?” He asked Spock, avoiding an oncoming cadet who rushed past with a cup of coffee.

“A student.”

“Of yours?” Jim asked, falling into step with the guy.

“Affirmative.”

“Looked like they wanted to be more than that.” Jim commented, letting a hint of mirth lace his voice.

“That will never be.” Spock said firmly.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you of all people would have such a strong admirer.” Jim chuckled.

Spock suddenly turned to look at him. “Do you deem me unattractive, Jim?”

Jim stopped short, not expecting that question. “I… no. I just meant that, you know, you don’t seem very receptive to romantic advances. Thought that would put a lot of people off trying.”

“I believed similarly, but Humans are indeed strange creatures.” Spock agreed, returning on his path to wherever they were headed.

A few moments later they arrived at a door in the teacher’s section of the academy, and Jim saw that it was Spock’s office by the nameplate embezzled on the door. Spock opened the door and ushered Jim inside, shutting the door behind them and rounding his desk.

Jim stood where he was by the door, suspicious as to why they had come here. He looked around the room, noting there was nothing peculiar about it that separated it from a regular office. Spock took a seat and nodded at the empty chair across from him.

“If you would, please.”

Jim slowly walked up to the chair and sat down, still sceptical. He wondered if he was in trouble. Could Spock discipline him if he wasn’t actually in any of his classes? Was he allowed to punish Jim because of something that happened outside of the academy? He didn’t think so.

“Jim.” Spock started, then paused. 

Jim quirked an eyebrow. “Me?”

Spock seemed to gather himself, then said, “Previously in the week, I followed your advice on allowing T’Val to experience Human emotions in order to help her acclimatise to Earth. I decided to attempt a mind meld with her where she could gain access to her emotions. It… did not go well.” He finished awkwardly.

Jim perked up. Now this was curious.

“How come?” He asked. “Actually, wait, what’s a mind meld?”

“It is when two beings meld minds.”

“…Right.” Captain Obvious here.

“I believe the failure of the meld was due to my inability to partake in the activity properly, and this inconvenienced T’Val’s efforts to concentrate.” Spock explained.

Jim frowned, going over the guy’s words in his head. Honestly, he was impressed Spock decided to actually take his advice to heart and try and help T’Val with handling her emotions. 

“First off, I’m really proud of you for trying that, Spock. I know it can’t have been easy for you, but you gave it a go. That’s real good, man.” 

Spock didn’t look to be appeased by his compliment. Jim rubbed at his jaw and tried to think of a way he could help.

He came up empty, and shrugged. “I’m sorry, Spock. The only way I can see this session ending up successful is if you experience your emotional boundaries together with T’Val. Since you too are half-Human, she probably sees you as someone to learn from.”

“I am not… entirely comfortable with your suggestion.” If Jim had to guess, he’d say Spock sounded pained just then.

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I really do think this is the best option.” 

Spock looked contemplative, and a hush fell over them. 

“You know,” Jim began after a moment. “There was this Old Earth experiment done by a psychologist called Albert Bandura, and it focused on behaviour in young Human children. Like, how they learn things and pick on mannerisms, things like that. He found in his study that children learn from observation, and that they pick up more on behaviour if the person they are observing is like them. So the girls were more likely to repeat the behaviour if their ‘teacher’ was female, and the same applied for the boys but with a male ‘teacher’.”

“That is fascinating.” Spock commented.

“I could send you the study if you want. Could be helpful to read through the whole thing.” Jim offered. He was sure there were some bits he’d forgotten from the study since it had been a while since he read through it. Besides, it was probably best for Spock to read it himself.

“That would be appreciated.” 

Jim smiled exasperatedly, and fished his comm out of his trouser pocket. “You know, there are ways you can say ‘thank you’ without using as many words.”

Spock quirked a brow, and Jim shook his head fondly. He held out his comm to the man. “This is my number.” 

Spock brought out his own communicator and inputted the numbers into this device. In actuality it wasn’t necessary for him to get Jim’s number. Spock was entirely capable of finding the study mentioned on his own via a quick online search, however he thought justified that it wouldn’t hurt to have Jim’s number for future inquiries.

*

Okay, so the events from earlier in the week had been niggling at the back of Jim’s mind. Ever since Spock asked Jim if he didn’t think he was attractive, he'd started _taking notice_ , and they were things he would never admit aloud to anyone, not even Bones. 

… _especially_ not Bones.

For example, the guy’s hair: it was sleek, dark and stereotypical of Vulcans, not like T’Val’s tight head of curls. Oddly enough it suited him, and when Jim tried to imagine the guy in a hairstyle other than his natural one, he felt himself scrunch up his nose at the image. There was also the shape of his eyebrows, making him kind of look perpetually angry. But again, it somehow suited Spock. And honestly, despite being a dork and kind of hellish to deal with (more so early on in their acquaintance than now, but still), the guy actually looked kinda attractive.

He also wasn’t that much of an asshole anymore which might have helped Jim’s impression of him, and if he thought about it, Jim could see where he was coming from when they had first met. If some stranger kept talking to the kid Jim was taking care of, he’d definitely have some suspicions about them.

He sighed and dropped his head onto his desk.

Why did he have to notice this now?

“Jim Kirk, are you present?”

“Hm?” Right, T’Val. “Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” Jim said, pulling himself out of his thoughts.

“A dangerous pastime.” T’Val commented.

Jim lifted his head and grinned at her. “Little brat.”

He had brought T’Val to his _Cultural Ethics_ lecture that day, citing that she needed to experience some higher intellectual stimuli as an excuse. It had taken a long time to convince Spock, but after much effort on Jim and T’Val’s part they were granted permission. Jim thought he was getting much better at arguing with Spock and winning, and he was pretty sure he could convince the guy to allow T’Val to visit more educational places.

A museum would be cool, or a trip to the National Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C.; Bones had said it was great and Joanna apparently loved it. It was a good idea because Jim loves space (obviously), and T’Val was a kid who loved learning things. It’d be a great outing for the two of them, and they could combine it with a history lesson of all the historical monuments around the city.

Professor Riba’s voice droned through the room, not helping in keeping Jim or anyone else in the room in focusing on what was being taught. Even though Jim had managed to convince Spock to allow T’Val to attend a lecture with him, in all honesty his _Cultural Ethics_ wasn’t the best module. It was quite a drag actually, but it was the day Spock allowed for since they apparently finished at the same time. It was a shame that the class wasn’t more engaging, because the subject was incredibly fascinating. But their current lecturer, professor Riba, didn’t allow for much discussion during the tutorials as he tended to be the one constantly speaking.

“This professor has certain faults in their teaching.” T’Val commented.

“Yeah, he’s definitely the weaker lecturer in this module. We’re taught by two professors; one of them is Riba here, and the second one is Professor Fukinara. She’s of Japanese descent, you know.” Jim whispered back.

T’Val perked up a little. “I would have wished for her to be present in Professor Riba’s stead.”

“Me too, kid.” Jim sighed as Professor Riba started in on another one of his rants. “Me too.”

The professor’s voice floated through the room, his easy voice causing Jim to slump further down in his seat. “And due to the Baborians history of having a small population which has continued on to today, they’ve taken to reproducing by sleeping with family members ...which is really wrong.” He chuckled, and that garnered a few laughs from the class.

“That is inaccurate.”

Professor Riba frowned and looked across the lecture hall. “Who said that?”

“I did.” 

The professor browsed the rows of cadets until his gaze fell on the child. His eyes widened as he took her in.

“You?” He asked, shocked.

“Me.” T’Val affirmed, and Jim had to twist his lips so as to not laugh.

“Are you in my class?” He asked in disbelief.

“Affirmative.”

Jim snickered. “Liar.”

“I am currently in your class.” T’Val said, louder. 

The entire lecture hall seemed to suddenly wake up, people following the exchange with riveted looks. There were murmurs and curious glances shot at T’Val, and Jim made sure to smile back at them. If any of them dared start a fight with his girl he was going to make them pay dearly.

“It is not wrong for Baborians to copulate with their families as it is part of their culture and lifestyle. They have adapted through centuries of evolution to reach this point, and the only reason you find it to be wrong is because it is different from yours.” T’Val explained loudly.

“Okay, little girl, what you’re trying to defend here is incest.” Riba said, looking smarmy. Jim could feel T’Val tensing up at being referred to as ‘little girl’. He knew damn well she didn’t like the term ‘little girl’; she was a ‘little lady’.

“It is how they have evolved, as their population have always been low, which you explained not moments ago. It is necessary for them to copulate with one another in order to reproduce, because if they did not their species would die out. This ability to reproduce without physical and biological consequences is something Humans are incapable of.”

Someone behind her snorted. “Right, because the possibility of ‘biological consequences’ is the only reason family members don’t fuck.”

“Hey!” Jim barked, throwing them a harsh stare. “No cussing, man. She’s a kid.”

“It is the only reason.” T’Val confirmed, and ploughed on. “Examples of such instances in Human history include figures such as the Egyptian pharaoh from the 18th dynasty, Tutankhamun. Due to inbreeding in the family, he was born with several physical disabilities, such as a mild case of scoliosis, and a deformation in his foot caused by necrosis of bone tissue. There is also evidence in European royalty, where the families would reproduce with their cousins due to their wish to keep the bloodline royal and clean. It was only after they threw away that notion that the family members became less ill. You only think the act of familial copulation to be disgusting because for a Human it is wrong and taboo. You cannot compare all of the cultures of the galaxy to Humans’, as it is a limited perspective. You are not the sole race in the universe.”

During T’Val’s explanation, the professor had steadily been growing more irritated, and it was evident by the way he’d taken to tightly crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at her.

“Alright, kid, that’s cute. Now sit back down and let me finish teaching my class.” He said tersely, trying to dismiss T’Val’s words. They had probably hit a sore spot.

“To ignore such perspectives would be xenophobic and culturally ignorant, which I find difficult to believe as this is a _Cultural Ethics_ class.” T’Val announced loudly, getting the final word in.

Jim saw how people were turning to their classmates, whispering and nodding along with amused looks on their faces. T’Val was leaving an impression it seemed, but more importantly she was dragging the professor through the mud. The man was looking at T’Val with a miffed expression, probably because he got openly bested by a kid in his lecture.

Jim held back a laugh and offered, “She is right, Professor.”

Somewhere in the lecture hall someone yelled out, “How do you like them apples?!”

The class erupted into laughter, not a single one of them noticing Riba flushing from embarrassment. Jim pulled the sleeve of his uniform over his hand and turned to T’Val.

“Come on, high-five!” He exclaimed cheerily.

T’Val stared at Jim’s covered hand, then gently placed the palm of her hand against his.

“High-five.” 

*

The first thing Jim did when they were let out of the lecture hall was message Spock.

_[To: Spock]  
Did you know T’Val’s become a celebrity at the academy?_

A few minutes later he received a reply.

_[From: Spock]  
Indeed. Word travels fast. My colleague recently approached me and informed me that a Vulcan had discredited professor Riba’s ability to remain unbiased in his lecture. As I was occupied grading papers in my office, I surmised that the only other possible candidate could be T’Val._

Jim grinned. Whoever said Vulcans were emotionless robots were wrong, they had sass in buckets.

*

Jim knocked on Spock’s office door, and when the man called for him to ‘enter’, opened the door and ushered T’Val through first. 

“Hey,” He grinned at Spock. “Here’s today’s celebrity.”

“I have heard of your endeavours.” Spock said, looking to T’Val.

Her lips curled up slightly. “The professor was teaching unjust information to their class, and so I deemed it appropriate to correct them.”

“In front of the entire class, T’Val?” Spock asked with a raised brow.

“Time was of the essence.” T’Val argued, and Jim chuckled at the response.

“She made the lecturer look like a damn fool. It was beautiful.” He said, and dropped a kiss atop of her head.

“She certainly has an affinity for debate.” Spock observed.

The words gave Jim a sudden idea. The Debate Society. Fucking yes.

He grinned and turned to ask Spock if he could take T’Val to a meeting, but before he could get a word out the guy immediately said, “No.”

Jim frowned. “I haven’t even said anything yet.”

Spock levelled him with a look. “No.”


	11. Chapter 11

Spock and T’Val were sat opposite each other on their respective mats, eyes locked on one another.

Spock had called forth a second attempt at a mind meld, and had assured T’Val that he would actively participate this time around in order to help her gain proper access to her emotions. She seemed hesitant at his suggestion, the disastrous memory of their last meld still clear in her mind. However, Spock’s surety in himself and determination swayed her over, and she accepted. 

They had pre-determined a safe word in case the mind meld got too intense and they wished to end it, and Spock made sure T’Val understood that she were to use it if she felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable with how the meld was progressing.

At T’Val’s affirmation, Spock asked, “Are you prepared?”

“I am.” She replied. 

“Very well. Let us begin.” Spock reached out and gently placed his fingers on T’Val’s meld points. Letting his eyes slip shut, he murmured, “My mind to your mind…”

Spock was directly transferred into his mind, a large room full of rows and rows and rows of archives stretching far over his head. He had worked on this room from the moment he had been taught how to store things in his mind, delicately arranging and re-arranging the archives whenever he learnt something new. 

Spock liked keeping his thoughts tightly linked to his memories, and much like how a tree grew its leaves and kept them attached to its branches, he kept the feelings and thoughts created by a memory or situation in the same file cabinet. 

Spock slowly ambled around the room, searching for a particular memory. He had a set goal in sight, and that was to experience emotions. No matter how uncomfortable it made him feel, he would force himself to, and he so he chose the one he had the fondest memory of: affection.

Thanks to his mother Spock had become largely familiar with the emotion. It had been a strong presence during his childhood, acting very much like an anchor when he was experiencing suffering at the hands of his peers, and even now in adulthood Spock cherished the emotion. It was a warm, soft feeling, not sharp like pain, or heavy like sorrow. 

When Spock neared one of the file cabinets, he could feel the echoes of the memories reach out to him, beckoning him forth. He approached the cabinet, recognising it as one of the affectionate memories he harboured in his mind. He opened the file drawer and felt the strength of the feeling rush through his body. Affection was strong and powerful, and he had to focus to get a good grasp of the emotion. 

Spock removed the file from the drawer before gently shutting it again. In his hands was the source of the affection, the emotion he held most dear and which had elicited the most Human reactions in him. This was the emotion he would need to share with T’Val.

Spock felt suddenly uncomfortable with the idea. Once he handed the file over to her, she would gain not only access to his deep memories, but to the feelings which accompanied them. His feelings. As Spock had constantly denied that he was affected by nor felt emotions, this would be a large secret revealed. T’Val would know that he felt things as strongly as any other Human, and she would see that even after following the Vulcan principles his control over his emotions were still poorer than that of other members of his race.

Spock hesitated and looked down at the file. He tried to remind himself that his unease was not of importance in this situation; T’Val was. T’Val and her ability to access her emotions, to learn how to handle them better and perhaps create a stronger mental balance. He remembered Jim’s word of acting through seen behaviour, and steeled himself. If T’Val needed to learn from observation, he would have to push his limits and step out of his comfort zone.

Taking the file with him, Spock transferred himself to the neutral zone he had created. T’Val was already present.

_Spock, I am glad you have arrived._

_I apologise for the delay, I was searching for a specific memory._

T’Val nodded in understanding. Before Spock could dwell on it any further, he held out the file to her.

_This is the emotion that will be the focus of our meld._

T’Val accepted the file with gratefulness, the feeling whispering through the air. The item was light in her hands, and Spock could feel she was curious as to its contents. T’Val slowly opened it up to the first page, and felt the beginnings of the emotion seep through her fingertips as she read.

The memory was of an eleven year old Spock sat on the couch with his mother, draped over her lap and half-dozing as she gently scratched her nails down his back. Spock recalled the memory as being a soft and relaxed one, his mother happily humming as her attention was divided between scratching Spock’s back and the electronic book in her hand. He did not often partake in such physical acts, but every time he did it had been a pleasant experience.

He could feel T’Val cautiously creeping through the memory, lingering at certain places and gently prodding at it in an attempt to soak up the affection. Once she finished fully exploring, T’Val carefully shut the file.

_Thank you, Spock._

_Are you able to access the affections you keep stored in your mind?_

T’Val hesitated briefly, then nodded. Uncertainty dripped over Spock like light raindrops during spring showers.

_I will try._

Spock had felt she was unsure about how to go about the act, and having already shared one of his precious memories as well as witnessing T’Val’s reaction to it, he deemed it fitting to access another one to help her along.

_I will fetch another one of my memories in order to aid you._

A strong burst of gratefulness swept through the air.

_Thank you, Spock._

T’Val and Spock returned to their respective minds, seeking appropriate memories to be used in their current exercise. After a moment they both re-appeared in the neutral zone. Spock had another file in his hands, and he held it out to T’Val who swiftly accepted it.

_I have not yet learned how to extract memories, therefore you would need to access my mind._

_Very well._

T’Val led Spock out of the neutral zone, taking him through to her mind and into her hallways of doors. Spock looked around, taking in how she had arranged her memories and feelings. It was different from his own, much larger and separated by some distances between the doors, but perhaps for T’Val it was preferable.

T’Val approached one of the doors and placed her hand on it, gently pushing it open.

_This is the memory I wish to share with you._

Spock neared the door, and T’Val stepped back, allowing him entrance inside. Spock took three steps into the room before he came to a sudden stop as he took in the image before him.

A young T’Val, perhaps four years of age, was sat cross-legged on the floor, facing forward as her mother sat behind her. Her mother was working her way across T’Val’s hair, tightly braiding it close to her scalp and softly speaking to her daughter. It wasn’t a language Spock recognised, and so he surmised it must have been Japanese.

Spock watched as T’Val patiently sat in place, her mother braiding her hair and occasionally running her tiny hands over the bits that had already been done. He could feel the affection in the room like heat given off by a radiator, slowly warming him up as he continued to watch the scene before him.

It was interesting to note that the memory T’Val had chosen was, like Spock, focussed on her mother. He thought that perhaps it was due to the Human emotions being best transferred through Humans, but he wasn’t certain.

After a few moments of basking in the warmth of the memory, Spock walked back towards the door he came through and exited the scene. Outside T’Val was waiting for him, the hallway stiff with traces of worry. Once he shut the door behind himself she handed him back his file.

_Thank you._

Spock accepted the file.

_Thank you, T’Val. Your memory is a dear one, and I am pleased at your ability to access such a fond emotion._

Spock felt the tension in the air ease slightly.

_Thank you._

_T’Val, I wish to see more of your memories._

Once more, the tension heightened, but it wasn’t as severe as before. T’Val nodded, and took the time to carefully lead Spock through the hallway and show him a few of her most coveted memories. In return, Spock shared some of his own with her.

Spock saw memories of T’Val with her father, reading through a Japanese children’s book as her mother laughed at the way her father was struggling with reading the writing. He saw her happiness in trying a rare Vulcan fruit her parents rarely indulged in buying, but which T’Val held a deep fondness for, and he saw every single animal she had petted since her arrival on Earth. The last memories especially elicited feelings of affection in Spock, and he created a file in his archives that would hold this feeling.

In return he showed T’Val his memories of his childhood sehlat, I-Chaya, and of how the animal would curl around Spock when he fell asleep, providing him with more warmth than his duvet did. He showed her his many trips to Canada where they visited his family, and his unbound curiosity and excitement when confronted with the Human part of his family.

Together the two of them explored the affections associated with each memory, soaking in the emotion the way a flower soaks up sunlight. They could feel the warmth spreading through their bodies like a fire, reaching all the way out to their fingertips.

Spock wasn’t sure how long they went about bathing in each other’s feelings of affection, but after the next few memories he decided to end the exercise and focus on something else. 

_T’Val._

_Yes, Spock?_

_We are both familiar with receiving affections, much in thanks to our mothers. However, I wish for us to attempt to access memories where we are the ones giving affection._

Spock felt T’Val’s apprehension hanging heaving in the air.

_Do you wish to stop?_

There was a brief flash of determination.

_No._

Splitting once more, T’Val and Spock spent some time browsing their minds, carefully hand-picking out memories where they were the ones who gave out affection. Once done, T’Val made her way to the neutral zone where she patiently awaited Spock’s arrival. He appeared a few moments later, and surprise wooshed through the landscape as T’Val took him in, taking special note of the armful of files he held.

_That is a lot of memories._

_It seems I have a lot of affection to give._

A feeling of acceptance floated through the air. 

_Me too._

Spock gingerly handed the files over to T’Val. She could not support them all, and so he was forced to hold some of them himself as she proceeded to look through the ones she had.

Spock’s memories consisted mainly of his childhood with his parents, often giving them affection in return for what they gave him. His memories also focussed on his times with I-Chaya when they would play with one another, and more recently on T’Val and her existence in his life. 

At the last memory T’Val perked up, and Spock felt warmth sizzling in the air. She handed the files back to Spock, but denied the remaining ones he held out to her.

_Thank you, Spock. I am pleased to find I am a source of your affection._

A soft wind blew through the landscape, and Spock knew it was his own embarrassment he had failed to contain.

_I wish to take you to my memories now._

Once more Spock followed T’Val into her mind, careful to tread gently and not upset her order. Again T’Val took Spock to a series of doors, leading him into each one and allowing him the time to soak in the memory before exiting and moving on to the next one.

T’Val’s memories too focused mainly on her parents, with high bursts of affection towards her mother whenever she displayed a trait that was particularly Human. It seemed T’Val had a fondness for her Human side, as she would feel strong affection for her father whenever he would indulge in Human acts, such as pecking her on the forehead or hugging her. It was an interesting aspect of T’Val Spock had not realised existed, and he was grateful she trusted him enough to reveal it.

Her other memories unsurprisingly focused on the animals she had seen on Earth, and that affection heightened whenever she was allowed to pet them. Much more surprisingly however, was that she had memories where she displayed affection towards Jim, the emotion coming out more frequently the more time they spent together. Spock would have been worried had he not felt that there was no romantic interest whatsoever in the man, but only a deep appreciation for him.

The last few memories shocked Spock the most, as they contained affections associated with himself. He could feel T’Val’s appreciation with Spock for taking her into his home, how she felt comfortable that he too was half-Human and didn’t judge her Human heritage, and the means he had gone to in order to help her learn more about Human culture.

Surprise lashed through the air at the memories. 

_You are surprised._

_I had not thought I would elicit such emotions in another._

Spock felt a sudden surge of affection in the air, hanging heavy over him like a thick blanket. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned to see another door materialise in the hallway. 

T’Val had added this memory to her mind.

_What emotion is held behind the newly created door?_

Embarrassment trickled through the air.

_Affection._

T’Val had added another door in her mind. Another affectionate memory.

It was odd, being at the receiving end of affection while giving it to someone who he did not have a mental link with. Spock often felt that emotion when partaking in mind melds with his mother, but since they had grown up together and Spock had been keenly aware she had always loved him, the experience was a familiar one in association with her.

T’Val, however, was technically a stranger to his mind, and having the first touch be an overwhelmingly warm and positive one was fascinating.

Eventually Spock decided that they had partaken in the meld for long enough, and he gently broke it. Both he and T’Val both came out of it slowly, like a fire dying down to its last sparks.

Spock opened his eyes. He saw T’Val still had hers shut, and waited for her to finish pulling out of the meld before removing his fingers from her meld points. 

“How do you feel?” He asked her.

“Very well.” T’Val sighed. She looked more relaxed and at ease than she did before they engaged in the meld.

“Do you wish to continue our sessions?” Spock inquired.

“Affirmative.” T’Val nodded.

Spock felt an irrational spike of warmth at her answer. 

*

T’Val had regularly continued with her lessons on Human culture with Jim, making sure to immediately retreat to her room once it was over in order to review the lesson. Usually Jim would leave right after, shutting the door behind him with a ‘click’ and leaving the apartment to its quiet. 

However, since a few lessons back T’Val had noted that Jim would extend his stay, often by three to five minutes, and lately up to ten or fifteen minutes. It was a peculiar development, and T’Val had decided to look further into the cause of this. 

What she had observed over the next few lessons was that Jim still very much focussed on T’Val’s education when it came to the learning programme, but once the lessons were over his attention would almost immediately shift to Spock. Her legal guardian had kept to his wish of staying present during the lessons whenever circumstances allowed it, and she noted that Jim would look back at him more often now in comparison to previous times.

It was peculiar, as both Spock and Jim had informed her early on of their distaste for one another, which had been a difficult barrier to overcome in getting them both to accept T’Val’s lessons with Jim. Now, however, they seemed to have fallen into some sort of communication that could most accurately be described as ‘being civil’.

The change in their attitudes towards each other was not unwelcome, but they were cause of concern for T’Val. Not because they were in any way negative, but because the shift in their relationship had clearly occurred while she was not present, which meant that they had been meeting outside of the lessons, which meant there was a certain set of data she would never be able to access.

It was frustrating as it could potentially skewer her current hypothesis, which was that the behaviour Jim was currently displaying was unusual of the average Human, indicating some underlying motive to his actions. Unless Humans regularly stood within the confines of another being’s personal space and leaned forward whenever they spoke, which from T’Val’s observations of Human culture along with her lessons with Jim, showed that no, they did not. The only Humans who did so were those who held a desire for the being in question, and with what T’Val had observed she could only conclude that Jim held romantic or sexual interests in Spock.

T’Val’s reaction to the results was nothing short of approval. Spock had struggled for a long time with finding a partner, and if he were to accept Jim as his bondmate it would remove most of his worries. Despite Spock’s insistence that he wished to focus his time on his work, T’Val knew that if a Vulcan did not find a bondmate the older they got it would be detrimental to their mind and mental balance.

It was also fortunate that T’Val knew of and cared for Jim, and she was absolutely positive that the man felt the same for her. It was one strong trait he and Spock shared, and she was appreciative of having two beings who cared for her so deeply. If Jim and Spock were to bond it would be the ideal outcome, and T’Val made sure to tell Jim this at their next meeting.

They had just concluded their latest lesson, and Jim was packing up his belongings when T’Val got his attention.

“Jim.”

“What’s up, little lady?” He asked, smiling at her. He’d taken to calling her variations of ‘Little Vulcan Lady’, since the actual title was quite a mouthful.

“I have observed you have shown an increased interest in Spock by 26%. I wish for you to know that I am entirely supportive of your endeavours to pursue my legal guardian, be it romantic or sexual, and wish you the best of luck.”

Having successfully translated her approval, T’Val headed to her room to review today’s notes, leaving a gobsmacked Jim to stare after her.


	12. Chapter 12

When Jim told Bones about the incident, his friend spent a good five minutes laughing himself to tears.

“Fucking unbelievable,” Bones cried, wiping at his eyes.

“How did she even…” Jim began, then shook his head.

“Aw man, you must be real bad at being subtle if an eight-year old can notice your boner for the guy.”

“But she’s a Vulcan eight-year old, so that makes her like thirty in Human years.” Jim reasoned weakly.

“No use denying it, Jim.” Bones hiccupped. “You got sussed out by a kid.”

Jim cursed under his breath, but he couldn’t stop the grin that stretched across his lips. That little incident had without a doubt been a shock to him, but every time he remembered it and the cool, collected manner in which T’Val had essentially given him the go ahead to go after Spock, he just couldn’t stop the amusement from bubbling up.

“Oh yes, it’s _so_ hilarious how I can’t keep my dick under control and a kid notices it. Not scarring at all.” Jim exaggerated, leaning back against the couch.

“I’d be feeling sorrier for you if you weren’t smiling.” Bones said, finally getting himself back under control.

Jim stared at his friend, then let out a sudden laugh. “She’s just… she’s something else.”

Bones nodded, rubbing at his nose. “You’ve honestly got to bring her over, Jim. I want to meet this lady who so elegantly called you out on your dumb crush.”

“It’s not a crush,” Jim murmured, feeling himself flush. “And I will, I just need to get Spock’s approval.”

“A great way to get his approval would be on your knees.” Bones suggested, waggling his eyebrows.

“Bones.” Jim shot him an unimpressed look, but it was ruined by the twitching of his lips.

“100% success rate, I’m telling you.”

“ _Bones_.” Jim sighed, forfeiting to the smile fighting its way onto his face.

“Besides, Joanna wants to meet her too now. She’s never met a Vulcan kid before.”

“I’m working on it, I want her to meet you guys as much as you guys do. Just make sure Jo knows she can’t touch T’Val or her ears at any cost, no matter how much she wants to.” Jim warned.

“Already given her the Vulcan sensitivity training, don’t worry.” Bones assured him, waving away his concern.

“Good. How is Jo, by the way?”

“She’s moved on from glitter and is now all about the caps on bottles.”

Jim frowned. “Caps on bottles?”

“Caps on bottles.” Bones confirmed.

“Okay… you wanna expand on that or…?” Jim offered, gesturing vaguely at his friend.

“Apparently Jocelyn put together a arts and crafts session with Jo, and one of the things they did was forge the caps of bottles into earrings. I don’t know why, Jo’s ears aren’t even pierced, and it’s not like Jocelyn will be wearing them to court.”

Jim grimaced at the mention of Bones’ ex-wife, and his friend caught the expression with a sigh. “I know you don’t like her, Jim—“

“She’s a cunt.”

“Hey!” Bones barked, and Jim sank further down in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” He apologised, not meaning it one bit. “That was out of order.”

There was a tense moment where Bones simply stared at Jim, but then let up. “Like I said… I know you don’t like her, but she is Jo’s mother, and she loves her.”

Jim barely held back his snort at the comment. He thought the only reason Jo still liked her mom so much was because she didn’t know what Jocelyn had pulled with the whole full custody thing, trying to tear her away from her dad. He wasn’t sure if Bones would ever tell his daughter that story when she was older, but he knew damn well Jocelyn wouldn’t since it would paint her as the bitch she was.

“I’m thinking of temporarily moving back in with her.” Bones revealed suddenly.

Jim immediately shot up in his seat. “Bones, _no_!”

The man sighed. “Jim—“

“No! Seriously, why would you?” Jim stressed, not believing his friend was even thinking about it. 

“Jim, trust me, there’s no way Jocelyn and I will get back together.” Bones assured him. “Neither she nor I want to.”

“But you did want it.” Jim argued, not at all placated by his friend’s words.

“Yeah, I _did_ , as in before. But not anymore.”

“Then why do you want to move out? Where did this idea even come from? I don’t understand.” Jim wailed.

“Oh my God, calm your tits, Jim.” The man grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I’m thinking of moving back in with Jocelyn— _temporarily_ ,” he stressed just in case Jim jumped to his own conclusions. “Because I’ve had no luck finding a room in this damn city.”

“But… you’re living here.” Jim faltered.

Bones looked to his friend, making sure he met his eyes. “Jim, know I really appreciate all you’ve done for me, especially during the time after the divorce, but I feel as if I’ve overstayed my welcome here.”

“Bullshit, you can stay as long as you want.” Jim objected.

“Not sure your roommate would say the same thing.” Bones drawled with a raised brow.

“Fuck Gary, he’s an asshole and never here anyway. You’re staying.” Jim said determinedly. He could see his friend was struggling to suppress a smirk. “What?” He huffed out.

“You really don’t do things by halves, do you?” Bones asked, voice laced with amusement.

Jim shrugged. “’ _Go hard or go home_ ’ is my motto.”

Bones let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Damn right it is.”

“So will you be staying?” Jim hedged. Bones pretended to think, simply to mess with Jim and push him to the edge of frenzy.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll stay a little longer.” He relented finally.

“Awesome!” Jim hooted, slapping his friend on the shoulder. Immediately Bones wondered whether he’d made the right decision or not. “God, man, don’t scare me like that! I genuinely thought you were going to leave me.”

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Jim.” Bones complained, rubbing at his shoulder.

“Do you even know who you’re talking to?” Jim asked with a raise brow.

Bones took a moment to think, then nodded. “True.”

Jim sighed with relief. “Man, I’m so glad you’re staying, because honestly, if you’d moved in with Jocelyn again I wouldn’t have visited you. Like, even once. This is much better, I mean all your stuff is here, you’re here, _I’m_ here. Would be dumb to separate it all.”

“Just because I’m staying for now doesn’t mean I’m going to stop looking for a room to rent, you do know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know.” Jim rolled his eyes. “And I promise I’ll re-double my efforts to help you find a place to live. There’s no way I’m having you move back in with she-who-must-not-be-named.”

“She’s not that bad, Jim.”

“Say what you want, but I’d rather be homeless than live under her roof.”

*

T’Val’s lesson with Jim had concluded ten minutes ago, but the man had stayed behind to talk to Spock about a recent book he had read.

“Yeah, they think they’ve managed to figure out _exactly_ where on the evolutionary ladder the Romulan and Vulcan ancestors split off into the two separate races, even claiming that they have physical evidence. It’s pretty dope, man.” Jim said, nodding.

“Fascinating.”

Yes, fascinating indeed. T’Val had noticed that it was not only Jim who had extended his stays at their apartment, but Spock who accepted his presence. It was not possible for Jim to remain once the lesson was over with if the resident of the apartment did not wish for him to, and so T’Val concluded that Spock must enjoy Jim’s company to some degree.

However, her guardian had not changed his behaviour towards Jim at all, displaying nothing more than a sense of familiarity between the two. T’Val could not gauge Spock’s opinion of Jim unless she got proper answers, and so she deemed that the best course of action would be to create a survey. She would create it herself, ensuring the answers allowed for proper qualitative and quantitative data to analyse, and have Spock fill it out.

T’Val had even done some further research on Human courting rituals, wanting to use sources outside of her lessons with Jim. She came upon such webpages as ‘ _Cosmopolitan_ ’ and ‘ _It’s All Shetastic!_ ’, which she thought could be described as being unstable sources at best. Instead T’Val delved into her most familiar type of research, academic articles and psychology studies, particularly those centred on Human biology and behaviour when it came to attraction, and found them to be much more valuable.

Spock was sat on the couch, reading through something on his PADD. He seemed calm and relaxed, and there had been no incidents earlier that day which could have caused him any frustration. T’Val deemed it the ideal moment to strike.

“Spock,” She began, sidling up to the couch. “Would you be willing to partake in a study of mine?”

Spock turned to look at her. “What is it for?”

“I am collecting research for my Human customs research.”

“Has Jim assigned you work?” Spock asked, surprised.

“Negative. I have decided to embark on this study of my own volition.”

“That is commendable.” Spock complimented.

“Thank you.”

“I am not opposed to partaking in your study.”

“Excellent. Now please answer the follow questions as honestly as you can. First off, how would you describe Jim Kirk’s natural odour?”

Spock lifted an eyebrow and stared at T’Val. She silently returned the stare with her own, waiting until Spock finally caved and answered, “Pleasant.”

T’Val typed the answer into her PADD. “When Jim is not present, do you at times think of him?”

“On occasion.” Spock admitted.

“Would you consider Jim to be an interesting character?”

“Indeed.”

“If you were out in public and saw Jim out too, would you approach him?”

“Why are all your questions centred around Jim?” Spock asked, curious.

“As he is the sole Human I have frequent contact with it is only logical that I use him as my point of reference.”

Spock nodded hesitantly. “Understood. I would approach Jim if I were to see him in public.”

T’Val ploughed on. “What aspects of Jim do you find baffling? Please pick no more than three.”

“Jim is a highly emotional being, and that emotionalism more often than not determines his actions. He also has a propensity for laughing at his own jokes, many of which I do not understand.”

“Is that all?”

“Jim also has a habit of jumping to conclusions.”

T’Val made note of Spock’s answers, then moved on to the next question. “What aspects of Jim do you find attractive? Again, please pick no more than three.”

“Jim is an incredibly aesthetically pleasing individual.” It was true. Spock wasn’t blind, he could see that Jim’s appearance attracted a lot of attention of romantic and sexual nature, and they were not unfounded. The man possessed desirable physical attributes, and his rare combination of blond hair and blue eyes made him even the more attractive to certain beings. “His intelligence is cause for much stimulating conversation, and I am pleased with his dedication to your education and wellbeing.”

“Is that all?” T’Val asked. 

“That is all.” Spock confirmed.

“Please go into detail on the physical attributes of his that you have noticed.”

Spock lifted a delicate eyebrow. “Is this necessary for your research?”

“Affirmative.”

“His body is well-toned and his hair and eyes are rare among Humans.”

Spock watched as T’Val inputted the information into the PADD, but it seemed to take longer than was appropriate to type in his answer.

“Have you completed your research?” He asked her.

“Negative. I need a moment to properly create the rating scale questionnaire which I will then distribute to you.”

Spock nodded in understanding and returned to his reading, swiping down the PADD as T’Val worked beside him. Once she had finished she approached him and held out the PADD.

“Please fill in this questionnaire and answer the rating scales truthfully.”

Spock accepted the PADD, and saw that she had used Likert scales in her questionnaire. He approved of the methods used to conduct her research. He took his time filling them in, lingering on each question before picking an answer. 

Once done he handed the PADD back to T’Val. She briefly gazed down at the answers then looked up at Spock. “Thank you for your participation.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not nor will I ever own Star Trek.

”Why did you send me this?” Jim asked as soon as he stepped through the threshold, waving his PADD around.

“What is it?” T’Val wondered, looking up at him.

“ _What is it? _It’s a freaking questionnaire you sent me about myself, answered by Spock!” He finished the last bit in a whisper, eyes darting around the room. He hadn’t even thought to check if Spock was in the room.__

__“Ah, I am pleased you have received it.”_ _

__“T’Val, you tell me what this is right now.” Jim hissed, lowering his voice._ _

__“I created and conducted a study centred on you and asked Spock to fill it out in order to determine his interest in you.”_ _

__“Could you keep it down a bit?” Jim asked, peeking over his shoulder._ _

__“Worry not, Spock is in his room partaking in a video transmission with his father.” T’Val assured him._ _

__Jim turned back to her. “You asked Spock how hot he found me?”_ _

__“Negative. Unfortunately deception was used when conducting the survey, but it was necessary as to not skewer the results.”_ _

__Jim blinked at her. “What?”_ _

__“Deception was used when conducting the survey, but it was necessary—”_ _

__“No, no, I mean in what way did you deceive Spock?”_ _

__“I informed him that the survey was in connection to my research on Human culture.”_ _

__“And he bought it?” Jim asked incredulously._ _

__“If he did not believe me to be telling the truth he kept the doubt to himself.”_ _

__“That doesn’t sound like Spock…”_ _

__“Indeed.”_ _

__Jim shook his head and held up his PADD. “T’Val, this is so weird.”_ _

__“Why?”_ _

__“Because I said so.” Jim argued childishly, not wanting to get into a row about how he was uncomfortable with her doing his flirting for him. Though technically it wasn’t flirting, it was research, and she’d done a much more thorough job than he ever could have._ _

__“That is not a reasonable rebuttal.”_ _

__“Oh my God,” Jim muttered, rolling his eyes. “Alright, fine, I’ll show you.” He scrolled down the PADD as he spoke. “See, I mean— look at some of these questions. ‘Would you approach Jim if you saw him out in public?’, ‘what aspects of Jim do you find baffling?’— and you asked him to rate my physical attractiveness on a scale from one to five?!”_ _

__“It is not the most important question, but it was vital in discerning to what level Spock found you visually pleasing. The most important factor should be mental compatibility, as for Vulcans it is essential in order to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. However, I did not include that in the questionnaire as I am not currently aware of the nature of the relationship you wish to have with one another.”_ _

__Jim stared at T’Val. “I don’t know what to say to that.”_ _

__“Spock finds you highly aesthetically pleasing, Jim, however I am not entirely certain whether he would consider you as a potential partner unless there was some level of mental compatibility. It is what will determine how attractive you will be to him.”_ _

__“So these questions were useless, then?” He asked, kind of disappointed._ _

__“Not at all. Now we are aware that Spock indeed holds some level of interest in you, but we have yet to ascertain whether it is of a romantic or sexual nature.”_ _

__Jim squeezed his eyes shut and took a calming breath. “T’Val, there is no ‘we’ in this, and we are _not_ going to figure out if he likes me in a romantic or sexual way. Know that this ‘research’ thing is super creepy.”_ _

__Her stony-faced expression suddenly faltered, and she looked slightly contrite. “I apologise for causing you discomfort, Jim. I was under the impression that I was aiding you in your pursuit of Spock.”_ _

__“There is no pursuit of Spock, T’Val.” Jim dismissed._ _

__“But there is an interest.”_ _

__A tense silence stretched between them._ _

__“You should be a lawyer, you know that.” Jim muttered finally, shaking his head. “Come on then, let’s get today’s lesson started. I want to forget about this whole ordeal as fast as possible.”_ _

__*_ _

__Okay, so Jim would never admit it, but after the whole weird talk with T’Val about his interest in Spock, he’d kind of, sorta, really become curious about the mental compatibility thing she mentioned. He’d read about it a little in the academic journals he’d found, but there wasn’t much on it. Jim wanted solid information, like what it was, how it worked, and how you went about doing it._ _

__The research T’Val had done had also brought up so many questions. Jim spent the tram ride back to his apartment wondering about mental compatibility between Vulcans. Since he was a Human would he be allowed to do it? Would Spock be able to do it considering he was half Human? If they did check their mental compatibility, what would happen if he found out that Spock only wanted him because of his face and body? He understood if that was the only thing the guy was attracted to, Jim himself had after all been privy to plenty of sexual relationships based solely on physical attraction. Actually, since Vulcan culture largely centred on their minds, was mental compatibility better than sex for them?_ _

__He had so many questions he wanted the answer to, but Vulcans were a sneaky, secretive species and Jim could find fuck all about sex. He couldn’t even find anything on how they reproduced. His only source on Vulcan information was an eight year old child, and he’d really rather not ask her._ _

__He wondered if there even was information on Vulcan reproduction. Knowing how the species seemed to be constantly pursuing further knowledge, he was pretty sure they did. He wondered if maybe there even were some studies on mental compatibility between Humans and Vulcans. He figured there must since Spock’s parents were a Vulcan/Human pair._ _

__He thought of the Vulcan archives, and if he were to want information from them, how he’d go about accessing them. Because once again, the only Vulcans he knew who could access that information _and_ translate it for him were and eight-year old and the target of his desires: two beings he absolutely _did not_ want to involve in his endeavours._ _

__Damn, why were Vulcans so damn tight-lipped about their culture?_ _

__*_ _

__Jim had yawned so often and so widely recently that he was pretty sure he could dislodge his jaw. He rubbed at his eyes. Man, he really had not expected the assignment for today’s tutorial to have been that much. He really had no one else to blame but himself for putting it off that long… well, maybe Bones and his suggestion that they go bar-hopping. Jim could never turn down a night out with his best friend, and with them being right in the middle of their degrees as well as nearing exam season, it was not a good decision. Still, at least he’d managed to get some horrific pictures of a drunk out of his mind Bones. They’d make for some good blackmail material in the future._ _

__His class has been let out of their two hour lecture early, which was great because it had almost put Jim to sleep. Not so great in that now he had half an hour to waste, and he wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t spend it sleeping somewhere or just standing up. So, he decided to get coffee._ _

__Jim entered the student café, careful not to bump into the hub of cadets. It seemed to be a lot of people there, which made sense considering it was 12:30. He took his spot in the queue, perusing the baked goods and wondering if he should have either nothing or five of them. In the end he decided against it, and settled with ordering a Caf au Lait when it came his turn at the till._ _

__Jim joined the other students waiting for their drinks, most of them on their phones and other staring aimlessly at their surroundings. He rubbed a hand down his face, managing to cover his mouth just in time for another yawn. Man, this caffeine better get him through his tutorial. He’d done the work for it, damn it, and wanted to show off. Jim lazily looked around the café, taking in the amount of people that were filling up the seats. A group that looked to be working on a project of some sort, two Ferengis sat together, and— oh hey, it was Spock._ _

__Spock and one of the most beautiful women Jim had ever laid his eyes on. Damn, son. She had dark skin and long, sleek hair that was tied up in a high ponytail. Her eyes were amazing, sharp and piercing, and she moved her hands with such grace Jim felt as if he were watching a dance. He wondered if she was a teacher at the academy. He didn’t think so, since he’d be pretty sure they’d be known since most of the lecturers they got were 50+. Well, with the exception of Spock, but he was a Vulcan so he didn’t really count._ _

__Spock and the woman looked to be having some sort of conversation, the woman saying something as Spock nodded along. He was wearing his regular black uniform, the one that hugged every angle of his body and made Jim very uncomfortable in all the right ways. Man, black really was Spock’s colour; that whole dark eyes and hair combination along with his white skin made quite the contrast. It was pretty damn cool actually, kind of like seeing a real life black and white drawing._ _

__Jim must have been staring for longer than he realised, because suddenly Spock turned and their eyes caught. Jim mustered up a smile and awkwardly threw the man a wave which Spock didn’t return, but he did nod. That was practically a ‘hey buddy, nice seeing you’ from him. The woman sitting with Spock turned and spotted Jim too, and Jim saw as she leaned forward and whispered something to Spock._ _

__“Caf au Lait!” The barista called._ _

__“That’s me,” Jim announced, walking up to the counter. “Thanks.”_ _

__He brought the cup up to his lips and blew away some of the steam, trying to cool it down before he took his first sip. He left the line and wandered to the seating area, browsing the place to see if anything had opened up, maybe a small two person table._ _

__“Jim.” A familiar voice called, and Jim turned to see Spock and the woman still sat at their table._ _

__He approached them with a smile, but it was a struggle to keep it up. “Hey, Spock.”_ _

__“Do you wish to sit with us?” Spock offered._ _

__Jim immediately shook his head. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose—“_ _

__“Nonsense, sit with us.” The woman dismissed, and turned to the table next to theirs. “Excuse me, do you mind if I take this chair?” She asked, placing her hands on the empty seat._ _

__“Not at all.” The person assured her, and the woman threw them a grateful smile._ _

__Jim watched as she dragged the chair over and positioned it at the table. Giving her a nod and ‘thanks’, he dropped his bag under the table and dropped down in the seat._ _

__“I’m Uhura by the way.” The woman introduced herself, holding out a hand._ _

__“Jim.” He accepted her hand with a strong shake. “Pleasure to meet you.”_ _

__“You too.”_ _

__Clearing his throat, Jim asked, “So, are you a friend of Spock’s?”_ _

__“I am now.” Uhura chuckled. “I used to be his student.”_ _

__Jim’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “No way…”_ _

__“To this day you have been my best student.” Spock interjected, and God help him, he actually looked _fond_._ _

__Uhura swatted at Spock’s chest. “Spock, please, you’re making me blush.” She drawled, rolling her eyes._ _

__“No offense, but that’s pretty weird, isn’t it? Staying friends with your old teacher?”_ _

__Uhura tilted her head. “I suppose, but I never really saw it as that. I mean, I did see him as my teacher at first, but we were both part of the Xenolinguistics Society and played big roles in it. I was the President and he was the Secretary, so I guess that kind of eliminated the whole ‘student-teacher’ thing.”_ _

__“I see…” Jim nodded. “That’s pretty impressive, I’m assuming you’re big on languages then?”_ _

__“Yeah, I love them.” Uhura nodded gleefully. “They’re just so cool and complex, and when you learn them and understand their makeup and see their shared history with other languages, it just makes them like a hundred times cooler.”_ _

__“Nerd.” Jim snorted, grinning._ _

__“Representing.” Uhura agreed, placing her hand over her heart. “Till the day I die.”_ _

__Jim let out a chuckle. He always appreciated someone who could make fun of themselves, and Uhura seemed to be comfortable enough in her own skin to actively do so._ _

__“So how many languages do you speak?” He asked her._ _

__“Um, sixteen.” Jim’s mouth dropped open, and Uhura snorted. “Yeah, that’s usually the reaction I get.”_ _

__“Don’t take this the wrong way, but how _the fuck_ do you speak sixteen languages?”_ _

__Uhura shrugged. “I really love languages. I can say 'get off my dick' in twenty-two, though.”_ _

__Jim barked out a laugh. “Unbelievable.” He said, still in shock. This woman was incredible. Not only did she seem to have brains, but on top of that she was gorgeous and at ease with herself, which to Jim made her all the more attractive._ _

__Jim felt suddenly small. It came across him occasionally, a feeling of inadequacy he couldn’t really control. It was odd, because he knew that he was pretty damn intelligent, and his good looks got him his fair share of prospects, but it didn’t stop him from feeling lesser somehow. Everyone was taken over by feelings of insecurity from time to time._ _

__He let out a low whistle, and repeated in awe, “Sixteen languages. Spock’s a lucky guy to have someone like you.”_ _

__Uhura laughed, the sound a light tingle. “Sweetie, please. You’re entirely mistaken.”_ _

__Jim frowned in confusion. “What?”_ _

__“I’m not his girlfriend.”_ _

__“…What?”_ _

__“Why would you believe Nyota to be my partner?” Spock inquired, looking to him._ _

__“Well…” Jim motioned at all of Uhura. “Look at her.”_ _

__Uhura let out a sudden loud laugh, then shook her head with a grin. “That’s very sweet of you, thanks, but it took quite a while to reach this level of confidence. Also I kind of lucked out in the genetic lottery, so that helped. Now that is; when I was younger I looked horrendous. You want to see?” She asked gleefully, already reaching into her bag._ _

__Jim sat up straighter. “Always.” He grinned._ _

__Uhura whipped out her comm unit and opened it up to her picture album, showing Jim holo after holo of herself when she was younger, some of which had Jim howling with laughter. She really had been a bit of a mess as a kid, but to be fair, everyone was. Jim was sure that if he showed his childhood holos to someone, they wouldn’t believe it to be Jim. Hell, even Bones had been shocked to find that the acne-faced, braces-wearing, bespectacled kid in the holo was his roommate and good friend._ _

__Uhura showed Jim another holo, and he couldn’t help but snort. “You know what, I bet you had a great personality.”_ _

__Uhura shoved at him. “I was actually pretty tough, and it earned me quite a lot of respect, especially from the older students in the class above mine.” Uhura swiped through to another holo, this one where she had a head full of afro hair. “Yeah, this was in high school. My hair was _huge_ back then. I went through a phase where I was too lazy to care for it so I just wore it all natural.”_ _

__A thought occurred to Jim and he looked to Spock. “Hey, maybe we should look into proper haircare for T’Val.”_ _

__There was a prominent gleam in Uhura’s eyes as she threw Spock a smirk. She turned to Jim with a smile. “Oh don’t worry, I’m already helping with that. I often do T’Val’s hair for her. That’s why it’s always so neat.”_ _

__Looking at Uhura, Jim understood. Not a thing about her was out of place. “That’s good. It’s reassuring to have someone who knows how to do a black girl’s hair. I mean, what can two white guys do?” Jim quirked a grin, pointing between himself and Spock._ _

__Uhura erupted into laugher, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. “I hate to say it, but it’s true.” She said between bouts of giggles. She turned to Spock. “This guy’s pretty fun, where’d you find him?”_ _

__Spock looked at Uhura as if he were trying to figure out a riddle. Uhura turned to Jim with a grin. “He thinks I’m joking.”_ _

__Jim chuckled and placed a hand on his chest in mock-offense. “Rude. I am hilarity personified.”_ _

__Uhura smirked at him, shaking her head. “I’m sure you are.”_ _

__The action caused her sleek hair to sway beautifully, the shimmer of it catching Jim’s eye. “I gotta say though, you’re rocking both hairdos.” He commented._ _

__Uhura ran her hand down her ponytail proudly. “Thanks. Nice to change it up once in a while, but I do usually try and represent my roots.”_ _

__“Loud and proud, huh?” Jim smiled._ _

__“You know it.”_ _

__“Where are your roots at then?”_ _

__“Both of my parents are from Kenya, but I grew up in both Kenya and the States. I was jumping back and forth almost every year, it was crazy.”_ _

__“Why’d you do that?” Jim frowned._ _

__“Oh, because of my grandmother’s work. My parents died when I was young so she took on the task of raising me herself.” Uhura explained._ _

__“Woah. That’s amazing. You guys close?”_ _

“ _So close_.” She grinned. 

__Jim was about to ask more about Uhura’s grandmother, when his eyes caught the time on her comm. “Shit.”_ _

__Uhura raised a delicate eyebrow at him._ _

__“I’m sorry, I need to head off if I want to make it in time for my tutorial.” Jim explained, already standing up. Fuck, he’d even forgotten to drink his coffee. He hoped it was still warm enough to enjoy._ _

__“No problem, it was nice talking to you.” Uhura said, giving him a warm smile._ _

__“You too.” Jim returned, then looked to Spock. “And Spock…” He faltered briefly, then shrugged. “It was nice having you listen. Maybe next time you could give the whole conversation thing a try.”_ _

__“It is a trying task getting a word in edge-wise with the both of you.”_ _

__Uhura laughed, and Jim leant in, punching Spock lightly in the arm and calling him a nerd before he headed off._ _

__

____

[](http://s346.photobucket.com/user/iknewaman/media/TVal01_zpsotvpmeir.jpg.html)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I drew some hairstyles that I imagined Uhura had done on T'Val just because I liked the idea :) Hope you like them!
> 
> Also next chapter will be the catalyst for more Spock/Jim interactions, so stay tuned!


	14. Chapter 14

“How did you find out where I live?” Jim asked, looking down at T’Val. She was stood outside his apartment door with a backpack filled to the brim.

“Greetings, Jim Kirk.”

“Well?” Jim prodded.

T’Val remained tight-lipped.

Jim sighed. “Does Spock know you’re here?”

“He is aware I am not present at his abode.” Jim took that as T’Val speak for ‘no, he does not know I’ve run away’. 

“Come on.” He said, stepping aside. T’Val wandered in, looking infinitely smaller than she usually did with her giant backpack.

Jim shut the door. He was going to have to call Spock and let him know she was here, the guy was probably freaking the fuck out right now. T’Val gingerly slipped the backpack off her, and Jim watched as she propped it up against the couch. Well, he might as well take this opportunity to introduce her to Bones.

“Make yourself at home.” He said, gesturing at the living room at large. He flipped out his communicator and began scrolling for Spock’s number. “Bones! Come out, we’ve got a visitor! Keep it PG!” He added, remembering who his friend was.

An answering grumble erupted from the room furthest to the right, and Bones came ambling out, clearly in his natural bad mood. The beeping tone on Jim’s communicator let him know his call was being sent through.

Bones opened his mouth to say something crass, probably, but his eyes fell on T’Val and he came to a sudden stop. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, then Bones’ face split into a slow grin.

“Well I’ll be damned. Who knew little Vulcans could be so adorable?” He drawled lazily.

A moss green flush suddenly appeared on T’Val’s cheeks. 

Jim froze.

Oh God. Oh God, no. This couldn’t be happening. Not a crush on Bones, please, no. How was he going to explain this to Spock?

“Jim.” Came the familiar voice through the comm.

“Spock! Hey, it’s Jim!” He started awkwardly, still trying to wrap his head around the clear evidence that T’Val fancied his very grumpy, Southern (belle) friend. “Just wanted to let you know that T’Val’s at my place. She came over on her own, and I have no idea how she got my address, but there’s no need to worry. She’s not lost or anything.”

Jim thought he heard Spock let out a sigh of relief, but he could very well have been projecting.

“Thank you, Jim. I will be at your residence momentarily.”

“How—” Spock cut the line before Jim could ask how he’d find his apartment. He’d never given it out to either him or T’Val, but then again, he’d learnt that Vulcans were pretty sneaky so it didn’t really surprise him that they knew. He should probably feel violated and afraid for having his privacy infringed upon, but he liked Spock and T’Val too much to do anything about it.

*

The doorbell rang about twenty minutes later, interrupting Bones, T’Val and Jim’s card game. Bones had though to play ‘Go Fish’ since it was a simple enough game, and Jim joined them because he didn’t want to leave T’Val unsupervised. Jim absolutely trusted Bones with the kid, there was no doubt in his mind he knew what he was doing a hundred times more than Jim ever would, but he just had to watch over T’Val _because_. Because she’d just run away from her home and he was worried. Because she was acting out of character and he was worried. Because he now understood Spock’s fear when he wrongfully had thought T’Val liked Jim, and he had to nip her crush on Bones in the bud.

Jim stood from where they were all sat on the floor and went to open the door. The image that greeted him was a bit of a shock. He never thought he would say this, but Spock looked rather worst for the wear. His eyes were tight and a bit red on the insides, and he was stood so rigidly Jim wouldn’t have been surprised if the guy had revealed he’d replaced his spine with a metal rod. Even his hair was kind of, not-straight.

“Hey,” Jim greeted. He opened the door further, allowing Spock to step inside.

Spock gave Jim a stiff nod as he passed. Once inside he looked around the room, his eyes falling on T’Val where she was sat with a set of cards in her hand.

“T’Val.” Spock said softly.

T’Val didn’t even deign Spock with a look, keeping her eyes on her cards. Bones looked to Jim with a frown who shrugged in return.

“Hey, T’Val,” Jim began. “Aren’t you gonna say ‘hi’ to Spock?”

T’Val determinedly kept her gaze down. Spock turned to Jim and he could see the exhaustion set in the man’s face. Man, he really wondered what had happened.

“T’Val,” Spock started, turning back to her. “It is time for us to depart.”

She remained unmoving. Bones reached forward and gently touched her arm. “Hey kid, it’s time for you to go home.”

T’Val immediately snatched her arm away. “No!”

Jim’s eyes widened at the reaction. He had never heard her yell before. Ever.

Spock approached her and repeated, “We must depart now, T’Val.”

“I do not wish to go with you.” She stated firmly, frowning.

“Why not?” Jim asked, looking confused. “T’Val, why are you acting like this?”

“I do not want to go. I have no home to return to.”

Jim’s eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What’re you talking about? You live with Spock, T’Val, you love it there.”

“I do not. He has nothing to offer me.” She muttered darkly.

“Woah now,” Jim exclaimed, walking up to her. “What is wrong with you, why are you being so rude? Spock’s offered you so much since you moved in with him, he practically considers you family.”

Spock looked to Jim at that, but didn’t contend the comment.

T’Val shook her head and glared at Spock. “He does not. He first and foremost cares for himself over anyone else, and is a half-breed incapable of completing a full bond with a true Vulcan.”

Spock stilled.

Now Jim might not have understood the intricacies of the fight they were having, but he knew that T’Val had stepped out of line with that comment. He jumped to Spock’s defence, raising his voice at T’Val for the first time. 

“Hey! That is well out of order, T’Val! That is a horrible thing to say and you will apologise to Spock, right now.” He ordered sternly.

T’Val’s eyes widened at Jim’s outburst, but just as quickly something changed in her face and she grew suddenly quiet. “I dislike you immensely.” She muttered, and dropped the cards in her hands. 

Jim watched in frozen shock as she stood up and retreated into his bedroom, firmly shutting the door behind her. An eerie silence fell over the room in wake of her departure.

What the fuck had just happened.

“I’ll handle her,” Bones told Jim, standing up. “I’ve had plenty of experiences handling temper tantrums with Joanna, I’ve got this. You two just,” Bones motioned between the two of them, clearly thinking that was clearly explaining what he wanted to say, and then headed off after T’Val.

Jim stared after his friend, watching as the door clicked shut a second time. He still couldn’t comprehend what had just happened here. T’Val was usually so calm and collected, he didn’t know what had caused her sudden outburst. Jim suddenly felt incredibly drained. He looked to Spock and saw the man to be in an equal state. His eyes were still locked on Jim’s closed door and his shoulders seemed to be sagging.

“Hey, I’m sure she didn’t mean what she said. She was just venting her anger.”

Jim saw something tighten in Spock’s face. 

“Anger…” The man murmured.

Jim cleared his throat and gingerly asked, “What was all that about?”

Spock took a slow breath. “We had… an argument earlier today.”

Jim scowled. “She seemed pretty upset, Spock. I mean she came all the way here, _alone_. That’s really dangerous.”

Spock paused briefly. “T’Val’s father is not entirely pleased with his daughter learning so much about Humans customs. He has expressed a strong wish for her to return to Vulcan and acquire a bondmate.”

Jim froze. “I’m sorry, what was that last bit?”

Spock’s eyes fell shut, and Jim knew it was serious if he was letting himself display Human mannerisms.

“She’s eight.” Jim stressed.

“Vulcans bond at a young age.”

“Doesn’t her dad want T’Val to learn about Earth?” Jim asked, feeling himself getting riled up.

“In theory, but not in practice. When I updated him on T’Val’s wellbeing during our latest video transmission, he expressed displeasure in regards to the methods used to educate her.”

“That’s…” Jim sighed. “Tell me about T’Val’s situation.” Spock glanced at Jim, and so he clarified, “I mean, why is she on Earth? Why is she with you and not with, you know, her family?”

Spock looked as if he weren’t going to tell Jim and fall into the shutdown mode he’d grown accustomed to seeing, but then he spoke. “T’Val’s mother, Kikyo, fell ill a few months prior. She began experiencing hallucinations and bouts of memory loss, unable to sometimes even recognise her own daughter or spouse. There was no known cure that could help her predicament as healers could not figure out what was the cause of her sudden illness. She was deemed incapable of caring for T’Val, and put into a health institution for the mentally ill. T’Val’s father’s work does not allow him to stay on Vulcan for long periods of time, and they could not afford a caretaker for T’Val.” 

“What about his side of the family though? Surely he must’ve had someone on Vulcan.” Jim wondered.

Spock looked uncomfortable, his eyebrows furrowing further. “Jim, you must understand. Despite Vulcans proclaiming IDIC to be the way of the future, they are extremely against outsiders in their midst. When T’Val’s father married Kikyo, he was promptly disowned and shunned by his remaining living relatives.”

“That’s bullshit.” Jim growled.

“It is difficult to break out of prejudice.”

Jim’s mouth turned down in a grim line. “Was that the same for you?”

Spock chose not to answer the question and instead explained, “My mother and Kikyo were close friends, as they were two Humans living on Vulcan. When my mother heard the news of Kikyo being institutionalised and T’Val’s situation, she promptly called me. My father was at the time attempting peaceful relations on Palmed, a war torn planet, and my mother had accompanied him. They had constant security assigned to them and had been placed in a carefully protected hotel meant for visiting diplomats. It would have been no place for a child.”

Jim nodded in agreement, expression grim.

“However, my mother thought I would be an ideal candidate to care for T’Val, for reasons that still escape me, and so it came to be that she moved in with me. My mother jested that I would have the younger sibling I had always wished for.” He uttered quietly.

“So you didn’t know her at all before?” Jim asked softly.

“Affirmative.”

“That’s really good of you, Spock.” Jim said sincerely. He hoped Spock understood that the words were coming from a genuine place. “But that’s got to be hard for a young kid, just uprooting yourself and moving to another place, living with a complete stranger.”

“The beginning of our acquaintanceship was indeed difficult, however…” Spock trailed off.

“Yeah?” Jim prompted.

“I am pleased circumstances have led to our meeting.” Spock finished.

A small smile worked its way across Jim’s face and he looked at Spock with such tenderness. 

The door to Jim’s bedroom suddenly opened, and Bones emerged with T’Val wrapped up in his arms. Spock immediately stood up and Jim followed suit. Spock hastily walked over to Bones, uncomfortable with how he was carrying T’Val, but when he approached he saw that she was sound asleep.

“She tired herself out.” Bones revealed in a low voice. “Very common thing for kids to do, just let them cry and it’ll all be fine.”

Spock stiffened. “She cried?”

“No, no,” Bones placated. “She didn’t cry, she just worked herself up and then crashed.”

Spock relaxed slightly. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a problem. Like I said, I’ve got a little girl myself, so I’ve had plenty of practice with kids throwing temper tantrums.”

Spock looked drained, and Jim felt a stab of sympathy for the man.

“Hey, do you want some tea or anything?” He offered.

“No, thank you. I believe it is wise for us to retire.” Spock looked to Bones, and for a moment Jim thought he was going to wake T’Val up. But surprisingly, he gently extricated her from Bones, gently laying her sleeping head against the crook of his shoulder. Jim saw T’Val’s tiny fists clench briefly as she snuggled closer into Spock.

Jim opened the door for Spock, and Bones followed after them. None of the men spoke, just waiting as Spock gingerly slipped into his shoes. Luckily they were like slippers, so it didn’t require him to hand over T’Val to anyone first. Jim was pretty sure the guy would be hard-pressed to do so right now.

Spock turned to him and Bones. “Thank you for your assistance. Today was most trying.”

“Hey, it’s a not a problem at all.” Jim assured him.

“It’s tough raising a kid, there’s nothing wrong with accepting helping hands every once in a while.” Bones inputted.

Spock inclined his head once, careful not to stir T’Val. “Indeed. I thank you, especially, for dealing with T’Val’s distress.”

“Happy to help.” Bones nodded, the end of his lips curling up slightly. Jim carefully moved past Spock and opened up the door for him. Bones leaned past him and told Spock, “It was good meeting you.”

“Likewise. Though I had wished the circumstances were different.”

“There’s always another time.” Jim interjected, smiling softly. It really was a shame their first meeting had been this whole mess with T’Val, but Jim was determined to get them together again at some point.

Spock exited the apartment, throwing Jim a final grateful look before heading off. Jim could hear his footsteps as he slowly padded down the hallway.

“Just a sec,” He told Bones, and hurried after Spock. “Hey, Spock.” He called softly, not wanting to wake T’Val. 

The man stopped and looked back at him. “Is something the matter, Jim?”

“No, I just wanted to tell you that… Bones… he’s great with kids, and he’s got loads of experience so it’d be good to get his help sometimes. Also, he’s a doctor, so he’s really trustworthy.” He finished, having finally let the truth out.

Jim saw something tighten in Spock’s face, but he just nodded and turned, leaving Jim to watch his retreating back.


	15. Chapter 15

Jim had just gotten let out from his last lecture of the day and was on his way home when he decided to call Spock. He hadn’t heard from the guy since yesterday with the whole T’Val mess, and he wanted to check in on them. Fishing out his comm, Jim brought up Spock's number and patiently listened to the dial tone until the man picked up.

“Jim.” Spock answered.

“Hey, Spock. How’re you doing, man?” Jim greeted cheerfully.

“I am faring better.” Spock replied.

“That’s good. And T’Val?”

There was a brief pause. “She is too, faring better, but is still keeping to herself.”

Jim winced. “That… yeah, alright, that doesn’t sound too good.”

“Indeed. However, I cannot force her to do what she clearly does not wish to.”

“Is she still refusing to stay with you?”

“She spoke very little to me since our return yesterday. I am uncertain as to her opinion on the matter, however, today we have scheduled a mind meld, and I am hoping to garner her impression of our recent activities.”

“That’s good.” Jim breathed. So from what Spock said he understood that T’Val may or may not still be upset, but she wasn’t showing it as openly as she did yesterday. Man, that really had been a shock for Jim. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that she had actually thrown a temper tantrum, like an actual Human kid. “The way she behaved yesterday was just…”

“Extremely out of character.”

Jim chuckled. “That’s one way of putting it. I didn’t know she could be that mean. I think our next lesson needs to focus on the power of words and the impact it has on people.”

“I believe it would be useful, as Humans often put emphasis and meaning on the way things are pronounced.”

“Yeah, Humans…” He murmured, knowing full well it wasn’t just Humans.

“Jim, would you be amenable to meeting in a public establishment?” Spock said suddenly.

“What, right now?” Jim asked in surprise.

“Not today as I am preoccupied. If I am to meet with you I will need to ensure T'Val has a caretaker for the duration of my absence.” Jim realised just then the weight and meaning of Spock’s words. The guy was asking to meet up, just the two of them.

Jim swallowed, feeling his heart begin to race. “Um, yeah, sure. When’s a good time for you?”

“I finish my work at noon on Wednesday.” 

That was two days from now.

“That sounds great.”

“Excellent.”

“Awesome, I’ll see you then.” Jim told Spock. He had Wednesdays free, and usually he went over his lecture notes and did some further research on them, but he thought he could allow himself a day off this time.

“Until Wednesday. Goodbye, Jim.” Spock returned, and hung up.

Jim stared down at his comm unit, and he couldn’t help but feel anticipation rushing through his blood.

*

In the following three days Jim managed to work himself into a weird frenzy before the ‘date’ which he refused to call as such, but apparently Bones was adamant on stressing Jim out further by labelling things. Jim suddenly became more aware of himself, starting to take notice of the style of his hair, his five o’clock shadow and the lines under his eyes from hours on end reading through sources for his essay.

“Be honest with me,” He told Bones. “How would you rate my face?”

“On a scale of what, Jim?” Bones sighed.

“Attractiveness. From one to ten.”

Bones peered at his friend for a moment, then clapped him on the shoulder. “A solid eleven.”

Jim’s expression eased into a relieved grin. “Thanks, bud. Appreciate it.”

“This date really stressing you out, huh?”

“It’s not a date.” Jim defended quickly, causing his friend’s eyebrows to jump.

“Really now?”

“Yup.” Jim nodded. “Just a completely platonic meet up where we get coffee.”

“And when you end up having sex at the end of it, is it still platonic then?”

“It won’t happen.” Jim responded firmly. 

He may have come to terms that he found Spock attractive, but there was no way he would be able to have sex with the guy if it led to that. Not now, at least. Jim was way too much of a nervous wreck for that, and he thought it might have to do with the fact that he wasn’t entirely certain in his opinion of Spock anymore. They’d been getting along a lot better lately, talking freely and openly about a range of subjects after T’Val’s lessons, sometimes even on campus. Hell, they’d apparently been getting on so well even the little lady had noticed, and damn, did the memory of T’Val giving Jim her approval still fill him with some prideful sort of embarrassment.

“Whatever you say.” Bones snorted, and turned to head into the kitchen.

“Hey, Bones?” Jim hedged.

“What?” The man drawled lazily.

“Could you help pick out an outfit for me?”

Bones threw Jim an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?”

“For the life of me, I can’t remember what I wear on a daily basis.” Jim revealed, running his hand through his hair in a huff. Fuck, his hair. Should he do something about that too?

“Unbelievable.” Bones muttered, but made his way into Jim’s room.

Jim trailed after him, still wondering if he should do anything about his hair or leave it natural. He didn’t want to come across as if he was trying too hard to look special that day, even though that was definitely the image he wanted to give. Bones opened up Jim’s closet and dug through his clothes, throwing pieces he deemed appropriate back onto his bed. 

“Make it look like it’s casual, but I still look good. Like casual me is always good-looking.” Jim told him, picking up one of the shirts his friend had picked. It was a simple blue shirt, loose at the sleeves and an almost identical shade to Jim’s eyes.

Bones grumbled something about ‘frail, pretty men and their sensibilities’ but sorted through Jim’s clothes until he managed to pull together a rather decent outfit; a pair of faded blue jeans and a white t-shirt with Jim’s trusted leather jacket thrown over it.

“I don’t know, Bones. Isn’t the leather jacket a bit much?” Jim said, biting his lip.

“You literally wear no other jacket but this.” Bones pointed out, and Jim realised it was true. He must be more nervous than he thought.

Jim immediately began undressing where he stood, wanting to try the outfit on and see what it looked like on him. He wondered if he should do anything with his hair or just leave it natural. Should he wear a necklace or a ring? A ring would look hot, Jim loved men who wore rings, but he wasn’t sure Spock was into that. 

Bones and Jim had seen each other naked so many times that Jim getting undressed right in front of him didn’t even phase the man anymore. He leaned back against the wardrobe door and watched as Jim struggled to pull his shirt over his head.

“So, Joanna will be visiting in two days, you know.” He said without preamble.

“Yeah, I know.” Jim said, hopping into his jeans. He grabbed the belt loops and pulled them up over his thighs.

“If you wanted to bring that T’Val kid over so the two of them can meet and play, that’d be great. I think that kid needs some friends her own age. She speaks awfully proper for a child.”

Jim held back his remark about it being because she was Vulcan, because on some level he did actually agree with Bones. He did in all honesty love the way T’Val spoke, it was hilarious hearing such eloquent Standard come out of a child’s mouth. However, he did also think she needed more friends her own age who could help her pick up on the lingo kids’ spoke today, whatever that was. To think of it, he’d never heard of anyone coming to visit T’Val at Spock’s place, or about T’Val heading over to someone else’s home.

“I’ll make sure to ask Spock about it.” He said, craning his neck to check his ass out in the mirror.

*

Jim would never admit it to anyone, but before his meeting with Spock he’d looked through the questionnaire T’Val sent him, reading it much more thoroughly this time around. He’d thought it might be able to help him today, but there wasn’t much that he could utilise in his favour except for the fact that Spock apparently already found him to be attractive. That was as good a start as any, he supposed. He could do this. He could nail it.

That thought quickly left him when he was actually at the coffee shop, sitting opposite of Spock with their respective drinks in their hands. The hustle and bustle of activities around them was incredibly loud in comparison to the frankly awkward silence at the table. Jim couldn’t understand it, talking to Spock had been a breeze lately, why was this such a hassle now.

Jim deliberately took his time sipping at his coffee, desperately trying to think of something to say, some topic they could talk about. He blamed this all on Bones and his damn labelling, making Jim think this platonic meeting was a date. He’d jinxed it.

“So,” Jim began, with no plan on what to say after that. Silence followed that word once more, and Jim wanted to bang his head against the table for even trying to speak. This was going awful, but that didn’t stop him from repeating it. “So.”

Spock lifted a delicate brow. “Are you well, Jim?”

“Just swell.” Jim lied. “What uh… what are you drinking?”

“I am consuming herbal tea.”

“Cool. What kind of herbs?” Jim wanted to punch himself in the face for that question. What kind of _tea_? What kind of idiotic _thing_ was that to say.

Still, Spock didn’t seem think it was strange, because he replied, “I am uncertain to the herbs used exactly, but the tea itself is Japanese in origin.”

“You been drinking a lot of Japanese tea lately?”

“More so since T’Val arrived. Her mother consumed an inordinate amount of tea which she ordered specifically from Japan, and T’Val enjoys its aroma.”

Jim nodded along to the explanation, thinking the reason quite sweet. “Hey Spock, have you ever thought of taking T’Val to visit Japan?”

“I have entertained the idea.“ Spock put his cup down. “A few weeks ago I did some research into taking T’Val on a trip to Japan in hopes that she would be able to explore her mother’s culture more in depth. She seemed receptive to the idea. I have also looked up family relations to T’Val in Japan and found the mother and sister of Kikyo. I also attempted to look into family members in Egypt, but acquiring adoption documents is difficult as they are sealed for safety purposes.” 

Jim felt himself growing excited at the prospect of T'Val exploring her roots, and he was really happy Spock was taking such an interest in her and her Human half. “That's real cool, Spock. Do you think you’d do the same? Like see if you had family in Canada?”

“I have five cousins in Canada.” Spock replied, as if he were commenting on the weather and not throwing Jim for a loop.

“No way!” Jim laughed. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t weird to have cousins or anything, but just the idea that Spock had Human cousins was so strange to Jim. “What’re they like?”

“They are vastly more emotional than my mother. Two of my cousins especially, Latisha and Abigail, would often attempt to elicit emotions from me when we visited them. It caused some displeasure, but it was obvious they did not intend to spite me. They simply wished to see me smile.”

Jim couldn’t keep the grin off his face. The image of a teenaged Spock being goaded into smiling was too precious. “Who are your other cousins? Tell me.”

“Other than Latisha and Abigail, who are both daughters of my aunt Ruby, there was Shahien and Safiya, the children of my uncle Tom, and Alejandro, the only son of my aunt Cassandra.”

Jim let out a low whistle. “I had no idea you had such ties to Earth. Hearing that honestly makes you seem a lot more human. In like, I can relate to you more, not in that having family makes you Human. I know loads of races have families.” He clarified.

“My grandparents also reside in Winnipeg.” Spock added. “Dolores Angeliné and Humberto Grayson.”

Jim felt so elated hearing all of this personal stuff about Spock. He had no idea that small talk could be this much fun, but maybe that was because it was Spock basically disabusing Jim’s every notion that he was a strict robot. “That’s so cool, man. What about on your dad’s side?”

“I have a few, but we do not speak.” Spock said, and Jim was reminded of how the guy had said it was common for families on Vulcan to turn away mixed race pairs. That still got his blood boiling, but he had to momentarily ignore his anger in favour of the ongoing conversation. 

Shutting himself off, Jim asked, “Not anyone?”

“I do still converse with my grandmother, who was approving of my parents’ marriage.” Spock hesitated, then added, “I have a half-brother from my father’s previous marriage.”

Jim’s eyebrows jumped. “Woah, the fuck?”

Spock seemed to collect himself briefly. “I do not speak of him often. He was a Vulcan of incredibly high intelligence, and was predicted to take a place among the previous great scholars on Vulcan. However, Sybok rejected his logical upbringing and instead chose to follow the path of emotions.”

“Woah.” Jim breathed. “What happened to him?”

“He attempted to convert other Vulcans to follow his belief, and so he was banished.”

“From the entire planet?” Jim asked incredulously, his voice rising towards the end.

“Affirmative.”

Jim sat back in his chair, shock painting his face. “That’s insane.”

Spock averted his gaze, looking down at his tea.

“Were you close?” Jim asked.

“No.”

“No love lost, then.” He said, thinking of Sam. He had no idea where he was, but Jim missed him sometimes. He was still pissed Sam had left without taking Jim with him, but looking at where he was now, sitting across from Spock, Jim’s not entirely sure he would have wanted to go if he knew this was what the future had in store for him. “Hey, I meant to ask last time, but how was it growing up with Vulcan father and Human mother? Like, in more detail.”

“My mother was considered reserved by Human standards, but she still displayed emotions openly. She would often keep holos from when I was a child openly in our home, something none of the Vulcan mothers did. She was often distraught at the behaviour I received at my institute in regards to my mixed heritage.”

“I’m guessing it wasn’t good.” Jim hedged.

“It was most displeasing, as I had not yet achieved proper control over my emotions. They seemed to delight in eliciting emotional reactions in me.” Spock shared. “I yearned to become more Vulcan and attempted to follow the teachings of Surak more closely. My father aided me in this endeavour, and with his help I was able to advance incredibly quickly.”

Jim doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he just nods grimly. “Good dad, huh?”

“I have a strong parental bond with my father for which I am grateful, as I have none with my mother.”

Jim frowned. “Why not?”

“She is Human, and therefore psinull.”

“You mean you can’t form any mental bonds with Humans?”

“No.”

“So how did she and your dad get together?”

“You misunderstand. Even though mental bonds cannot be formed between Humans and Vulcans, it is still possible to undergo mind melds.” Spock corrected. “This is often the case to gauge someone’s mental compatibility.”

Jim was reminded of what little T'Val had told him about that, and he found himself relaxing slightly at the information Spock just shared. Now he knew a little more about this whole thing.

"Mental compatibility is of utmost importance when seeking a partner, but Vulcans rarely stray outside of their race to find it. Instead they will settle with the highest mentally compatible Vulcan.” Spock paused briefly. “My father did not follow the custom, and ultimately found his match in my mother. Even T’Pau, one of the most logical minds on Vulcan, declared them to be _t’hy’la_ ; a Vulcan phrase which when most accurately translated to Standard means ‘soulmates’.”

Jim’s eyes alighted at the comment. He thought the notion of soulmates to be incredibly romantic. “So your mother married your father and found her home on Vulcan.”

“My mother herself is entirely Human, but she never felt she belonged anywhere. On Earth she was seen as being too emotionless and quiet, and on Vulcan she was deemed too emotional and Human.”

“Must’ve been difficult.”

“It was. However, she found solace with my father, and eventually myself. Despite not having created a parental bond between the two of us, my mother was expressive with her affection for me.”

Jim smiles. “That’s great.” He’s really fascinated by Spock’s mom. “What’s her name?”

“Her maiden name is Amanda Grayson.”

“Amanda. Lovely.”

“Do you have family, Jim?”

“Well, huh,” he began, the corners of his lips pulling into his cheeks. His turn to show and tell, apparently. “I do. My mom’s an engineer in Starfleet actually, she’s called Winona, and uh, I have an older brother called Sam. I never met my dad, he died before I was born. You might have heard of him; George Kirk?” He hedged uncertainly.

Spock’s eyes widened marginally. “You cannot claim my father to be known when you are the son of a hero.”

Jim’s mouth twisted into a grimace and he held back a frustrated sigh. Spock’s eyes jumped to his face.

“I have upset you.” He observed.

“No, it’s… yeah, it’s not a great subject.“ Jim admitted, twisting his cup in his hands.

A strained silence fell over them, and again the noise of the coffee shop around them seemed to amplify. Jim held up his coffee and raised a brow at Spock. “To famous dads?”

Spock didn’t indulge him, just continued to stare, and so Jim clinked his cup against Spock’s on the table instead.

“Are your parents’ occupation the reason you applied for Starfleet?” Spock asked.

“Surprisingly, no. I was really against Starfleet, because, you know, it took my dad’s life and my mom’s work always kept her away from home. She did re-marry after dad died, so we weren’t all alone on Earth, but Frank— that’s the guy she married— he… he wasn’t a great guy.” Jim finished lamely, not wanting to go into detail about how awful Frank was and how Sam had left the first chance he got. 

“I used to be a real shit when I was younger, so my mom sent me off to live with relatives for a while, but that didn’t really work so I came back. Some things happened in between, don’t really want to go into detail about it, and I…Honestly, I was in a pretty bad place. Then Pike— you know Christopher Pike, right? From the Academy?” 

“I know Christopher.”

“Chrstopher? Well aren’t you two cosy.” He winked, and continued. “So Pike, he found me in this dead end bar having just gotten the shit kicked out of me. Helped clean me up, talked to me— I disliked him from the start, thought he was a prick— but he managed to somehow goad me into applying for Starfleet, because apparently that guy knows exactly how to push my buttons.” Jim grinned, recalling how elegantly Pike had told him to ‘get his shit together because he was better than this hellhole’. “So he keeps doing it. The asshole.” He snorted, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“I see.” Spock murmured.

“What about you? Why did you take up a position at Starfleet?”

“I applied for a position here.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“As you know, my experience with growing up on Vulcan was not ideal.” Jim rolled his eyes at the cushioning of that statement. “Still, I studied hard and applied to the Vulcan Science Academy. My application was approved as I had scored the highest points ever in the history of the institute, and when they informed me of their decision I promptly turned them down in favour of Starfleet.”

“Holy shit, Spock,” Jim grinned manically. “You must be the first Vulcan ever to turn them down.”

“They echoed your thoughts. I informed them that as I was half-Vulcan, their reputation remained untarnished.”

Jim threw his head back and laughed. “Spock, you dick! I love it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh we're half way there
> 
> Wooo- _OOAAAHHHH_ livin' on a prayer


	16. Chapter 16

The meeting, not _date_ , progressed much better than Jim would have ever expected considering how awkwardly it had started. It seemed once they were on a roll they couldn’t stop. They chatted about anything and everything, trading stories, and learnt some more about each other, both the important and not so important. 

Jim found out that Spock really liked reading periodic literature from Betazed, and that he used to have a pet on Vulcan called I-Chaya which was apparently the Earth equivalent of a goddamn bear, and wasn’t that just all sorts of terrifying. Jim had just shared that he’d never had a pet growing up, but that once he’d taken home an injured bird and called it ‘Junior’, but their friendship was short-lived because the next day Junior had passed away.

Spock shared that he enjoyed dates with yoghurt, which Jim scrunched up his nose at, and said that he liked a different kind of dates, and took them with a side of sex at the end. The classy joke was wasted on Spock, but Jim was fine with it because he’d already drafted up the text he was going to send to Bones with that same joke.

It was nearing two in the afternoon when Spock glanced at his communicator and announced, “I must leave if I wish to meet with T’Val on time.”

“Alright, I’ll go with you. I can just catch my connection home from there.” Jim smiled, then sat up suddenly. “Oh, that reminds me. Joanna— that’s Bones’ daughter— she’s coming to visit on Friday. She’ll be staying the weekend and Bones said you’re more than free to bring T’Val over. In fact, he recommended it.”

Spock nodded. “That is agreeable.”

“R-really?” Jim asked, shocked. He hadn’t thought the guy would accept so quickly, he actually thought he’d need to convince Spock some.

“Indeed.” Spock affirmed.

“That’s great.” Jim said with a relieved grin. Maybe Spock had realised Bones wasn’t that bad, especially not after he had been able to so successfully calm T’Val down after her rather worrying episode.

Spock and Jim both donned their jackets, and Jim excused himself to go use the restroom before meeting up with Spock outside the café door. They both made sure their outerwear was probably zipped up and then headed in the direction of the tram stop. 

“I have observed that T’Val has taken an inordinate amount of interest in your doctor friend.” Spock commented idly.

Jim snorted. “That’s putting it lightly.”

Spock looked to Jim. “You knew.”

“I witnessed the whole thing.” He nodded. “I saw her fall for him. Her cheeks went bright green. It was adorable, but also super weird.”

“I agree it is odd, but I understand it is common behaviour for Human children to develop romantic interests in older people.”

“Yeah.” Jim agreed, remembering the neighbour girl. “It actually came up once during one of mine and T’Val’s lessons— you weren’t with us then, we went to the park— and safe to say she was really confused as to why that happens.”

“It is an interesting phenomenon.”

“I wouldn’t call it a phenomenon,” Jim chuckled. “Just… something that happens to quite a few kids. Did it ever happen to you?” 

The tips of Spock’s ears suddenly flushed green, and Jim’s face split into a gleeful grin.

“It totally did!” He laughed. “You had a crush on someone when you were a kid!”

Jim wondered who it could have been. Was it an elderly Vulcan lady? A boy at school just a few years his senior? A professor? He couldn’t contain his excitement, it felt like he was vibrating out of his skin. It was so weird how ecstatic Jim got whenever Spock revealed some Human side of himself, but he couldn’t help it.

Spock attempted to divert from the ribbing by commenting, “I have come to the conclusion that I made a wrongful impression of your friend from the beginning. As I inferred from the information I had previously gathered from my own experiences with doctors, I deduced wrongly.”

Jim nodded along to the explanation. “T’Val did mention something like that.” Spock looked to Jim, and he quickly clarified, “Don’t worry, she didn’t go into detail. Just quickly explained why she didn’t like doctors. Being mixed race on Vulcan really must have been shit.”

Spock nodded in agreement. “It was indeed difficult. However, we as a culture constantly seek to further advance in the sciences, and having willing test subjects so close at hand was ideal.”

“Was it really willing?” Jim asked in a doubting tone.

There was a brief pause, then Spock said, “It was.”

Jim was still suspicious of the whole Vulcan practice of experimenting on those underage or unable to give consent, no matter what Spock and T’Val seemed to say. They must have been under the impression that all the things Vulcans did in the name of science was for the greater good, but there must be instances where that wasn’t the case.

“You refer to your friend as ‘Bones’. Is that their actual name?” Spock asked all of a sudden.

Jim shook his head. “Nah, Bones is just a nickname I gave him. His real name is actually Leonard McCoy. A real Southern name.”

“Why did you give him the nickname?”

“It’s ‘cause during our induction at Starfleet we had to go through a flight simulation, and he was stood next to me in the line-up. Got bitching right there and then with me, a literal stranger.” Jim chuckled fondly. “He was saying how flying made him nervous, and he was a bit antsy, then went into some spiel about how if he threw up during the simulation his insides would be gone, but at least he’d have his bones and body left.”

“That is rather grim.” Spock commented.

Jim nodded. “Yeah. He then proceeded to throw up all over my shoes.”

Spock whirled on Jim, a look of disbelief in his eyes. 

Jim just shrugged, “Man’s a nervous flyer, what can you do.” 

Spock nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything.

“It’ll be interesting to get him on a starship.” Jim continued conversationally. “He’s kind of unsure about it right now, but he needs to end up on my one.”

“Have you been offered a captain’s position, Jim?” Spock asked, surprised.

“Nah, not yet, anyway. Someday, though. Someday.” Even just picturing it made him feel giddy inside. “It’s going to be brilliant. I’m going to get a sweet ass starship, have the best crew in Starfleet, and Bones is going to be my CMO, which he is going to love no matter what he says.”

“That is ambitious thinking.” Spock remarked.

“But not impossible.” Jim pointed out.

Spock inclined his head. “Leonard came across as extremely more reasonable than the previous medical professionals I have encountered, but I believe that is due to the fact that we did not meet in a scientific setting. He had quite the way of calming down T’Val.”

“Yeah, surprisingly he has a way with kids. And me.” Jim grinned. “Bones is always looking out for me. It gets overbearing sometimes, but it’s comforting to know if something ever happened to me I’d be in good hands.”

“It is fortunate to have such a friend so close at hand.”

“Maybe not for much longer,” Jim shrugged. “Bones is looking to move out of the apartment. The sooner the better, apparently.”

Spock frowned lightly. “Is he not satisfied at his current residence?”

“I don’t really know. I thought he was, but he says—“ Jim broke off with a sigh. “The thing is, Bones doesn’t actually live with me. He used to live with his wife and kid, but after the divorce he was forced to move out and so I offered up my place as a temporary residence. That was like eight months ago and I’ve loved having him stay with me… mostly. But Bones feels like he’s overstayed and so he wants to find a room to move into.”

“I see.” Spock said slowly, finally understanding the situation. “Once more, I have presumed incorrectly.”

“I don’t blame you. He’s basically my roommate, more so than my actual roommate.”

“You have another roommate?” Spock asked.

Jim let out a laugh. “Oh my God, I didn’t tell you? Yeah, I have another roommate. My _actual_ roommate, Gary. He’s… not gonna sugarcoat it, Spock, he’s a real douche.”

“It is an insult.” Spock inferred.

“Yep. I didn’t know it when I first moved in because you know, I was just looking for a room to rent, didn’t really care much for the roommate since I wouldn’t be hanging out too much. Gary didn’t seem bad at first, but after a few times of talking to him I realised he was quite… douche-y.”

“I do not believe that is a word.” Spock pointed out.

“You know Standard is weird, Spock, you teach Xenolinguistics. Don’t ever expect to properly understand the fluidity of it.”

Spock looked as if he wanted to argue, but held himself back. “Then you are displeased with your current living situation?”

“Yeah. I really want Bones to stay with me, but he wants to move out. It’s taking a long time too because it’s fucking difficult to find a room to rent in this city. I don’t know how long it’ll take him to find one, and Gary just keeps getting prissier the longer Bones stays.”

Spock had remained silent throughout Jim’s small rant, but at the end of it asked, “Have you considered cohabiting with Leonard? You say you dislike your current roommate, and it would be far simpler to find an apartment for two people as opposed to a single bedroom.”

Jim came to a sudden halt.

How the _fuck_ had he not thought of that?

He grinned brightly. “Spock, I could kiss you.”

The apples of Spock’s cheeks flushed green, and Jim chuckled to himself. Damn, that sure was a foolish thing to say right now, but he couldn’t help it. He was feeling too damn ecstatic. 

“Just a moment, Spock,” He said, fishing out his communicator. “I gotta send a message to Bones real quick.”

Jim brought up Bones name and opened up a new message to him.

_[To: Bones]  
Wanna shack up, hot stuff? ;)_

Having successfully sent it off, Jim pocketed his communicator and grinned at Spock. “You, are a genius.”

There was still a trace of green on his cheeks. He inclined his head, probably in thanks, and then they resumed their walking. 

Several moments of silence passed between them as they kept leisurely walking. They weren’t that far off from the tram stop now, just a couple of minutes before they reached it. Jim could hear the tell-tale noise of the swooshing trams pulling in and out of the station.

He looked to Spock, taking in the man’s profile with his sharp nose and pale skin. The wind was blowing up his hair slightly, but it was in its ever-present bowl cut. Jim swallowed, and managed to quickly muster up the courage and outright ask, “So, this whole mental compatibility thing you Vulcans have…”

Spock glanced at Jim, eyebrows rising in surprise.

“T’Val told me.” He said in lieu of explanation. “But not enough, to be honest. What is it?”

“Why do you wish to know?”

Jim could feel his cheeks reddening. “Aw, come on, Spock, don’t be like that.”

“Like how, Jim?”

Jim grumbled under his breath and looked down at his shoes. “I’m… curious.”

A moment of silence fell over them, then Spock explained, “Mental compatibility is a practice Vulcans undergo with their potential partners in order to gauge how well their minds match.”

“And how do you figure that?”

“It is entirely dependent on the individuals involved.”

Jim nodded slowly. “And what about you? Is mental compatibility important to you?”

“Extremely.”

“So you couldn’t date someone if you weren’t able to form a mental bond with them?”

Spock’s eyes briefly flickered over to Jim. “That is incorrect. It would be possible for me to have a partner whom I could not establish a mental bond with, as long as they are accepting of undergoing mind melds. After all, my mother and father did so, and as I told you earlier, they are _t’hy’la_.”

“Cool.” Jim nodded, then cleared his throat. “’Cus uh… I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’ve kind of been…” He gestured vaguely in the air, and he knew for sure that his face was flushing. “Interested in you lately.”

“I had noticed.” Spock acknowledged, and it was said in such a matter-of-fact way that Jim couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“That’s… alright, I guess I wasn’t as smooth as I thought.”

“Your unsubtlety is not entirely at fault, Jim. T’Val played a large role in me deciphering your interests.”

Jim narrowed his eyes at Spock. “It was the damn questionnaire, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” Spock confirmed.

Jim sighed. That damn questionnaire. He knew he shouldn’t have trusted her when she said Spock probably didn’t suspect anything. It had been to goddamn blatant asking him about his opinions on Jim, how in the hell would the guy not have noticed that there was some ulterior motive behind it?

“I love that girl, but sometimes she needs to mind her own business.”

“I agree, however, this time I must admit it was fortunate she got involved.”

Jim’s eyebrows jumped at the comment. “You’re _glad_ she did that?”

“To some extent. If T’Val had not made the true motive behind her actions so known, I would not have determined whether my interests were returned or not.”

“And what interest is that?” Jim asked cautiously.

Spock looked to him. “I am not certain yet.”

Jim held Spock’s gaze for several moments, then shook his head. A fond smile slid onto his lips. “You know, I was actually worried crazy about today. Bones kept referring to it as a date, and I guess it’s because of that that I was so off my game at the start.”

“I understand feeling unsettled when confronted with a truth you wish to deny.”

“Harsh.” Jim chuckled, then sobered up almost immediately. “So, um… you feel that way too? Because I’m sure what I’m feeling is romantic.”

“All I know is that I find myself attracted to you, Jim. However I would like to spend some more time in your company in order to discern whether I like you purely based on your appearance or your personality.”

Jim laughed at the bluntness of Spock’s words. He had to hand it to the guy, at least he was being honest. “Me too, man.”

They walked onto the tram platform, and straight away Jim spotted the familiar head of curls, this time pushed back from her face with a diadem. As they neared T’Val turned to face them. Jim saw something change in her face, and he swore there was a slight curve to her lips.

“Hey, T’Val,” Jim greeted as they came to a stop before her.

“Greetings, Jim. I see you have arrived with Spock today.” She replied, looking to the Vulcan. “I am glad you are romantically pursuing one another. How is it faring?”

Jim blushed to the roots of his hair, and groaned. “T’Val, seriously, man.” 

He chanced a glance at Spock and saw that the guy was blushing too. “It is none of your concern.” He told T’Val.

She frowned in return. “If Jim is to become your bondmate, I wish to—”

“Alright, alright!” Jim interrupted. “We’ll talk about this later, okay? Remind me that for our next lesson I need to teach you about Human courting customs and relationships, because I’m pretty sure they’re vastly different from Vulcans.”

“Indeed.“ Spock agreed.

T’Val looked as if she wanted to argue, but instead nodded. “I look forward to it.”

Jim caught his tram approaching in the distance, and quickly turned to tell Spock and T’Val goodbye before running to his platform. He just managed to just get onto the tram, sliding in before the doors closed on him. Jim immediately went and took a seat by the window, grateful that there weren’t that many people on at this time of the day. He watched the scenery rush past, blurs of grey and black interspersed with the occasional green and other colour. He spared a brief thought for T’Val, remembering the exchange that had taken place just before he had to run off. 

A grin made its way onto his face. She was a gem, that girl.


	17. Chapter 17

“Need a hand with those?” Jim asked, motioning at the cooler box and grocery bags in the back of the hovercar.

“I can manage.” Spock replied, lifting them all up single-handedly. Jim’s eyebrows jumped up.

“Show off.” He muttered, smirking at the look Spock shot him.

He watched the man walk off, the sound of Bones talking lowly with Joanna nothing more than background noise. 

Earlier that morning Bones had rented a hovercar for the weekend, and together with Jim they’d gone grocery shopping to pick up the essentials for their trip to the park. They’d planned on having a nice day out with the kids, going somewhere with a playground and where they could barbecue, and thankfully the weather was perfect for it. Clear, sunny skies with not a single cloud above; it was absolutely beautiful.

They already had skewers at home, as well as plastic cups and a cooler box which they would have to buy drinks for; beers for Jim and Bones, and fruit juice for the kids and Spock. But they also needed other things for the barbecue, such as meat, vegetables, paper plates, a disposable grill and maybe some snacks for the kids. Jim wanted to buy quite literally a trolley full of unhealthy snacks that would probably have Spock very disappointed in him, but Bones didn’t let him, not wanting the girls to spoil their appetite.

“Why buy all this food if they’re not even going to eat it? Think it through, Jim.” He chided.

“Spoilsport.” Jim pouted, but went to return all the snacks save a bag of popcorn. Non-salted, because T’Val’s palate couldn’t handle too strongly flavoured food. Actually, maybe popcorn wasn’t the best choice since they’d have to eat it with their hands. Jim put the popcorn back as well and instead bought two small blueberry cheesecake cups, each of them coming with their own plastic spoon. There was also less chance of a mess being left all over their hands and clothes.

…Hopefully.

Once they’d finished their shopping trip, Bones had driven over to Jocelyn’s where he’d gone to pick up Joanna, leaving Jim in the car as a fight would most definitely break out if he and his ex-wife crossed paths. Jim decided to put on some music while he waited, switching through the stations until he found something he didn’t know the tune to but liked the beat of. He’d been drumming along on the dashboard for several minutes when he saw Bones and Joanna emerge from the building, a duffle bag packed full stuff strapped over Bones’ shoulder.

As soon as Jo saw her uncle Jimmy she let out a squeal, running to his side of the hovercar despite Bones’ shout to ‘ _be careful, Jojo!_ ’. Jim had hastily opened up his door and engulfed the little firecracker in a great, big hug, delighting in her attempt at returning the hold. Try as she might, her strength was nothing compared to his, but her excitement at seeing him definitely rivalled his in exuberance.

She instantly began talking a mile a minute, telling Jim about how they’d drawn leaves in art class, and how another girl had drawn a rainbow coloured one which was really pretty, continuing to chatter on as Bones steered her to the backseat, clicked in her seatbelt, then went to dispose the duffel bag in the boot of the hovercar before getting back into the driver’s seat.

“Jojo, you’ve just met Uncle Jimmy for over a minute and you’re already bleeding out your life story.” He chided.

“It’s fine,” Jim grinned. “I’m pretty sure Jojo was born for talking, and she does a great job at it. Right?” He peered over his shoulder at the little rascal in the backseat.

“Right!” Joanna agreed loudly, grinning. Jim saw there was a gap in her neat row of teeth.

“What happened to your teeth?” Jim asked in concern, tapping at his own for emphasis.

Joanna jumped into her explanation just as Bones started the hovercar, driving away to go pick up Spock and T’Val. The whole ride over was filled with Joanna sharing her story about her lost tooth, and by the time they reached Spock’s building Jim had learnt more about her dental hygiene than he ever wanted to know. Still, he kept nodding along to her words, constantly surprised at how much she had to say; she was nine years old, it wasn’t as if that much happened in her life, but Jojo always shared her stories as if they were the most fantastic epics the world would ever hear of.

Bones pulled up to the side of the road, and Jim saw that Spock and T’Val were already outside with their own bag of groceries in hand. Jim guessed it was vegetables they liked, which was good, since he and Bones had sort of haphazardly filled the cart with whatever they thought might taste nice grilled. Basically, they’d just picked out tomatoes and eggplants.

Jim opened his side door, but Spock told him, “It is not necessary for you to help.”

Jim blinked up at the guy, then nodded. “Sure thing.”

He shut his door, and watched as Spock rounded the back of the hovercar and opened up the boot, placing the bag in with the rest before closing it once more. He then went to the backseat and opened the door, ushering T’Val in first before sliding in next to her.

Immediately Joanna rushed into a flurry of words, expressing her elation at finally being able to meet actual Vulcans. Her energy was palpable, and Jim couldn’t help himself from smiling. He shared a look with Bones, a look that said they both knew how his little girl got when she got excited, and the two Vulcans were in for a ride. Literally.

It took about twenty minutes for them to reach the park, and for the entire way there Joanna had been keeping up the bulk of the conversation between all five occupants of the hovercar. Jim could hear Jo’s glee when she spoke to T’Val, who would sometimes add in a thing or two to the conversation. It was interesting, hearing the differences in their manner of talking. Whereas Jo’s speech was fast and jumbled and she’d always trip over her words, T’Val’s was slow and measured, much more reminiscent of that of an academic. It really highlighted how different she was from Human children, and again, Jim couldn’t help thinking that they raised them a certain way on Vulcan.

He didn’t know if he approved or not, but he knew that he really loved T’Val, so maybe they were doing something right.

Jim peered in the rear-view mirror and saw that Spock kept staring out the window, his face expressionless. Jim wasn’t sure if he and T’Val had made up entirely, but so far he didn’t get any vibes from them that indicated they were on bad terms. Maybe they were just feeling quiet today, or maybe Jo’s chattering didn’t allow for them to get a word in edgewise. Either way, he hoped they’d made up somewhat.

Once Bones had rolled up into the parking lot, the adults had instantly got to work. There was so much to do with finding a good place to make camp, moving all their stuff over, setting up the grill, preparing the food, and so much more. Joanna had snagged Bones’ attention, pulling at his arm and begging him to bring out her stuffed hedgehog, Noodles. Bones acquiesced and got to rifling through the overnight duffel bag for her toy, leaving Jim and Spock to carry everything from the boot over to where they would be sitting.

Jim had decided on that they should make base underneath a nice, shady tree, since he knew Jo and Bones both loved the sun, but Jim couldn’t sit under it for too long without getting sunburn on his nose. It was the strangest thing; the rest of his body was actually quite tan compared to other white people, but his face just had some sort of beef with the sun. It was really irritating.

Glancing at Spock he saw the guy had already begun removing the skewers and food from the grocery bags. Jim bet Vulcans didn’t sunburns, what with having grown up on a desert planet. It really was unfair since Spock was paler than him. How was that possible?

“Are you well, Jim?” Spock asked, breaking Jim out of his thoughts.

“Sorry?” Jim blinked, then recovered, “Yeah, I am. Sorry, I was just… Not important. Do you want to get started on the food right away?”

“Perhaps we can ready the grill for now.”

Jim nodded. “I’m on it.”

He got about setting up the disposal grill, preparing it for the barbecue: vegetables for T’Val and Spock, and sausage and chicken kebobs for the rest. Bones had joined them not long after, and he and Spock had taken on the task of sliding meat and veggies onto the skewers. T’Val and Joanna trailed after and set up camp nearby where they were playing with Noodles, Joanna loudly making things up as she went along, and T’Val looked as if she were keeping up with Jojo’s imagination. Safe to say, Jim was proud of the little Vulcan lady.

“You manage to talk to T’Val’s dad?” Jim asked Spock.

“I have not. I will do so during our weekly video transmissions when he is free to converse.”

“Think he’ll let T’Val stay on Earth?” Jim asked, worry colouring his tone. He’d gotten damn fond of the little lady and didn’t want her to leave. Sure, it was her dad asking for her to come back, but _still_.

“I am hoping T’Val’s insistence that she is happy on Earth as well as not letting her grades slip will convince him that she should be allowed to remain.”

Jim nodded. “Hopefully.” Once the grill started warming up he stepped back, letting it heat up for a bit longer.

“I intend to tell my father not to worry as I am under the guidance of Spock, the only Vulcan who has scored the highest in the VSA entrance exams and also denied acceptance to it.” T’Val added, looking to them.

Spock’s cheeks turned green at the compliment, and Jim couldn’t help but grin. “Well don’t you just have a way with words.”

Joanna dropped Noodles and stood from where she was sat, then walked up to Jim. She began pulling on his trouser leg, and whined, “Swings!”

“Swings!” Jim whined right back, hauling her into his arms. 

“Hang on, Jim, I’ll come with you too.” Bones said, standing up. He looked to Spock and said, “I’ve finished the meat, you okay with finishing off the vegetables on your own?”

“I can manage.” Spock replied.

Bones nodded and followed Jim over to the swing sets, T’Val trailing along at his side. Jim placed Jo onto one of the swings, Bones doing the same with T’Val, and together they spent some time pushing the girls on the swings. They seemed to be having a great time if Jo’s peals of laughter was anything to go by, but it was a damn challenge for Jim not to laugh every time T’Val swung back into his vision, face as blank as a board.

“Higher! Higher!” Joanna insisted, pushing her legs into the air whenever she swung up. The girl looked to be having the time of her life, and Jim was pretty sure swinging high was about to make the top of Jo’s obsessions list. Move over caps on bottles.

After a few minutes of non-stop pushing Jim felt himself tire, but the girls didn’t seem to want to get off. Thankfully Bones had no qualms about interrupting their fun.

“Alright, that’s enough.” He said, rubbing at his shoulder.

“No!” Jo wailed, looking over at her dad. “More!”

“No, Jojo, he can’t do it anymore,” Jim told her, sounding forlorn, “He’s an old man with an old body, he can only do so much.”

Bones surreptitiously gave him the finger and Jim barked out a laugh.

“But I want to swing more…” Jo whined. Her swing was slowly losing force and coming to a slow halt.

“Later, darling.” Bones told her, and went to kiss her on the forehead.

Jim was about to ask T’Val if she was okay with stopping their swinging session for a while, but saw her gaze was locked on something else entirely. Her eyes were trailing an old woman dressed in a long coat holding a leash, and at the end of the leash a tabby cat was padding along.

Jim grinned and turned to Joanna. “Jo, why don’t you and T’Val go ask the nice lady if you can pet the kitty?”

“What kitty?” Jo asked, frowning.

“It is there.” T’Val said, pointing at the animal.

“Oh!” Jo exclaimed when she finally spotted it. “Yes! Let’s go!” She instantly jumped off her swing and ran towards the cat and its owner. T’Val stepped down from her own swing, then threw Jim a grateful look before hurrying after Joanna.

Jim watched them go, wondering if he should maybe buy T’Val a kitten for her birthday. Or maybe something else Spock would be okay with keeping in his apartment. He should probably also check when her birthday was. He hoped he hadn’t missed it.

“I’m gonna go help Spock with the barbecue.” Bones announced.

“Sure,” Jim nodded, keeping his eyes on the girls. He saw them slow down as they approached the old woman and cat. Jo looked to be doing most of the talking, her gestures wide and open in comparison to T’Val’s calm demeanour. It really was damn amusing to observe the differences in them. They were just two kids, but worlds apart. Literally.

Jim saw the old woman nod, and both Jo and T’Val crouched down and held their hands out to the cat. The cat stretched its neck and sniffed carefully at their outstretched fingers, then must’ve deemed them acceptable because it pushed its head up against T’Val’s hand. The girls took to petting the cat along its flank and scruff, doing so gently as to not scare it off.

Thinking they could handle themselves here, Jim headed off to join Spock and Bones at the barbecue. As he neared he saw that they’d already started grilling some of the skewers, an equal amount of done chicken kebobs and veggies set aside on a paper plate.

“How’re you guys holding up?” He asked as he took a seat next to Spock.

“It is no hardship.” Spock replied, turning one of the skewers on the grill. 

“Good, good.”

Bones reached over to the cooler, popped the head open and pulled out two cans of beer. He held one of the cans out to Jim in question.

“Thanks.” Jim said, taking the can and opening it.

Just as he’d taken his first sip of the beverage, the sound of padding feet came from behind him. He glanced back and saw Jo and T’Val fast approaching.

“Done already?” He asked them.

“Yeah, the lady was busy.” Jo told him, coming to a stop.

“She was on her way to meet an acquaintance.” T’Val filled in.

“At least you got to pet the kitty.” Bones told them. “How was it?”

“It was so soft, daddy!” Jo grinned, ambling over to her dad. “And it purred too! Not when I pet it, but when T’Val did it. It was like a old motorbike.”

“That’s amazing, darling.” Bones said with a slow smile. “You know cats only purr when they like someone? You girls can count yourselves lucky.”

“Yep!”

As Bones had spoken, Jim had fished out the wet wipes from one of the bags. “Hands out, ladies.”

Jo grumbled, but obediently held out her hands when T’Val did so. Usually she’d make a bit of a fuss, but today she seemed to be more reserved. Maybe T’Val was a good influence. Jim wondered if the vice versa would happen. He’d not seen her pick up on any of Jo’s loud habits, but maybe if they hung out enough she eventually would.

“Daddy, did you know I speak cat?” Jo said suddenly.

Bones’ eyebrows rose. “I did not. How’d you figure that?”

“Because when we were petting the kitty, I meowed at it, and it meowed back at me.”

“You should conduct a study on it.” T’Val told her.

“I think I will! But not now, because I’m hungry.” Jo replied, dragging her hands down her shirt.

“Jojo, don’t do that, we just cleaned your hands.” Bones tutted, pulling them away.

“But it’s wet, daddy.” Jo frowned. “I don’t like it.”

“Alright, alright, let’s just dry them with some paper towels.” Bones responded, searching in one of the bags for a roll. He found it and broke off two pieces, handing one each to Jo and T’Val.

“Thank you.” T’Val said, accepting the paper towel.

“Thanks, dad.” Joanna echoed.

“You’re welcome.” Bones returned.

T’Val was looking at Jo with a mild look of confusion. “Why do you refer to your father as both ‘dad’ and ‘daddy’?”

“Because,” Jo returned, “He’s my dad.”

“But why do you call him two names?”

“What?”

“You call him ‘daddy’ and ‘dad’. Why?”

“Because he’s my dad?” Jo asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

Bones took the crumpled paper towels from the girls, disposing of them in an empty plastic bag which would be the bin bag for the day.

“You do not have a second father?” T’Val inquired, tilting her head.

“No… I only have one dad.” Jo frowned.

“I see.”

“How many do you have?”

”I have three fathers.”

Jim chuckled. “Where did you get three fathers from, T’Val?”

She looked up at Jim, and bluntly declared, “I have my biological father, Spock as my parental guardian, and you, as Spock’s future bondmate.”

A beat passed, and suddenly Jim felt his face drastically heating up. From the way Bones had suddenly hunched over in raucous laughter he was certain it showed, but he was too stunned by T’Val’s words to tell him off. God, Bones was such a bastard. 

“That’s…” Jim argued weakly, wiping at his cheeks. Damn, they even felt hot.

The sound of footsteps approaching interrupted their— well, chat, he supposed— and Jim looked back to see that Spock had come to a stop behind him.

“The food is ready.” He announced, addressing the group as a whole.

Jim nodded in acknowledgement, his blush worsening.

Spock raised one eyebrow. “Is something the matter?”

Jim shook his head and murmured ‘nothing’, but it came out rather incomprehensible. He looked to Spock, and thought that this is a man that had been deemed good enough to be adopted as T’Val’s second dad. The thought made him smile, and he reckoned it was absolutely okay if he gave Spock a kiss.

He could hear Joanna let out a long-drawn ‘ _ewwww!_ ’ somewhere in the background, but with the way Spock blushed green he really didn’t care.

*

Spock was in his room, sat at his desk and working on re-writing his preferred schedule for the next semester. Starfleet academy had sent out an e-mail to all instructors at the institution and informed them that they were required to hand in their schedules before December 20th. Spock knew that the sooner one sent in their schedule, the higher the chance was that the teaching council would attempt to work the other instructors’ schedules around that one, and so he had started on his right away.

He had almost completed his preferred classes for Thursdays when there was a quiet knock on his door.

He looked up and called, “Enter.”

The door was pushed open a sliver, and T’Val stepped into the room. She shut the door behind her, then offered a nod in greeting. “Spock.”

“T’Val.” Spock returned.

T’Val crossed her hands behind her back, a habit Spock was certain she had picked up from him. It was oddly gratifying seeing echoes of his own behaviour in her. 

T’Val hesitated for a moment, then declared, “I wish to change my surname to Morimoto.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead. A brief silence passed between them, then he asked, “What brought you to this decision?”

T’Val dove right into her explanation, and it was clear that she had prepared it beforehand. “As you know, I am half-Human, and more specifically half-Egyptian in ethnicity. My mother however was adopted by her Japanese parents, and took on their surname. I therefore believe it is right that I properly honour my mother’s heritage, and as I already bear a Vulcan name, it is only logical that my surname be altered to that of my mother’s.” T’Val paused, then quietly said, “I am neither Vulcan nor Human, but both.”

Spock inclined his head. “It is an honourable decision.” 

He truly respected her choice to alter her surname, as she appeared to have put much thought and time into it. It was clear from her reasoning that it was important to her, and if she had informed Spock of this it meant that she must trust him on some level. He felt relieved at the notion.

It had been a stressful few days since her ‘temper tantrum’ as Leonard and Jim had referred to it, and it had been the first time since she came to stay with Spock that she had deliberately avoided him. Spock could admit that it unsettled him to extreme degrees, and he had been unsure as to how he should approach her. He was worried that if he acted erroneously he would only send her further away from him, and the thought scared him far more than he had believed possible.

“You believe so?” T’Val asked, uncertainty leaking into her voice.

“I do.” Spock assured her. “I cannot help but wonder if I would have done the same as you when I was your age.”

“Spock Grayson.”

“Indeed.”

“There is still time.” T’Val told him.

“There is, but I have become too attached to my name now.”

T’Val nodded in acknowledgement, then said, “Spock, today at the park Joanna inquired as to how many fathers I had. I informed her I had three.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow. “That is untrue.”

“Not precisely.” T’Val argued. “I have my biological father, which most would agree to be my one and only father, but I also consider you my father as you have taken me into your home and cared for me as if I were part of your own family. I feel… at home with you.” T’Val looked nervous, wringing her hands in her clothes. “I wish to establish a parental bond with you.”

Spock’s eyebrows jumped, the only indication of his surprise. His mouth went suddenly dry, but he still managed to ask, “Are you certain?”

T’Val immediately responded. “Affirmative.”

Spock sat stock still in his chair, his mind attempting to parse out what had just been confirmed. 

T’Val had asked to establish a parental bond with him. She had wished for it. She had initiated it. From this progression Spock could only conclude that she was no longer sore with him, which caused a great rush of relief to fall over him. In fact, T’Val seemed to consider him as someone of such high importance, and who meant so much to her, that she wished for them to be mentally linked.

Spock could not contain his elation. He felt a warmth explode through him and rush through his veins, shooting out to every single part of his body. It felt as if his heart had suddenly increased thrice in speed as a strong feeling of affection coursed through him.

Spock nodded slowly, eyes alight. “I am beyond pleased at your decision.”

A small smile graced T’Val’s lips and she bowed.

A sudden thought occurred to Spock. “You said you had three fathers.”

“Indeed.”

“Who is the third father?”

“Jim Kirk.” T’Val replied plainly.

“Jim?” Spock asked, confused.

“If he is to be your future bondmate it will make him my father.” She explained.

Spock felt his cheeks grow warm, and he told her, “That is inaccurate.”

“It is not.”

“Jim is not my bondmate.” Spock stressed.

“But you wish him to be.”

Spock hesitated, then responded, “My bondmate is whoever will have the highest mental compatibility with me.”

There was a beat of silence, then T’Val intoned, “ _I_ want Jim to be your bondmate.”

“The decision is not yours to make.” He told her firmly.

T’Val pouted, a very Human gesture, but Spock decided not to comment on it. She already looked rather ruffled over the topic of the conversation, and he didn’t wish to upset her any further. 

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that every argument they had had in the past in regards to Jim T’Val had won, and so Spock deemed it futile to get started. Nothing at all.

[](http://s346.photobucket.com/user/iknewaman/media/Jojo_zpsqh46lhju.jpg.html)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to you all! :D Hope 2017 will be waaaaay better than 2016, and please, drink responsibly and make good choices!
> 
> Also, in my mind Jocelyn is Asian-American, so I tried to draw Joanna as half-Asian but not sure if you can tell. Just use your imagination, folks! :P


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a nice few days for Bones and Jim, what with having Joanna over for the weekend and spending some quality time together, but now it was time for them to actually get some serious business done.

True to his word, Jim had tried to keep an eye out for any potential rooms that seeking tenants, but since they’d decided that it’d be better to just rent an apartment in itself his knowledge was useless now. He hadn’t had that much time to look anything up since he’d been juggling his lessons with T’Val, this very new thing with Spock, and his own classes, and so the extent of his search was checking the academy’s bulletin board for potential apartments. Sadly, there was nothing.

Bones, however, had done his job. He’d been browsing online whenever he had free time in between his classes and had come across several apartment listings. Forwarding them to Jim, he’d highlighted the ones that were within their preferred price range, and asked Jim to write messages to the landlords since he was better at formal writing. They’d received a few replies, some stating that the apartment was off the market, and others saying it was still available and if they wanted to they could come for a viewing.

Bones and Jim absolutely wanted to, and had put aside a day where their main objective was to view all the available apartments they were interested in and hopefully, _hopefully_ , find one they liked.

Most of them were actually located further from the academy than the apartment they currently lived in, but if they had to wake up earlier in the morning just to make it in time for class, then so be it. At least they’d have an apartment of their own.

Most of them were semi-furnished, including things like beds, wardrobes, a kitchen table and chairs, but not much else, which meant they’d have to go furniture shopping, which meant even _more_ money to spend. Jim and Bones decided that they would focus on the fully-furnished ones first, and then see if they were worth the rent before checking out the semi-furnished ones. With a half-formed plan in mind, they went off.

Between the two of them, Bones and Jim had put together a list of things that were absolutely essential for their apartment to have, and if it didn’t have any of those things they wouldn’t even think about renting it. 

First off, it was important that the windows were double-glazed, because if they were single-glazed the cold could easily seep in from outside, and it’d probably cost them a small fortune in utilities if they had to constantly keep the heating on in order to combat that.

Secondly, it absolutely needed working hot water, and Bones was adamant that they talk to the previous tenants and also a few neighbours in the building to see how the water pressure worked. It would’ve been easier to just ask the landlord, but Bones reasoned that since their main aim was to lease their property they might lie in order to do so.

The third thing that they needed their apartment to have was doors. Now Jim would admit that he found that requirement pretty damn weird, but then Bones had regaled him of tales of his first apartment he’d found online and leased without going to a viewing first, and the damn rooms had no doors. The concept of privacy apparently didn’t exist in the landlord’s world because there were five people in the apartment and no damn doors. It was utter hell. Thankfully the lease was short-term so Bones didn’t have to spend years living there, but it was still three long months of uncomfortableness.

So those were the three essentials they needed their apartment to have.

...Well, almost all the essentials.

“We also need soundproof walls so I don’t have to listen to you and that Vulcan going at it all night.” Bones commented idly, ambling through to the kitchen. 

“We’re not even together yet, oh my God!” Jim complained, trailing after him.

The apartment they were currently viewing was located about a forty-five minute tram ride from the academy. It was pretty far, but they wouldn’t have to make a change anywhere so at least they could sleep on the tram in the mornings. Size-was it wasn’t the best, having two very small bedrooms but a rather large living room. Jim personally would have preferred a bigger bedroom since he needed his alone time now and again, but the living room would be good if they held any parties or events.

Bones took a gander around the kitchen, then turned to Jim with a grimace. “It’s not great.”

“Yeah,” Jim agreed, nodding. The kitchen was too cramped to move about comfortably in which was a shame since it looked to have been newly renovated. “Not a great start to the apartment hunting in general.”

Bones let out an aggravated sigh. “Please let it only get better.”

They made it through two apartments in dodgy neighbourhoods, one with mould growing in the ceiling with the landlord vehemently denied was mould, and another apartment with walls so thin that you could hear the neighbour sneezing before they found one that was actually pretty decent.

It was a two bedroom apartment, of course, with good-sized bedrooms in Jim’s opinion. Although the living room wasn’t very spacious, the kitchen was pretty good, and the bathroom had a bathtub which was a definite plus. It also checked all the boxes on their admittedly very short requirements list, and it was just a half hour from the academy which was the same amount of time it took them now.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough, meeting Bones and Jim’s rather low standards. The landlord too seemed friendly enough, a Bolian who jokingly asked them to call her ‘Missus Boss’, and between the three of them they managed to work out a possible lease. They still needed to discuss things, like how long Bones and Jim were planning on staying and how their credit score was like, but it looked to be a pretty sealed deal.

The two of them decided to celebrate by having lunch together at Moon Thai Kitchen, a Thai restaurant which Bones was pretty sure he’d last visited ten months ago when Jim took him out for his birthday. They’d had takeout from the place a few times, but it really had been a while since they’d actually sat in the restaurant.

“Just as good as I remember it,” Bones hummed, taking another bite of his Pad Thai noodles.

“Well if we get this apartment we’ll be able to eat here pretty regularly, it’s like, what? A ten minute walk away?” Jim mused.

“Seven.” Bones corrected, taking a sip of his water.

Jim rolled his eyes, but a teasing smile made its way onto his lips. “Oh, I’m ever so sorry. Please forgive my discrepancies, your Highness.”

“I’ll think about it.” Bones returned, digging back into his food.

Jim’s smile widened, appreciating how he’d chosen an absolute fantastic human being to be his friend. Fair enough, Bones did pretty much speak in angry tones near constantly with Jim and insulted him on a daily basis, but _still_ , fantastic.

Jim returned to eating his own meal, starting by shovelling the soup into his mouth while it was still hot. The following moments at the table were quiet save for the sound of food being chewed and Jim’s spoon ladling the soup.

All of a sudden Bones put down his chopsticks and looked at Jim who frowned in return. He took on a determined tone and said, “I want you to be completely honest with me, Jim.” 

Jim halted with his glass half way to his mouth. He looked to his friend, a light frown marring his face. Bones looked awful severe right now, and with the way he’d abruptly asked the question it made an uneasy feeling come over Jim.

“How serious are you about Spock?”

Jim let out a relieved sigh. “Damn it, Bones, I thought you were going to ask me to do something illegal, like help you hide a body or something.”

Bones shook his head, still with that intent look on his face. “I’m serious, Jim. I’ve seen how attached you are to him, and you’ve just gotten involved romantically.”

“So?” Jim asked, taking a gulp of his drink before putting down again.

“So, what will happen in the future?”

Jim quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean do you guys have long term commitments? How are you going to handle the situation with T’Val? What about when you finish Starfleet, what then?” Bones barraged on.

“Bones, please. Calm down a bit, will you? It’s early days yet, we’re just figuring things out now.” Jim said, trying to ease his friend’s worries.

“You don’t do things by halves, Jim. You feel too strongly, and that Vulcan is the complete opposite.” Bones brought up.

Jim wanted to argue on that point, but he realised that he hadn’t really seen evidence of Spock getting too emotional. He definitely had feelings, but probably didn’t feel them to the extent Jim did.

“It’ll be fine, Bones, honestly.” Jim assured his friend. “We haven’t talked about long-term commitments yet, but we hopefully will _if_ we find we want to keep seeing each other. I told you how for Vulcans the whole mental compatibility thing is super important; I can’t tell you anything solid until we find that out first.”

“And when will that be?” Bones inquired.

“Whenever Spock’s comfortable with trying it.” Jim replied easily.

Bones nodded in approval. “Alright, fine; so you can’t tell me about your guys’ relationship. But what about T’Val?”

Again, Jim raised an eyebrow. “What about T’Val?”

“If you and Spock get together, and you end up dating for real, T’Val would absolutely be part of the deal. He’s essentially her parent, Jim, and you can’t expect a guy to just give up their kid when dating someone. Would you accept her too?”

Jim reared his head back, a look of utter confusion on his face. “What kind of dumbass question is that? Of course I’d accept T’Val too!” He retorted, indignant. “She’s fucking awesome, and anyone who can’t see that has got to be blind, deaf and dumb.”

There was a drawn-out silence where Bones levelled him with a tense stare. 

Suddenly the man grinned and lazily said, “I look forward to our kids growing up together.”

Jim blinked at him, thrown off by the abrupt change in his friend’s demeanour. Honestly, he had no idea that was a thing he wanted, but now that it was on the table he was super fucking excited for it.

*

Spock wasn’t someone prone to oversharing every single detail or event that occurred in his life, but after his latest conversation with T’Val he felt the need to call his mother and inform her of the recent developments in his life.

He was sat at his desk as usual, his PADD propped up and already calling his mother. It tended to take a bit longer for the call to go through since she lived on another planet, but it didn’t take longer than a couple of seconds before Amanda answered. Her face showed up clearly on the screen, hair tied back low and her brown eyes alight.

“Spock,” She greeted, a smile already on her lips. “I’m so glad to hear from you.”

It had been a while since they had last spoken. Spock would in actuality regularly speak with his mother, often scheduling their video transmissions during the weekend as it was when they were both free to speak. However, during the times where she and his father would be located on another planet due to Sarek’s job, they would not converse as often due to problems such as scheduling, time difference, or connectivity issues hindering them from being able to speak. It was most aggravating as Spock highly enjoyed their video transmissions.

“It has been quite a while. How are you?” He asked.

“Oh, not so bad. Still stuck on Palmed for now, but that’ll change soon since your father is just about to finish up his business here.”

“The negotiations went well?”

“As well as you can expect when negotiating with those damn Palmedian soldiers.” Amanda huffed.

“Mother.” Spock chided.

“What?”

“Do not be xenophobic.”

“I wasn’t being xenophobic; I said Palmedian _soldiers_ , not Palmedians. Honestly Spock, you’re so poor of hearing I think you’ve forgotten to clean out your ears.” She teased.

“My ears are clean.”

“That’s my boy.” Amanda smiled fondly.

“Do you know when you will be travelling home?”

“We’ll be heading back to Vulcan in about a weeks’ time. It’s a permanent stay now, and the only times we’ll travel is when your father has business on Earth. It’s becoming more frequent now and I’ve decided I’m going to go with him every time. Actually, the first trip is going to be to Cape Town and I’m planning on visiting Latisha and her wives when we head over there; do you want to come visit as well, Spock?”

“Unfortunately I will be preoccupied with duties at the academy up until December.” Spock told her.

Amanda smiled softly. “I understand. Well, whenever you’re free in the future just let me know, okay? I’d like to come and visit you sometime.”

“I am more than amenable to that suggestion.”

“That’s good.” She nodded. “So tell me, how’re things with you?”

Spock felt a flash of thrill shoot through him before revealing, “T'Val has asked to develop a parental bond with me, and I have accepted.”

“Oh my, that’s wonderful news, Spock! Oh, I’m so proud of you!” Amanda exclaimed, clapping her hands together gleefully. 

Spock observed his mother’s obvious excitement and thought that if he were more expressive his reaction would have mirrored hers. She looked to be extremely delighted on his behalf, and Spock believed it was because she had never developed a parental bond with him due to the fact that she was Human, and therefore psinull. Spock couldn’t help but feel that to some level he had missed out on something with Amanda when compared to other Vulcan children and their mothers. But then he would recall how she had not let her psinull status deter her from being the best mother he could have ever hoped for, and he counted himself luckier than any of his peers.

Amanda was still very much giddy. “How did this happen? Tell me everything!”

Spock eagerly started in on the story, telling her about how they had gone to the park with a few friends of theirs, and how T’Val had told them she considered Spock to be a second father to her. He told her about how afterwards T’Val had sought him out and explained to him that she appreciated his efforts with her in all aspects of her care, and after she had revealed her intention to alter her surname asked if Spock would be willing to establish a parental bond.

All throughout his explanation his mother had been intently listening, nodding along at times to show she was following.

“Oh, Spock,” Amanda smiled tenderly. “I’m so glad this has happened to you. You’ve spoken about T’Val so much and been so proud over her and her accomplishments, I’m just happy to know she thinks just as highly of you.” 

“It is indeed a comforting thought.” Spock agreed, a flutter of approval going through his chest.

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden knock on Spock’s bedroom door, and he knew it could no one else but the subject of their conversation.

“Enter.” He called, and watched as the door opened and T’Val poked her head into the room. 

“Are you occupied?” She asked.

“Presently, yes.” Spock told her. “T’Val, come here.”

T’Val slipped into the room, leaving the door slightly open, and padded over to Spock’s side.

“My, my, look how gorgeous your hair is, sweetie!” Amanda exclaimed suddenly, and T’Val looked to the source of the voice. 

“Amanda.” She acknowledged, a small smile grazing her lips.

Spock looked at the PADD and saw there was a wide smile on Amanda’s face, her brown eyes glimmering and focused entirely on T’Val. His mother did always get overly maternal when confronted with children, regardless of species, and her behaviour often reminded Spock of how she used to treat him when he was a child.

“Nyota assisted me.” T’Val told Amanda, bringing a hand to gently touch at her hair which was currently braided close to her scalp. 

“Well it looks absolutely beautiful. Tell Nyota she did a wonderful job.” Amanda said kindly.

“I will do so the next time we meet.” T’Val promised.

“That’s good.” Amanda nodded. Her smile suddenly widened. “I heard someone wants to develop a parental bond with my boy.”

T’Val blushed slightly. “That is accurate.”

“T’Val, I’m so happy to hear that. Truly. I’m certain there’s no one better to develop a parental bond with.”

“You are speaking from a biased perspective, mother.” Spock interjected.

“It still doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. You’ve even got evidence right there in the form of little lovely T’Val.” Amanda countered, motioning at the little lady.

Spock felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him, and his mother must have noticed because her eyes softened. “Don’t doubt yourself so, Spock. I’m sure you’ll be a great parent.”

Spock still felt slightly abashed, but inclined his head. “Thank you.”

Amanda offered her own nod in return, then turned to T’Val. “And again, T’Val, well done on picking Spock to establish your parental bond with. You certainly make some excellent choices.” Her eyes were shimmering with amusement.

“It is because I wished to have a parental bond with as many of my fathers as I could.” T’Val explained.

“As many of your fathers? How many have you got, sweetie?” Amanda chuckled.

“I have three. My biological father, Spock, and Jim.”

Spock stilled.

“Who is Jim?” Amanda asked, frowning slightly.

T’Val turned to Spock, face as expressionless as a board. “Who is Jim, Spock?”

For the first time in Spock’s life his mind went blank. Completely and utterly blank. 

He could not think up of a reply to that question which would sate both his mother’s curiosity and involve him not telling the truth. The notion of lying didn’t even cross his mind, it was something he’d never done or would, let alone to his own mother.

“Spock?” Amanda prompted.

Holding back a sigh, Spock steeled himself for his mother’s reaction and started in on telling her about the surprise that was Jim Kirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :) So I’m thinking of posting another fic in the future, but thing is it’s a oneshot, and like most of my oneshots it’s hella long. Would you prefer to read all 90-100 pages of it or should I split it into 2/3 chapters?


	19. Chapter 19

Jim was pretty nervous about tonight.

It wasn’t as if it was his and Spock’s first time going on a date, but he’d actually arranged to reveal a bit of surprise towards the end of the night. He really hoped Spock would like it. Jim was pretty sure he would, but there was still a niggling doubt at the back of his mind reminding him that there always was a small, teeny, tiny, almost non-existent possibility of things going bad. 

Jim hated that voice.

Gary was visiting family in San Diego for the week, so luckily Spock and Jim had the entire apartment to themselves. Bones had made himself scarce by volunteering to watch over T’Val for the night, walking out of the flat about an hour before Spock was due to come over and leaving Jim to finish off prepping his food in peace.

He and Spock had gone out on dates a few times before, to places like museums, the park, even dinner, and they’d always been easy-going and enjoyable. Well, Jim had enjoyed them. He couldn’t know for sure whether Spock did, but he kept setting up more dates so he probably liked Jim to some extent. 

It was strange how often Jim would think about that, whether Spock liked him or not. He felt like he was thirteen all over again where he needed constant validation from his girlfriend at the time that she still liked him. Now he was a mostly grown adult, but it seemed those kind of thoughts still stayed with him. Jim wasn’t going to lie, it was damn frustrating. But then he’d think about how much he’d actually changed since he was thirteen and thought that, yeah, alright, he didn’t turn out too bad.

Spock came knocking on the door just as Jim had set the tray of lasagne into the oven, and he quickly removed his oven mitts before going to let Spock in. 

Jim was pretty sure he’d never get over how damn good Spock looked decked out in all black. He wore tight black trousers that hugged his thighs and long legs, and a turtleneck wrapped snugly around his torso. If Jim had the time he’d spend the entire evening just looking Spock up and down while thinking ‘ _damn, son_ ’ in his mind, but he had other plans for tonight.

“Hey,” Jim greeted with a slow smile, leaning over to peck Spock on the lips. Spock returned the kiss briefly, then pulled away.

“Hello, Jim.” He replied, voice warm.

“Come on in,” Jim said, opening the door further. Spock stepped past Jim and made his way further into the apartment, leaving Jim to shut the door and follow after him.

Spock turned to Jim and declared, “You are making dinner.”

Jim’s smile broadened. “Yep. Vegetarian lasagne, something we both like. Veggies for you, Italian for me.”

“How very practical.” Spock commented.

Jim shrugged. “Well, you know me.”

“Extremely unpractical.”

Jim let out a startled laugh and clapped Spock on the shoulder. “Good clapback. I’m proud of you. Come on, I just put the lasagne in so we’ve got plenty of time before we need to eat. You want anything to drink?”

“No, thank you.” Spock replied.

Jim gave him a smile. “Alright. If you don’t mind I’m going to check on the dish real quick. I just want to see how it’s doing.”

Spock nodded in response, and Jim took that as meaning it was completely okay for him to go into the kitchen and hunch over slightly as he peered through the oven door, the heat inside blurring up the lasagne a bit. He knew it needed to cook for some more time, but it was sort of a habit of his, regularly checking anything in the oven. Jim heard footsteps approaching and glanced back, watching as Spock ambled into the kitchen. 

“You good?” He asked casually.

“Nothing is amiss.” Spock responded.

Jim quirked an eyebrow, amused. “That’s not what I asked, but sure.”

“I meant that I am well.” Spock amended.

Jim turned to Spock, levelling the guy with a curious look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Spock replied plainly.

“You sure? You’re acting a bit…” He couldn’t really put his finger on it, but there was something about Spock. “There’s just something off about you.”

Spock lifted a brow. “How articulate.”

Jim let out a snort. “Don’t be an ass, Spock. Come on, tell me; what’s wrong?”

There was a moment of silence, then Spock revealed, “I am simply wondering as to how T’Val is faring.”

“She’s probably fine. Bones is taking care of her after all.” Jim told him. Spock nodded once, slowly, and Jim felt that the guy wasn’t entirely convinced by his answer. “You want to give them a call before dinner is ready?”

“Please.” Spock said immediately.

Jim rolled his eyes but smiled fondly, and went off to fetch his communicator from his bedroom. When he came back into the kitchen Spock was already on his own comm unit, the sound of the ringing tone echoing through the room.

“Are you calling them _already_?” Jim asked incredulously, a grin breaking out on his face.

“I am contacting T’Val.” Spock replied, as if that was a good enough way to avoid answering Jim’s question.

After two rings it was, surprisingly, Bones who answered.

“This better be important, we were just about to peel carrots.” The man said gruffly, angling the camera so that T’Val was included in the frame.

Jim chuckled and stepped up next to Spock, casually slinging an arm over his shoulders. “Alright, Bones, T’Val. How’re you both doing?”

“Just dandy, Jim. Aren’t we, sweetie?” Bones smiled at T’Val who nodded once in agreement.

“Gotten around to watching any holos yet?”

Bones shook his head. “Not yet. We’re making snacks first; sliced veggies with dip.”

“Sounds delicious.” Jim grimaced.

T’Val’s voice piped up from the comm. “I believe you could improve your nutritional consumption, Jim.”

“Hey now…” Jim muttered.

“I agree.” Spock added.

“Hey now.” Jim repeated, turning to Spock with a look of betrayal.

“Same here.” Bones chimed in.

“Hey!” Jim snapped, whirling around to glare at his friend. The effect was a bit lost since it didn’t work as well through a PADD screen. “I didn’t call so you could all hold an intervention about my diet. Spock and I just wanted to know how you were both doing and what you’ve been up to so far.”

“We have conducted a video transmission with Joanna.” T’Val shared.

“Really now? Sounds fun.” Jim smiled, genuinely meaning it.

“It was enjoyable.” She admitted.

“I think they’re becoming close friends, aren’t you, lil’ miss?” Bones asked, looking down at T’Val.

“Affirmative.” She retorted.

Jim looked to Spock with a grin. “Look at her making friends.” He cooed fondly.

“I am relieved you are well.” Spock told T’Val.

“What, you thought we’d burned the place down or something?” Bones retorted gruffly.

Jim saw the sudden indignation in Spock’s face, but just as he was about to comment on it the oven beeped. He dropped his hand from over Spock’s shoulders and made for it, intending to take the lasagne out, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“I will retrieve the dish.” Spock told him. “You continue conversing with T’Val and Leonard.”

“You sure?” Jim asked.

Spock nodded and handed over the communicator. Jim accepted it and angled the camera so you could see him from the mid-torso up.

“I must use the restroom.” T’Val announced, looking to Bones.

“Go on, kid. I’ll put the first holo on once you’re done.” Bones said. Jim watched as T’Val walked off screen, then Bones’ face suddenly split into a wide grin.

“Step one of our kids growing up together.” He whispered into the camera, leaning in too close so that the screen showed just the side of his upper lip and one nostril.

“She’s not my kid, Bones.” Jim whispered back, eyes flickering back to Spock. Damn Vulcan hearing, you never knew what they could pick up.

Bones and Jim spoke for a few minutes longer, thankfully veering off the topic of their ‘kids’, and it was only when Spock called Jim about dinner being ready that they said their goodbyes. Jim hung up and handed the communicator back to Spock, then they both took their seats at the table. Jim saw that Spock had already topped off their glasses with water which was good, since he hadn’t planned on drinking. Not tonight.

He picked up Spock’s plate and begun cutting out a slice of the lasagne for him. “So how’re things going with T’Val?” Jim asked with a teasing lilt to his voice.

He knew how much Spock enjoyed talking about the little lady, even more so since she’d asked to establish a parental bond with him. When Spock had told Jim about that he’d been stunned into silence, a mixture of delight at T’Val asking that of Spock and disbelief that she would even ask that vying for his attention. Ultimately delight had won out, because Spock was so clearly excited about the development even though he tried to hide it.

In hindsight Jim thought it was a dick move of him to doubt that T’Val loved Spock— he was convinced it was love— just because she’d had one outburst with him for the entire time Jim had known her. The two were clearly gone on each other, and he was glad that they felt comfortable enough with one another to develop a parental bond.

“She is faring well. We have continued to regularly engage in mind melds in order to help her achieve better mental balance, though there was a brief period where we did not when she was still upset with me. I have noticed she is becoming better accustomed to accessing her emotions, and I believe soon she will be able to lead our melds.”

“And so the pupil becomes the master.” Jim hummed, handing Spock back his plate.

“A fitting quote.” Spock agreed, accepting it.

“Won’t her dad be upset though?” Jim asked, starting in on cutting a slice for himself. “I mean, he was pretty upset about her learning so much about Earth and its culture the last time we spoke. Oh! Have you talked to him yet about T’Val staying?”

“I have spoken to Sekon and explained T’Val’s situation is not fatal, but he seems immoveable.” Spock revealed, taking a bite of his lasagne.

“Maybe getting T’Val to talk to him personally would be better.” Jim suggested, sliding the slice onto his plate. “I have a feeling this guy would move the moon and stars for his daughter.”

“Sekon does indeed care deeply for T’Val and Kikyo. He is one of the few Vulcans whose emotions still runs deep and is vaguely reminiscent of that of our Vulcan ancestors.” Spock disclosed. “Unfortunately it is not possible for him to personally take T’Val under his care as his occupation does not allow.”

“What does he do?” Jim inquired, curious.

“He is a botanist aboard a Starfleet issued science vessel, the _U.S.S. Calypso_ , and is regularly given missions to undertake outside of Vulcan.”

Jim hummed in response, slowly chewing at his food. “That sucks.”

“Please do not speak with your mouth full, Jim.” Spock chided.

Jim snorted, but finished swallowing his bite before asking, “So why does he want her to go back if he won’t even be able to take care of her?”

Spock fell quiet for just a moment, then revealed, “I believe he misses his child.”

A silence crept up between them. Jim felt really terrible for having wished T’Val could stay on Earth, especially when her father apparently missed her so. There was still a small, selfish part of him that didn’t care. Her father wasn’t able to take care of her as it was now, and they could, so surely it was only— to use the common Vulcan word— _logical_ that she stay on Earth. Spock had already mentioned before that T’Val had no family on Earth besides her parents who would take her in, and her parents didn’t have enough money to hire someone to watch over her.

“That… really sucks.” Jim said finally, unable to think of anything else to say.

Spock nodded, apparently agreeing. “It is regrettable, but T’Val herself has stated her wishes to stay. She has already spoken with her father regarding her remain on Earth, and only then did he seem to consider it. I will attempt to speak with Sekon once more about the subject during our next video transmission.”

“Don’t forget to use logic.” Jim reminded him. He had to hold back a laugh when Spock shot him an unimpressed glare. He really was getting much better at reading the guy; it was all in the eyebrows.

They ate slowly, often stopping to talk at length about some subject or the other, languidly enjoying the evening as it passed. Once dinner was over Spock complimented Jim on his cooking, and Jim gladly accepted it. He didn’t cook big meals very often, usually only for himself, but he was proud of tonight’s dish. Often Spock would be the one to make the food since the guy absolutely loved cooking, claiming something about it being therapeutic as an excuse when Jim poked fun at him and said he could be a TV chef.

Jim surreptitiously checked his communicator and saw that he still had some time before the event. He rose from his seat and picked up both his and Spock’s plates, intending to let them soak in the sink. Spock sat up and tried to help, but Jim just shook his head.

“Don’t bother, just get your jacket on.”

Spock lifted a delicate brow, and yup, it was definitely all in the eyebrows.

“I’m taking you up to the roof.” Jim said in lieu of an explanation.

Spock still looked perplexed, and even a little dubious, but nodded. He stood from the table and went to get dressed, and once Jim finished placing the dishes in the sink he did the same. They donned their jackets and hats, and Jim waited until Spock had pulled on his gloves before helping Spock tie his scarf, placing a kiss on his nose once he was done. Spock’s cheeks tinged green, and Jim couldn’t help the giddiness that came over him. 

Still. Fucking _still_ he’d get this reaction whenever Spock blushed. It was amazing, and he couldn’t wait to get up on the roof where the cold air would most definitely deepen the green of those cheeks.

They headed up the stairs of the building, walking through the door on the side when they reached the top floor. It took them up another set of stairs which led to the roof, and Jim made sure to prop that door open with a brick from outside. He and Spock stepped out into the cold, the wind whipping around them.

“Hang on,” Jim told Spock, then scanned the roof until he found what he was looking for. He went and grabbed the two fold up chairs that were leaning against one of the vents and began setting them up. When done, he gestured at Spock to take a seat.

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock said, carefully sliding into one of the chairs. “Though I must admit, I am still uncertain as to why we are on the roof of your building.”

“You’ll know in just a few minutes.” Jim assured him, then paused. He fished out his comm and checked the time. “Yeah, a few minutes.”

Jim slid into the empty seat, leaning back and looking up at the night sky. The stars weren’t as bright in the city, but they were still visible. Fortunately there were no clouds out that night. Jim had checked the weather channel and webpages obsessively to make sure of that, which meant that he and Spock had a clear view of the sky.

There, in the darkest corner of the night sky, a small, burning light appeared.

“There it is.” Jim murmured, eyes shimmering with excitement.

He watched as the light grew closer, slowly making its way across the stars. It wasn’t extremely big, but compared to the other twinkling lights in the sky it was much more noticeable.

“Halley’s comet.” Spock commented.

Jim briefly glanced at the guy and saw that he was just as riveted as Jim was, eyes locked on the sky.

“Yep.” Jim confirmed. “Visible from Earth once every seventy-five years.”

“It is truly astounding.” Spock said reverently.

Jim nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. 

They watched as the comet drew across the sky, leaving a trail of brightness behind it. 

_’Halley’s comet actively emits dust and gas when it is close to Earth.’_ Jim remembered reading.

Jim had been ten years old the first time he had heard of Halley’s comet. His science teacher had told them about it, explaining how in the past centuries it had incredibly rare to get it on picture, but now there were several holos of it due to the quick development of long-distance photographic technology. He’d been in awe of the comet, of the concept that it only visited Earth almost once a century. When back home he’d immediately searched for it online, soaking up every bit of information he could find. 

It had always been such a cool notion to him, the fact that it appeared so rarely, meaning you only had one chance to see it.

Jim couldn’t help but feel it was an honour being able to see it in this form, with his own two eyes.

“If I’m lucky I’ll get to see this comet one more time before I die.” He declared into the night.

From the corner of his eye Jim saw Spock turn to him. He kept his gaze on the sky, the bright light of the comet stealing all of his attention.

“Jim…” Spock started, then paused. “Jim, I wish to engage in a mind meld with you.”

Jim’s breath hitched. 

He slowly turned to Spock, eyes wide. The guy was returning his gaze full on, never looking away for what felt like years. 

Finally, Jim licked his lips, then asked, “You sure?”

“Positive.”

Jim kept staring at Spock, thinking he would change his mind. When the man didn’t say anything for several moments, Jim nodded. 

“Okay.” He uttered quietly. “How do we, um… how do we do this?”

Spock stood from his seat and walked over to Jim, hesitating momentarily before sliding down to his knees. Jim felt his heart thumping in his chest, the sight of Spock kneeling in front of him leading him in directions his mind absolutely shouldn’t go. Not right now.

Spock removed the glove from his left hand then looked up at Jim. “May I?”

“May you what?” Jim asked.

“In order to perform the mind meld I must place my fingers on your meld points which are located on your face.”

“Oh,” Jim breathed, then nodded curtly. “Sure. Go ahead.”

Spock gently placed his hand over Jim’s left eye and cheek, and Jim barely had time to spare a thought as to how warm his hand was when suddenly he was catapulted into oblivion.

The sensation was indescribable, but the rush he experiences was something Jim would never forget for the rest of his life. He felt as if his stomach had dropped out of his body entirely, air clogging in his throat as his old memories were ripped to the forefront of his mind. He could feel he wasn’t alone in seeing them, could feel mental fingerprints flip through them, all of them, all of his memories, the bad, the good, the suppressed—

He was thrust through his memories, forced to relive them in just under a second.

One of his earliest memories from when he was four, his mother still young and beautiful but so, so heartbroken _still_ , never sparing the time of day for her two boys—

Standing at Winona’s wedding, watching with angry tears in his eyes as she married Frank, the most despicable being he had ever had the misfortune of meeting—

Bits of his interactions with Frank that he’d locked so deep down that they should even be inaccessible by himself, so _why are they here_ —

Being too smart for his age, too ahead of everyone else, he was born an explorer unable to be contained by the tiny town that was Riverside, was too large for it, felt larger than life—

Sam’s leaving and Jim can’t stop him from going, can’t keep him, can’t, just can’t—

His early delinquency, fistfights, brawls, gambling, underage drinking, theft—

His mother having no idea what to do with him so she ships him off to Tarsus IV, and it had been so good at the start, so healing—

Suddenly there was pain, deep and sharp like a dagger through the chest, there was hunger, there was thirst, and fear, such fear—

And then they were rescued by Starfleet but it was too late, the memories had etched themselves into Jim’s mind like shards of glass into the palm of his hand—

Being back in Riverside, seeing a therapist for his trauma, sneaking into the database and eliminating the event from his records, no one could know, no one could ever know—

Living at home where Frank no longer was, where his mother won’t return too, where he doesn’t know if Sam even remembers exist, not with all of these memories, staying in his childhood home which held his demons and was poison to him, but he had nowhere else to go—

Jim hustling pool, earning money any way he could, more fistfights, this time in bars, falling back into delinquency except now he could get arrested, but he _doesn’t give a fuck_ —

Being found by Pike, hating the guy on principle and sight, wishing for him to piss the fuck off and just _leave_ , but then he goads Jim, goads him so hard into applying for Starfleet, and Jim the sucker he is does it—

Meeting Bones on the shuttle and him throwing up on his shoes, realising right then and there that this person would be someone special to him—

Getting into Starfleet, experiencing new things, new people, new societies, new beings, exposed to new ideas, passions, relations, things he didn’t know existed and _god damn it_ Riverside had robbed him of so many years of his life he was not going to let this opportunity pass, he was going to do his goddamn best—

A sudden dark cloud over his optimism, the whole mess that was Bones’ divorce, Jim’s anger, his emotional control tearing at the seams, feeling deep down that the one family he was proud of being part of was being torn apart, and he was directing his anger at Jocelyn—

Chance meeting with T’Val, then Spock, annoyance at the man but fascination with T’Val, growing to learn them better, like them more, and suddenly they have a space in his heart that he could never imagine getting rid of—

Suddenly a bright light erupted across his vision, erasing all the images, and Jim felt as if he’d been punched in the gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, were you expecting sex? :’D 
> 
> Also I realise in the last chapter when I asked about posting the one-shot as one chapter or split up I kind of implied that it was done, but I want you to know that is not the case. It’s like half done so it won’t be posted for a while, but I’ll be posting it as one since that’s what most of you wanted  Thanks for letting me know btw!
> 
> Disclaimer: I know nothing about Halley’s comet beyond what I googled, so please feel free to either correct me or join me in ignorant bliss about space
> 
>  
> 
> **Actually, the user Cyn2k was kind enough to provide me with some information about comets: "They are very pretty, but they are unlikely to move so fast across the sky unless they are passing extremely close to earth. They are usually visible for days in similar spots in the sky. You might be able to detect movement, especially in the tail, with the naked eye, or binolculars, but it would be subtle. The changes, over the course of days to weeks, would be some movement in the sky, and the length of the tail as it approaches and then retreats around the sun."**
> 
>  
> 
> **I'd like to thank them for informing me of this, and I just want to make sure that you all know that what I've written in the fic is wrong :)**


	20. Chapter 20

Jim came out of the meld gasping, his lungs burning from lack of air, and how that happened he had no idea.

He was barely aware of his surroundings, just about capable of making out the shape of Spock on the ground, clutching at his head and mouth open in a wordless yell.

Jim felt as if something had been violently smashed over his head, his world off kilter as it swayed around him. He felt that if he did not hold onto his head it would fall backwards and snap off, and the idea terrified him so much he gripped onto his hair so tightly it hurt his roots.

It was either hundreds of years or just several minutes, but eventually Jim felt his mind start to float back into normalcy. His breathing fell back to its regular speed, and if he didn’t know better he would have said it was the first time he’d tasted fresh air. His hands were still tightly buried in his hair, but once he had evened out his breathing for a few moments he released them. His vision was slightly blurred, but everything was falling back into place. He could slowly start to see clearly again.

That… had been intense.

Jim couldn’t wrap his mind around what had happened. He felt as if he were still in shock, unable to form any words. A deep intake of breathe caught his attention, and he looked down to see Spock still on the ground, eyes shut and lying on his side. It seemed as if he had been just as affected.

Jim licked his lips and tried to speak, but his vocal chords wouldn’t cooperate.

Several more moments passed in silence, and eventually Spock’s eyes opened up. Jim could see they were glimmering with something wet, and he didn’t want to think too long about what that was. Slowly, Spock propped himself up on his elbow, head hanging. Jim saw the man’s shoulders rise and fall from how deeply he was breathing.

Spock tilted his head back, looking up at the sky. His eyes fell shut once again, but opened not a moment later. He struggled to turn his head to the side, and he and Jim finally locked eyes. 

They stared at each other, their breathing loud in the silence of the night.

“I apologise,” Spock panted finally. “I did not intend to see your memories so thoroughly. I… it seemed the meld was too strong.”

Jim swallowed, then took a risk and quirked a grin. “So was it as good for you as it was for me?” He joked, voice scratchy.

Spock continued to stare at him, unmoving, and Jim’s grin dropped. A feeling of unease crawled up his back and over his skin like spiders.

“You are a remarkable being.” Spock uttered, looking entirely convinced. Jim felt his cheeks warm. “Exceptionally strong in both mind and will. I am in awe of you, Jim.”

“Please, don’t.” Jim coughed uncomfortably, then winced. His throat was still sore from… from what, he didn’t know. ”I don’t… I don’t handle compliments well.”

Jim turned to look up at the sky, having forgotten it even existed. His entire world had been shaken to the core, and he needed a distraction from it. From Spock’s words. He could still feel the guys gaze on him, but chose to resolutely ignore it in favour of the stars. They were twinkling in the distance, small drops of light in an otherwise inky night.

Halley’s comet was still in the sky, stuck in the last position he’d seen it. It was still there, like a constant, and Jim kept his gaze locked onto it. It wouldn’t move, not in a way his eyes could see it, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to stare.

“Jim.”

Spock’s voice was a deep rumble, but Jim refused to look at him. The tension in the air was incredibly awkward, and he couldn’t bear to make eye contact with the guy right now. Jim could feel the tiredness seep into his bones, draining his very core.

“Do you… wish to go downstairs?” Spock asked hesitantly.

Jim watched the twinkling lights in the sky, thinking how he wished he could be among them right now.

“Yeah.” He breathed, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. “I do.”

*

They had ended up putting on a holo, an activity where it wasn’t required of them to talk. Jim sat next to Spock on the couch, closer than he was comfortable with at the moment. He had remained tense since the start of the holo, shoulders stiff, neck rigid and muscles aching from the constant clenching. He was so wired up he’d even forgotten to sling his arm over Spock’s shoulders. Instead, he sat with his arms crossed tightly and thighs splayed open the entire time, neck hurting from the way he was forcing himself to focus on the screen and nothing else. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about the meld.

Spock saw everything. _Everything_.

All that he’d kept hidden, even from himself, pushed and buried so deep down in his subconscious it should have practically been impossible to drag up from the depths of his mind. Things he hated remembering but couldn’t help re-visiting when something reminded him of it. 

Bruises around a person’s neck.

The sound of a belt being snapped.

A lost child at a tram station.

The fact that someone knew everything about Jim— had seen it all as if they were there themselves, had relived what he’d gone through, had accessed everything that he’d kept hidden under several layers of denial— unnerved him to no end.

“Perhaps it is best if I were to depart.” Spock declared suddenly.

Jim’s attention was suddenly brought back to reality. The saw the ending credits of the holo rolling down the screen. He hadn’t even been aware that it had ended.

Jim felt bad about it, but he agreed. He just wasn’t comfortable around Spock at the moment. “Perhaps.”

Spock slowly rose from the couch and ambled over to the front door. He quietly donned his outerwear, wrapping up tightly so as to not be bothered by the cold. It was one of the downsides of being a Vulcan living on Earth.

Jim reckoned it would only be polite of him to see Spock out, so he reluctantly got up and shuffled into the hallway. He saw Spock was just pulling on his boots before straightening up and reaching for his hat and scarf on the coat peg. Jim remained quiet for the entire time it took for Spock to get dressed, not even offering to help him wrap his scarf this time around. 

Once the guy was done he opened the door for him, and watches as Spock stepped into the building’s dark corridor. The lights flickered, sensing movement, and the next second the entire corridor was engulfed in bright, synthetic light. Spock made as if to leave, then hesitated. He turned to Jim and looked him straight in the eyes. 

“I apologise.” He said quietly.

“It’s okay.” Jim shrugged, still tense. They both knew it was a lie.

Spock spared him one last glance, then turned around and walked off. Jim didn’t bother looking after him, just quietly shutting the door before leaning his forehead against it. He took a steadying breath.

Tonight hadn’t gone as he expected.

*

The academy library was as quiet as a graveyard, the only sound being the light tapping of students typing on their PADDs. Jim had managed to snag a corner table with walls, allowing him some semblance of privacy in the rather crowded place. The amount of people wasn’t surprising considering it was December, and therefore everyone was either revising for upcoming exams or finishing off coursework. Jim luckily didn’t have to hand in any written work this semester, only give two presentations and partake in one simulation, but he did have two essay exams coming up which he was quickly considering the very bane of his existence. 

_Probability Mechanics_ and _Cultural Ethics_ were really interesting subjects, no doubt, but they were fucking _difficult_. Jim was always riveted in _Cultural Ethics_ class when it was Professor Fukinara teaching, hanging off of her every word as she spoke at the front of a lecture hall of two hundred students. The fact that she managed to keep the attention of mostly all them truly proved that not only was the subject fascinating, but she was an engaging lecturer. Jim felt he’d really lucked out with Professor Fukinara, and was constantly reminded of it whenever it was Professor Riba’s turn to teach.

He’d been at the library for about two hours, having arrived at around four in the evening. He preferred working late as opposed to early in the morning, since he would work for long hour spurts before going home and crashing in his bed. It probably wasn’t a very healthy way of studying— he was sure you were supposed to take a food break somewhere in there— but it was what worked best for him. 

Bones had harangued Jim about his revision style when they first got to know each other, but after the third time Jim showed him his test with a 98% on it he’d shut up. He wasn’t happy about it, still giving Jim disapproving looks whenever he stumbled into the flat in the late hours of the night after a revision session, but he didn’t say anything.

Still, having been in the library for two hours still wasn’t good enough for Jim. He’d barely gotten warmed up with his practice essay writing, having just continuously browsed information on crime and the execution of punishment on different planets while comparing it to the grading sheet which described what he’d need to show in his work to get top marks. He was pretty damn good at evaluation and critical thinking, but he would like to work more on his analysation; get that 92% up to a 95%.

All of a sudden Jim’s comm vibrated on the desk, having been put on silent earlier when he first entered the library. He absently reached for it, frowning at the bit he was reading. On Amxi you could get arrested for public indecency but only if you weren’t holding hands? What did that even mean? Holding back a frustrated sigh Jim looked to his comm, seeing that Bones had sent him a message. 

_[From: Bones]  
The little Vulcan lady is here._

Jim held back a sigh. If T’Val was at their apartment it meant Spock was too. After a moment of thinking Jim swallowed and typed out a reply.

_[To: Bones]  
Tell Spock I won’t be home until late tonight_

It was a sorry excuse and he knew it, but he wasn’t ready to be confronted with Spock. Wasn’t ready to face what had happened a few nights ago. It was _too soon_. 

Neither he nor Spock had spoken to each other since the incident, and Jim honestly felt really relieved about that. The tension that night had been so awkward, and Jim had never felt that tense around Spock before. Not even when they first met and got off to a rough start, and that had been a really tough period for them to get through.

Jim’s comm vibrated in his hand.

_[From: Bones]  
Spock’s not with her. She came alone. Again._

Jim scowled. That didn’t sound good. The last time T’Val had shown up at their apartment alone it had been because her dad had wanted her to come back to Vulcan. He’s still not sure if they’d figure that issue out yet, but he was sure Spock would tell her if she was leaving. 

…Except maybe not since they hadn’t spoken since the mind meld.

Wait, was that why T’Val was at theirs? Did she find out that she was definitely moving back to Vulcan now? Jim immediately typed out a reply.

_[To: Bones]  
Did she say why?_

_[From: Bones]  
No. Hasn’t spoken a word since she got here. She’s just curled up on the couch. I’ve made her some hot milk with honey but she’s not touched it._

_[To: Bones]  
Watch over her until I get back am heading home right now_

Jim gave the research on his PADD one last lingering look. It seemed he wouldn’t be getting any practice writing done today, after all.

*

Jim was still nervous as all hell about talking to Spock. It may have been an irrational fear, it’s not like the guy could destroy Jim simply by mentioning the mind meld, but to some degree felt like he could. It terrified the shit out of him that Spock had seen what he’d gone through and knew, could remember and had even experienced it himself when he rifled through his mind. To have someone know so much about him, things he had no intention of sharing, at least for now, made it feel like Spock held so much power over him. Jim knew the guy wouldn’t use it in any cruel way (Spock was cold sometimes, but not cruel), but it was still the fact that he _knew_ that...

Jim sighed.

He’d decided to put those thoughts aside for now and square up, reminding himself that his main worry at the moment was T’Val. Why was she at their apartment, why was she so withdrawn, why, why, why— he just needed to know. This was potentially an emergency, and uncomfortable situations be damned. 

Jim was hurrying down the last set of stairs in the library building when Spock answered his comm. 

“Jim.”

“Hey Spock, you doing alright?” Jim inwardly cursed himself as soon as the words left his mouth. Of course he wasn’t alright, his kid had just run away again. Possibly. “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that. Um, T’Val?”

Jim heard Spock breathe in deeply. So he was shaken up then. “She is with you?”

“At my apartment with Bones, apparently. He texted me like five minutes ago.”

“That is a relief.”

“What happened, man?” Jim asked, concern leaking into his tone.

“T’Val reacted unfavourably to news I had.” Spock replied calmly.

“News?” Jim felt his insides clench. “Is it about her dad again?”

“No, it is not in regards to Sekon.” Jim breathed out in relied, but the next words gave him pause. “Jim, I have been selected as First Officer aboard the _U.S.S Enterprise_.”

He came to a sudden halt, inadvertently knocking into someone who was apparently walking behind him. Jim immediately whirled around, profusely apologising. The person just waves them away with an annoyed look and stepped around him, continuing on in their path.

“Sorry, Spock, I— someone just knocked into me, I had to apologise, it was my fault and I—“ Jim abruptly cut himself off, then exclaimed with genuine delight, “Spock, that is so great! I can’t believe you got chosen, I’m so proud of you! You know there are people who would kill to get your position, and I’m just— I’m so proud of you. The _Enterprise_ is a great ship—”

“It would mean I would need to re-locate T’Val elsewhere.” Spock interrupted.

“Oh.” Jim breathed, good mood suddenly shattered.

That… was not good.

“When I informed her of this, she left.” Spock continued, his voice sounding tired.

Jim snapped to attention. “ _You told her you’re giving her away?!_ ”

“Not as such.” Spock amended. “She asked what procedures would need to be taken in order to be granted access onto the ship, as well as when we were set to depart. I had to reveal to her that I could not take her with me.”

“ _Fuck_.” Jim hissed.

“Indeed.”

Jim worried his lip between his teeth for a moment, then asked, “How long until you get shipped out?”

“It will be well over a year until then.”

Jim perked up at that. “Then you still have time! Can’t you think of a way to, I don’t know, have her get taken in by someone you trust. Someone who she trusts and can actually take care of her.”

“I am attempting to do so, however, it is challenging.”

Jim began walking again, trying to think of a way he could help. He would have maybe offered to take T’Val under his care, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to take care of her. He still struggled trying to get in two lessons a week with her, it would be damn hard to take care of her fulltime; it’s not like he could cut back on his accelerated course or anything. 

Besides… he probably would be a terrible choice for T’Val. Not because he didn’t love her, because he did, he loved her something fierce, but because Jim’s plan had always been to graduate and go into space. You couldn’t take a kid into space. If he did take T’Val under his care, he’d eventually come to a point where he’d be repeating Spock’s current dilemma, because cruel as it sounded, there was no way Jim was going to say ‘no’ to being given the chance to explore outer space.

”I did not think she would get so emotionally attached.” Spock revealed quietly. His voice sounded so soft and brittle that it pulled at Jim’s heartstrings.

“It’s okay to say you’ll miss her.” He pointed out kindly.

There was a long silence on the other end, nothing but Spock’s breathing. Then, in a tone so soft it would have been inaudible had he not been listening out for it, Spock revealed, “I will miss her, Jim.”

*

Jim had arrived at the apartment about half an hour later, and he saw that Spock and Bones were already there, much to Gary’s dismay apparently. T’Val was lying on the couch, fast asleep and curled up on her side. The sight of her had something inside of Jim melt, and he silently approached, standing next to both Bones and Spock.

The three men looked down at T’Val’s sleeping form for a few moments before Spock quietly announced that she needed to be taken home so that he could put her down in her own bed. Bones had agreed, and Jim watched as Spock silently went down to heft T’Val’s tiny form into his own arms, circling his arms around her back and holding her close.

Bones and Jim had decided to follow with, much to Gary’s delight, and Jim made sure to flip him the bird before he silently shut the door behind them. The tram ride over was immensely quiet, none of them speaking a single word as they made it all the way to Spock’s building, up the stairs, and into his apartment. When they arrived it was nearing midnight, and Spock had classes in the morning which meant he had to go to bed right after he put T’Val down to bed.

“A bit useless coming over here now, don’t you think?” Bones whispered as they watched Spock take T’Val into her room.

“You wouldn’t have been able to sleep unless you knew she was okay.” Jim returned.

Bones nodded grimly. “Yeah. Not sure how I’ll do tonight.”

Jim looked to Bones with a pensive look, then turned to Spock when he came back into the room.

“Hey, Spock,” He ventured. “Is it alright if Bones and I stay over?”

Bones’ head snapped to Jim at the comment. “What?”

“I had assumed you would.” Spock replied. “Unless you wish to return home, in which case you are free to do so.”

“No, we want to stay here.” Jim said firmly. “Do you want to go home, Bones?”

Jim could see the man calculating the time it would take to get back, adding in the fact that he was still worried about T’Val and that Gary was the only person at his flat. After a moment he nodded.

“I’d like to stay.” He affirmed.

Spock nodded once. “I unfortunately do not have any spare rooms, but you are free to sleep in my bed and I will take the couch for tonight.”

“Spock, no,” Jim started softly, but was interrupted by Bones.

“Thanks, Spock. We really appreciate it. It only makes sense, after all.” Bones intoned, making sure to catch Jim’s eye at that.

Right. It did make sense. Jim may have forgotten about the whole mind meld incident while they were taking care of T’Val, but there was no doubt he’d remember it if he shared a bed with Spock, making it an incredibly awkward night. There was also no way he and Spock would be sharing a bed.

“Yeah.” Jim agreed. “Thank you, Spock.”

“It is of no concern.” Spock told him. “You are free to make use of my nightwear if you so wish.”

Bones and Jim both nodded in return, offering mumbled ‘thanks’. Spock leaned into Jim, who momentarily tensed until he felt Spock’s lips on his own. Not even a moment later they were gone, and he was blinking at Spock.

“Good night, Jim.”

Jim stared at Spock for a second, then nodded curtly. “Good night, Spock.”

The three of them parted ways there, Spock going to make camp on the couch, and Jim and Bones heading into Spock’s bedroom. Jim remembered it vaguely from the few times he’d poked in there just to chat to Spock before leaving after one of T’Val’s lessons, but he’d never _been_ there. As in, he'd never had it be the last location or anything other than just a room he passed through.

He and Bones quietly shut the door then began getting undressed, neither of them taking Spock up on his offer of using his pyjamas. Jim usually slept in just his bottoms and nothing else, and he knew Bones only ever slept with his boxers on so this wasn’t a hardship for them. Since they didn’t have toothbrushes with them they just to forego the nightly ritual of teeth-brushing, something Jim kind of hated since he hated the dental plaque he got on them in the morning. He could already feel the dirty sensation in his mouth.

Jim went to switch off the light, and after exchanging quiet goodnights with Bones, quietly got under the covers. Luckily there were two pillows on the bed, meaning they each got one, and Jim could hear Bones sighing as he made himself comfortable. Jim turned on his side, laying his head on the pillow as he watched his friend attempt to fluff the pillow some.

It was odd.

All the previous times Jim had imagined himself in Spock’s bed, this hadn’t quite been the situation he’d pictured. He’d always thought that they would, you know, end up in bed together after a romantic evening; maybe date night, maybe just a random hang out that turned steamy, or maybe just because they were both tired, and it was late, and Spock had offered Jim to stay over. Nothing sexual, just… sleeping together. The comfort of having another body close as you slept, a nice, warm body you could hug close. 

Jim inhaled once, and he could smell Spock’s scent clinging to the sheets. Even that was a reminded of who he really wanted to be here with, holding close in his arms as sleep took them away. Not…

“What?” 

Bones’ voice snapped Jim out of his thoughts. His gaze focused in on his friend who was lying on his side in a similar position to Jim, staring at him with a frown on his face.

Well. Apparently Jim had been staring. That was embarrassing.

“Nothing.” Jim murmured, turning over and wrapping the duvet tighter around himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only five more weeks until this fic is completed! 
> 
> Holy shit you guys, thanks for sticking with it for so long!!! You're all beautiful, and I love you, thank you so much for following it from its beginning :'D <3 <3 <3


	21. Chapter 21

Winona had called.

Jim had been reading through the grading sheet for his _Probability Mechanics_ module when he saw her name flashing across the screen of his comm. 

He’d immediately frozen in place, his insides turning to ice and breathing coming in short. It felt as if time had stopped and he was watching his beeping comm from an outside bubble, like a holovid. He’d just stared at the thing until it finally died, and even then he couldn’t bring himself to relax. His comm lit up again, the beeping starting up anew, and Jim’s eyes slammed shut. He knew it was an incredibly cowardly move, ignoring his mother’s calls, but he couldn’t… he didn’t… he had no energy for her.

Sadly, Winona didn’t seem to give a damn what her son felt like. She had called several times after the first two, the calls stretching over several minutes and slowly driving Jim mad. Eventually he couldn’t handle the incessant beeping anymore and was forced to answer it with shaky hands.

He’d barely pressed ‘accept’ when Winona’s clear voice came through. “Hello, Jimmy.”

The words had Jim clenching his fists. He couldn’t deal with this. His mouth was moving before he’d been aware of it, making up some half-assed excuse about being in at the academy which is why he couldn’t answer. It was so weird; his voice didn’t sound like his own, but detached. Not there. Just… not his.

“It’s not a problem at all, it’s good you’re so dedicated to your studies.” Winona cheerfully brushed it off, unaware of her son’s inner struggles. “I was just calling to say that I’m going to be in San Francisco soon, and we really do need to meet up.”

Her jovial voice was so at odds with Jim’s tight, quiet one that it made him sick. He could barely restrain his disgust, nails digging into the palm of his hands. He was quickly starting to think up more excuses, something that saved him from having to meet her, to have any contact with her at all, but before he could say anything she interrupted with, “You promised me I could meet your doctor friend, remember? If I helped with the loan. How did the divorce go, by the way?”

Jim felt his throat constrict. 

Fuck, the loan. He’d completely forgotten about that.

Jim felt his heart beating faster and palms getting sweaty. This… this was too difficult to deal with. Harder than he thought it’d be. Fuck, he’s older now, has been through his fair share of bad situations, it shouldn’t be this hard to speak to his own _goddamn mother_. Jim had to clear his throat twice before he could muster up a reply. 

“Yeah, sure. It was okay. You can… I can tell you more about it later.” He finished awkwardly, not wanting to extend this conversation any longer than necessary.

“That’s great, Jimmy.” She laughed, chipper. Jim felt the nickname like a punch in the gut. “Well, I need to be heading off now, duty calls and all that. But make sure you’re free when I come down, okay?”

Thank God.

“Yeah.” Jim breathed, so, so grateful for having her leave. 

He wasn’t really listening, the sound of Winona’s voice making goodbyes through the phone practically non-existent to him. If she had nothing important to say, he was going to tune her out. He was going to tune her out and breathe.

The click of the communicator signalled the end of the conversation. There was a long moment where Jim stayed unmoving, the unit still pressed to his ear as the silence on the other end stretched out. Finally, he brought it away from his ear and stared at it for several minutes.

Jim swallowed. He needed a drink. 

He’d rushed towards the shelf they’d dubbed their ‘liquor cabinet’ rifling through it but finding most of the bottles empty. Jim had slammed his hand onto the counter, the pain instantly flaring up in his hand. _Fuck_ , if it was empty why’d they put it back in the cabinet? He took the empty bottles and put them in the sink, not caring when one of them chipped against the side. He returned to the cabinet and took out the two bottles that still had something left in them. It was poor, very poor, and Jim decided he’d see what else they had.

He opened up the fridge, and low and behold, Gary had a six pack of beer crammed onto his shelf. Jim took them out and kneed the fridge shut, hands already tearing at the plastic constraints of the pack. There was no shame in his desperation; this was an emergency after all, and he was sure Gary would understand if Jim completed downed all of his beers.

…Probably not, but Jim couldn’t bring himself to care.

He immediately sequestered himself in his room, rushing back and forth between the kitchen until all the alcohol in the apartment was surrounding him. He’d twisted open the cap of one of the liquor bottles, something he couldn’t read the label of but smelt like a punch to the nose which was _great_. He took a long swig of that, relishing the burn that tore down his throat. He pulled the bottle away from his mouth, coughing twice as the sensation really dug in.

Damn, what the fuck was this thing and where could he get more of it?

Jim reached for his comm, opening up a message to Bones as he took another swig of the truly painful drink. Good stuff.

_[To: Bones]  
Pls buy HARD alcohol on way back from class thanks_

Jim threw his comm to the side, lightly swinging the bottle in his hands and watching the amber liquid inside swirl around. That was as much warning Bones would get about expecting the worse when he got back from the academy. Jim never asked Bones to buy hard alcohol, he always went and bought it himself since Bones was never adventurous with his stuff. He should probably feel a little bad for making his friend worry for the rest of his classes, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not right now.

That reminded him, they would need to have some more alcohol stocked and ready for when Winona actually arrived. God, that was going to be a miserable day, Jim just knew. Spending time with Winona. Even the thought made him grimace. He’d definitely need to drink a lot more dangerous things for his body than this if he wanted to numb the pain from that meeting.

Fucking Winona. 

His _mother_. 

The word seemed so foreign both on his tongue and in his mind. He’d not thought of her as such since he was probably fifteen, and honestly he couldn’t even remember a time where she’d actually acted like one. Not like the mothers he’d heard of and seen with other children growing up. Jim rarely, if ever, talked about her, and when he did he would openly refer to her as ‘mom’ since calling your own mother by her first name indicated you had some kind of issues. It was totally true, but Jim didn’t want anyone to know that.

Winona had been… abysmal. His father’s death had stayed with her since it happened like a shadow, and Jim and Sam had felt it in their upbringing. She had handled raising her two sons as well as she could, by not raising them but marrying another man and then dumping them on him. 

A shiver ran through Jim. Frank had been _terrible_ and Jim hated him with every fibre of his being. He still recalled the day she had brought him home for the first time, the memory a sore reminder of what was to come. There had just been something off about the guy, something smarmy about his smile and the way he looked at him and Sam. Jim couldn’t shake the feeling that he was wrong, his mom was wrong, and how couldn’t she see that from the way he was looking at her? It was… really unnerving.

Frank was the equivalent of stroking a dog’s fur the opposite way, he was just… _no_.

Jim hated having Frank there, in their home and living with them as if he belonged. He didn’t belong, and when Winona had announced that the two of them would be getting married Jim had fucking bawled his eyes out. He remembered crying when he heard the news, loud wails and open weeping which got him sent to his room for, as Frank had quoted, ‘being a little brat and reacting this way to good news’. It was only when Sam came into his room with a smuggled piece of bread that Jim had finally calmed down, his crying having receded to hiccups and snivelling. 

It was funny how Frank had been the reason they grew closer as two brothers, their five years of difference, which before seemed like a chasm, nothing when facing off against a combined evil.

Jim remembered standing at his and Winona’s wedding, Sam stood next to him with all the stoicism his fourteen year old self could muster. But Jim couldn’t be like him. He couldn’t stop the emotional hurt he felt, the angry tears burning his eyes as he watched his mother marry a monster. 

It was fucking awful. Jim hated thinking about it. Hated thinking about how she’d escaped into space, leaving her and Sam in the hands of this, this _devil_. Hated thinking about how his bad feelings about Frank came to fruition in the form of leather belts, thrown objects and hands slapped across his face so hard he could still sometimes hear the ringing in his head. He hated thinking about how Winona, his own mother, hadn’t believed Jim about Frank, even with the physical evidence on his body. Hated thinking about how it was only after he went to the authorities and showed them his bruises, and they contacted Winona, that she finally came back.

He hated thinking about it, because by that time Sam had already gone, not having taken Jim with him despite his pleading. He’d left him behind to fend for himself, and when rescue finally came in the form of two police officers who dragged a Frank foaming at the mouth from their home, well… Jim hadn’t wanted anything to do with Winona. 

He’d ignored the apologies spilling from her lips, her excuses, her words, her seeking touches and hugs, and instead curled in on himself far, far away from anyone. He became reclusive, painfully so, and Winona couldn’t handle him. She couldn’t care for her son, not when she was still needed in space. Still wanted to be there. 

And so she had sent Jim to live with relatives on Tarsus IV. The best fucking decision she’d ever made, but even that ended up being hell.

Jim let out an ugly laugh, his throat dry.

Tarsus IV. What absolute hell come to life.

He’d been happy at the start, not having seen his aunt Ruth since he was apparently two. He’d had no memory of her and only knew that she was his dad’s sister, the closest reminder he had of him. Jim was sent to stay in her house along with her husband, and the thought had sent him into a sweating fit. He remembered stepping off the shuttle for the first time as an awkward, embarrassed, recently puberty-accosted teen, and her welcoming him with open arms and a smile. The first hug she’d given Jim had sent him into such a state of shock he hadn’t known how to react, just sort of awkwardly placing his arms around her in return. It probably didn’t last longer than a few seconds, but to Jim it felt like a lifetime.

That had been the first time where he’d thought that maybe he was touch-starved. It made sense, growing up with Frank around.

Aunt Ruth (‘Call me Baby Ruth’) was such a change to what Jim had previously known. Her entire being was jovial and she seemed to suffuse warmth, good things wrapping around her like magnets to a fridge. It was an odd analogy, but that’s what it had felt like. Sebastian too, her husband, was a great man, although calmer. Jim appreciated how he levelled Aunt Ruth out, acting like the rock in their relationship whereas Ruth was the waves splashing against him. It had just been them in the home, no children because— ‘no offense Jim, they’re a pain to watch over 24/7’— which had made him giggle. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d so freely expressed joy, absolute genuine joy. He’d felt happy there, elated, like he was lighter somehow.

Then came the day they’d been brought into Kodos’ palace, ushered in and split up as three individual beings asked them questions Jim was more than uncomfortable with. 

He remembered it felt like an interview, and he came out of it feeling off, feeling wrong somehow. It was a similar feeling he’d had with Frank, and the memory of the guy still scared Jim enough that he’d told his aunt he didn’t like what had just happened. She’d echoed his thoughts, looking pensive.

“Something’s happening in there,” She’d told him, expression mistrusting. Jim remembered that expression, and she had been right. Something was happening in there.

Kodos’ orders had been released to the public weeks later, and it had split the colony in two. The surviving side, and the doomed to die side.

Jim had been on the wrong side. 

He’d chosen the wrong side, his misgivings hindering him from protection from it all. From the next few months of his life consisting of escaping armed guards in the streets, sitting hunched in the cold and staying on constant guard for hands that grasped you in the night, and hunger so painful it felt as if his stomach was being torn to shreds from the inside.

Had he known that that was what would have followed his decision to decline Kodos’ offer, would he still have made the same decision?

Jim absolutely knew he wouldn’t have. Anything was preferable to those months he’d spent fighting to survive, not only himself, but others too. It was horrible, like being part of a group of stray, abused cats fighting for the last scrap of food. The memory still had Jim wanting to douse his mind with bleach, the sound of screams and children crying when they lost wracking his body with guilt.

But that was in the past, and there was nothing he could do about it now. Hindsight was 20/20. What a fucking morose way to think of it; hindsight was 20/20. Jim kicked at the wall where he was slumped against his bed, taking another swig of his beer.

Fuck, when had that happened?

He looked around himself and saw that the two liquor bottles lay empty on the floor, along with five other empty beer cans. Looked like he’d been busy wallowing in his own misery. Jim didn’t know how many hours he’d sat there, slumped in the corner of his room and drinking himself into oblivion, but apparently it had been too long.

Jim took another swig of his beer. Didn’t feel like it though.

His comm beeped suddenly and he let out a groan. He didn’t want to answer it. He continued to sip from his beer, resolutely ignoring the periodic beeping until finally it shut up. 

But apparently that was only to start up again a minute later.

Jim rubbed at his temple, letting out a deep sigh that seemed to reverberate through his entire body. He was so, so tired. The comm kept beeping, and beeping, and beeping, and finally Jim couldn’t take it anymore.

He picked it up, and saw Spock’s name flashing across the screen. _Shit._

Trying to gain control of his motor skills, Jim pressed the ‘accept’ button and held the camera up so that Spock could see him.

“Hey, Spock,” Jim greeted, his voice rough. He attempted a smile, but it just wasn’t worked out for him. It felt too damn fake.

Spock looked as if he were going to return the greeting, but then stopped. Jim saw his mouth slowly close and his eyebrows furrow. “Jim, are you well?” 

“Just peachy.” Jim slurred. “Why do you ask?”

“You are not present for T’Val’s lesson today.”

“Whu?” Jim blinked at the screen, then looked to the time on his comm. It was 16:00. He cursed. “Motherfucking _son of a bitch_.”

Jim heard rustling on the other end and saw shadows sliding over Spock.

“What’re you doing?” He murmured, eyebrows furrowed. Why were there shadows over Spock?

“I have relocated to a different room.” The guy explained, and Jim heard the sound of a door shutting. Several moments later Spock sat down, and Jim recognised the shelf in the background. His bedroom.

“Why, what happened?” He inquired.

“T’Val was present in the room.”

“Oh, T’Val.” Jim sighed, biting his lip. He’d cursed in front of T’Val. Fuck. He didn’t want her to learn foul language from him, not yet anyway.

“I believe your behaviour will cause her some distress.” Spock went on.

“Shit.” Jim hissed under his breath, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I’m. Spock, I’m so sorry.”

“Jim, are you inebriated?” Spock asked carefully.

Jim paused momentarily, then swallowed. Nodding, he answered, “Yes.”

“I see.” The guy replied, voice calm. “Why at this time?”

Jim wet his lips, and before he could think if this was a good idea or not, blurted out, “Winona called.”

Spock arched an eyebrow in return.

Jim cleared his throat and corrected himself. “My mom.”

There was nothing but utter silence on the other end, Spock looking as stone-faced as he always did. Not even the eyebrows gave away what he was thinking.

“She said she was going to be visiting soon.” Jim shared quietly.

“This is upsetting to you.”

Jim let out a dry laugh. “Come on, Spock, you were in my head, you know how I feel about her.” He tried to give a lop-sided grin, but it was just too much effort.

“I know your general feelings, but I did not discern the cause entirely.” Spock admitted slowly.

Jim felt a lump in his throat. This would’ve been way easier if Spock had actually seen the details, and damn, that was the first time he’d thought that. Having the guy invasively poke his nose through his memories so that Jim didn’t have to talk about his feelings… yeah, that kind of didn’t sound too bad right now. 

God, he must be real fucked up.

Jim thinned his lips. “That’s good enough, man. The cause was justified, believe me.”

A beat of silence passed, then Spock hesitantly asked. “Jim, do you need me to come visit you?”

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” Jim snapped, suddenly on edge. Again, there was nothing but silence on the other end. Jim squeezes his eyes shut, immediately regretting his words. “I’m sorry, Spock, I’m just…”

“I understand.” Spock said.

Jim let out a snort. No, he fucking didn’t.

“I’ve been drinking.” He declared out of nowhere.

“I am aware.”

Jim licked his lips. “I… I can’t come in today.”

“I will inform T’Val of this.” Spock promised him, and he sounded so calm. It was both unnerving and calming; Jim didn’t understand it.

He nodded in reply, then carefully asked, “Could you tell her I’m sorry? Please?” He felt as if he was going to cry. He didn’t know why, but he could feel himself needing to weep, needing to give up and just let the tears flow freely.

Spock inclined his head. “Of course, Jim. Feel better.”

“Thanks.” Jim sighed, then hung up.

His hand dropped to the floor, the comm unit get knocked out of it. Jim sat there, just staring straight ahead at nothing. 

Spock had… T’Val was…

Jim let out an aggravated groan and ran his hand through his hair. He took another swig of his beer only to find it was empty. Fuck. He tossed it to the side next to the other empty cans.

Empty. Everything was empty, himself included.

God, he seriously needed to drink more. Where the hell was Bones?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo... I'm really sorry guys, don't mean to bring this fic down, but it kind of has to in order for it to proceed into other things. Sorry :(


	22. Chapter 22

It felt as if the past few weeks had been nothing but stress. 

After Winona’s call Bones had hurried back to their apartment with three bottles of rum under his arm, tossing his backpack down as soon as he was through the front door and rushing towards Jim’s room. He’d instantly slid down next to him, uncapped the first bottle of rum and held it out to Jim who grabbed for it first chance he had. 

He’d probably looked a mess crumpled on the floor surrounded by cans of beer and bottles, but Jim hadn’t cared. All he needed was to drink more, and Bones, the fantastic guy that he was, provided that for him. Jim wasn’t sure if his liver would forgive him once he’d recovered from this, but he was sure Bones would help him out if it came to that. There was no way his doctor friend would allow for anything fatal to happen to him, even if Bones had at the time been watching Jim drink himself into oblivion. 

He’d stayed by Jim’s side for the remainder of the day, watching over him as he took sip after sip of rum in between silences. It wasn’t heavy, or suffocating, or judgemental in any way or form, but comforting. It was one of the best things about Bones; their silences were never strained, even when Jim was attempting to physically erase bits of his memories using unsafe means. Bones was there, and if he thought things were going too far, he’d make sure to stop it. 

Jim didn’t know how long he’d been drinking or how many of the bottles of rum he went through, just remembered his head feeling simultaneously heavy and light, feeling too hot, and loose, and sleep-addled but unable to go to sleep. At some point in his drunken haze he’d made out the sound of Bones and Gary shouting, their voices far off. Jim had groggily nodded along, not understanding what was being said, but still nodding until his head fell forwards and he blacked out.

When he woke up it was to the smell of something greasy being cooked, the smell wafting through the air and causing Jim’s empty stomach to gurgle with want. His head had been pounding something fierce, but thankfully it was quickly cured with a hypo from Bones, the amazing, beautiful, human being. He’d even set down a plate of true Southern breakfast for Jim; bacon, sausage, fried eggs and even fucking two bowls of grits. Jim was in heaven.

He’d taken his time to slowly eat his breakfast, the sound of Bones puttering around the flat the only noise in the background. Jim had let the flavour of the eggs seep onto his tongue, humming contently. Bones’ breakfasts were, simply put, earth-shattering. Jim so rarely got to eat them— maybe in a blue moon— and so savoured every bite of the meal, every crunch of the bacon, every spoonful of the grits, every slow chew of the sausage.

As soon as he was done Bones had taken the plate away, placing it in the sink for later. Jim stretched his arms over his head, eliciting a deep groan as his muscles clenched and loosened.

“Feeling better?” Bones had asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Jim offered a vague nod. “Better than before.” Wow, his voice was still quite raspy. He cleared his throat, feeling the phlegm get stuck. Alright, so maybe the scratchy voice would be staying with him for a while. That could easily be cured with coffee, though.

“Good.” Bones harrumphed, walking up beside Jim and clapping him on the shoulder. “Thought your ass was going to go numb from how long you sat on that floor.”

Jim huffed, a small smile playing at his lips. He had still felt incredibly tired, but was slowly waking up.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’re you planning on doing now?” Bones asked, gently rubbing his thumb into Jim’s shoulder.

Jim breathed out deeply through his nose, casually leaning back into Bones’ half-hearted effort at a massage. He absolutely didn’t want to think about Winona’s call, and definitely not about the phone call he had with Spock. It was still fresh in his mind, and every time he thought about it he inwardly cringed. No, he really hadn’t wanted to think about that. Jim had decided that he would try his utmost best to block out anything related to Winona, doing anything and everything he could to keep her out of his head. 

And that’s what Jim had done.

He had thrown himself into a flurry of activities, working himself to the bone so that he wouldn’t have to think about Winona’s upcoming visit. Thankfully it was a useful distraction since exams were barely a week away, and even though Jim had gone through the reading material from his tutorials several times over that he now basically had them all memorised, he kept working. He’d looked up previous exams from _Probability Mechanics_ and _Cultural Ethics_ , soaking in very bit of information at hand so that he could ace his exams. He’d written more practice essays than he could count, both with and without time limits, and even gone a step further and asked Professor Kurokawa to grade them herself.

It had been intense, and extremely taxing, but Jim felt so much better when his mind was running a mile a minute, rushing to finish all the tasks he had set up for himself. The sense of accomplishment he felt during those days had been amazing, and he was certain he’d achieved several personal bests. But, all that ceaseless working would indubitably drive a man to exhaustion, and Jim was only Human, which was why at the moment taking a short break in the library café. 

It was located at the bottom of the library, a few steps outside of the main entrance so that it wouldn’t disturb the people who were studying on the first floor. Since food and beverages were forbidden in the library, the university had added a café here so that students could, like Jim, take breaks and enjoy a coffee or sandwich before returning to their revision. 

He was sat at one of the two persons’ tables, a cup of half-finished coffee in front of him as he idly scrolled through his PADD, reading through the notes he’d made. Sure, he was taking a break, but that didn’t meant he couldn’t simultaneously read up further for his upcoming exams. That’s the lie he told himself anyway when he had reached for his PADD as a distraction.

Suddenly Jim’s comm beeped, and he set down his PADD in favour of the unit. Fishing it out he saw Bones’ name flash across the screen, and he immediately accepted the call on audio, holding the device up to his ear.

Jim barely got out a, “What’s up?” before Bones tersely told him, “You need to talk to T’Val.”

“Sorry?” Jim uttered, caught off guard.

“ _You need to talk to T’Val_.” The man repeated, just as tightly.

“I—“

“She’s right here.”

“What?” Jim heard the scraping sounds of the comm being moved about, presumably passed on to the next speaker. Jim’s eyes darted around the library café, checking to see if anyone was listening in. He cupped his hand over his communicator and whispered harshly, “Bones!”

“Jim.”

Jim straightened up at the voice, and his tone softened considerably. little lady.”

A stretched silence followed the words, the din of the café much louder than what he was getting through the comm. Jim’s first thought had been that perhaps something had happened to the line, but he could still heard soft breathing from the other end.

“T’Val?”

“Have you tired of me?” T’Val asked suddenly.

Jim’s eyebrows jumped. “What? No! What makes you think that?”

From the other end her reply came through in a small, uncertain voice. “You have not visited us in sixteen days.”

“I—“ Jim began, then halted. Sixteen days? That couldn’t be right. The last time he’d seen T’Val was… Monday… Thursday…

No way. Over _two weeks_. 

“I… I didn’t realise.” Jim murmured, still in a state of shock. Had it really been that long? He was a bastard. A complete and utter bastard. He and T’Val had met at least once a week, every week, since their first run in. It was one of the highlights of Jim’s week, hanging out with T’Val and just having fun exploring the strange nature of Humans with her. It made him feel like a kid again, but this time he had a friend who was bursting with curiosity and soaked up his every word. 

She always spoke and held herself like an adult that sometimes Jim forgot that she really was just a little girl. 

A little girl who couldn’t understand why her friend had suddenly disappeared.

God, Jim was such a dick.

“Look, how about I drop by later today?” He declared suddenly, wanting to get rid of this guilty feeling crawling over his skin. Jim actually had plans to practice write another essay under a time limit, but that would have to take a backseat for now. Making sure T’Val didn’t feel abandoned was first and foremost on his mind. He felt terrible for having forgotten about her in the midst of his own wallowing and wanted to try his damndest to make it up to her. Jim just hoped she would be accepting of his efforts.

“You are not occupied?” She inquired in a quiet voice. Jim’s insides clenched. He had never heard her sound so thin.

“For you, my dear, I’ve got all the time in the world.” Jim promised, then immediately winced. Clearly that was a blatant lie going by his current behaviour, but he just couldn’t… He just couldn’t bring himself to let her down.

A soft sigh came through the comm. “I am relieved to hear that.”

So she said, but Jim couldn’t be sure. Not until he actually met her which he was going to do as soon as he hung up and gathered his things. He’d done more than enough revision for now, and well… he hated to say it, but spending some time with T’Val would actually be a great way to keep his mind off of Winona. But again, the important thing was that T’Val knew for sure that she hadn’t been forgotten about. Jim was glad Bones called him about this. 

A thought suddenly occurred to him.

“T’Val…” He started slowly. “Are you at our apartment right now?”

“Affirmative.” Came the quick reply.

Jim heaved a sigh. “T’Val, you can’t just—” Jim broke off, thinning his lips. He shouldn’t say anything. She already thought he didn’t want to see her, and his chiding would definitely sound as if he didn’t want her near him. Instead, he said, “Next time you decide to visit us, call first, okay?”

“I will attempt to do so next time.”

“No, no; don’t _attempt_ , do so.” Jim told her firmly.

“I will do so.” T’Val repeated.

Jim’s lips quirked up into a smile. “Great.”

*

Spock opened the door to reveal Jim stood outside with T’Val curled up in his arms.

“Hey, Spock.” Jim greeted, a kind smile gracing his lips.

Spock nodded jerkily in reply. His eyes fell to T’Val. “You did not inform me of your departure.”

“I apologise, Spock. I acted… unsuitably.” T’Val murmured, sounding somewhat contrite.

“You are aware your actions are unacceptable.”

“Affirmative.”

“Easy there, you two.” Jim interjected, feeling the tension in the room rise. “Let us get inside properly before we discuss anything. Do you mind?” He aimed the question at Spock, quirking an eyebrow.

Spock stared at Jim for a beat, then stepped aside, allowing the man to walk into the apartment with T’Val still held in his arms. Once past the threshold Jim lowered T’Val to the ground then set about removing his shoes. She copied him, placing them on the shoe rack by the door before ambling towards the living room.

“T’Val.” Spock called, catching her attention. “Please go to your room.”

Jim threw Spock a surprised look. Did he just…?

“Yes, Spock.” T’Val acknowledged. Jim watched as she quietly padded over to her bedroom, opening the door a sliver before slinking through and shutting it with a soft ‘click’.

“Did you seriously just ground her?” Jim asked, rounding on Spock. He hadn’t even realised Spock was capable of doing things like that; it was just too Human.

Spock walked into the living room without answering, and Jim’s eyes trailed after him before he placed his own shoes on the rack and followed after. Once in the living room he saw Spock stride up to the window, facing outside with his hands clasped behind his back in his usual, straight posture. Jim allowed himself to sink onto the couch, letting out a deep sigh. God, this felt like the first time in ages he was able to relax.

“Sorry for arriving without calling ahead,” Jim opened, waving his hand in the air, indicating the whole situation. “It’s just that— T’Val visited our apartment again, Spock. I was at the library café when Bones rang out of the blue and told me she was there, and I barely got to ask him about it before he put her on the phone, telling me that I hadn’t visited in over _two weeks_ —“

“I am aware.” Spock interrupted. “She has a most displeasing habit of contacting you whenever she is experiencing negative emotional upheaval.”

A feeling of joy spread through Jim at the words. He was thrilled T’Val trusted him enough to confide in him when she was feeling upset; it kind of made him feel like he was the fun parent whereas Spock was the stricter one. If T’Val was comfortable enough to seek Jim out whenever she was feeling sad that meant he was doing a good job of parenting, even if he had forgotten to spend time with her for over two weeks. 

The fact still made Jim feel incredibly guilty, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. It had happened, all he could focus on now was making sure T’Val regularly received his attention, making sure she wouldn’t feel jilted again. He needed to do a good job with her, because if he just cast her aside without explanation he was no better than Winona, and Jim was not—

No, _wait_ , hanging out with his Vulcans was supposed to get his mind off of Winona, not back on her.

“That’s good.” Jim nodded. “I want her to think I’m there for her, but shit, Spock; I haven’t visited in over two weeks. I had no idea! I mean, that’s half a month, and we sometimes have lessons twice a week.”

As Jim began ranting, Spock had started to slowly pace from the living room window to the kitchen entrance, quietly repeating this path several times over.

Jim dropped his face into his hands, still reeling from the fact that he’d ignored T’Val for so long. “I mean… why didn’t you tell me she was feeling this way, Spock? I know we’ve only met like once these past weeks, which fair enough, is insane, but I didn’t realise I hadn’t met T’Val even less! This is really bad, Spock, I mean the girl has had a life where she’s been abandoned countless of times. It’s been her mom, her dad, both who are her _parents_ , and so if she has us, two people she’s really grown to trust, leave her so suddenly it’s going to affect her pretty badly.”

Spock was in the midst of pacing back towards the kitchen entrance when he came to a sudden halt. His tone was a low rumble as he tersely uttered, “This is all your fault.”

“Excuse me?” Jim asked, lifting his head from his hands. He was pretty sure he’d misheard Spock.

Spock whirled on him, the tension in his body evident in the way he held himself. The man’s voice was tight as he spoke, control a difficult concept for him at this very moment. “This predicament is entirely your fault. These past few weeks T’Val has been displaying more and more Human traits, and it has been proliferating drastically.”

“So? She lives on Earth, she’s bound to pick up on some things.” Jim argued, scowling.

Spock stepped closer to Jim, invading his space and looming over him as he bit out the words. “T’Val’s burgeoning emotionalism is the result of your _Human_ lessons, Jim, and it is the leading cause behind her erratic behaviour. Had she focussed on strictly following Vulcan teachings she would know that this/what has happened was a natural and logical progression.” 

“The _logical progression_?” Jim repeated, voice rising. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” 

“It is logical, Jim. I will be departing aboard the _Enterprise_ in over a year’s time, you will be completing your studies and most certainly have no plans of remaining on Earth, both Leonard and Nyota will follow suit academically with various outcomes afterwards, which will leave T’Val on her own. It is impossible for us to stay, yet she wishes for it. It is irrational and unreasonable, so in short, extremely Human behaviour.” Spock snapped.

Jim had been steadily growing more and more miffed during the man’s diatribe, his tone inflaming him further until finally he shot up from the couch and faced Spock head on.

“She’s just a fucking kid, Spock! You can’t expect her to accept the fact that you’re leaving just like that!” He barked, fists clenched at his side. He couldn’t believe Spock was actually insinuating that a _child_ , a small child, should just be okay with her main support system just disappearing off.

“It is unavoidable.” Spock returned tersely, his dark brown eyes locked on Jim’s livid blue ones.

“She’s eight! She doesn’t know that!”

“All Vulcans know—“

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Jim dismissed, shaking his head.

Spock’s voice heightened, speaking over Jim in a manner he’d never done before. “All Vulcans know that the logical decision will always be favourable to those based on emotional values. There is certainty and security in logic, whereas the same cannot be said of emotions.”

“Logic doesn’t always dictate a person’s own interests.” Jim snarled, crossing his arms over his chest, his fingers digging into his flesh. “It doesn’t meant that’s what the person wants.”

“But it is what is best.”

“Says you!” Jim snapped.

“It is _kaiidth_ , Jim.” Spock said firmly.

Jim clenched his jaw. His muscles were tight from being held in place when all he wanted to do was thrash about the place, to work his fury with Spock out of his system, out of his body and mind.

When Spock spoke again this time around, it was slower, and his voice sounded tired. “Jim, I cannot argue this with you any longer. Your emotionalism is hindering you from seeing the unavoidable: I will be accepting a position aboard the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ and T’Val will be relocated elsewhere. The sooner she accepts this outcome, the easier it will be for her to help me make the appropriate arrangements.”

Jim’s eyes flashed at those words. He felt his very being overcome with rage, the emotion tearing all throughout his body. It felt as if he couldn’t contain it, felt as if it were about to burst out of him like vomit. He was so fucking _pissed_ with Spock, wanted to yell at him, tell him he was wrong and emotionless and so goddamn numb it was making Jim sick to his core.

But instead he thinned his lips, and with as much effort as he could muster turned on his heel and headed for the door, grabbing his jacket on the way out before slamming the door shut behind him.

The ensuing silence following Jim’s departure was so quiet you could hear a needle drop. Spock’s breathing was shallow, his fingers clenched around his arm still behind his back, hidden from sight. Spock stood in his place for several moments, the quietude of the flat making itself more known. Finally, he eased his hold and allowed himself to utter a sigh. 

The altercation had been incredibly distressing. He had never before raised his voice as he had done with Jim; even though it was just a smidgen louder than his usual, it felt as if he were shouting at the top of his lungs. Spock felt drained. He understood Jim’s words in regards to emotional importance came from a good place, but in their current situation they were unproductive. What Spock had said was true, every bit of it. He would undoubtedly be accepting the prestigious position as XO aboard the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ , which meant he would unable to care for T’Val and she would need to be relocated elsewhere. 

Spock would not be present in his apartment for the five years the starship’s first mission was to last, and there was no one he knew who would be residing in San Francisco for such an amount of time. He could not leave T’Val on her own as she was still considered a minor by Terran laws, and as such was prohibited from remaining in the apartment despite the fact that it was her home now. It was her home together with Spock, from her own cup that she drank juice from in the mornings to the small shoes sat on the shoe rack to her room—

Spock froze. T’Val had been in her room for the entirety of their verbal argument. Had she…

Spock hurried to her door, calming his nerves before reaching forward and carefully rapping his knuckles against the door. There was no reply. Spock hesitated only briefly before gently pressing down the handle and easing the door open.

“T’Val?” He called faintly.

The lamp in the room was turned on, basking the entire area with artificial light. Spock saw a small figure on the bed, curled in on themselves and pressed against the wall. He stepped further inside the room, letting go of the door handle.

“T’Val, are you unwe—“ He stopped when he noticed she was tugging at the lobes of her ears, gaze directed out the window. A wave of guilt came over Spock. Evidently she had overheard his and Jim’s altercation. The tension he had previously felt when locked in the argument with Jim returned to his body, stretching out into every limb. Spock’s hands fell awkwardly to his sides, strangely unsure as to how to hold them. “You overheard our argument.”

T’Val gave one curt nod in reply.

Spock inhaled deeply, his fingers twitching. He smoothed them over his trousers, feeling his palms perspire as he attempted to gather himself. He silently approached her bed, footsteps soft, then cautiously perched himself on the edge of it. 

He saw T’Val turn further away from her, and the act had his heart clenching. He did not enjoy seeing her so closed off, especially from him. They had been on the path of recovery since her last outburst, their relationship returning to how it used to be before, yet now… He felt as if he were losing her once more. The miserable emotion that train of thought elicited was extremely worrying. 

Spock gingerly placed his fingers over T’Val’s, attempting to transfer warmth and care to her.

T’Val whimpered, and Spock’s protectiveness soared. His instinctual reaction was to increase the amount of fond emotions he was giving her, focusing in specifically on things Spock knew made her happy. Petting small, furry creatures, enjoying fresh broth hot from the hob, the feeling of fingers stroking through her hair. Since T’Val had relocated to Earth she had had no to little practice in shielding, and that along with her young age meant it was no hardship for Spock to send these affectionate emotions her way since she had no means of blocking them.

Spock made sure to shift heaps of affection and love over to T’Val, hoping it would placate her somewhat, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. T’Val’s shoulders hunched in on her, her entire being radiating distress.

The observation had Spock momentarily ceasing the process. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He swallowed, then again gave talking an attempt. “T’Val, are you…” He began uncertainly. “Do you wish for me to shield?”

“It is not fair…” She uttered, her voice cracking.

Spock’s eyebrows furrowed. “T’Val, what do you me—“

She suddenly whirled on him, eyes big and wet. “It’s not fair! You should not be allowed to still love me if you plan on leaving! People who love you don’t leave you.” She whined, her lower lip jutting out.

Spock’s mouth dropped open, his mind unable to comprehend all that he had just witnessed. T’Val yelling. T’Val’s obvious misery. T’Val’s words. Everything in her reaction caused a deep hurt in Spock, so powerful he felt his throat clog up. He was unable to form a proper reply, his mind having gone painfully blank at a time when he most needed its help. He saw T’Val watching him closely, her eyebrows furrowed as she awaited his reply.

Spock didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. He felt wholly, and totally, helpless.

Catching T’Val’s dark eyes with his own, Spock opened up, mouth dry as the words quietly spilled out. “I am sorry, T’Val.”

What followed would forever be seared into Spock’s mind as one of the worst memories he ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

He watched, horrified, as T’Val’s eyebrows creased further. He saw her lower lip start to tremble, her eyes turning watery until finally tears spilled over her cheeks and she began to wail silently. Her entire body was wracked with chocked off sobs, hot tears streaming down her round cheeks that were rapidly turning green. 

Spock froze, the sight of his child openly weeping, crying because of _him_ , throwing him into a state of panic.

He had no idea what to do. He had never been in such a situation before. T’Val wails were not loud in any sense, but he felt each and every sound like a punch to the gut. His chest hurt, he felt overwhelmed, overcome with inadequacy, useless, hopeless, ineffective, he _could not do anything_.

Spock watched with dismay as T’Val’s small shoulders quivered, seemingly unable to stop. He vaguely recalled that when he was younger his mother would administer him hugs despite him not being upset in any form or manner, but the act had always inflicted a sense of calm over him. The warmth of another being pressing close, the loving thoughts caressing his mind as he allowed himself to give in to the safety. It was what T’Val needed right now.

Spock scooted further up the bed, attempting to awkwardly wrap his arms around her, but to no avail. He felt T’Val’s tiny hands push him away, and his heart broke. He saw her tiny body overcome with another bout of sobs, her shoulders shaking violently as she unsuccessfully tried to keep her emotions under control.

Spock once more attempted to place his arms around T’Val, and this time she did not fight. She didn’t accept them either, but Spock thought it was more important that she did not resist. Gently, oh so gently, he urged her towards him and, and the small push caused T’Val to instantly throw herself against his chest. She attached herself to his chest, tiny hands curling into his tunic, and Spock’s hands fell over her, soothingly rubbing circles into her back. He felt her body shaking viciously, but he endured the uncomfortableness of the situation as T’Val wept into his chest. He felt the wetness from her tears and snot soak into his thin tunic, but he didn’t care. He continued stroking her back, and slowly, so slowly she wouldn’t notice it, sent along bits of affection to her.

He revisited memories T’Val had shared with her, memories of her mother which he had kept in his mind in a cabinet specifically dedicated to T’Val. He pushed forth the feeling of family she cherished between her own parents, the deep love she held for them though she had been taught to tamper down on it when in Vulcan. 

Spock continued to do this for several minutes, sending her calming and affectionate thoughts, and eventually he felt her shaking wearing off. After a few more moments he felt her relax against his chest, and he continued to rub her back as he pushed soothing thoughts her direction. Spock looked down to where her head was buried in the crook of his neck and noticed that her eyes had fallen shut.

It seemed as if McCoy had been correct in his assurance that children tired themselves out by crying.

Spock waited until he heard T’Val’s breathing even out, the soft puffs of air against his collarbone finally convincing him that she had begun to fall into slumber. He held her close to his chest as he slid off the bed, then using one hand he pulled back the duvet and gently lay her down, ensuring she did not wake. Once he was certain T’Val was still dozing, he slipped into bed with her, pulling the duvet over the two of them and pulling her close.

Spock lay with her for a while, continuously sending her warmth and loving thoughts. He put focus on all the times they had cooked together, T’Val taking a keen interest in one of Spock’s passions causing a deep stirring of affection in him. He showed how her antics, though sometimes exasperating, made him feel elated and proud of her, and how he constantly looked forward to hearing about all her experiences at school. He pressed on, enhancing his affection for her and everything that she was, all that she was compromised of, ensuring that she could never doubt his love for her. Not when she awoke, because the traces of his love would remain in her mind.

Spock was unsure as to how much time had passed, but soon he felt T’Val had slipped into a deep slumber. Her eyes were shut and forehead no longer creased, breathing deep and even. Slowly, he extracted himself from the bed, then pulled the duvet up to her shoulders before quietly padding towards the door.

Once on the other side Spock shut the door, letting his hand hang on the handle for a few seconds longer than required. He turned towards the living room, eyes crawling over the furniture as he recalled the altercation that had taken place here not long ago.

Jim.

Spock held back a sigh. It was still extremely upset with the man, but he felt it necessary to contact him and inform him of the developments with T’Val. Despite Spock’s displeasure with Jim at the moment, there was no doubt he cared for T’Val highly and would want an update on what had just occurred.

Spock went into his room and picked up his communicator from his desk. He saw he had a few messages from Starfleet as well as a missed called from Christopher, most likely in regards to the XO position offer. Spock ignored them all in favour of bringing up Jim’s number, then calling him.

The dial tone on the end kept beeping for several moments until finally Spock hung up. He tried calling Jim again, but there was no reply. Spock was not one to be undeterred, and instead of calling a third time he decided to send him a succinct message entailing the incident with T’Val.

_[To: Jim]  
T’Val cried today._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe I was listening to 'It's Tricky' on repeat while writing this entire chapter


	23. Chapter 23

Jim was so tired he was sure his eyelids were burning his eyes from the inside every time he blinked. It probably wasn’t the case, but it damn well felt like it.

He yawned, his mouth stretching wide, and took a gander around. He was in the library once more, though why, he had no idea. He could admit at this point that yeah, he’d done more than enough revision, and there really wasn’t any reason for him to be here now and re-read practice essays for the billionth time. But, there was this tiny voice inside of his head, the same one that always thought there was a miniscule possibility everything could go to shit, telling him that if he didn’t spend every free moment on hand revising then he would fail. 

Jim knew failing wouldn’t bring forth the end of the world with destruction and despair, but considering all of his grades so far had been top marks he’d feel all kinds of annoyed if there was just one, single ‘F’ on his final results. Just a row of ‘A’s from first year lined up all next to each other only to be finished off with an ‘F’. Even the image had Jim bristling, and he knew it was probably very unhealthy how obsessed he was with doing well in his classes, but still he kept on revising past the doctor’s recommended dosage. 

Though to be fair, Jim never really followed Bones’ health advice unless it was a matter of life or death, and even then only if he was hard pressed. God, he really was a terrible patient. No wonder Bones was always all up in his face about eating correctly, sleeping enough, exercising well and all that other stuff people did to survive. Maybe he should start listening to him a bit more… and maybe if he did Bones would stop trying to ambush him with hypos all the time.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asked. Jim pulled himself out of his thoughts, looking towards the voice.

Hey, it was Uhura.

Jim looked down at where her hand was sat on the back of the chair next to him, then smiled weakly. 

“Not at all.”

A light frown came over Uhura’s face, but she pulled out the chair and gracefully took a seat.

“Are you alright?”

“Just great.” Jim nodded, blinking slowly. Wow, his eyelids were really feeling heavy.

“Uh-huh.” She said, sounding unconvinced. “The bags under your eyes are really great evidence of that.”

Jim’s hand instinctively reached up to touch them. “I’m just… slept too much, is all.” He explained, unable to stop the dumb lie from coming out. He decided to swiftly go on the defence, putting on a teasing smile. “Also didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to comment on someone’s appearance unless it’s positive?”

“I must’ve missed out on that lesson.” Uhura quipped, shaking her head. “Seriously though, are you okay? You look, like, seriously tired.”

Jim let out a broken laugh. “Thanks.” He said dryly.

Uhura pursed her lip, looking at him with a pensive look on her face, then commented, “Spock’s been looking pretty shit too lately. And that’s quite a weird thing to see, what with him being so clean-cut and neat all the time.”

Jim tensed up at the name, but he still managed to give a curt nod to show he’d heard her.

Fucking Spock.

Jim had received his message about T’Val crying, but he’d still been feeling the residual anger from their fight, and so he hadn’t replied. That had been four days ago, and the more time passed the more Jim felt like a complete jerk. He felt bad about not being there for T’Val when she had such a sudden burst of emotion, he really did; he couldn’t imagine how Spock must’ve felt watching her break down into tears. Hell, Jim was even having trouble picturing it and he’d seen as well as done his fair share of crying.

It’s just… the longer he put off not calling Spock, the worse his guilt felt, so the obvious solution would be to call him before any more time passed. But the thing was, he couldn’t do that either, because his guilt was already so huge that he was even incapable of picking up his comm and scrolling down to find Spock’s number. Just looking at it got his palms sweaty, so Jim had just ignored it. Had ignored the whole issue. It was a terrible coping mechanism, and he had definitely found himself between a rock and a hard place, but he just, physically, _could not_.

Man, he felt so terrible about T’Val, honestly. He wished he could have helped out somehow because Spock was always so skittish when it came to actually handling anything that had to do with feelings. But with T’Val… see, Spock may have insecurities when it came to properly caring for T’Val, but Jim knew the little lady loved him to bits, and he could tell that Spock very obviously loved her back. So yeah, even if Spock thought he was awful when it came to dealing with emotions, he still tried his best for T’Val’s sake, and that really showed what a stand up guy he was.

Jim wondered if Spock had told Uhura about T’Val crying too. They seemed like they were good friends, but he didn’t know how close. She did do T’Val’s hair from time to time, and she and Spock were close and hung out whenever they were free, but he didn’t know how much Spock was comfortable sharing with her about his parenting. Maybe they kept their personal troubles out of their conversations and focused on more intellectually stimulating conversations, like the ethics of different races or language etymologies. 

Though from what he’d heard from Spock whenever they spoke, that is, before this whole emotional shit storm, Uhura would always update him on every single detail of her life. He’d heard a fair bit about her family, her hobbies, her opinions on things, and honestly Jim felt as if he knew her pretty well despite the fact that he hadn’t spoken to her beyond that one time. Surely that meant Spock did the same in return, telling Uhura all about his life, his work, his… oh God. His _romantic_ life.

“Oh my God,” Jim huffed out a laugh, eyes flashing over to Uhura. She was glancing at him with a weirded out look, clearly wondering about Jim’s out of the blue reaction. “I just realised you’re Spock’s girlfriend.”

Uhura threw him a perplexed look. “I’m really not.”

“Not like actual girlfriend. I mean the girlfriend who he goes to and bitches about his problems to. That girlfriend.” Jim clarified.

“So basically a friend who is also a girl?” She said slowly, cocking a thin brow.

Jim thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah.”

Uhura let out a snort and shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”

Jim grinned at her, and he saw the corner of her lips were twitching. It was obvious she wanted to smile, but she was pulling this whole ‘serious’ shtick. Not on Jim’s watch. He was about to open his mouth to hopefully turn that smile into a grin when his communicator vibrated. 

“Just a moment, I got a message.” Jim excused himself, dragging out his comm unit. 

_[From: Bones]  
Landlord from the apartment we were looking at pulled out. No reason given, the fucker._

Jim cursed lowly, dropping his communicator onto the table and running his hands through his hair. Fuck.

“Everything okay?” Uhura asked in a worried tone.

“Just splendid.” Jim bit out, then sighed. Everything was going to shit now, wasn’t it? Total shit.

“What’s up?” Uhura pressed, her voice softening.

“Nothing.” Jim uttered, sitting back up in his seat. Man, today was just not a good day. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Come on, unload on your girlfriend.” She said, knocking her shoulder into his. Jim snorted, biting his lips in an effort to hold back his smile.

“You really couldn’t have worded that any better?” He said, voice low. He was still damn tired, but he couldn’t help making fun of Uhura for her choice of words.

Uhura grinned at him. “Spill.”

Jim shook his head with a chuckle. He bit his lip, contemplating whether he should actually tell her about his worries or bottle it up to slowly burn and combust like a Molotov cocktail. He eventually settled for the truth.

“Just… some problems my buddy and I are running into. We’ve gone apartment hunting these past few weeks hoping to find someplace, but there’s not much luck.” He finished with a shrug.

Uhura nodded along, clearly emphasising with his dilemma. “It’s difficult to get a decent place here unless you’ve got money.”

“Ain’t that a bitch.” Jim muttered. “We were really hoping to get something soon, because Bones— that’s my friend— he’s gone through some stuff and been crashing at my place all this time. It drives my current roommate up the fucking wall, but he’s an asshole so I really couldn’t give a shit. But Bones doesn’t like it, feels like he’s overstayed his welcome.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jim agreed. “We were actually just looking for a room at first, because we were just looking for a place for Bones, but then Spock said that I clearly didn’t like my roommate and Bones is my best friend, so why don’t we just look for an apartment together.”

“It’s a very logical train of thought.” She commented, directing a teasing smile at him. 

“When I find myself in times of trouble, my friend Spock comes to me, speaking words of wisdom…” Jim hummed, causing Uhura to snigger.

“Some solid advice.”

“Isn’t it though?” Jim grinned, but it dimmed slightly. “Wish it was as simple as just wishing for it to happen.”

Uhura pursed her lips, looking as if she were deep in thought. She then reached back into her bag and pulled out her communicator. “What’s your number?”

“Um, what?” Jim blinked slowly. It was really taking effort to keep his eyes open. Maybe he should take a break soon.

“Your number. I need it.” Uhura repeated, holding out her comm.

“Why?” He asked suspiciously.

“I think I might be able to help you with your situation. You remember how I told you about my grandmother?”

“Yeah?” Jim drawled.

“Well, she used to work in real estate, and she still keeps in contact with some of the people at her company who are still working in the business.” Uhura explained.

“No way.” Jim breathed in awe, eyes widening. “That would be so fucking helpful.”

“I know, so give me your number, dumbass.” Uhura smirked, eyes glimmering with amusement. 

Jim scrambled to fish out his comm unit and brought up his number, showing it to Uhura who quickly inputted it into her own, saving his number under the name ‘Pretty Boy’.

Jim raised his brows at that. “Thanks.”

“It’s not a lie.” Uhura shrugged, putting her comm back into her bag.

“I suppose… though seriously, thank you so much for this, Uhura. You have no idea how grateful I am, even if it doesn’t lead to anything I’m just happy you might be able to help us.” Jim gushed, genuinely thankful.

Uhura waved away his comment. “Don’t worry about it, it’s my pleasure. Besides," She glanced up at Jim with a smirk. "I have a feeling you’ll be sticking around for a while.”

*

Jim had managed to stay at the library for another fifteen minutes before Uhura began shoving his belongings into his back, telling him to go home and get some sleep. He’d made to argue weakly, but she just held up a finger, and Jim knew not to say another word. It was strange the kind of power he had over him with that one small gesture, but he’d heard from Spock that people who defied Uhura’s orders usually ended up becoming very closely involved with her wrath. Jim was cool just being friends with her wrath.

He’d yawned his way through a thanks, slowly rising from his seat and taking his bag from Uhura who was staying behind to study for her upcoming _Shevat’na Linguistics_ exam. With a quiet goodbye Jim left, throwing Uhura a wave which then went up to cover his second yawn. Damn, he really was beat.

The cold wind outside was a welcome greeting, sobering him up a bit and chasing away the tiredness. He inhaled deeply, the chill air filling up his insides. It hadn’t yet begun to snow, but there wasn’t a doubt in Jim’s mind that it’d come soon. It was the beginning of December after all, and usually there’d be a thin layer by mid-month, finishing off with tons of the stuff by the turn of the year. It was drastic weather changes like this that made him miss Iowa.

Jim slowly strolled down the path, heading home. He was feeling extremely drained, but still his mind couldn’t rest easy. He thought of Spock, about how the guy had tried calling Jim twice now since their fight and Jim had responded to exactly zero of those. That’s maybe why Jim hadn’t received any further calls. Spock probably didn’t feel confident enough to try it again because he never answered, and well, Jim couldn’t blame it on anyone else but himself. At least he was self-aware enough to know that, though that wasn’t even worth being proud of.

Jim fished out his comm, stifling another yawn. Fuck, he really needed to get home and just crash. His sight was already getting kind of blurry, and he could feel wetness at the insides of hi eyes whenever he blinked. Swiping at the tears, Jim pulled up Spock’s number. He stared at it for a while, sweaty palms coming on as the familiar feeling of guilt came over him.

Fuck, he was such a dick.

Jim pocketed his comm, sighed into his hands, then fished it out again, bringing up Spock’s number. Yeah, he didn’t feel any less guilty. But that didn’t matter, his guilt didn’t matter right now. He’d spent several days moping and avoiding any contact with Spock and T’Val— who he _promise_ he would try harder to spend time with, God Jim was a cock— and he was really in no position to feel sorry for himself. Spock was probably freaking the fuck out too, oscillating between being scared and guilty, and on some level maybe wanting to make up? Jim hoped so considering he’d called him several times.

Jim emitted a deep sigh.

He needed to stop being a little bitch and just _call the guy_.

He stared down at his communicator again, blinking slowly at the number. No, he couldn’t do it.

Jim pocketed his communicator, shaking his head, then instantly took it back out, flipping open to Spock’s number. Fuck, he had a problem. Jim peered down at the number, his mind racing with thoughts on what he should do, how things could go wrong, worst case scenarios, how badly he’d cry if things went bad, all those things. It seemed as if the little voice that usually lived in the back of his head had taken a front seat and was repeatedly bellowing negative shit through a megaphone. Just great.

Just a swipe of his thumb, that’s all that was needed. Just one swipe. 

Jim held his breathe, narrowed his eyes down at his comm unit, and before he could change his mind quickly tapped Spock’s number.

The familiar sight of the three dots jumping across the screen as the device proceeded to call the recipient showed up, and Jim’s breathe hitched. He immediately regretted his decision.

“Jim.” A very, very familiar voice said, and Jim bit back a curse. He’d been too slow. It was too late now. He couldn’t very well just hang up on Spock, that’d be… well, Jim already thought of himself as a bastard, but that would have been too much.

“Hey, Spock.” Jim breathed, his heart racing. His fingers felt numb, and what the fuck, he was wide awake all of a sudden? What even…

There was silence on the other end, nothing but the soft breathing of Spock coming through. Jim kept quiet too, not having a single clue as to what he should say. What he could say. He bit his lip, dampening down a rising sigh. He really hadn’t thought this through.

Jim felt anxiety begin to claw at the back of his throat, but thankfully Spock finally spoke.

“I am relieved you called.”

“Yeah.” Jim coughed, then cleared his throat. “Sorry about… yeah, I’m just sorry.” He finished awkwardly.

“It is quite alright.” Spock assured him, and Jim knew that was bullshit. Spock must have been feeling really off kilter if he was being this polite. _Fuck_.

“I got the message about T’Val.” Jim said in a rush.

There was no reply from other side.

“Is she… is she doing okay?” He asked hesitantly, fingers tightening around his comm.

“I am not certain. We have not conversed much since her outburst.” Spock revealed slowly, his voice monotone. Despondent, maybe? Jim suddenly wished he was there in person so he could at least gauge the man’s reaction. He’d really been getting good at reading him, especially with those eyebrows.

Jim wanted to ask which one of T’Val’s outbursts, but as he thought it he realised that it was bad. If he even had to ask which one then it was clear things had escalated way out of hand. Wasn’t he supposed to help T’Val understand Humans and emotionalism? Wasn’t Spock supposed to take care of that with their melds? What the hell was happening, where the hell had they gone wrong?

“That… that sucks, man.” Jim uttered, digging his teeth into his lower lip.

“Indeed.” Spock agreed, voice still so soft.

Jim rubbed his hand over his forehead, contemplating how they could help. Nothing. Nothing came to mind.

“So she’s not responsive at all?”

“Save for showing excitement for her possible trip to Japan, she has been wholly unresponsive.”

“Wait, what?” Jim backtracked, coming to a sudden halt. “What trip to Japan?”

“Ah, yes.” Spock’s tone changed slightly, turning surer. “You recall I informed you about contacting Kikyo’s mother and sister in Japan?”

“Yeah.”

“They have returned my messages and have stated their wish to have T’Val visit them.” Spock shared.

“That’s great.” Jim smiled, starting up on his path again. He didn’t show much enthusiasm for it, he knew, but he truly was happy about hearing the news. He was glad T’Val was able to show some excitement still, even if Jim hadn’t seen it for a while.

“Yes, I believe so too. They shared that the last time they had met with T’Val she was two years of age, and have only seen holos of her since.”

“It’ll be good of them to meet again after so many years. Was it easy to set up?” Jim asked.

“On the whole it was simple.” Spock answered. “I believe they found my Standard to be troublesome as I often had to repeat myself, but we managed to successfully understand one another.”

“That’s good, then.” Jim said, kicking at a small rock in his path. It skittered diagonally and disappeared into the grass. He still couldn’t bring himself to muster up much excitement, which was awful, because he was really happy about these developments. At least something good was happening outside of all the shit.

“Jim, are you well?” Spock inquired suddenly.

“I’m just fine?” Jim replied, confused at himself at the answer. Why had he finished it as a question?

“You sound unsure.”

“Sorry, Spock.” Jim rubbed at his eyes, another yawn coming over him. “Guess I’m just tired.”

“If you wish we can conclude our conversation.”

“No, wait,” Jim said suddenly, trying to blink himself more awake. “I don’t want that. Could… could you stay on? Please?”

“Very well.” Spock agreed. Jim felt relief burst through his chest. Spock was going to stay on. That was good. That meant he wasn’t angry… hopefully.

“I actually was wondering something… about T’Val’s sudden emotional surges.” Jim began, swiping at the corner of his eyes again. Fuck, it was still wet. “Do you, um. Do you guys happen to have any studies on Human-Vulcan hybrids in the Vulcan archives?”

There was a beat of silence, then Spock replied, “I believe there are a few.”

There might be a few. Good. That was good. He’d originally thought of accessing the archives so that he could see how Human-Vulcan relationships worked, but he wasn’t going to tell Spock that.

And well… even though Jim still held an intense dislike for the experiments Vulcan ran on its citizens, like had a huge, fucking problem with it, if it could possibly help them with T’Val then… well, then he might make an exception at looking them over. 

Except he couldn’t, since he didn’t have access to them or either read or spoke Vulcan. But Spock did.

“You don’t have to read it,” Jim began cautiously. “But do you think it might be helpful to look at those studies?”

Jim seriously couldn’t believe he was asking this. He was so against the methods Vulcan used when gaining their information, but yet here he was, asking Spock if he could possibly look into them. He tried justifying his request by telling himself that this was their best shot at figuring out how to help T’Val. They needed a starting point, and maybe what she was experiencing was common in Vulcan-Human hybrids. His only other point of reference was Spock, and well, the guy remained pretty damn tight-lipped about his emotional side.

“I presume you mean for T’Val?” Spock asked.

“Yeah.” Jim nodded. No way in hell was he revealing that he’d originally thought of looking through the Vulcan-Human data to help approach a relationship with Spock. “Just, maybe there’s something in there that’s similar to what we’re experiencing with her. Maybe it’s common in Vulcan-Human hybrids, or not at all but there might be documented cases of what she’s going through.”

Jim hated himself for this. He really did. He was essentially skirting the line between seeing T’Val as the child she was and seeing her as an experiment. The thought made him sick.

God, but it was kind of similar on Earth, wasn’t it? Maybe not to the same extent as Vulcans did, and not as formal, but there were examples. There were loads of mommy blogs online, parents sharing information on webpages or in person, even best-selling books on how to care for children. The difference was just that these people had used their own kids as reference points for their advice, and the Vulcans had used their own population. It was kind of… similar, right?

Jim sighed. He was so bad at lying. Why did he ever think he was good at it? Had there honestly been a time where he’d been good at bullshitting outside of his academic work?

“Perhaps there may be relevant information in the archives.” Spock said, bringing Jim out of his gloom.

“Like I said, you don’t have to read it,” Jim stressed, his voice slow. Man, he was feeling so drained. Both physically exhausted and from this conversation. He really needed to sleep and block out the world for a while. “But if there is something possible useful in there, maybe just having a quick look would be good.”

“I will see what I can find.” Spock promised. Jim couldn’t gauge the guy’s opinion towards his suggestion, but Spock didn’t sound pissed so hopefully it was okay. Maybe he knew it was the logical answer. Maybe he knew it was what was best. After all, it wasn’t as if they were approaching this thinking T’Val was a study of sorts. No, they had her best interests in mind and were looking to help her in any way they could. 

Even if that way involved retorting to data gained through, in Jim’s opinion, unethical means. He really was too tired to contemplate on that decision any longer, feeling bleary-eyed and weary. He could see his building coming up. Thank God. Just another few steps and he’d reach home.

Jim nodded slowly, stifling another yawn, and quietly said, “Thank you.”


	24. Chapter 24

It was 11:30 in the morning and Jim was currently carefully slicing button mushrooms in Spock’s kitchen. The man himself was sat at the kitchen table, minding his own business as he looked up the cost of shuttles to Japan for him and T’Val. He said he wanted to travel during the summer holidays, preferably towards the end of August, but it seemed that was a popular time for tourists if the prices were any indication. Jim was sure he could buy himself half a used hovercar in pretty decent shape for a return ticket to Japan, that’s how extortionate it was.

Once he finished slicing the mushrooms Jim placed the cut up pieces into a small bowl, then went to open the refrigerator and grabbed two carrots. He shut the door and headed towards the sink, giving Spock a small smile as he passed. The man returned it with a nod before his eyes flashed back to his PADD, the small crease between his eyebrows deepening.

“Where’s the peeler?” Jim asked Spock absently, looking placing the carrots by the sink.

“It is in the third drawer left of the sink.” The guy replied, gaze still locked on his screen.

“Thanks,” Jim opened up the drawer, and sure enough, there was the little green and white peeler. He took it out and kneed the drawer shut again before getting to work.

He began peeling at his own pace, letting the comfortable silence in the room wash over him. It was important for Jim that he get used to it, and in general get used to hanging around Spock. Truthfully, on some weird emotional level he really needed to be in Spock’s presence since their fight, partly because he had to reassure himself that they weren’t drifting apart, and partly because Spock calmed him down, and in preparation for Winona’s upcoming visit he really needed some tranquillity. 

Jim had told Spock about his reason, and even though the guy hadn’t looked as if he fully understood, he still allowed Jim to stick around. He was kind of glad that Spock wasn’t asking more in depth questions about Winona, but at the same time he wanted to share why he felt this way. The thing though, was that he didn’t want to share unless someone asked. That was Jim’s problem; he didn’t really feel comfortable exposing his worries and troubles to others because it just felt like he was unloading an unsolvable burden on them, and he always felt really guilty for putting them in that situation.

Though, he supposed, with Spock he’d have to learn to purposefully open up more. To initiate talks about his feelings, because Spock sure as hell wouldn’t be able to tell anything was wrong unless he deduced it from Jim’s body language. At least the guy was good at that.

Jim finished up his peeling, having fallen into humming softly somewhere along the way, then sliced them up the same as the mushrooms before dropping them into their own bowl. He wiped his hands on his jeans and swung around to face Spock with a smile.

“All done prepping.” He told the guy.

Spock gently put his PADD down. “Thank you, Jim.”

“Not a problem. It’s about time I learnt to make some more veggie meals.” He replied, thinking back on the time Spock, Bones and T’Val had all very pointedly informed him that his diet could change. He personally didn’t think he ate too much unhealthy stuff, but yeah, maybe adding more fresh vegetables to his meals wouldn’t be a bad move.

“We will begin cooking the meal once T’Val has returned from her classes.”

“Cool.” Jim nodded, taking a seat opposite Spock. “I hope she’ll like it. I’m putting my heart and soul into this.”

“You are exaggerating.”

“Not really.” Jim teased, shooting Spock a wink.

Spock’s eyes flickered down to the PADD briefly, and his eyebrows furrowed. “The costs of the tickets are increasing.”

“Yeah,” Jim nodded, peering close at the PADD’s screen. “They’ve got cookies on the website that check the amount of views each flight gets, and then the prices of those flights increase. The more views the higher they hike up the cost. Very dodgy stuff. Just use an incognito tab and you’ll get rid of that.”

“I am aware of how the pricing process on shuttle webpages work, however, I still remain disturbed by the methods used.” Spock murmured, clicking off his PADD. Apparently he wasn’t going to deal with it now.

“You and everyone else.” Jim agreed. “Is it too much for you and T’Val to go then?”

“It is not. I am able to easily afford a return ticket to Japan for two persons.”

“That’s good. You excited for it?”

“I am looking forward toward embarking on a recreational trip with T’Val more so than visiting another country. Though from my research I have concluded that Japan is immensely different from the Unite States, displaying an array of clashing customs as well as places to explore, my wish to experience this gift with T’Val before my departure outweighs that of my curiosity.” Spock finished solemnly.

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed in concern, his voice tentative as he asked, “She still feeling as upset about that as she did when you first told her?”

“Negative. However, she still displays dejection towards the prospect of my departure.”

“Seriously, Spock, isn’t there any way you could bring her with you on the ship? I mean, the Enterprise was built for officers to be able to bring their families aboard too, it’s a five year mission after all— surely T’Val could be allowed on.” He stressed, trying to figure out ways to convince the guy to take T’Val with him. They were a family, and you couldn’t just separate family like that.

Spock peered at Jim curiously, tilting his head. “Jim. You are aware T’Val is not my child.”

A sudden blush came over Jim. Fuck. He’d actually forgotten about that. “Yeah, but she… you’re her legal guardian. And also the parental bond thing.”

“While she is on Earth, I am her legal guardian. However, her father and mother are still the key caregivers, and my parental bond with T’Val will never be able to override the one she has had since birth. It is simply due to circumstances that her parents are unable to care for T’Val themselves.” Spock explained reasonably.

“But you can.” Jim argued. “You have for a while, and there’s no reason you can’t take her with you on the _Enterprise_. There’ll be other families there too, from other crew members.” 

He may have known a bit too much about the flagship and what was included in, but to be fair it was very interesting and a big deal to be assigned to it. Besides, Jim wanted to make sure Spock would be alright on his mission. He very deliberately did not think about how he would be affected by the guy leaving, especially since T’Val’s outbursts definitely eclipsed his own. Jim at least was a grown adult and could come to terms about Spock’s career choices in a more subdued manner, but T’Val was a child, and a children didn’t usually fully understand the reason behind why things happen to them.

Spock gave a small shake of the head. “If I wished to take T’Val onto the Enterprise with me, I would require the approval of both of her parents. Kikyo is in no state to make such decisions, and Sekon would deem it illogical to have a child aboard a starship.”

“Can’t you… convince them somehow? Or Starfleet?” Jim winced as soon as the words were out his mouth. 

Spock’s eyes widened perceptively. “Jim. That is—“

“Illegal, yes, I know.” Jim amended right away, rubbing tired hands over his face. “Sorry, I was just getting desperate.”

“You have become incredibly attached to T’Val.” Spock noted.

Jim huffed a laugh. “That’s the pot calling the kettle back.”

Spock hesitated, then shared, “I do not deny that I am highly involved with T’Val.”

“No, you really don’t.” Jim smiled tenderly at him, his eyes softening. Spock averted his eyes, a dusting of green coming over his cheeks. Jim’s heart clenched, and he worried his lip between his teeth before saying, “I want to apologise.”

Spock’s gaze moved over to him, a slanted brow raised in confusion.

“For, um. For how I reacted during our fight.” Jim explained. He saw Spock’s shoulders tense momentarily, but he pushed himself to follow through with his apology. “It was really… really bad, Spock. I don’t disagree with what I said, not even a little bit, but I do think I should have handled it better. I’m sorry, I… I shouldn’t have left you to take care of T’Val all on his own.”

“You did not predict she would react in such a way, and so you are not at fault.” Spock tried appeasing him, but Jim wasn’t having any mincing of his apology.

“To some degree, I am. Look, I don’t want to fight about it,” Jim rushed out, seeing how Spock was about to argue. “I just wanted to get out my apology, and let you know that I really am sorry.”

Spock gave a nod in reply. “Then I too, apologise for my behaviour.”

Jim’s lips quirked up into a grin. “It was the first time I saw you anything remotely close to angry. Honestly, I’m still kind of boggled by it.”

Spock stared at Jim in silence, his eyes never straying from Jim’s own. Eventually, he announced, “Jim, I wish to engage in another mind meld with you.”

Jim felt the bottom of his stomach drop out.

“Rest assured, this will not follow the path of our previous meld.” Spock told him instantly, probably having seen the sudden fear in Jim’s eyes. “At the time I had been unaware of our high compatibility, and as such was unprepared to ease you into the meld. This time, however, I will endeavour to do so, and I will do so successfully.”

Jim kept quiet, his mind blaring with various thoughts about what he should do. ‘Run’ seemed to be reigning supreme right now, but other thoughts were battling it out inside his mind, clambering for his attention.

“I believe it is only fair that you see what I keep stored in my mind since I have already inadvertently seen yours.” Spock added, and Jim’s mind raced.

“I don’t know, Spock…” He mumbled, ducking his head.

“I would be pleased if you were to accept my offer.” Spock said earnestly, his tone a soft rumble.

Jim pursed his lips, thinking. His thought of ‘run’ was still holding up strong, but it was being flanked by other thoughts all around, most of them curious, wanting to give Spock a chance, to see what he’d seen in Jim’s mind. He wanted to know what Spock’s was like, what he had experienced, his thoughts, his coveted memories, his emotions. Jim wanted to experience the flurry of all of it, and that last thought was what tipped him towards accepting. 

“Alright.”

Jim saw how Spock’s shoulders seemed to ease slightly, the guy straightening up as he held out his left hand.

“You recall I placed my fingers on your meld points?” Spock asked.

“Yeah. You gonna do that again?” At Spock’s nod, Jim gestured at his face. “Go ahead.”

He felt Spock’s hand fall over his face once more, and Jim’s entire body stiffened. Last time this had happened they had immediately fallen into Jim’s mind, but this time, nothing. All Jim felt was the warmth radiating off of Spock’s nimble fingers.

“I realise you are experiencing some amount of trepidation, Jim, but know that we will not enter the meld we did previously. This time I will be leading you directly into my mind.” Spock explained.

He was obviously trying to calm Jim down, but truthfully, it wasn’t helping much. This was just one of those things that Jim wouldn’t be comfortable with until it was over, and only afterwards would he decide if he was alright with it or not. It was like going on a giant roller coaster for the first time; you’d be shitting yourself before you were even on it, but it was only once it was over that you realised whether you liked it or not.

“Okay.” Jim murmured, giving a slight nod, but Spock’s fingers obstructed the movement somewhat.

Jim watched as Spock’s eyes slipped shut, and he immediately followed suit, not knowing why. There was an inkling of a feeling that came over Jim, were small and insignificant, but it grew until finally he felt as if he were submerged under water. It wasn’t bad in the sense that he’d been pulled under, but more that he’d stood still and the water had risen around him. 

A few moments later that feeling melted away, and Spock’s voice declared, “Welcome, Jim.”

Jim opened his eyes, blinking several times as he took in his surroundings.

Huh. 

It… wasn’t really what he’d expected. To be fair, Jim wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t what looked to be a room full of filing cabinets. It reminded him of a back office, except the lighting here wasn’t that crappy fluorescent kind.

“This is… cool.” Jim said awkwardly, looking around. Yeah, it really was nothing more than just an endless number of filing cabinets.

“This is how I keep my mind organised.” Spock disclosed. 

“Filing cabinets?” Jim asked, glancing at the guy. Spock was dressed in the same black attire as when they were sat in the kitchen, but he was stood a few paces away from Jim. Maybe giving him his space or something, he wasn’t sure.

“I have found this to be the most useful method.” Spock revealed. “You are free to peruse as you wish.”

Jim’s eyebrows jumped up. “Are you serious?”

“It is only fair.” Spock responded.

“Hey, now…” Jim began softly, turning to the guy. “Just because you—“ He broke off, still not wholly comfortable with acknowledging what Spock had seen. Yeah, it was weird to think that, especially since Jim was in Spock’s mind at the moment, but that didn’t stop the thought from making itself known. Jim gathered himself, then tried again. “Just because you saw what was in my mind it doesn’t mean you have to show me yours.”

“I wish for you to see my memories, Jim.” Spock told him.

Jim bit his lower lip, taking in Spock’s stance. He couldn’t really draw anything from that, but his expression looked genuine enough. Not like a Human’s, of course not, but still more open than the guy usually allowed.

“Alright. Anywhere particular you want me to start?” Jim looked around the archives, taking in the many, many, _many_ filing cabinets. “How are these things even sorted?”

“The memories are arranged in chronological order, however each one of them has emotional value. It means that feelings are attached to them, which in turn are connected to other memories with similar emotions.” Spock described.

“So there’re repeats of your memories?” Jim asked, wanting to make sure he was understanding things correctly.

“That is accurate.” Spock affirmed.

“Interesting.” Jim nodded, taking another gander around the, well, he supposed they were in a room. There was a floor and lights, but he couldn’t make out any walls. His eyes trailed over the many filing cabinets set up next to each other, contemplating where he should first start. He’d essentially been given free reign of Spock’s mind, allowed to explore to his heart’s desire and see what happened in the mind of the stony-faced guy he was kind of quickly growing smitten with.

Jim’s gaze flickered over to Spock. “Where do you keep memories of me?”

All of a sudden a heavy air dropped over Jim, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to rise. He was immediately on guard, shoulders tensed. What the hell was that?

“I apologise,” Spock began slowly, ducking his head. “As you are in my mind, any emotion that I experience will be clearly felt.”

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s what that… feeling was?”

Spock gave a curt nod. Huh. So it was just… Spock. Feeling heavy. Jim didn’t have much time to debate on the why before the guy started speaking again.

“If you wish to investigate any and all memories relating to you, you should begin your exploration with this drawer.” He walked up to a random filing cabinet, one Jim would not have been able to differentiate between all the others even if you held a phaser to his head, and pulled out the drawer second to the bottom. Jim ambled over, his curiosity taking over as he watched Spock step back and allow him to take his place.

Jim carefully knelt down next to the open drawer, fingers gently flicking through the many papers there. Papers, not PADDs. Seemed Spock was fond of the old style organisation. Jim felt a tingle at the tip of his digits with every file he touched, a muffled feeling pricking at his finger pads. It was interesting. Jim pursed his lips, shuffling through the files until he decided to just pick one at random. He took a hold of one of the files and gently extracted it from the drawer, gripping onto it tight so that none of the pages would fall out.

Jim opened up the file, and he got the muted feeling of curiosity soaking into him. The memory in his hands was that of one of their earliest civil discussions, the one where Spock had asked about Human customs. Jim remembered finding the incident amusing, thinking that Spock was just like T’Val in his interest about Humans and their behaviour. He also remembered it as being the first time he’d seen the guy shut down so fast, and indeed, the memory ended with a sharp note, causing Jim to flinch back and cradle his hand to chest.

“Interesting.” He murmured, placing the file back inside the drawer. His hand fell on the next one, but he forewent that for another file closer to him. This one was of ‘interest’, and Jim felt how it faintly grew stronger, shifting into ‘attraction’. He smiled down at the file, noting that the memory was of when he first met Uhura, Spock remaining an outsider as he listened in on their conversation. Apparently he’d been impressed with Jim if the file was anything to go by, clearly not expecting him to get along so well with his friend. That made Jim snigger to himself, and he closed the file with a smile on his face. 

This was kind of really cool. He got to pick and choose what parts of Spock he saw, and it was so different to how the guy had seen Jim’s memories. That had apparently been accidental, neither of them expecting to be sucked in so forcefully, but this… well, it was all neat and ordered, like a library Jim could walk around and quietly browse its content. He liked it.

Jim closed the drawer and placed his hand on the one below it. “This me too?”

“Affirmative.” Spock responded.

Jim eased the drawer open, taking in how packed it was. It kind of made sense since they’d known each other for several months now, and during that time they’d gone through a lot of weird phases in regards to their relationship. Jim gently removed one of the files in the middle, opening it up only to feel a sharp sting of anger shoot through him. Jim dropped the file in his lap, rapidly running his fingers over each other to diminish the pain still left over.

He scowled down at the PADD, his eyes roving over the memory. This one was related to him, and it… wow, it was harsh.

“This is from our fight.” Jim realised aloud, continuing to follow the dark feelings that roiled in the memory. He had no idea Spock had felt so strongly about it. Even when he apologised about his behaviour he’d seemed so collected. So damn calm. Jim glanced over at Spock. “You were really angry with me.”

“At the time, yes.” Spock admitted, the air stiffening.

“Because I yelled at you about being emotionless.” Jim remembered, feeling guilt creep over him.

“Negative.”

Jim’s head snapped over to Spock. His scowl deepened. “No?”

The air in the room tightened further, and Spock repeated, “Negative.”

“Then… what for?” Jim inquired, honestly confused. From what he recalled, the subject of the fight had been about T’Val and how dumb Spock’s logic was in this situation. Had that not been the case for the guy himself?

“I was upset because… T’Val confides in you.” Spock revealed in a murmur.

Jim’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead. “Hang on. You’re angry because T’Val 'confides in me'?”

“When she is experiencing distress she escapes to you.” Spock clarified, somehow thinking this would straighten out the misunderstanding Jim was having trouble comprehending.

“ _That’s_ the reason you were angry with me?” Jim asked incredulously.

“Not specifically because she escapes to you, but because you are not discouraging it.” Spock made clear. “I do not mean emotionally, but physically.”

“What…?” Jim’s eyebrows creased further, really not really getting the guy’s meaning.

“Jim.” Spock hesitated, then looked to come to a conclusion before sharing, “Your habit of continuously undermining my authority has extended to T’Val somewhat.”

“By letting her come visit me?” Jim asked slowly, raising a brow.

“By not reprimanding her when she visits you without informing me of her decision first, and even then I would be the one to ultimately make the final choice.”

“Oh.” Jim uttered, finally understanding.

“Jim, you are aware I allow T’Val the freedom she wishes as long as she is safe. However, when she leaves the apartment alone, without informing me, her legal guardian, there is an issue. We may think San Francisco to be a safe city, but the same cannot be said for a child on their own.”

“Yeah…” Jim said tentatively, the creeping feeling of guilt from earlier fanning into a full on fire. 

“You may recall that you yourself displayed concern the first time T’Val was late to meet me at our designated destination.”

“Oh my God, that feels like ages ago.” Jim groaned, touching his palm to his forehead. He remembered very clearly how on the edge he had been when Spock had approached him at the tram stop, asking about T’Val. He’d been so angry, so tense and restless not being able to do anything but wait for the girl, and he remembered how revealed he’d felt when she finally did show up. It was on the same day she’d manipulated him into teaching her about Human customs.

“Indeed.” Spock nodded. “Now imagine what I experience every time I find her to be missing from my residence when she should in fact be present.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, Spock,” Jim winced, throwing the guy an apologetic look. Fucking hell, he’d been such a jackass these past few weeks, more than he’d even realised. Jim got up from his knees, striding towards Spock with purpose. “I promise I’ll try harder to make sure T’Val checks in with you before coming to visit. Or just anything outside with me or Bones in general.”

“Words are inconsequential. I require physical evidence.” Spock replied evenly.

“When it happens, I _promise_ I’ll have her check in with you first. Or better yet, I’ll check in with you.” Jim said, meaning every single word.

Spock stared at Jim, his dark eyes revealing nothing. Jim could feel the heaviness in the air around them, the weight almost a physical feeling, but after a few seconds it relented somewhat. Spock nodded once. “Thank you.”

The tightness in the air dispersed, leaving traces of uncertainty in its wake. It wasn’t complete trust, but it was better than full on doubt.

“You may return to my memories.” Spock informed Jim, looking towards the cabinet drawer he’d left open. Jim glanced back, nodding slowly in agreement. He threw Spock one last look, hoping the guy would pick up on the fact that Jim really did plan on keeping to his promises, then walked back to where he’d left off. He didn’t feel like returning to memories associated with him, and so he slowly shut the drawer.

Taking a deep breath, Jim looked around, gaze crawling over all of the filing cabinets until he finally thought, fuck it, and started going through them at random.

Jim absolutely had the right to believe that what he experienced growing up was terrible and should never happen to anyone ever again in the history of forever, but that didn’t blind him to other beings’ pain. And man, did Spock have some pain. It wasn’t brazen like Jim’s, wasn’t founded on pure hatred, and antipathy, and a childhood of broken love.

No, Spock’s pain was there, but it was different. Whereas Jim’s pain was like electricity coursing through his body, Spock’s pain was like the frozen cold of the night seeping into his bones, clinging onto him from the inside.

The trip down memory lane started off easy with Jim getting impressions of Spock’s past. He saw how the guy felt growing up with a Human mother which led to the teasing he had to endure, teasing that escalated to ridicule about his heritage, about being too Human and Vulcan enough. He felt a period where Spock snapped and got into fistfights, the adrenaline he got from the act being immediately extinguished by his father’s disappointment.

Spock felt helpless over his weak control of his emotions, his half-Human side hindering him from achieving the ultimate discipline all the other Vulcans had. It was his Human side that had forced T’Pring, his former bondmate, to accept a link between them that was almost non-existent, sometimes so much so that Spock even forgot he had a bondmate. Jim felt the pang of anguish in Spock when T’Pring broke of their bond in order to bond with another Vulcan of her choice, Stonn. The name was burned into his memory, but it was the listlessness that overcame Spock following the breaking of the bond that he saw as his true enemy.

Jim felt how Spock finally steeled himself, putting effort into curbing his emotions and never letting them stray, felt how the guy reigned himself in from thrashing emotions to perfectly controlled ones. His rage and bursts of emotionalism were suddenly gone, but so were his bursts of happy feelings. His happiness, before so much more amplified, was now a whisper of what he used to feel. His mother no longer brought him the same amount of joy, nor did any scientific findings he found interesting. He wouldn’t allow himself to feel such ways.

When he cut down on his emotions, he also cut down on his delight, his joy, his high spirits. 

Jim decided to end his investigation on that. He’d not even managed to parse through Spock’s memories up until their current point, or even until the point he’d met Jim, but that was enough. The anguish Jim felt at experiencing Spock’s memories and thoughts was just too much for him. He looked to Spock with wet eyes, and saw the man nod in return before shutting his eyes. Jim followed by example, his own sliding shut. He slowly came out of the mind meld feeling as if he weren’t really in his own skin, feeling as if he had stood up too fast and his head was still trying to adjust to the rush. It was vastly different from when he had come out of their first mind meld.

Jim’s eyes opened up again, and he saw Spock’s dark gaze focused in on him. He briefly looked around, noticing that they were back in the kitchen. Nothing was out of place. Not at all. Everything was the same as they had left it when they engaged in the mind meld. Jim wasn’t even sure about the time, but he didn’t care about it. Not right now anyway.

He locked gazes with Spock, never wavering as he roughly murmured, “Thank you for showing me that.”

Spock nodded slowly, his eyes staying on Jim’s. “I understand your agitation now in regards to fully displaying your memories.”

“Yeah…” Jim sighed. “It’s not great.”

“Indeed.” Spock agreed solemnly.

The silence that fell over them was indescribable. Jim couldn’t tell if it was awkward, or easy, or just plain. His thoughts were still a bit muddled, bits of his mind left on the mind meld. Spock was just as unmoving and silent as Jim where they were sat at the table.

It was the utter quietude that had him thinking, had him believing more than anything that if he wanted to share anything, now was the time. If he wanted to reveal things about himself, of his own accord, this was the time to do so. Now.

“Spock, I.” Jim started, mouth dry. He swallowed, trying to get the words to work with him, but it was taking a great deal of effort. 

Spock tilted his head, gazing at Jim curiously.

“When I was fourteen, I…” He trailed off. There was a lump in his throat, holding back what he wanted to say, but Jim forced himself to push past it.

“Jim, you should not feel pressured to share your experiences.” Spock interrupted suddenly.

“No, Spock, I.” Jim felt ill. He was starting to sweat. His palms were getting clammy. He had to get through this. “I need to tell you—”

“Jim, it is not necessa—”

“I was on Tarsus IV.” 

There, he’d said it. Spock halted, his mouth open. Jim stared at him, the next few seconds feeling like eons as. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Everything around him was suddenly too loud, and there wasn’t even any sound. His palms were moist and he began to tremble slightly.

“Jim.” Spock uttered finally, his brown eyes meeting Jim’s own blue ones. His voice was soft. Gentle. Strangely so. “You do not need to share your woes. I would never wish for you to reveal something you did not want to relive.”

If Jim were a stronger man, he would have gone past Spock’s words, would have told Spock more and spilled out about his time on Tarsus. He would have told him all about the fungus that was deliberately injected into the colony’s food supply, about the famine, the soldiers who came and divided up the population, about the hunger, the pain, the paranoia at being found in the middle of the night and feeling as there wasn’t a single place on the planet that could be his sanctuary. 

If he were a stronger man, he would've. But instead he swallowed and nodded tightly. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I uploaded this late guys, had some irl errands to tend to and then I forgot I hadn't actually written half of the chapter so that took some time. Anyway, it's here now, and when I don't feel as tired I'll skim over it for mistakes, though feel free to inform me if you find any yourself :)


	25. Chapter 25

It wasn’t even past midday and Jim already wanted to crawl under his duvet and never leave. 

He’d met up with Winona at the shuttle station at 10:15, a never-ending feeling of uneasiness clinging to him as he awaited her arrival which had only increased when he finally saw her. She’d locked eyes with Jim, her blue eyes the ones he saw in the mirror every morning, and actually _smiled_. From that alone Jim knew today was going to test every ounce of his patience and ability to stay sober.

She’d come forward and hugged him, either completely unaware of his discomfort or not caring. It had been stiff, awkward, and a moment Jim wanted to break off before it had even started. He was frozen in her hold, unable to even put his hands back over her. If the hug was the worst thing that had happened to him he would have maybe survived the day without wishing her to disappear, but with Jim’s good luck that was just not the case.

Winona was only having a stopover for four hours before she had to take her next shuttle to Starfleet Headquarters before she would meet up with her crew for another mission, and so that gave them a full four hours to kill. In general, Jim thought four hours to be a long time. With Winona, they were endless. 

She’d immediately decided to take them into town, intending to browse the various shops and activities going on that day. She’d pulled Jim along the whole time, not noticing his rare silence as they walked into clothing shop after clothing shop. It was fucking hard to swallow that Winona was behaving this way, all happy-go-lucky and surely, _surely_ pretending that everything between them was fine. She had to be, or else she was delusional. There was no way she didn’t know that their past was horrible and Jim was struggling with being in her company without forcing himself to regulate his breathing.

It was painstaking how she’d flip through the racks of clothes, asking Jim’s opinion on them while he remained resolutely quiet. All he did was amble after her like some sort of reluctant shadow, the uneasiness in his stomach increasing when she brought him over to the men’s section and began commenting on what would look best on him. 

Like they were fine. 

Like everything between them was just fine.

It wasn’t _fine_. Jim felt super uncomfortable and anxious during the whole ordeal, standing by and not uttering a word as she cheerfully went on with her commentary of the menswear. He felt like a teenager all over again, awkwardness taking over his very being. He couldn’t comprehend Winona’s change in demeanour and how she was now acting like the mother she should have been all those years ago. It was as if she was trying to make up for all those years lost, the ones where Jim’s love for her shattered and turned into resentment. Now though, after over a decade since his hatred came out in full force, he just felt drained. Drained, and tired, and wanting to go home to his bed to sleep for a thousand years.

But instead he was stuck here.

“What about this one, Jimmy?” Winona asked, holding up a green and blue checkered shirt.

Jim pressed his teeth together, the pain a good distraction. _Jimmy_. God, he hated that. He swallowed and gave a curt nod, eyes flashing towards Winona. She was smiling at him, and he saw how it widened to show her teeth. 

“I’ll buy it for you then. So you have something to remember me by.” She teased, folding the shirt over her arm.

Shit like that. Shit exactly like that is what was making these whole four hours so goddamn difficult to deal with. He didn’t want anything from her. He didn’t want a reminder. He didn’t want absolutely anything from the woman who was supposed to love him unconditionally but instead left him on hell on Earth to explore space to her heart’s desire. 

Jim was so, so tired. 

He received a brief window of freedom when Winona saw there was a chocolatier at work at the mall’s sweet shop, and she excused herself to quickly go see if they had any Andorian chocolate in stock. Jim took the time to breathe deeply, collecting his strength and convincing himself that he was strong enough to last the full four hours. It didn’t feel as if he were in his own body, but hovering above somehow, just watching everything happening to him. It was bizarre and fucking with his head, but he had to push through this. He had to. He could do this. He could last until she left.

Jim felt his communicator suddenly vibrate in his pocket, and he jerked out of his little pep talk to himself. He reached into his pocket and fished out the unit, opening it up to see that he’d received a message from Spock.

_[From: Spock]  
At what time will your mother be departing?_

Jim looked up to where Winona was roaming around the sweet shop, occasionally leaning over the glass case and boxes put on display. Her short bob made her look much younger than she was, and the long coat she was wearing added a fair amount of regalness to her. He’d heard that Winona did always hold herself like an officer, able to change from an innocuous helper to someone who demanded respect with every step. But that’s only what he heard. Jim had never seen that part of Winona, and damn well not seen much of her in general growing up.

His hands clenched, and he realised the communicator was still in his hand. Curbing his rising displeasure Jim returned to Spock’s message and began typing out his own.

_[To: Spock]  
She said her shuttle leaves at 2_

Jim had barely slipped his comm back into his pocket when Winona called out, asking him to come over and try some chocolate. Usually Jim loved chocolate, but right now he couldn’t help but think there was nothing else in the world he would rather do than actually try any. Steeling himself for being in the presence of Winona once more, he took one last, deep breath and headed for the sweet shop.

*

By some goddamn miracle Jim had actually managed to endure the entire four hours with Winona, pushing his way through what felt like a constant stream of overly fake pleasantries, jokes, and attempts at making amends. He was not having that. It had been a damn near struggle, and he had been sure he was going to break several times and just leave without telling her, but he’d made it.

They were back at the shuttle station, this time in the area where only the local shuttles arrived and departed. Jim had thought he’d just give her a nod from a distance along with a quick ‘goodbye’ and then they could part ways, but Winona apparently had something else in mind. Again she came in for a hug, and Jim felt himself freeze up in response. It was Pavlovian in a way, any time she came too close his mind started panicking, blaring at him about defence and seeking out the quickest escape route. He felt her arms around his neck and the strands of her hair falling against his cheek, and grimaced. He hated this.

She pulled back a bit, and Jim saw how she leaned in again, about to place a kiss on his cheek. He’d instinctively jerked back, not fucking wanting that at all. Jim saw hurt flash behind those cerulean eyes, but that didn’t stop Winona’s faux smile from making a reappearance.

“It was good seeing you again, Jimmy.” She said.

“Yeah.” He croaked, averting his eyes.

He didn’t watch as she walked off, or listen out for the sound of her shoes thudding against the ground. He didn’t wave her goodbye, didn’t wish her a good trip, and certainly didn’t stay to watch her shuttle leave. No, as soon as she turned around he was gone. He was out. He was heading straight back home to drink himself into oblivion.

Luckily, this time around their liquor cabinet was well stocked.

*

Jim stepped out of the elevator and headed down the hallway towards his apartment, drink at the forefront of his mind, when he spotted two figures in the distance. As he neared he made them out to be two very familiar, very Vulcan beings. Any other time Jim would be glad to see them show up at his door, but the day’s previous activities made sure that he couldn’t bring himself to express any joy, genuine or otherwise at this time. Or for the unforeseeable future, for that matter.

“What do we have here?” He called, catching the attention of T’Val and Spock, though Jim was sure they’d heard him approach before he’d spoken. He came to a slow stop before his door and glanced between the two of them. “Didn’t realise we were meeting up today.”

“We had no such plans.” Spock told him plainly, turning to face Jim fully.

“Greetings, Jim.” T’Val interjected, offering him a small nod. “I hope you are well.”

Jim shrugged and pulled outs his key, inserting it into the lock. “I could be better.”

The door opened with a click, and he gestured for T’Val and Spock to enter first. They stepped inside, politely wiping their shoes on the welcome mat before removing them. Jim quickly followed suit, but not before he’d shut and locked the door behind them. Once they’d all deposited their shoes on the shoe rack and removed their coats, they walked further into the apartment until they emerged into the living room.

Jim whirled around to face the two Vulcans, taking them in. Yep, decked from top to toe in dark layers and twin looks of austerity directed at him. T’Val still had her backpack with her, which was odd. He thought she’d leave it at the door or by the couch like she usually did when visiting, but no, she was gripping onto its straps rather tightly. Jim decided to discard the though, thinking it to be insignificant, and placed his hands on his hips in an attempt to put on airs. But damn, he sure wasn’t feeling it.

“To what do I owe this honour?” Jim joked, but it fell flat. Still, it didn’t seem like either of them realised it was supposed to be a joke.

“We are here to offer you our wishes for a happy holiday before our departure.” T’Val said.

Right, their departure. 

Spock had booked last minute tickets to Vulcan, which he’d assured T’Val several times was just for a visit, even going so far as allowing her to check via mind meld. The main reason behind the visit was so that T’Val could meet her dad after so long apart, who apparently was also was going to be planetside for two weeks. Hopefully meeting the guy in person would make it easier for Spock to convince him that T’Val was doing well under his case, and perhaps, if they were really, really lucky, have her dad approve for T’Val to follow Spock onto the _Enterprise_. If they were _really_ lucky.

However, they would be staying with Spock’s own parents for the duration of their visit, something Jim knew the guy was delighted about. He seemed to have a close relationship with both of his parents, both out of love and respect, and Jim felt a pang of jealousy at that. Still, he was glad Spock got along so well with them, and he would definitely keep making fun of the guy for being such a momma’s boy, but only because his attempts at disclaiming them were so poor. T’Val had also wanted to pay her mother a visit, though Spock seemed slightly uncomfortable about that. Still, it wasn’t for him to say whether or not she could see her mum or not, and so they’d set aside a full day for just that.

But the visit wasn’t only for recreational and familial purposes, not at all; Spock had also revealed to Jim that he’d planned on visiting a Vulcan healer with T’Val who would help them establish the parental bond. Jim had thought that they’d be able to do it themselves since they were the only ones who were to be involved in the bond, but apparently both of them were inexperienced in creating bonds outside of their familial ones, which was why they needed a Vulcan healer. All of that stuff was pretty confusing to Jim, but he supposed this was what T’Val and Spock felt whenever they encountered something weird on Earth.

“When are you leaving exactly?” He asked, crossing his arms. His fingers were itching to get at a bottle and take a first sip, but he couldn’t do it in front of these guys. Well, he didn’t want to was more like it. Especially not T’Val.

“We will be departing on Tuesday at 09:50.” T’Val told him.

“Looking forward to it?”

“I must admit to having missed it somewhat.” She conceded slowly. Jim felt a tinge of warmth spread through him at her admittance, but since he was currently deeply broken on the inside it didn’t show on his face. He was still feeling restless from spending all that time with Winona, and even though he did feel slightly bad about it, he wanted to end this quickly. He wanted to get his hands on some good mind bleach, more commonly known as alcohol.

“We have also brought you a gift.” Spock added.

Jim’s eyebrows jumped. Huh. Well… he certainly wasn’t expecting that.

“You did? That’s so kind of you.” He murmured. “What is it?”

Spock glanced down at T’Val, who then removed her backpack and opened it up, rifling through it for just a moment before pulling out a thin, rectangular-shaped package. 

She turned to Jim and held it out to him. “Happy holidays.”

Jim hunched over and took it from her with a quirk of the lips, the most he could muster up right now. He really was thankful for this gift, and very surprised at having received it, but he didn’t have anything to give in return. 

“Thank you, T’Val.” Jim thanked, eyes flashing over to Spock. “And Spock, too, I’m presuming.”

“It is T’Val’s gift to you.” Spock corrected him.

“Well, thank you just T’Val, then.” Jim amended, giving smiling another go, but this one dropped just as quickly as it had come on. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t realise Vulcans celebrated Christmas.”

“It is quite alright.” Spock assured. “We do not in reality celebrate Christmas on Vulcan or my family, but here on Earth we have made an exception for our Human friends.” 

“That’s sweet of you guys.” Jim said, then suddenly frowned. “Wait, what do you mean ‘not in your family’?”

“My mother is Jewish, and Christmas is not a holiday we celebrate.” Spock clarified. Jim’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“No way! You’re Jewish?”

“That is what I have just told you.” 

“Yeah, I suppose you did… Wow. Does that mean you celebrate Channukah instead?” Jim inquired.

“Indeed.” Spock affirmed.

“Well… Happy Channukah then.” Jim told him. 

Man, the guy was just full of surprises. Jim really hadn’t thought Vulcans were religious at all, yet here Spock was, again defying his perception of the race. Incredible. Jim wondered if Spock practiced his religion or was just influenced by his mum, though he wasn’t really sure if that was how Judaism worked. Jim should really read up on it, especially since his knowledge of Judaism only consisted of what he’d learnt in school and titbits from certain classmates. There wasn’t a large Jewish population in Riverside when he was growing up, and he had no idea what other holidays fell under Judaism. He only knew of Channukah, and that showed his very poor, poor understanding of the religion. Jim made a note in the back of his mind to properly read up on it.

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock returned, inclining his head slightly.

Jim looked down at the gift in his hands and turned it over. The wrapping paper was red, very common for the season, and the sash tied around it was gold. It looked very nice, though it felt light in his hand. If Jim had to guess he’d say it was a physical book of sorts, but he was pretty sure he’d not told either T’Val or Spock that he enjoyed reading them from time to time.

Usually when Christmas time came around, it’d be just him and Bones exchanging gifts, and by gifts Jim meant alcohol. Sometimes it’d be a bottle of some sort, other times it was an outing to the pub where they’d pay for each other’s drinks. Sure, buying each other an endless amount of liver damage wasn’t normally considered a good gift, but it wasn’t about the drinks. It was about the company, and the alcohol just added a little zest to it. Like a little ‘treat yourself’ for the both of them.

Before that… well, Jim couldn’t remember getting Christmas gifts for a long time. A large chunk of his childhood was bereft of that tradition that the majority of Earth engaged in. It wasn’t something Frank did, and his mom certainly hadn’t sent them anything from where she was lightyears away. The thought had never bothered Jim before, but now he realised it was fucking depressing. Sure, he knew material goods weren’t the most important thing in the world, but the act of giving was something really nice. It was pure, and unselfish. It was basically someone you cared about putting thought into what they would give you, taking the time to ponder over what would make you happy to receive, and then working hard at giving you just that. 

Jim hadn’t had that in a long, long time before he met Bones, and the direction of his thoughts brought him back to Winona once more. Fucking Winona. She just wouldn’t seem to leave his mind. He couldn’t push her out without help, he needed something to erase her entire visit. Jim felt the familiar feeling of anxiety clawing at his throat, and in an attempt to tamp down on it he cleared his throat and turned the gift around in his hands.

“Can I open it now?” He asked T’Val.

T’Val ducked her head in reply, not offering an answer.

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed. “You alright?”

T’Val gave a curt nod, eyes focused on somewhere in front of her. Jim tilted his head to the side, taking in her stance. She looked as she always did, stood straight and with her hands at her side, but he got the feeling that she was being more subdued than usual. She tended to be more talkative than this, albeit in a controlled manner.

“Are you okay?” Jim repeated, concern lacing his tone. “You seem a bit more… not-curious than usual.” He finished lamely, not sure of how to properly describe her behaviour.

T’Val’s fingers fidgeted and she chanced a glance at Jim before returning her gaze to the floor. Jim saw her small hands briefly curl into her side before making their way behind her back.

“You are distressed.” She revealed tentatively.

Jim’s eyebrows rose in shock. How the hell had she known that? He didn’t look any worse for wear than he usually did; no dishevelled hair or rumpled clothes or anything out of order that could give away how he was feeling. He was also pretty sure Spock hadn’t told her anything about his mother outside of the fact that she was visiting.

“I’m…” Jim began, forehead creasing.

“You are projecting your anguish loudly, and I am picking up on it. The more you attempt to bury it in our presence, the more it tries to clamber for your attention.” T’Val said softly, peering up at Jim for just a moment.

Jim’s eyes widened and he looked to Spock. “Seriously?”

“T’Val has not yet learned how to properly develop her mental shields, and so she picks up on strong emotions of familiar beings from around her.” Spock explained, looking unruffled. 

Jim didn’t understand it. How was it that Spock then was looking completely fine when T’Val was apparently sensing how shit Jim was feeling? 

“What about you?” Jim asked.

“My shields are stronger than T’Val and I have experience keeping them in place. I myself do not pick up on what you are feeling.”

Jim swallowed around the growing clump in his throat, nodding slowly. His anxiety was mixing in with an increasing sense of guilt. Shit. He didn’t know why he was feeling bad about this, it’s not like he could control his emotions or anything. It’s just… man, he was getting real tired of letting T’Val down.

“I’m sorry, T’Val. I’ve just had a rough day.” He rasped, voice tired. 

“It is quite alright. I have no right in judging you for experiencing emotions.” She returned gently.

“Yeah…” Jim murmured, not feeling better after her words.

“I believe it is best if we depart now.” Spock announced, catching Jim’s attention. “It is clear you need your rest.”

“But the gift…”

“You may open it whenever you wish. It is not necessary for us to be present for it.”

Jim felt like he should argue that point, but his body and mouth didn’t do much to dissuade the words.

“I concur.” T’Val spoke up. “It is best we leave you to your own devices, and I wish you a good recovery.” She then raised her tiny hand in the _ta’al_. “Live long and prosper.”

Jim lifted up his free hand and returned the gesture with a weak smile. “Peace and long life.”

He watched as T’Val and Spock headed out of the living room towards the front door, leaving him on his own. He looked down at the gift in his hands, and gently smoothed his fingers over the paper. It felt bendy, so surely it must be a book of some sort. A paperback, maybe? He began pulling at the golden sash, about to unravel it and figure out what the gift was, but he just wasn’t feeling it.

Jim sighed deeply, then placed the gift on the kitchen counter. He padded off to join Spock and T’Val by the apartment’s entrance, and patiently waited as they put on their outerwear, the many layers they needed to wrap around themselves taking some considerable time to get on. T’Val was pulling on her little dark blue rain boots, and the sight had Jim feeling a little lighter somehow. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was just the image of T’Val bundled up all warm with that severe look on her face, looking for all the world like she was going to war with the temperamental San Francisco weather outside. Yeah, it was definitely that. She still wouldn’t look up at him, staying close to the front door as Spock finished wrapping his scarf, and that had Jim worried.

He leaned into Spock’s space and quietly whispered, “Hey Spock. Is her recent emotionalism the reason why she can pick up on my feelings?”

“Somewhat.” Spock replied, tucking his scarf inside his jacket.

Jim leaned back, eyes falling back down to T’Val. She was facing the front door, backpack already strapped on and just waiting for Spock to be done. Jim thought that if Vulcans didn’t keep tight control of their mental shields and emotions, maybe somewhere in the future they’d evolve to closely resemble Betazeds to some extent. T’Val was already showing that she could pick up on emotions around people she was familiar with, which was amazing in itself considering Vulcans were touch telepaths. But maybe that was due to the fact that she was half-Human. Or wait, did that mean she’d be less likely to develop telepathic abilities then? But she was more sensitive towards emotions, and Jim would wager that that definitely was more of a Human trait than a Vulcan one. But maybe he was wrong? God, there were so many hypotheticals, Jim had no idea if any of his thoughts made sense or if there even was a point to them.

“Goodbye, Jim.” 

Spock’s voice brought Jim out of his messy mind, and his eyes locked on Spock’s brown ones.

“Yeah, bye.” He uttered automatically, the words stilted. 

Thankfully Spock didn’t bring attention to his blunder, only turning to open the door himself. Together he and T’Val stepped out into the building’s hallway, and Jim didn’t even take the time watch them amble off before he’d shut the door after them. He felt like a bit of a dick, but he was glad they were finally gone. He was sure they wouldn’t blame him for feeling this way— at least Spock wouldn’t— and so he didn’t feel that bad about his behaviour. 

Now had come the time for him to enjoy some alone time with a bottle of Jack, or some Andorian beer, or whatever was the first thing his hands fell on when he blindly reached into the liquor cabinet. All he knew was that the bottle would be his best friend for the rest of the day, helping him recover from Winona’s abysmal visit. 

Well, it’d be his best friend until Bones got back.


	26. Chapter 26

“I have completed my research on the studies of Human-Vulcan hybrids in the Vulcan archives.”

Well, that was certainly an opener, thought Jim.

“What’d you find?” He asked, rising from his slouched position on the couch. Bones looked up from his PADD and shot Jim a questioning brow, one which Jim returned with a quick thumbs up. He then ambled off to the confines of his room, leaving Bones to enjoy whatever he was watching in peace.

“There is too much data for me to reiterate in a short and concise manner, however, I will say this; I believe I play a large part in T’Val’s recent behaviour.” Spock shared.

Jim barely managed to hold back the ‘no shit’ on the tip of his tongue, though it was really dying to come out. Of course Spock was responsible for T’Val’s actions to some extent; the guy was leaving and she was reacting negatively to that. Jim perched himself on the edge of his bed, scooting back until he hit the wall with his feet just about dangling off the side.

“How do you figure?” He asked.

“T’Val’s emotional outbursts have been entirely negative, and it is due to the fact that our mind melds focus entirely on understanding positive emotions. Because of this approach and exclusion of any other type of emotions, she has no grasp of how to properly handle the negative ones when they do occur.”

“So like, she’s increasing her emotional sensitivity, but only positively?” Jim’s forehead creased as he began to understand what Spock was getting at. If she had no training handling certain feelings, and as a being who closely followed the idea of keeping a close hold of them, then it would be damn near impossible for her to not lash out in some form or another. It made sense.

“Exactly.” Spock affirmed. “She does not know what to do with herself when confronted with her own feelings of negativity. I had inquired whether she would be willing to frequent a Vulcan healer in regards to her sudden sentimentalism, but she rejected the suggestion.”

“Is that bad?”

“If her manner of conducting her emotions continues on in this fashion it will become problematic. During our sessions so far she has displayed commendable control of her feelings, however I believe this will change once she is challenged with negativity, and will be unable to exert as much focus when attempting to contain them.”

“Shit.” Jim muttered, biting his bottom lip. “How much information did you get from the Vulcan archives?”

“All of it.” Spock answered plainly.

Jim huffed out a laugh, a small smile making its way onto his face. “Which is…?”

“There are currently twenty-three documented cases of successful Human-Vulcan hybrids.”

That certainly didn’t fill Jim with any sense of calm. Successful. What the fuck did that… he ran a hand through his hair, knowing damn well what that meant. He forced himself to push aside those thoughts centred around the ‘successful’ bit for now, reminding himself to bring it up again at a later time when they could sit together and talk at length. 

A sudden idea occurred to Jim, and he paused in his conversation with Spock. It wasn’t a bad idea, and it wasn’t concrete in any form or manner, but it could be a start.

“Spock, how much do you trust Bones with T’Val?” He asked carefully.

A few seconds passed before Spock replied, “He has given me no reason to doubt his protective nature towards her.”

“Listen; I’m going to need you to hear me out before you say ‘no’.” Jim sat up straighter in preparation, then jumped into his reasoning. “So, as you know Bones is studying Xenobiological Medicines at Starfleet to become a doctor. He’s got a bunch of other already proficient doctors to help the students learn, and they’ve all got experience from difference planets and species. I vaguely remember Bones mentioning this one visiting doctor who apparently used to work on Vulcan, and I’m thinking that maybe they can help.”

Jim recalled having been really surprised when Bones shared that titbit of information, mainly because he hadn’t known that internships on Vulcan were open to outsiders. He’d just always assumed that all of them went to the planet’s population, and he was sure they had no shortage of bright-minded, insanely smart applicants. Bones had explained that apparently it had been the right time and right place for the doctor when they applies, since Vulcans were expanding certain scientific projects to Earth and they needed to educate Human doctors who would be available for their expatriates. It had been a really interesting conversation and Jim kind of wished Spock had been there so that they could get into intelligent yelling matches with each other backed up with references.

“Unfortunately there aren’t any Vulcan healers on Earth, but maybe by making use of the limited help here on Earth we can help T’Val until we get more appropriate help.” Jim added on.

“I must admit, I had already entertained the thought of asking Leonard for his help in T’Val’s case. As you know, she is extremely comfortable in his presence.” Spock revealed.

“That’s Bones, alright. Hard as nails on the outside, softie on the inside.” Jim’s lips quirked up in a smirk.

“I had concerns over his lack of knowledge in regards to Vulcan biology, however, if this acquaintance of his has experience then perhaps they would be the preferable option.” Spock mused. “In that case, I would still wish for Leonard to be a part of the procedures as I know he can be entrusted with T’Val’s care.”

“Awesome. So you want me to tell Bones we’ll need his help?” Jim proposed right away. He wasn’t actually sure how it’d go over when he asked for Bones’ help, but he knew that in the end the guy would help. There’d probably be some griping at first, but once he found out the request was in connection to T’Val he’d buckle up and offer his assistance.

“Please. Also inform him that I will translate the studies from the Vulcan archives into Standard for ease of reading, and if you would provide me with his contact information I will forward them to him.”

“Sure thing. Also… do you think T’Val will mind she’s part of the studies?” Jim asked hesitantly. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable with the situation… or well, _too_ uncomfortable. 

“All studies are anonymous in order to protect the participant’s identity, however there may be hints to show who it is if you know the person.” Spock stated, assuaging Jim’s worries somewhat.

“That’s good, then. I wouldn’t want her to think that we know everything about her when going behind her back.” Although in a way they had done that. Jim felt that familiar wave of regret bat at him, and he had to reassure himself that what they were doing was in T’Val’s best interest. She was after all, just an eight year old kid, no matter how many times Jim forgot that. She’d need some guidance when confronting her mental weakness, and even though she may be reluctant to try it, she needed help when it came to handling her emotions.

“Your concern is noted and appreciated, Jim.” Spock told him. “I will begin to translate the studies now.”

“Sure thing.” Jim nodded. “Good luck with that.”

“Thank you. Goodbye, Jim.”

“Goodbye, Spock.” And with that Jim hung up the comm. 

He took a moment to contemplate what they’d just decided and whether it was justified or not, though he was constantly changing his mind on it. In essence he wanted to help T’Val, but he was sometimes dubious of the methods they used to obtain the information needed to do so, and he felt especially bad about not telling her about what they were doing. He really hoped they’d clue her in on this soon or she’d get really upset with them, and that was the furthest thing from what Jim wanted.

He slid off his bed and padded over to his door, opening it up to check in on Bones in the living room. No one was there, and a glance towards the front door showed that his shoes and coat were missing. Jim slid open his PADD and went into messages, getting started on a message for Bones.

_[To: Bones]  
Just a heads up that soon Spock will be bombarding you with studies on vulcan-human hybrids (translated so be appreciative)_

_[From: Bones]  
You keep me out of your kinky intellectual sex games._

_[To: Bones]  
Oh my God you’re such a dick_

_[To: Bones]  
Read up on what he sends you we’d like you to work with T’Val about controlling her emotions_

_[From: Bones]  
Well aren’t you on your way to earning the parent of the year award_

Jim pocketed his comm with a huff, rolling his eyes at Bones’ message. Secretly though, he was proud.

*

Fucking finally. Done. He was _done_. All those days and nights of intensive revision finally paid off, and he’d completed his very last exam. No more work until May, which, right now, felt like a lifetime away.

Jim sat patiently in his seat, gaze languidly dragging over the remaining students as they rushed to type out the last bit of their essays before the time was up. Since he’d finished his own essay ten minutes prior to the time limit, he’d missed out on the fifteen minute slot and was forced to be held in the room until time ran out. Usually he’d be tapping his foot with irritation in a situation like this, but now he just allowed tranquillity to take over him. No more exams. Done. Fucking done.

“Time’s up!” The examiner called out, and a few groans of displeasure erupted in the room. 

Right away Jim began gathering his belongings, wanting to get out before the rush. Most of the students in the room had stayed to finish their essays, so they were heading for the front of the room to hand in their PADDs. Jim, however, walked straight towards the back, zipping up his jacket and slinging his bag over his shoulder before striding towards the exit. He’d just barely made it through the door when a voice called out to him.

“Jim!”

Jim halted in his steps and looked towards the source, and his face split into a grin when he saw who it was.

“Pike!”

The man returned the exclamation with a smile, the crows’ feet at the side of his eyes stretching out to give him a matured look. Pike had always managed to tread that line between intimidatingly authoritative and assuring leader, and Jim was certain it had to do with his eyes and general presence. 

“How’re you doing?” Jim asked, already reaching for the man’s hand as he came to a stop before him. “I’ve not seen you in ages.”

“Not doing too bad.” Pike chortled, returning the handshake with a firm grip. “It really has been quite a while.”

“Heard you had some important business to take care of.” Jim opened, standing to the side so that he didn’t block the path of the oncoming students. Apparently the last of them had gathered their stuff and they were all streaming out into the corridor now, chatter starting up between them as they discussed the exam.

“That’s right. Great stuff.” Pike smiled. “Kind of why I came to talk to you, actually.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Here’s probably not a great place to discuss it.” Pike said, gaze travelling around the students until they fell back on Jim. “How about we go grab something to eat? My treat.”

Jim didn’t even have to think twice as he gladly fell into step with the man.

*

_[To: Spock]  
Could we vidcall please?_

Jim had been restless since his meet up with Pike ended not even two minutes ago. He had felt the itch of it beneath his skin, had felt the need and want to speak to someone, to run, jump, spar, just _something_ to get rid of the sudden energy encompassing him. There had been no immediate reply from Spock, and Jim reckoned the guy was busy on Vulcan, possibly with family or something else. Didn’t matter. Or, it kind of did, but only because Jim had wanted to talk to him. The crappy thing was that Bones was in class until seven in the evening which meant that Jim hadn’t been able to call him either. 

He’d been overcome with frustration and ran both his hands through his hair, ruffling it up fantastically. He struggled to piece together his thoughts, putting them into some sort of order, before eventually giving. Instead he’d decided that he just needed to get rid of this energy somehow and keep himself occupied until either Spock or Bones were free. 

He’d headed to the gym for a thorough workout session, thinking it would be the perfect distraction since it was a physical act that required tight focus. He’d planned on staying there for a few hours, but after the first he realised that he shockingly wasn’t as fit as he’d thought. It actually made sense considering he hadn’t been to the gym in months, but he was a bit offended since he’d still tried to do some exercises at home when he had the time. This just brought to light how toneless he was, and Jim promised to make use of the winter holiday to whip himself into shape. He was going to work on getting some of his muscle back, which shit, probably meant more changes to his diet. 

He’d managed to get in another half hour of working out before he cut his session short, his body protesting any more strenuous movement. Jim had grabbed his towel and thoroughly wiped away his swear before hobbling towards the changing rooms. He could feel some pain in his upper thighs, and predicted it could only get worse when he woke up tomorrow. That was so not something he was looking forward to. 

Jim deposited his used towel in the laundry bin just inside the changing rooms, then headed straight for his locker and opened it up. He stripped off his top, not even bothering to fold it before tossing it inside, and it was shortly followed by his shorts, underwear, trainers and socks. Jim was fully intending to grab his own fresh towel and head for the shower for a good rinse, but his eyes caught on the communicator hidden in the back of the locker. He dithered briefly, then decided to give it a quick check to see if he’d received a reply from either Spock or Bones. It was a good thing he’d done so, because displayed clearly on the screen was an unopened message.

_[From: Spock]  
Are you currently free to converse?_

It had been sent fourteen minutes ago, and Jim immediately swiped open his PADD to vidcall the guy, praying he was still free. He gingerly went and sat down on the one, long bench in the room, the smooth metal sticking to the sweat on his ass. Jim grimaced at the feeling, re-arranging himself until he felt as comfortable as he could sitting butt-naked on sleek metal. Suddenly Spock’s face appeared on the comm, and Jim saw the guy’s cheeks go from pale, to emerald green.

“Jim,” He started sternly. “Please put on a shirt.”

“What, you don’t like this? I think I look rather good.” Jim teased, holding the comm slightly over and angling the camera down so that it captured his entire upper body. He'd still been feeling kind of crummy about not being as fit as he used to, but that was quickly rectified when Spock’s blush intensified when confronted with his pecs.

“Jim.” Spock chided. 

“You’re so damn cute, you know that?” Jim chuckled, bringing the camera back down so that only his face was in frame.

“You appear to be in a good mood.” Spock commented, ignoring his words. There was still a clear tinge to his cheeks, and only now did Jim notice that it extended to his ears.

“I feel pretty awesome, Spock.” Jim admitted, feeling his giddiness rising again.

“I had thought from your message that you were perhaps distressed.”

Right, his message.

Jim sat up straighter and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I… Spock, I spoke with Pike today.”

“How is he?”

“Pretty well. He um, we actually grabbed something to eat together down at the library café, and he…” Jim trailed off, but his voice was gleeful when he announced, “Spock, he offered me the position of captain of the _Enterprise_.” 

He watched as Spock’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and his mouth fell slightly open. What a reaction, Jim thought to himself with a grin. The guy appeared completely dumbfounded, his mouth opening and closing several times until he finally managed to reign himself in.

“Jim. I offer you my sincerest congratulations.” Spock uttered slowly.

“Thanks.” Jim laughed. “Honestly, I still can’t quite believe it. It’s… I mean Spock, it’s the _Enterprise_. The flagship of Starfleet.”

“Indeed it is a great honour to serve aboard her. I also must admit I am finding myself more pleased by the aspect that we will be on the same starship.” He shared. “Unless, you plan on declining the offer.” 

“Hell no! This is a dream come true for me. Outer space, the final frontier. It’s going to be fucking awesome.” That energy from earlier was returning to him. Jim could feel it rushing through his veins, causing goosebumps to erupt over his skin. God, it was going to be great!

“I am glad you hold such enthusiasm.” Spock said, but there was a hint of sadness in his tone. “However…”

“However?” Jim prompted, lifting a brow.

“I find myself slightly disappointed at this turn of events.” Jim’s eyebrows jumped at that admission. He felt a brief flash of indignation, but it was quickly extinguished when Spock explained, “I had planned on asking you whether you were able to take T’Val under your care during my absence.”

“Yeah, I kind of reckoned you might…” Jim revealed, remembering his previous worries when Spock had told him he’d been offered the position of science officer. Not only did Jim winding up on the same starship as him mean that he couldn’t care for T’Val, but also… “So T’Val’s dad said no to taking her on the _Enterprise_ , then?”

“He was not pleased with my suggestion.” Spock revealed.

So that was a definite yes then. Jim couldn’t stop himself from emitting the deep sigh that overcame him, though really there was no point in even trying to hide it since he was sure his reaction showed on his face.

“I…” Spock began carefully, and Jim heard the hesitation in the guy’s voice. “Due to my impending departure in a years’ time I deem it illogical to establish and develop a parental bond with T’Val at this time, as I do not unquestionably know what her reaction will be once I am no longer on Earth. Your words regarding those who she has known closely abandoning her resonate with me, Jim. I do not have the strength to cause her further pain.”

“Won’t T’Val get suspicious if you put it off for long though?” He inquired quietly, keeping his voice gentle.

“If prior to our return we do not visit a Vulcan healer to aid us with the formation of our parental bond, T’Val will most definitely question the decision.”

Jim worried his bottom lip between his teeth, mulling over what Spock could do in this situation. It was damn difficult. The guy clearly loved T’Val, so much so that he didn’t even want to entertain the thought of hurting her. In fact, he was considering throwing away the possibility of a parental bond between them just so she wouldn’t be upset when he did eventually leave. On the other hand though, if he didn’t go through with it, and if he supported his reason with logical arguments, it might send an inadvertent message to T’Val about how he felt about her. She may have been raised in a culture devoted to sensible thinking, but emotionalism had a way of taking over rationality in ways no one could predict.

Jim let out a sigh. This was a bitch of a situation, and he really had no idea how it could be solved. Hell, he didn’t even know if it could be solved. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a moment to gather himself. Right. There was no use spending time debating ‘what-ifs’ and all alike. Right now wasn’t the time for any floundering or pussyfooting, but for being direct and to the point. 

Jim caught Spock’s gaze through the screen and asked, “What do you want, Spock?”

There was a thoughtful silence from Spock’s end, the sound of it loud to Jim’s ears. He hadn’t been paying any attention to the locker rooms before, but now when faced with this quietude he realised how empty it was. He kind of felt the need to make some sort of noise, even just tapping his fingers against the metal bench, but refrained. Jim waited for Spock to ruminate his answer, and after a few moments the guy broke the lull.

“I wish to establish a parental bond with T’Val.”

“Then that’s your answer.” Jim told him calmly.

Spock nodded slowly, no change to his expression. Another few seconds of quiet passed between them, then Spock announced, “We must speak with T’Val.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry guys! I read through the remaining chapters of this fic and realised that in order to finish it without rushing through it, I need to extend it from 29 chapters to 31. I tried condensing some chapters but it just felt too cramped. I’m so sorry about this, but I hope you’ll still stay with me until the end which will now change from mid-February to late February.


	27. Chapter 27

Jim was lounging in bed watching a holovid on his PADD when he received a message from Spock asking if he was free to meet the next day. He and T’Val were set to arrive back on Earth later tonight, and even though Spock claimed that Vulcans needed considerably less shuteye than Humans, Jim was sure the two of them were probably going to sleep off their jetlag. He’d immediately typed out his confirmation, eagerness setting into him at the prospect of getting to Spock and T’Val again. The winter holidays had recently started, and would last for another three weeks before it was time to begin the second semester. Six days had already passed of those weeks, and all Jim had done was wait at the edge of his seat and relentlessly checking his university e-mail for a notification regarding his results. 

Well, that’s not all he’d done. Christmas had been quite a smash night if he could say so himself. He’d spent it with Bones, per tradition, and the guy had somehow procured a bottle of Romulan ale from somewhere Jim didn’t want to know since it was most definitely illegal. Bones had beamed at him while holding the bottle up like a great prize, pride radiating off of him like crazy. That, Jim decided, had been the perfect moment for him to break out his own bottle of alcohol he’d kept stashed in the bottom drawer of his desk, and successfully wipe the smug look of his friend’s face. Bones had turned slack-jawed, staring at the bottle for a full minute straight before bursting into laughter, his body shaking from the force of it.

“I can’t believe you also bought a bottle of Romulan ale.” He got out between sniggers.

“Can’t deny we’ve got good taste.” Jim grinned, already heading for the kitchen.

“As well as illegal methods.” Bones huffed, trailing after him.

Jim had grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and topped them off with the ale, Bones immediately picking up his once it was full. They’d knocked their glasses together and hollered ‘Merry Christmas!’ before sipping their beverages, both of them breaking into twin grimaces at the taste. It was so, so strong, but fuck if it wasn’t the tastiest shit Jim had had in years.

They’d spent the rest of the day sat in the living room languidly chatting as they drank their Christmas gifts. Somewhere along the line of arguing about cleaning the kitchen and thanking heaven that Gary was home for the holidays, Jim had whipped out the gift he’d received from Spock and T’Val, all at Bones’ nosey insistence, of course. It was a thin graphic novel regarding Vulcan culture and the planet itself, and together he and Bones began sifting through its pages. When Jim had first opened the gift he’d been surprised to find out that such a thing even existed, but the more he read from it the more he was glad that it did. 

His curiosity had quickly taken a hold of him, and he’d decided to look up the author while Bones pretended like he wasn’t riveted with the book. Jim had found that the graphic novel actually belonged to a series which included many other planets in their star system, as well as some beyond that. It was called ‘ _The Xenophobe’s Guide_ ’, and was written by a group of Human professors who worked with representatives from the planets which each individual book described the culture of. The professors were quoted as saying that they wanted to educate Humans about the different cultures in the galaxy, and chose to use graphic novels as a medium since they found visual aid to captivate most audiences. They’d only produced twenty-three books so far, but they were highly rated, and included ones such as ‘ _The Xenophobe’s Guide to Betazed_ ’ and ‘The Xenophobe’s Guide to Trill’. 

Jim had pondered about the choice of name for the series, but the further he and Bones read into his graphic novel, the more it made sense to him. The writing was informative, sure, but it was written in a dry, witty way; entirely sarcastic and causing him to giggle out loud on several occasions. Even Bones wasn’t immune to the language used, muttering compliments whenever he read a rather scathing remark. The book was really fucking brilliant actually, and Jim had been drunk enough to order three more of them online, with Bones chiming in that he wanted the one on Orions too.

Jim had been mid-way through checking out his cart when his communicator vibrated, and when he picked it up he’d seen it was a message from Uhura wishing him a merry Christmas. Jim had struggled to get his thumbs to cooperate with him as he typed out a similar greeting, attaching a picture of him and Bones sipping their ales with the message. 

Speaking of Uhura, the woman had been a goddamn lifesaver. Not soon after the exams had concluded she’d sent Jim a list of apartment her grandmother had found were about to be advertised, and informed him that he should specify to the landlords that they had been recommended by the company her grandmother had previously worked for. Jim had instantly forwarded the message to Bones, and together they’d re-visited their list of criteria in apartments they were looking for. Jim had sent out several e-mails to the landlords, and they’d already received a few positive replies inviting them round to view the apartment. Now all he and Bones had to do was figure out a day where they were both free to spend it checking out all of the possible places.

It had been the latest of a string of good news for Jim, the previous being that he’d successfully gone through a mind meld with Spock, and also been offered the position of captain aboard the _Enterprise_. The goddamn _Enterprise_. No matter how many times Jim repeated it to himself, he couldn’t quite believe it. His brain hadn’t really caught up with the fact that in a years’ time he’d be heading out into space, into the depth of the galaxy and further to explore the unknown. He was so fucking excited at the prospect of it, but it was so far away it still hadn’t really sunk in that this was a reality. 

Things were certainly looking up as of late, and Jim just hoped that it stayed that way for a little while longer.

*

Spock’s place was so silent Jim could have heard his own breathing if it weren’t drowned out by the sound of him removing his shoes and coat. The guy himself had already gone ahead into the living room, and when Jim emerged a few moments after he saw that T’Val was already present. She and Spock were both sat and waiting for him, T’Val on the couch and Spock on one of the chairs he’d dragged in from the kitchen. There was an empty one next to him, definitely set out for Jim, and he quietly approached it.

Christ, this looked too much like an interrogation. Did Spock seriously not think this through when he arranged the seating? Jim wasn’t even the one who was on the receiving end of this talk and he felt nervous. The atmosphere was hushed and damn tense, indicating one of two things: either T’Val had already been told by Spock what they wanted to talk to her about, or she had sensed the seriousness of the matter and was expecting the worse.

God, this situation was uncomfortable. A part of Jim wished he could bail right now, but a bigger part of him wanted to be included in the discussion, which was what he needed to do. He had to be here, for T’Val, for himself, and even Spock. Jim wasn’t sure how experienced the guy was with breaking bad news to someone, but it was important he had backup in case he needed help. 

Jim slid into his seat, noticing that neither T’Val nor Spock looked at him when he did so. For two Vulcans who claimed they had little to no emotions they sure did ‘tense silences’ exceptionally.

“Hey, Little Vulcan Lady,” Jim greeted with a smile, taking his place next to Spock.

“Hello, Jim.” T’Val greeted, though it didn’t sound very warm. Jim wouldn’t have been able to pick up on it as easily as he would have on a Human, but he was familiar enough with T’Val’s habits to notice the restrictive way she was currently holding herself in.

He glanced at Spock, and saw that the guy was already looking at him with a raised brow. Honestly, Jim didn’t know if the guy was insinuating something with that, and if he was, Jim hadn’t been debriefed on it earlier. He did remember Spock’s comments about Jim going over his words sometime, and so he deemed it best not to act right now. Instead he remained quiet and allowed Spock to lead the way.

After a stretch of silence Spock looked to T’Val. “You are most likely wondering as to why we are all gathered.”

T’Val gave a stiff nod.

“There have been certain developments in our lives of which we wish to inform you.”

At those words T’Val seemed to sink further into the couch, her forehead creasing. A sharp pang of pain shot through Jim’s chest at the sight, and he instantly tried his best to restrict his feelings. T’Val was apparently susceptible to picking up on strong emotions from him, and he didn’t want to alarm her when there wasn’t a cause for it. 

“Whilst you and I were on Vulcan, Jim was approached by a mutual friend of ours, captain Christopher Pike, a former captain and lecturer at Starfleet who is currently engaged in a project regarding the _U.S.S. Enterprise_.” Spock then came to a sudden stop, and when Jim peeked at him from the corner of his eyes he saw that the guy was frowning lightly. When after another few seconds Spock remained quiet, Jim understood that he’d gotten stuck in his explanation. 

“Yeah, he um,” Jim awkwardly inserted himself into the conversation, giving T’Val his full, nervous attention. “He offered me the position of captain aboard the _Enterprise_.”

“You have accepted.” T’Val stated, but Jim felt as if she were accusing him of committing a crime.

He shook his head. “Not yet.”

“But you intend to.”

There was a tense moment before Jim answered. “Yeah.”

T’Val carefully brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them close. It was such a fucking Human gesture that Jim felt his heart shaking.

“I do not wish for you to leave me.” She murmured.

Never mind his heart shaking, it was fucking shattered. Jim felt a surge of helplessness rise in him, his palms growing clammy all of a sudden. He wiped them down the side of his jeans, trying to calm himself enough to answer her. Hell, he didn’t even know how he could answer her.

It was therefore a surprise when Spock was the one to jump in and assure her. “We are not leaving you, T’Val.”

“You are lying.” She rebutted brazenly.

Spock stilled at the words, and after a moment gave a small nod. “Yes. I apologise.”

A stale silence fell over them, filling the living room to the very brim.

“May I leave this discussion?” T’Val asked in a quiet voice.

“There are further developments we must inform you of.” There was a brief pause following the statement, then Spock said, “Jim and I have noted that as of late you are experiencing strong changes in reference to your emotional attitude, and we wish to express our worry as to how it is affecting you.”

“It is noted.” She retorted curtly.

Spock ignored the remark and ploughed on. “I have also examined all of the studies on Human-Vulcan hybrids in the Vulcan archives, and I observed similarities between the results documented and your current behaviour meaning that this is a common issue amongst beings as ourselves.” 

T’Val remained staunchly quiet, avoiding eye contact with either of them. Jim really had no idea what to do, or say, if he even was permitted to do that. Spock was doing oddly well as it was, and Jim didn’t want to throw a wrench into his flow. Instead, he tensely sat at the side-lines and waited as he listened to the discussion unfold.

“During my upbringing I experienced ordeals similar to those described in the studies, though to a higher degree than you. I believe this was due to never engaging in the act of allowing myself to on occasion feel emotion.” Spock revealed, his voice softening.

Jim was rather impressed with how much Spock was disclosing, and even though T’Val was pressed away from them, he could see her eyes were locked on Spock. It was evident she appreciated the truth Spock admitted, showing that he had been in a similar situation as her. The confession was especially comforting coming from Spock since he was someone T’Val knew and trusted, not only as a caretaker, but as mixed race being just like her.

“It is true that I cannot possibly understand the extent and manner in which you bear these foreign feelings, though it does not prohibit me from experiencing my own when witnessing your distress.” There was a short pause, then, “It is therefore why I would find it preferable if you were to visit a medical doctor.”

T’Val’s whole body immediately tensed up and her eyes widening.

“T’Val, you know, Bones is doctor.” Jim chimed in in a soft voice, trying to diffuse her panic. “He’s a really good one too, and already has a degree in Human Medicine. You like Bones, don’t you?” 

T’Val looked to him with frightened eyes, and gave a tentative nod. 

“Well, he likes you too, and you know he would never hurt you. He’d just check that you’re doing okay and that your body is healthy, nothing more. You can do that, can’t you?” Jim made sure his tone remained gentle throughout, trying his best to ease her worrying.

T’Val curled up further into herself, but there was no change to her already concerned expression.

“Doctor McCoy cannot offer you much aid when it comes managing to your mental capabilities, but he is someone highly trusted by Jim.” Spock added.

“Yeah, he really is.” Jim agreed with a kind smile. “He always looks after me, and I’m really grateful for it. And I trust that if you do agree to this— because we won’t do anything unless you decide you’re okay with it— that you’ll be absolutely truthful with Bones.” 

Jim opted for not telling T’Val about Bones’ doctor friend— who he’d found out was called M’Benga— just yet. It might derail their current task at trying to get an acceptance out of her, and certainly spook her further. She stayed in her position, arms hugging her knees and gaze set on the floor. After a few moments of silence her eyes flickered up.

“Must I give my answer at this moment?”

“You are permitted time to ruminate.” Spock told her calmly.

“Then may I be excused from this conversation?”

Spock sounded tired when he answered, “You may.”

Jim listened out as T’Val slipped off from the couch and quietly padded away, her socked feet muffling her footfalls. He heard her bedroom door swing open, then a few seconds later shut with an audible ‘click’. The tension rushed out of his shoulders in one swift go, releasing the stress that had been building up in him during the whole conversation. His eyes slipped shut, and he carefully leaned back against his chair.

A strong silence engulfed the room, this one just as severe as when Jim had first entered the apartment. Neither he nor Spock uttered a word for ages, just sat unmoving as time trickled away.

After a few minutes Jim turned to Spock. “How’re your sessions with her going?”

Spock’s gaze was still locked on the empty couch where T’Val had sat, and he didn’t even deign to face Jim when replied in an even voice, “We still partake in them, though they remain stilted. The intensity of the new emotions T’Val is experiencing is at times too powerful for me to curb, though I do not wish for her to stop simply due to my inability to cope. If T’Val is capable of controlling such strong feelings, it will allow her a better grasp of her mental capabilities.”

Jim assumed that meant she would be able to keep her mind clear and ordered, kind of like how Spock had it in his own. It definitely would make sense that keeping it organised would be good for the mind, and Jim could to some degree see how that’d be very important to Vulcans. Hell, even he felt tired from how cluttered his mind was sometimes.

“I’m proud of you for trying.” He murmured, gaze still focused on Spock.

“Thank you.” The guy replied, sounding drained. “The parental bond has improved our relation somewhat, but we must continue nurturing it in order for it to grow into a full bond.”

So Spock had done it then. He and T’Val had finally established a parental bond. Jim felt a swell of pride at the statement, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to Spock’s cheek. He pulled back and saw Spock glancing at him with a calculating expression. After a short moment the guy held out two of his fingers in offering, and Jim’s heart stuttered at the action. The guy was too damn cute. He gently met the fingers with his own, lightly dragging them along the side. A faint spark ignited in Jim, a tingling sensation that travelled through his body, and a soft smile graced his lips. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of this. 

“I never did ask how your trip to Vulcan was like.” Jim murmured. He moved his hand to Spock’s back and began gently rubbing in small, circular motions.

“It was satisfactory.” Spock commented, his body easing slightly under Jim’s touch.

“Did T’Val get to visit her mom?”

“She did. I chose to remain in the waiting room of the mental institution as I did not wish to infringe on their time together. T’Val deserved to enjoy her mother’s company to the fullest.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Jim said.

“Kikyo is very important to T’Val.”

Jim hummed in response. “Yeah. Better than her dad, anyway.”

“That is inaccurate.” Spock argued, peering at Jim. “Sekon is the sole being whom she bears a natural parental bond with, and she has fond memories of him from her childhood on Vulcan.”

“Really now?” Jim asked doubtfully, lifting a brow.

“Indeed. You yourself are aware that she will on occasion partake in video transmission with him.” The words didn’t assure Jim even the slightest, and Spock added on, “Though no matter what I say, I believe your dislike of Sekon, which stems from the fact that he is prohibiting T’Val from boarding the _Enterprise_ with us, will remain fixed.”

Jim sighed, his hand falling from Spock’s back to rub at his face. “Yeah, probably. I just… I really don’t like that guy.”

Spock didn’t say anything in reply to that, but simply gazed at him with those dark eyes of his.

“What about your own parents?” Jim asked, wanting to change the subject.

“What of them?”

Jim’s lips quirked up in a smile. “How was it visiting them?”

“It was highly enjoyable.” Spock revealed, then faltered briefly. “My mother inquired extensively into your being.”

“You told her about me?” Jim asked, his face splitting into a grin.

“T’Val is entirely to blame.” Spock mumbled, averting his eyes.

Jim emitted a deep chuckle. “Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Little Miss Get Involved. So, what’d you tell her about me? I hope it was good.”

“It was factual. She did however insist on viewing holos of you.” Spock shared, his cheeks tinging green.

Jim’s eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t have holos of me, do you?”

Actually, now that he thought about it, neither of them had holos of each other. They really should get about fixing that. He’d love to have a holo of Spock on his communicator for when he missed the guy, giving him something to longingly gaze at like some lovesick teenager. Also, he’d like a holo of T’Val just because she was so damn precious. And he’d need one them together, and one with them along with Bones and Joanna, and also one with Uhura. Wow, Jim hadn’t realised his family circle had grown so much in the past few months. It filled him with some joy.

Spock’s cheeks darkened considerably. “I do not. However, there is a holo of you on your Starfleet profile.”

All of a sudden a sharp grin stretched across Jim’s face, his eyes gleaming. “Well?”

Spock quirked a brow.

“What’d your mom say about this face?” He made sure to gesture at his face, you know, just in case Spock forgot what it looked like.

Spock hesitated before revealing, “She commented that you were, and I quote, ‘such a handsome boy’.”

Jim snorted out a laugh, throwing his head back and letting it overcome him fully. Spock’s face flushed further at the reaction, the emerald shade reaching all the way to the tips of his ears, and that did nothing but redouble Jim’s snickers. He didn’t know why he found the comment so funny but he couldn’t stop the bouts of giggles tearing through him.

“Jim.” Spock exclaimed all of a sudden, locking eyes with him. “I might know of a solution to T’Val’s current predicament.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not replying to your messages earlier, I’m moving atm so haven’t really had time to get to answering them (I'll most likely answer them once I'm done dragging furniture all over the place). Also I might be late uploading the next chapter because we’ll be moving over the weekend too and it’ll depend entirely on how much work we get done.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this little chapter, and ahhhh, almost done!! :)
> 
> P.S. 'The Xenophobe's Guide' is a real series and really funny, it got my country exactly right while simultaneously taking the piss 10/10 read


	28. Chapter 28

Bones rapped his knuckles against the wooden doorframe, nodding in approval.

“I like it. It’s sturdy.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the point of a doorframe.” Jim told him dryly, typing out a message to Uhura telling her what apartment number they were in.

Bones scoffed. “Asshole.”

Jim just blew him an over-exaggerated kiss, sending off the finished text and pocketing his communicator.

He and Bones had set aside two days to go view the apartments they’d shown an interest in, arranging a time that would best fit both them and the landlords. On Thursday they’d gone and checked out three places, but they hadn’t really been sold on any of them. Two of them were just a tad too small for their liking, one of the kitchen’s being especially cramped with just two hobs on the stove as opposed to the usual four. The third one had been decent enough, and it had definitely been in the running for being their first choice, but that was before they found this apartment.

The place wasn’t perfect, but it was as close as they could get. It was within their price range, of course, and also the same distance from the academy as their current apartment. It was fully furnished, including extra sheets and bedspreads that the last tenant had left behind, and had double-glazed windows which was an absolute must for them. Also it had doors, something Bones was hugely excited about. Jim seriously wondered what the guy had been exposed to living in what was essentially an open bedroom. They still had to ask around and see how many people vouched for the hot water in the building, but if they got positive responses then this was definitely the apartment they wanted to settle in.

They really had to thank Uhura for all of this, though it was more accurately her grandmother who had done the legwork. Still, Jim didn’t know her grandmother, so he just asked Uhura to send on their thanks along with several hugs and kisses. He’d even convinced her to accept a meal that both he and Bones would be paying for, wanting to show their gratitude somehow. She really was someone who was staunchly against taking money, offers, or any kind of thanks she considered sketchy. Jim would have been miffed about her not accepting his cash, but he understood that she was the type of person who was just happy to have helped someone in need.

“Knock, knock!” A voice called from the entrance.

“We’re in the kitchen!” Jim answered. There was the audible sound of high heels clicking on the wooden floor, and a moment later Uhura came around the corner, looking as impeccable as always. They’d originally planned to meet later once she’d finished her lecture, but apparently it was let out early which meant she was free to eat with them now.

“Hey,” Uhura beamed, enveloping him in a hug. “How’re you doing?”

“Just great, just great. How’re you?” Jim asked, pulling back to look at her fully.

“Not too bad.” Uhura replied, letting her gaze wander around the apartment. “This place looks pretty dope.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty sold on this one.” Jim nodded, placing his hands on his hips. “We just need to ask about the hot water from the neighbours, just to see if it’s worth making an application of interest.”

“Well, it looks good from what I saw, which admittedly was just the corridor and living room.”

Jim chuckled. “Don’t worry, we’ll give you a tour of the place.” He suddenly remembered Bones was there, and felt a sheepish smile grace his lips. “I’m so sorry, I forgot to introduce you to Bones.”

Jim turned around, intending to get the niceties over and done with, when he noticed Bones’ cheeks were tinged a light pink. Sure, his ever present scowl was still there, but there was no doubt that the guy was blushing. Jim felt a stroke of wickedness whip through him. Well, well, well.

His smile turned sharp, and he motioned towards his friend. “Uhura, I’d like you to meet my _very_ handsome friend, Bones; and Bones, this is Uhura, the lovely lady who set us up on a date with this apartment.”

“Glad to hear it’s a match.” Uhura winked at him, then held out her hand towards Bones. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“A pleasure. And the name’s Leonard, actually.” Bones returned, giving her hand a firm shake before crossing his arms over his chest. Jim couldn’t stop the rush of giddiness that came over him at that. Bones never kept his body gestures restricted to himself, not unless he was trying to contain his anger or someone he wanted to impress was present. And damn, it sure looked like Uhura’s mere presence had invoked that need to awe. Well, the woman was pretty great. Jim couldn’t fault Bones for having excellent taste in women… besides Jocelyn, that was.

“Leonard, then.” Uhura amended with a quirk of the lips, and yep, Bones’ flush deepened.

“Bones is cooler though, you’ve got to admit.” Jim ****, causing Bones to roll his eyes and Uhura to huff out a laugh.

“It’s cool.” She granted, removing her coat. “It’s pretty quiet in here. Is it just you guys walking about?”

“Yeah, but the um, landlady had to take a call. She’s out in the hallway.” Bones explained.

“So that’s who that was.” Uhura hummed, neatly slinging her coat over her arm.

“Yeah, she’ll be back. Later, when done.” Bones got out awkwardly. Jim had to duck his head to hide the smile stretching across his face. Damn, he was having too much fun seeing his usually brash and confident friend stutter and blush. He kind of wanted to take out his comm and video the whole thing, but he wasn’t sure Bones wouldn’t just strangle him on the spot.

“Alright.” Uhura nodded, then looked to Jim with a broad smile. “So I believe I should offer congratulations.”

“Hm?” Jim tried to smother his smile, but he knew he was doing a pretty shoddy job of it.

“For being offered the captain’s position on the _Enterprise_.” She clarified.

“Oh! Right, thank you.” Jim grinned brightly. “It’s a real honour.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Uhura agreed. “I mean it’s the flagship.”

“Oh my God, I know! I still can’t believe it’s a thing that’s actually going to happen. I’m actually going to be _captaining_ the starship. It’s going to be fucking awesome.”

Uhura nodded along. “It’s real great, man. Though I have to ask, how will you be working that out with Spock? I mean fraternization between co-workers aboard starships is against Starfleet regulation.”

It was obvious she was worried about Spock and how he’d fare in such a case, though there was no need because Jim had already covered that hypothetical. “I actually asked about that, and apparently it only applies if the co-workers get together when they’re on the ship. But, since Spock and I are already dating it doesn’t apply to us.”

Pike had been very curious when he’d asked about that, and Jim had simply sidestepped the man’s inquiry, thinking he’d let Spock handle the task of revealing their relationship to the guy. He didn’t want to undergo a bombardment of endless questions, especially not from someone like Pike who had extensive experience in interrogation tactics. As if Jim would willingly surrender to that. Not fucking likely.

“That’s lucky.” Uhura smiled.

“Yeah, we managed to solve that problem pretty easily. It’s just the situation with T’Val that we’re not entirely sure what to do about.” Jim shared.

Spock had told him about his possible solution for the T’Val problem, but explained that he needed to talk to his mom before he could give a conclusive answer. Jim was willing to wait until the guy had sorted out what he had to first, but man, being kept in the dark sure was killing him. It was either wait patiently or join Spock when he discussed T’Val’s predicament with his mom, and Jim just wasn’t ready for that yet. In all honesty, he was kind of really fucking nervous about potentially meeting her in the future. Spock clearly loved her to bits, and T’Val had on occasion mentioned how she liked her too, so basically all he knew about the woman was that she was pretty nice.

But, Jim didn’t exactly have the greatest track record with parents. Fair enough, he’d only known Winona, but the anxiety that clung to him at the prospect of meeting Spock’s mom was pretty strong. Also, not to mention the fact that Spock’s dad was fucking _S’chn T’gai Sarek_ , and Jim was pretty damn sure he’d either faint on the spot or sweat profusely when meeting the man. Fuck, why did Spock have to come from such a wholesome family? Didn’t he understand it was a complete nightmare for Jim and his stressing habits?

Jim rubbed at his forehead, trying to calm himself. There was no point working himself into a state when the thing he was worried about wasn’t presently taking place. He needed to save his overactive fear for when he actually met Spock’s parents. Until then though, he needed to focus on what was currently going on in his life, like his studies, and T’Val. Jim did hope Spock would get back to him soon enough about what he and his mom had talked about, just so that they could begin planning on how they would approach T’Val with the suggestion.

Spock had said that she still seemed pretty reticent ever since their discussion, but wasn’t actively avoiding him either, which Jim saw as a positive. She’d thankfully also agreed to attend a medical appointment with Bones, but only after they promised her that it wouldn’t be invasive. Just the standard medical exam followed by a set of questions in regards to how she was feeling. Since Bones wasn’t allowed to look into her mind, it was up to her to try and articulate how she was feeling. It was a slow start, but it was better than nothing, and Jim hoped that she could see all the effort they were putting in to try and make her as comfortable as he could be whilst also trying to help her.

A sympathetic expression came over Uhura’s face. “Yeah… though I’m sure you’ll figure something out. From what I’ve heard you and Spock are both incredibly invested in her well-being, and I can’t imagine you guys just up and leaving her without making sure she’ll be fine in your absence.”

Jim shook his head frantically. “I would never be able to leave her without a safety net.”

“She’s lucky to have you two as her parents.” Bones added in kindly.

“She’s not our kid, Bones.” Jim defended absently, having gotten used to his friends’ remarks. He saw Bones and Uhura lock eyes, twin looks of incredulousness colouring their faces, but chose not to comment on it. “How did her first appointment go, by the way? I forgot to ask.”

“It went fine.” Bones replied.

“What is this?” Uhura interjected.

“Has Spock told you about T’Val having these emotional outbursts recently?” Jim asked her first, wanting to make sure she was up to date with the case.

“Yeah.”

Jim gave a nod and described the current situation. “Well, according to studies he read regarding Vulcan-Human hybrids it’s apparently common when young to behave that way, and we thought it’d be good for her to see a doctor. Bones isn’t actually qualified to work with Vulcans, but a doctor friend of his is, and so he’s going to work with T’Val with Bones being present since, you know, the little lady likes him a whole goddamn lot.” He looked to Bones and appraised him from top to bottom. “Kid’s got weird taste.”

“Hilarious.” Bones deadpanned.

“You could always argue you’re an acquired taste.” Uhura offered, a smile prickling at the corner of her lips.

Bones rolled his eyes, but there was a definite blush working its way further across his cheeks. “To be truthful with you, she was quite nervous at the start. However, I think because this time around I was the doctor she was more willing to talk about how she was feeling. And let me tell you, that was not an easy task. The kid’s damn tight-lipped about how she feels. Funny, considering how emotional she’s been lately.”

“It’s a part of Vulcan culture. They like to deny they have any emotions.” Uhura explained.

“Well I hope they realise it makes my job a lot harder.” Bones grumbled.

“What’d she say?” Jim wondered.

Bones touched his thumb to his nose. “Doctor-patient confidentiality, Jim.”

“Aw come on, Bones, don’t be like that.”

“You mean my job?” Bones threw him a disbelieving look.

Jim scoffed and rolled his eyes. Seriously, Bones could just tell him what T’Val was going through. Otherwise how else would he and Spock be able to do their bit and help her? That was, after all, the whole point behind these medical appointments with Bones and M’Benga.

Bones’ eyes turned sharp. “Listen Jim, I know you think you’ve got a right to know what T’Val has told me just because you care about her, but that’s absolutely not the case. Whatever she told me was between us two alone, and I’m not going to betray that trust.”

“But what if she tells you stuff she doesn’t tell us?” Jim pressed, worry leaking into his tone. It was very, very possible that she’d be hiding things from him and Spock, especially since she wasn’t used to openly talking about her emotions, or lately even admitting she had them when she very obviously displayed them.

“That’s her choice. If she didn’t tell you something, there’s probably a damn good reason for it.”

Jim’s lips turned down in a frown, his entire face and rigid body clearly illustrating his displeasure. “Well, did you at least figure out anything from what she said?”

“I looked through the studies Spock sent me on Vulcan-Human hybrids— by the way, thank him from me for translating them into Standard.” Bones told Jim, and at his nod continued. “I looked through them and compared them to what T’Val said. So far it’s pretty much the same as the trend projected in the studies, but I’m still thinking of having her do a few tests to see whether there’s a chance of her being an outlier or not. I also told T’Val I knew another doctor, a good friend of mine, called M’Benga who used to work on Vulcan, and that he could help her more than I could.”

Jim and Spock had told her the very same thing when they’d further talked about her seeing a medical professional, but it was good to have more people she trusted reaffirm that this M’Benga was reliable.

“Who is this guy?” Uhura asked, a frown marring her face.

Bones was still looking kind of flushed, but he held himself with more confidence now that they were on a subject he knew well. “He’s a visiting doctor at the academy— pretty regular, actually— who specialises in mental illnesses and problems common in telepathic races, such as Vulcans and Betazoids. He’s done some extensive work already, focussing on things like social phobia and anxiety in Vulcans, as well as depression in Betazoids. He actually wrote his dissertation on Vulcans’ fluctuating mental activity and how heavily that correlates to their motor skills as opposed to Humans, and even managed to get it printed in several Vulcan academic journals.”

Uhura’s delicate eyebrows rose high on her forehead. “That is impressive.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing.” Jim added, mind reeling at that huge chunk of information. Jim didn’t even know the guy personally nor work in his field of study, but he damn did he want to congratulate him on his work.

“He really is a brilliant mind.” Bones agreed, making that all three of them in awe of this magnificent doctor. “Anyway, so I told T’Val that M’Benga would be able to help out more than I could, but if she did agree to meet with him I would be present the entire time, and for every appointment. I think that’s what convinced her to agree to it. She’s a smart kid, and she does seem to understand that we’re really trying to help her and not just observe.”

“Yeah, she’s got a bad history with doctors.” Jim bit his lip. “Did she tell you?”

Bones nodded, looking grim. “Yeah.”

Uhura’s gaze darted between the two of them, noticing the sudden terse atmosphere. She carefully asked, “So what’re you going to do now?”.

“Well, I spoke to Spock about actually getting M’Benga involved, and he said he’d like a file on the man so that he can read up on him. I transferred M’Benga’s file to his PADD, and now I’m just waiting for the green light.” Bones said.

Jim hadn’t known that. It made sense considering Spock’s over-protective nature of T’Val, but he would’ve still wanted to hear this from the guy himself. He contemplated whether it was worth bringing this up with Spock, or if it’d be another useless fight. Jim could maybe just mention it briefly and explain that he understood the guy’s concerns, and if in the future he wanted to share his concerns then Jim was there for him. Yeah, that would probably be better. He’d also need to bring it up several times to really get it through Spock’s head that his offer was genuine and not just empty words.

“You sure he’ll give you the go ahead?” Jim asked.

Bones shot him a disbelieving look. “Jim, that guy cares more about T’Val than anyone else. Even more than you, and that’s saying something. There’s no way he wouldn’t turn down a civil offer for help, especially if T’Val has already agreed to it.”

Jim beamed at his friend. “Spock’s probably thinking you’ve got magic powers or something. He’s already seen how well you handle T’Val, and also how rapidly she’s taken to you. It’s actually really amazing considering you guys have met less than a handful of times.”

Bones shrugged nonchalantly, but it was obvious he was beyond pleased at the statement. “What can I say? Kids love me.”

“Because you’re a grumpy grumpypants teddy bear.” Jim cooed, causing Uhura to snort.

Bones made a face. “Really, Jim? ‘Grumpy grumpypants teddy bear’?

“Because you’re grumpy and also kids like to hug you, like a teddy bear.” He clarified with a bright smile.

Bones pinched the bridge of his nose. “I will never understand how your mind works.”

“Keep in mind this guy just got offered the captain position aboard a starship.” Uhura interjected, seemingly finding the fact far more entertaining than was appropriate.

“ _The_ newest flagship of Starfleet.” Jim added with an impish smile.

Bones looked heavenward. “Lord help us."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> H O L Y _SHIT_ YOU GUYS have you seen the art systemofthesoul drew of T’Val??? Because I’m literally speechless like holy fuck it’s… I can’t comprehend that this person took the time to actually sit down and DRAW something just because he loved T’Val so much like I’m considering just having him become T’Val’s next parent I know it’s only three chapters left and there’s no possible way to add it in but I’ll fucking tRY IT
> 
> (And like seriously guys, I’m an emotional rock, in my friend group I’m the one who hands out tissues to everyone else during Brokeback Mountain) but this art made me _feel things. **Fuck**_
> 
> You can check it out here: http://systemofthesoul.tumblr.com/post/156822685077/so-this-fic-is-my-favorite-at-the-moment-and-i-lov
> 
> I love it so much <3 And please, if you can, check out the rest of his art it’s pretty damn cool and I like his Star Trek comic/fanarts :D Good humour + envious of his drawing style
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I'd like to thank you all for wishing me good luck with the moving! You’re all so supportive, I love it ahaha <3 (it went well btw, just gotta rifle through the thousands of boxes we have now. Just swell.)


	29. Chapter 29

It was entirely possible that they’d found a solution regarding the issue with T’Val, but it depended entirely on the lady herself. Spock had revealed that he’d spoken with his mom, and explained to her in excruciating detail what the current situation with T’Val was and how he and Jim wanted to find a good and trustworthy home for her. She had patiently listened to everything he had to say, and when Spock eventually revealed that he thought she would be the best caretaker for T’Val while they were on the five-year mission, she’d instantly accepted taking T’Val in. Simple as that. No hesitating, no dilly-dallying, no ‘let me think about it’. Just a straightforward ‘I’d be happy to.’

Spock had suspected she wouldn’t deny their offer. Apparently his mom was the most warm-hearted being he knew, having unabashedly showered Spock with affection and unconditional love throughout his childhood and continuing to do so even now. He’d seemed slightly embarrassed when sharing that information, his cheeks turning a fetching shade of green, but Jim had absolutely adored hearing such admittances. Each time Spock revealed something about his childhood or himself, Jim felt like he was getting to know the guy that much better. Spock was pretty secretive when it came to showcasing anything remotely Human, but as of late he’d been opening a bit more, something Jim took extreme delight in.

So, Spock’s mom had volunteered to take T’Val into her home, but that had been the easy part. The difficult part, or well, the one they were unsure about, was whether or not T’Val herself would be open to the suggestion.

Spock had asked Jim to be present when he brought up the topic with T’Val, citing that he needed moral support in case he found himself floundering. Jim had immediately accepted. Of course he had, he and Spock were a team in this, and they had to tackle the issue together. Sure they’d gotten off to a rough start with the intrusive mind meld and the fallout following that, but they’d worked closely with each other since, and were just now getting into the groove of things. They’d handle this problem together, not only because they both felt responsible for T’Val’s well-being, but because there was no other way to go about it. It was either Jim and Spock undertaking the issue as a unit, or not at all, and that second alternative was not an option at all.

This time the discussion took place in Spock’s kitchen as opposed to out in the living room, the man himself along with T’Val sat at the table while Jim leaned against the counter. She looked just as small as she did last time they’d told her they needed to talk, knees hiked up to her chest and pressed against the edge of the table. Her arms were wrapped around them and her fingers laced, eyes aimed down.

“Is this another conversation in regards to your inevitable departure?” She mumbled.

“Partly. This conference concerns primarily you.” Spock shared.

T’Val’s gaze flickered up. “How so?”

Spock glanced over at Jim for a shot of confidence, and at Jim’s encouraging nod turned back to T’Val to carefully ask, “If you were able to decide where you would reside, would you prefer to remain on Earth, or would you settle with residing with a Human off planet?”

T’Val took a moment to think, a pensive look coming over her face. “I would prefer to remain on Earth.”

Jim thinned his lips. Fuck. This would make their proposition even trickier to sell.

Spock inclined his head, indicating that he’d acknowledged her wish. “I see. T’Val, I have conversed with my mother in relation to our current predicament. I explained to her that Jim and I were concerned as to your well-being once we are to depart aboard the _Enterprise_ , and she has willingly invited you into her home.”

Jim had been paying close attention to T’Val’s reaction throughout Spock’s explanation, but he couldn’t gauge anything solid from her. She didn’t show any negative tells, but she didn’t show any positive ones either, only continued to stare at Spock. Clearly she knew there was more to the discussion than what had been revealed, and from the way she was paying attention showed she was somewhat interested in what he had to say.

“As you know, my mother is Human, and has extensive experience in raising a Human-Vulcan child.” Spock paused, then went on in a quieter voice. “You have felt the affection I hold for my mother despite the lack of a parental bond.”

T’Val gave a small nod. “It is warm.”

“Indeed.” Spock agreed. “Not only would you be residing with my mother, who would undoubtedly love you openly and unconditionally, but also with my father. He is the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth, and as such he must make frequent visits to Earth. His entire family too would be required to accompany him on these visits, which would include yourself.”

“What would be the duration of the visits?” T’Val interjected suddenly. 

Jim’s gaze fell on Spock, who was entirely focused on T’Val. “The lengths would vary depending on the nature of the visit.”

T’Val looked contemplative, and Jim counted that as a small victory.

When she didn’t give a reply to Spock’s answer, the guy went on. “If you were to reside with my parents, it would also allow mine and Jim’s mind to be eased knowing you were under the care of beings we trusted. As you know I often partake in video transmissions with my mother, and I would of course extend this arrangement to include you.”

“We both would.” Jim added on, catching their attention. “We’ll make sure to always call together.”

Already he knew that wouldn’t be the case. They wouldn’t have time to freely call T’Val whenever they pleased, not with their no doubt heavy duties and hectic schedules as captain and first officer. However, if they could try it at the beginning, just until T’Val felt properly settled in with Spock’s parents, it would be good enough. After that they could take turns vidcalling her whenever they had time between what Jim presumed would be alternating shifts. He didn’t know the details yet.

The only problem with the scenario was that it would mean Jim would have to to chat with Spock’s mom at some point, something which didn’t sit particularly well with him. He was sure she was a perfectly lovely lady, and from what he’d heard about her they all corroborated that opinion, but it did nothing to quench the anxiety that swelled up in him. Jim had never actually met the parents of anyone he’d dated before, and he had no idea how Spock’s mom would take to her son dating someone like Jim. He personally didn’t think there was anything wrong with him, but that was a very subjective view. Spock’s opinion, too, didn’t count, since the guy was very much biased in favour of Jim. It was insane; he hadn’t even met the guy’s mom, and already he was planning regular vidcall sessions with her and T’Val.

Jim was on the verge of a freak out, and he was pretty sure he was going to barrel into one full on, but thankfully he was distracted from that when T’Val looked to Spock and said, “Before I make my decision, I wish to converse with your mother. In private.” She tacked on quickly.

“Of course.” Spock nodded, then turned to Jim. He tried not to let his facial expression show how excited he was at the prospect of T’Val wanting to speak to Spock’s mom, but it was damn difficult. The optimism in him was soaring unnaturally high, and he had to really struggle to tamper down on it until T’Val gave her final answer, whatever that was.

Spock stood from the table, and T’Val followed suit, trailing after him as he walked through the living room back to his room. Jim ambled after them, leaning against the threshold of Spock’s room as the guy set up his PADD for T’Val. The little lady herself had taken a seat in his desk chair, waiting for Spock to call his mom. After a few moments the familiar sound of the calling tone erupted through the room, and Jim felt apprehension come over him. This would be his first time hearing Spock’s mom’s voice.

The tone cut off, and was immediately replaced with a woman’s warm voice.

“Hi, sweetie.” She greeted, then after a second softly exclaimed, “Oh, and you too, T’Val. How’re my babies doing?”

Jim bit his lip, muffling the laugh that wanted to escape. He peered at Spock, and saw the guy was blushing green. 

“We are well, mother.” He answered, ignoring Jim’s amusement. “T’Val simply wished to speak to you in regards to her possible relocation to your household.”

“Oh, of course. Ask away.” She answered. Jim couldn’t infer much from her voice alone, but he had to admit that it was soothing. It wasn’t too expressive from what little he’d heart, but it made sense if she’d lived on Vulcan for several years.

T’Val deliberately looked to Spock, and the guy interpreted that as his cue to leave. He ushered Jim out into the living room first, then made sure to gently shut the door, separating the two of them from the conversation about to take place. Spock then turned to Jim who was already looking at him with a wide grin.

“Momma’s lil’ baby boy.” He cooed.

Spock shot him a glare, but it did nothing more than cause Jim to snort unattractively.

*

They weren’t certain how long T’Val would be vidcalling Spock’s mom— who Jim had been reminded was called ‘Amanda’— so they’d taken refuge in the kitchen. Spock had started keeping a jar of ground coffee beans in his apartment for when Jim visited, and offered to make him a cup while they waited. Jim had kindly declined, and so Spock went about making a single cup of tea for just himself. The smell wasn’t abrasive by any means, but Jim still scrunched up his nose at it. He remembered having tried two of the Vulcan teas Spock kept, and they’d tasted so bland Jim might as well have been drinking liquidated cardboard.

Spock claimed a seat opposite him, occasionally sipping from his steaming cup while they waited impatiently. Time trickled away as they sat, and Jim had taken up jiggling his leg, restlessness taking over the longer they had to wait. After a few minutes of silence they’d begun chatting, getting off to a soft start which had later devolved into a tense conversation regarding T’Val’s stay on Vulcan. It consisted mainly of Jim worrying about whether she would manage on the planet, and Spock trying to assuage his worries with little success.

“Are you sure she’s going to be alright on Vulcan? Both of you have said that being mixed race on that planet is tough, and I don’t want her enduring any bullying.” Jim asked, unease clear in his expression.

“There is no need to be concerned for T’Val’s wellbeing.” Spock assured him evenly. “During her stay on Earth she has grown immensely more comfortable in herself, both as a Human and as a Vulcan. If her peers on Vulcan are petty enough to deride her for it, there is not a doubt in my mind that T’Val will use her sharp tongue and debating skills to logically undermine them in return.”

“You mean she’ll verbally bitch slap them?”

“Not in such crude terms, but essentially yes.” He confirmed easily.

“I don’t know, Spock.” Jim said, shaking his head. “Kids can be damn cruel.”

“I am aware.” Spock answered solemnly. Jim stilled his leg-jiggling and held down a curse. Shit, how could he have forgotten that Spock had been bullied when he was younger? He’d been in the guy’s mind for fuck’s sake. 

“What about testing though?” Jim asked, deliberating trying to change the line of conversation. “Will she be undergoing any more of those?”

Spock took a second to think. “I am not certain, but I do recall that the testing tapers out. I myself get asked to partake in them every once in a while, but it is possible to decline the offer.” 

Jim sat up suddenly. “So T’Val can say no?”

“She always had the option, Jim.”

“Then why didn’t she?” Jim whined, slumping back against his seat. Spock observed that he was clearly frustrated with the topic of their current conversation.

“It is difficult to say ‘no’ when pressured by authority, especially amongst a race such as Vulcans who rely on logic and believe emotional decisions to be faulty.” Spock told him tonelessly.

Jim’s blue gaze flickered up to him, pity clear in the crease of his eyebrows. Spock didn’t think the man realised just how expressive he was with his body language, making it extremely easy to read how he was feeling. After a tense moment Jim’s eyes fell back down to the table.

“That’s fucked up.” He murmured.

Spock inclined his head. “Indeed.”

They fell into another lull. Several times Jim had thought he should start up a conversation again, only for the desire to die down again. He didn’t know what he could share that wasn’t related to T’Val or how nervous he felt about what would happen to her. If she could find a good, reliable place that she approved of before they left that would be the best, but even that was up in the air. The mere idea of abandoning her without someone to take proper care of her had Jim’s palms growing clammy, and he had to quickly wipe them down his jeans. 

This was too stressful. They’d only waited for twenty minutes so far and already the effects of his overthinking were taking a toll on him. He was pretty damn sure that if he had to endure another twenty minutes of strained waiting he’d grow a beard and age thirty years. It was just too much for him, and fucking Spock looked as goddamn cool as a cucumber. For one, single second, Jim hated his guts for being so calm. The next moment, however, guilt slammed into him for even thinking such a thought. It wasn’t Spock’s fault that Jim was stressing the fuck out, and he had to remind himself that even though the guy may look composed on the outside, he was most certainly losing his shit on the inside.

Jim had been inside the guy’s mind before, and he knew that he experienced things just like a Human and just as intensely. Paired with how much he loved T’Val and wanted her to have very the best life that she could, the guy must be sick with worry right now. It was awful, but the thought calmed Jim down somewhat. It was comforting knowing that he wasn’t the only one freaking out, even if it seemed like he was clearly announcing it for all to see while Spock was displaying the world’s most impressive patience.

They sat like that for ten minutes straight, Spock calmly sipping at his tea while Jim had started up his incessant leg jiggling once more. All of sudden the door to Spock’s room opened up. Both Spock and Jim startled, and in the next instant they were on their feet and striding over to T’Val who had emerged from the room. They stood over her in such a way that she was forced to tilt her head back in order to look at them properly.

Jim felt a wave of nausea come over him, his mouth suddenly dry and uncooperative. He braced himself for the worst outcome, his heart rate increasing drastically when Spock asked, “How did your conversation proceed?”

T’Val’s dark eyes travelled back and forth between the two of them.

“I will be accepting Amanda’s offer.”

*

It was three o’clock in the morning yet Jim could not seem to calm his ecstatic heart. It felt as if he’d been running a marathon for the past nine hours now, his body refusing to let go of the unruly energy rushing through his veins. It was insane. T’Val had accepted. She’s actually _accepted_ Amanda’s offer to move in. She’d accepted and now she had a home to go to once he and Spock left. They wouldn’t have to worry about her. They’d know where she was, who she was with, and they’d still get to keep in regular contact with her. They’d done it. It felt almost too good to be real. 

Once T’Val had told them her answer, Jim had been overcome with such joy that he couldn’t stop himself from picking the little lady up and hugging her close. She’d returned the embrace, her weak little arms nothing in comparison to Jim’s muscles, but she’d held on as tightly as she could. He’d felt how she’d wrapped around his torso as if never wanting to let go, and he’d felt his chest clench at the action. Jim had buried his face in her hair and curled his arms further around her. 

A quick glance at Spock showed just how relieved the guy was, the tells evident in his expression and sagged shoulders. Clearly he hadn’t known to what to expect either. Jim had returned to finishing off his hugging session with T’Val, gently depositing her down on the ground once they were done. He’d felt light as air, thinking that if he didn’t hold onto her sleeve or something he might just float away. T’Val had kept looking up at him, her dark eyes boring into his own, and Jim had suddenly beamed.

“I’m so glad.” He’d said in a scratchy voice.

T’Val’s lips had curled up at the corner at that, and Jim had thought he’d fucking cry.

They’d spent the rest of the evening together, all three of them. Spock had told T’Val they’d do whatever she wanted to do, and Jim felt giddy at the blasé manner he was allowing the girl to choose the day’s activities. T’Val took a moment to ponder, then announced that she wanted to revisit the topics of the first few Human lessons she had with Jim. He’d been surprised at that, but not unhappy, and so they went about doing just that.

They’d started off with a walk through the park, all three of them chatting amiably about Human behaviour and comparing it to Vulcans. It was really fucking easy, and Jim couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he was on top of the world. They’d spent a few hours outside, then headed home to get started on dinner. Jim wasn’t very gifted when it came to the kitchen, but he knew how to follow orders, which is what he did as T’Val and Spock took turns instructing him on what to do. In the end they’d managed to whip up some Pad Thai noodles, and Jim felt Bones’ absence like a phantom pain. The guy would’ve loved this.

Once they’d eaten they’d set the dirty dishes aside on the kitchen counter, and Jim had immediately gone to pull out the box of toys he’d left under T’Val’s bed from one of his earliest lessons. He was shocked to find that they’d all been muddled up, which could only mean that someone had been regularly taking them out. When he’d brought the box out into the living room T’Val had asked why he’d want to play with the toys, and when Jim had shrugged and said he’d put them back, she’d instantly stopped him in his tracks by mumbling something about letting him indulge in his activities. Jim had to smother the smirk that was fighting its way onto his face, and set down the box for T’Val to peer into. It was goddam hilarious how she denied finding the toys fascinating, but as soon as he tried to take them away she’d stutter out a weakly logical reason to keep them out. 

They’d spend the rest of the evening lazily playing with the toys, Jim keeping up the brunt of imaginary setting currently taking place and T’Val obediently following his storyline. It was fun to see how well she’d adapted to engaging in playtime, especially considering that when Jim had first introduced the concept she’d had no idea what it was. This was the kind of character development Jim was damn proud of. Even Spock hadn’t interrupted their playing even though Jim knew the guy thought this kind of behaviour was illogical and unbefitting of a Vulcan. He hadn’t joined either, but he did sit at the corner and watch, his attention solely focused on Jim and T’Val as they continued their nonsense.

Eventually though, they had to call it quits, since the time had come for T’Val to head off to bed. She’d claimed she needed her sleep for school tomorrow, and Jim had frowned, thinking how weird it was that she considered two o’clock in the morning to be an early bedtime. The question must have shown on his face, because Spock whipped out the familiar excuse that Vulcans required less sleep than Humans, and Jim barely managed to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.

Together the three of them stowed away the toys, Jim sliding the box back under T’Val’s bed as Spock put her to bed. It took her less than a minute to fall asleep, and it was so sudden that it actually startled a laugh out of Jim. Spock had thrown him an irritated look and steered him out of T’Val’s room, the two of them returning to the kitchen to start on the task of cleaning the dishes. They didn’t want to disturb the neighbours, most of who would probably have gone to sleep at a more reasonable hour, so they’d unanimously decided not to turn on the dish washer until morning. 

Jim had kept up a constant stream of talking throughout the clean-up, gushing about how happy he was now that they’d sorted out the issue with T’Val. They’d been so lucky too, having it end up benefitting everyone, and he absolutely needed Spock to thank his mom profusely on Jim’s behalf. It was true she offered to take T’Val into her home without any pressuring, but it was still really kind of her to do so. He and Spock had been stressing like crazy about what they’d do about her, and this was just such a weight off their shoulders. It was crazy, and Jim still could not believe their luck.

After a few minutes he noticed that he’d been blabbering on uninterrupted for a while now, and when he looked over at Spock he saw that the guy was already staring at him.

Jim lifted a brow. “What?”

“I was aware of your high involvement in T’Val’s life, but I did not know it affected you to such an extent.” Spock replied.

Jim let out a small laugh. “I know what you mean. I just love that girl to bits. You know, if someone had told me five months ago that this is where I’d be, I would have laughed in their goddamn face.”

“Nor could I have predicted how valuable you would come to be to me.” Spock told him in a tender tone.

“Thanks. I feel the same.” Jim’s smile softened, and his heart stuttered at the words. Still, he couldn’t help but ruin the mood a little. “But seriously, about that first time we met; why the hell would you meet T’Val at the tram station? There are loads of people there, it’s the worst spot for a meeting place.”

Spock looked as if he wanted to let out an exasperated sigh, but managed to reign it in the last second. “It is a highly populated location as well as central, and if ever something were to happen to T’Val there would be witnesses present who could interfere.”

“Like me.” Jim responded, waggling his eyebrows.

“Like you.” Spock agreed.

Jim leaned his weight back against the counter. “You know, I really didn’t like you at the start.”

Spock lifted an unimpressed brow at that, and Jim had to chuckle at the response. Alright, to be fair, he hadn’t exactly been subtle in his hiding his dislike for the guy.

“The feeling was mutual.” Spock said.

“You thought I was a paedophile, didn’t you?” Jim shot at him, and he knew he was right when the guy looked slightly ashamed. “Don’t deny it. You thought I was going to lure her in and then kidnap her.” 

It was weird how he could joke about that now, when at the start when they’d first met he’d been extremely offended that Spock had thought him to be a predator or something. And honestly, if Jim had made such a risky comment before Spock had gotten to know him better, he would’ve had every right to immediately be on guard and keep T’Val far, far away from him. He’s really glad he’d played things safe in the beginning, because honestly, T’Val and Spock were pretty much one of the best things to have ever happened to him.

“I was looking out for T’Val’s best interest.” Spock defended, cheeks stained green.

The corner of Jim’s lips tilted up into a smile, and he held his arms open. “I know you were.”

Spock’s eyes dropped to his open welcome, and after a moment he stepped into it. Jim let his hands curl down his back and rest on his waist, then slowly pulled Spock in to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He pulled back a bit and looked at the guy, his eyes softening.

“What do you think of me now?” He murmured.

“You are immensely fascinating, unpredictable, and full of surprises.” Spock replied softly, then looked considering. “However, I believe there is always room for improvement.”

Jim huffed out a laugh, then pressed their lips together once more. They spent some time like that, languidly kissing as Spock attempted to press closer into Jim. It felt nice. More than nice, actually. Jim tilted his head and licked against the seam of Spock’s lips, diving in as soon as the guy opened his mouth. Jim’s hands had begun to wander of their own accord, going round to Spock’s back and sliding down over his ass. It felt good in his grip, and Jim gave it a firm squeeze. Spock’s breath hitched, and Jim pressed closer, his tongue sliding against Spock’s.

Spock wrapped his arms around Jim’s neck, pushing forward to match the enthusiastic kissing with his own eagerness. He slowly rolled his hips against Jim’s, and felt sparks of delight when Jim emitted a low moan. Their kissing deepened, growing faster and more heated, until eventually Spock needed to pull back for air. He did so reluctantly, resting his forehead against Jim’s as he tried to compose himself.

“Jim.” Spock breathed.

“Mm?” Jim hummed, his thumbs rubbing circles into the flesh of his ass.

“I believe it is too late for you to use public transit for your home journey.”

Jim let out a deep chuckle, the sound reverberating through his chest. “I hear what you’re saying, Spock.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is when this fic lives up to its explicit rating ;)


	30. Chapter 30

The door shut with a gentle ‘click’, and Jim immediately took the opportunity to press Spock up against it. They continued to kiss languidly, Spock’s hands hungrily travelling over Jim’s back and shoulders. The sensation was immensely pleasurable, causing shivers to run through Jim. He deepened the kiss, sucking on Spock’s tongue and dragging a deep moan from the guy.

The sound had him halting briefly, and he reluctantly pulled away. Spock tried to chase his lips, but Jim leaned back with a small chuckle.

“Easy now.” He told Spock, running a hand down his arm. He cleared his throat and asked in a low voice, “Are the walls soundproof?”

“Affirmative.” Spock replied, his cheeks already staining green.

“Awesome.” Jim smirked to himself, then ducked down to join their lips once more. Spock met him half-way, his mouth already open and willing. They continued to push against one another, Jim’s hands creeping down to Spock’s waist and getting a solid grip on them before slowly rolling his hips. Spock pulled back enough to emit a small groan, and Jim repeated the motion, loving the way Spock threw his head back against the door with a sigh. It opened up his neck beautifully, and Jim wasted no time in diving down in and leaving firm kisses all over that pale column.

Spock’s hands came up to grip at Jim’s nape, his fingers digging into the fine hairs there. The hold was sturdy, but not painful, and definitely did nothing but spur on Jim’s ministrations. He felt Spock sigh beneath his touches, giving in to the sensation of lips travelling all over his neck and further up to his jawline, then further still to his ears. Jim’s mouth wrapped over an earlobe, and Spock’s breath hitched. Jim huffed out a laugh, pulling off the earlobe and dragging his nose over Spock’s ear until it reached the tip. He felt Spock begin to shiver in his hold, his shaking evident where Jim was plastered against his body.

“Good?” He hummed deeply.

“It is sensitive.” Spock breathed, and fuck, did he sound good. His voice was only just this side of raspy, and Jim made it his mission right then and there to wreck it completely. Spock flinched, then buried his face in the crook of Jim’s neck, his fingers moving down to dig into his shirt. Jim turned his head and pressed a few quick kisses to the side of Spock’s neck before gently extricating himself from the guy’s hold.

“Come on.” He urged, stepping back and carefully pulling Spock along. He followed after Jim to the bed, and obediently sat down on the edge when gently ushered into position. 

Spock then watched, riveted, as Jim lifted his shirt over his head and threw it to the side. His breathing increased as his eyes roved over the expanse of flesh now revealed to him, simply waiting to be touched, kissed, and marked. The hair covering Jim’s chest and abdomen were sparser than Spock’s own, but they were dark and a beautiful contrast to the golden strands on his head. Jim’s muscles were also more swollen with his movements highlighting just how much, and Spock was overcome by the urge to press kisses down his abdomen. Jim was truly a sight to be held.

He was suddenly pulled from his fantasies when Jim’s hands fell to his belt, and slowly began working it open. Spock acted before he’d even realised it, stopping Jim’s actions with a strong hold on both his wrists.

Jim simply looked at Spock with a raised brow.

“Allow me.” Spock explained in a rough voice, and he didn’t miss the way Jim’s eyes darkened considerably at that.

Jim’s hands dropped from his belt, and a slow smile worked its way onto his lips. “My pleasure.”

His gaze felt like a physical caress, heavy and hot, and just too much for Spock to handle. He attempted to put all his focus on the task at hand, trying to ignore the weight of those blue eyes following his every move. Spock reached up to the man’s belt and smoothly slid it out of the loop, then extracted it from the trousers before dropping it on the floor. He moved on to the man’s trousers with twitching fingers, unbuttoning the top and sliding down the zipper before shucking the garment off Jim’s legs. The man helped by wiggling his hips a little, and the act had Spock’s heart clench with soft affection. 

He looked up and saw Jim smiling down at him kindly, his eyes tender. The image eased Spock’s agitation a bit, and he reached up to pull down one of the last of Jim’s clothes: his underwear. Spock’s thumbs hooked into the hem of the article, then oh so gently he inched them down Jim’s thighs until finally they fell to the floor, displaying him in all his naked glory. 

Jim was… astounding. He looked absolutely beautiful, like a being pulled straight out of the old tales of demigods and royalty. Spock was convinced Jim was made of starlight, glowing like he belonged in the darkest of skies amongst his peers and lighting up the night with his inspired presence. A single touch to the man and Spock was certain he would combust from awe; that was how wondrous Jim felt to him. 

“You alright?” 

The question pulled Spock from his thoughts. He looked up to see Jim staring down at him with a look of concern.

Spock inclined his head. “I am well, Jim. I was simply in awe of your being.”

Jim huffed out a laugh and his cheeks reddened slightly. “You’re too good to me, Spock.”

He leaned down to give him a kiss. Then another. Then another, and another, until eventually they were distracted with locking lips with each other to continue. It was only when Jim pulled back and tugged at the hem of Spock’s shirt that they moved on. Spock hurriedly shed his jumper, and Jim took a step back when the guy stood up in order to remove his trousers. Following those Spock also rid himself of his socks and underwear, and Jim took the opportunity to slip off his own socks too. Once done he looked back at Spock, and felt arousal shoot through him at what he saw.

The guy was magnificent, purely gorgeous, and Jim could not tear his eyes away. His lean body was exactly what the tightness of his clothes had promised, all angles and hard lines, and the slimness of his limbs made him appear taller than he actually was. Jim couldn’t help but give in to the temptation of touch, reaching a hand out to reverently run down his hirsute chest. Spock’s hairs stood on end at the feeling, a shiver running through his very being and causing him to fidget briefly. Jim’s fingers continued their journey down his body, passing his abdomen, his lower belly, and following the trail of curls that lead down to his cock. Spock watched Jim’s expression closely, seeing how his eyes lit up with fascination and delight as the man took in every inch of his body.

“You’re so gorgeous.” Jim breathed. 

Spock felt his cheeks heat up, and he murmured. “As are you.”

Jim nodded absent-mindedly, his fingers slowly wrapping around Spock’s half-hard cock and giving it a firm pull. Spock emitted a low moan, and Jim repeated the action.

“Jim.” Spock groaned, shooting him a slightly peeved look.

“Sorry.” Jim huffed, not sounding particularly so. His fingers released Spock’s cock, but as they did so they brushed against his folds located beneath. Jim’s eyebrows creased, and he touched the folds again, his fingers dipping into the wetness.

“ _Jim_ ,” Spock whined, reaching forward to grip the man’s arms.

“What is that?” Jim asked, curiosity leaking into his tone.

“They are my folds.”

“Your what?”

“My folds.” Spock repeated, reaching down to extract Jim’s fingers from them. “They surround my shaft and act as protection when it is not retracted, but when aroused emit a substance that can act as lubricant. They are incredibly sensitive.” He added on with warning.

Jim’s eyes gleamed with mirth, and his lips twisted into a smirk. “Are they now?”

In the very next moment Jim had dropped down to his knees, his hands curling around Spock’s thighs and pulling them apart. Spock gasped softly, and without realising it allowed Jim to open his legs further to reveal his folds in full. 

“Ah,” Jim exclaimed softly. “I see what they’re like.” He reached up to touch them again, and Spock grabbed onto the man’s shoulders for balance. 

“Jim.” He panted. “Be gentle.”

“Sorry,” Jim responded, and this time he did sound contrite. Spock felt the fingers continue their ministrations, dragging through his folds and coating themselves in its substance. “You said it acts as lubricant?”

Spock emitted a low hum as his only reply, distracted by the feeling of his folds being touched. Unbeknownst to him his hips had begun to slowly roll forward to meet Jim’s digits, the caresses igniting amazing sensations within him.

“Does that mean I can use this to finger you open?” Jim asked in a whisper.

Spock’s fingers suddenly dug deeper into his shoulders, and Jim let out a wince. Instantly the hold eased up. 

“I apologise. I did not intend to hurt you.” Spock gasped.

“No harm done.” Jim assured him, because really, he’d received worse during gym workouts, and those were self-inflicted. He continued to lightly run his fingers through Spock’s folds, revelling in the way the guy trembled in response. “I’m guessing that was a yes, though?”

Jim’s gaze flickered up, and Spock’s heart jumped at the sight. Jim looked absolutely stunning like this, his bright blue eyes standing out in the darkness of the room, pulling him in like a moth to a flame. Spock swallowed and gave a single, curt nod. Jim’s eyes seemed to flare up with amusement, and in the next moment they returned down to Spock’s folds. 

Jim dragged his fingers down Spock’s perineum, past it, and even further still until they reached his entrance. The digits dipped in between the cheeks, and Jim easily ordered, “Spread yourself.” 

The words had a bolt of lust shoot through Spock, and he obeyed Jim’s instructions with shaky hands. He brought one back to his ass and carefully pulled one cheek back, putting his hole on display for Jim’s fingers to play with. He felt heat spread through him at being so open, and he was glad he’d kept one hand left on Jim’s shoulders, certain that his knees would soon give out from pleasure. He felt the fingers prod at his hole, then circle it several times before one of them pressed inside. Spock emitted a low moan at the intrusion, the feeling of the foreign digit moving in and out of his body humiliatingly satisfying.

He could feel impressions of Jim’s thoughts from where their skin was touching, could feel what the man thought of finally being allowed the chance to delve into his lover’s hot, tight body. Spock flinched, uttering another deep, drawn-out groan. Jim’s lust was still just simmering, but the intensity of it was something Spock himself had never experienced before. If this was Jim before his arousal had fanned into a flame, Spock couldn’t imagine what the man’s emotions would be like when he reached his maximum. A shiver ran through him at the thought, and Spock felt himself trembling with anticipation.

Jim continued to slowly drag his finger in and out of Spock, allowing the guy to get used to the intrusion before inserting a second digit. Spock’s sphincter clenched around them, and Jim had to stop for a moment to control his breathing, trying his damn best not to just fuck Spock in earnest with his fingers alone. When he’d finally reigned in enough of his willpower he continued his ministrations, loving the feel of Spock’s hole tightening around his fingers like it never wanted to let go.

All of a sudden Jim leaned forward and wrapped his sinful lips around Spock’s erect cock, and the man himself tensed in response. His grip on Jim’s shoulder tightened painfully, just this side of uncomfortable, but it did nothing to throw Jim off track. He licked along the underside of Spock’s dick, bobbing his head up and down while simultaneously continuing to finger him open. The sensation of Jim sucking Spock down distracted him from the digits in his hole, allowing Jim to begin scissoring his fingers in an effort to loosen Spock’s entrance. After a moment of meticulous stretching, Jim curled his fingers just so and brushed up against Spock’s prostate.

At that the guy’s hips stuttered, and his mouth fell open in a soft gasp. Jim felt pride swell in him, and he smiled around the mouthful of dick currently working its way further back his throat. He pressed against the prostate a few more times then carefully removed his fingers so as to not hurt Spock. The guy keened in response, and Jim had to pull off of the dick and press his forehead against Spock’s thigh, struggling to patch together his concentration so as to not let himself get too worked up. He had big plans to give Spock a good, thorough, memorable fuck, but he wouldn’t be able to do that if he came too goddamn early. 

After a moment Jim pulled back and his eyes fell back to Spock’s folds. He faintly ran his fingers through them again, increasing the pressure as he went on to properly soak three of his fingers this time around. Spock was gushing something insane, and Jim was utterly mesmerised by the sight.

“You’re so wet.” He breathed in awe, eyes transfixed on the folds.

“It is your doing.” Spock replied in a wonderfully scratched voice.

“I love it.” Jim murmured, then leaned forward to press a kiss to the spot where Spock’s hip and leg joined. His fingers slipped away from the folds and trailed back to Spock’s hole, this time all three of them wriggling inside that intense heat. Jim didn’t waste time working Spock up open even more, the guy’s muscles having relaxed enough that the fingers could easily move in and out. The squelching noise evoked something animalistic inside of Jim, and he had to struggle to keep himself from hurrying things up. He deliberately pressed against Spock’s prostate, desperate groans and moans dripping from the guy’s lips and spurring Jim on like the greatest incentive. After a few minutes Spock pushed Jim away, the fingers slipping out of his hole as the man was forced to sit back on his haunches.

“Jim, I am at my patience’s limit.” He panted, dropping his head. 

Jim blinked up at Spock, then a dangerous grin slid across his lips. “Are you now?”

The guy’s cheeks and chest were flushed dark green, the shade of his nipples even darker still. The sight had lust burning strong in Jim, and he licked his lips. He gently pushed at Spock’s thighs, and after just a short second the guy seemed to get the hint, because he gingerly sat himself on the edge of the bed. Jim got up from his sitting position and leaned over Spock, pressing further forward until the guy laid back down and splayed himself over the covers. He looked absolutely delectable, like a meal laid out to be enjoyed to the fullest. Jim draped himself over Spock, a solid weight pressing him into the mattress, and he felt the guy’s hands land around his waist. 

Jim leaned down and pressed their lips together, hands falling down to Spock’s thighs and carefully pushing them apart. The guy silently obeyed, letting his legs fall open and allowing Jim to nestle between them more firmly. It was insane how finally they were going to have sex. Jim was finally going to drive Spock crazy with lust, sink into him and fuck him, and later hold him close as they shared a bed for the night. He’d thought about this before in the privacy of his room, together with a bottle of lubricant and his trusted hand, but it had been absolutely nothing compared to the real deal. Spock was so much better than what his fantasies could ever provide. He was real, he was here, and he was writhing beneath him. Jim couldn’t believe that they’d spent two full months of dating before reaching this point in their relationship, but it had to be done what with T’Val’s situation needing their attention. 

Jim suddenly pulled off of Spock’s lips, completely unaware of the annoyed whine it tore from the guy’s throat.

“Holy shit.” He breathed. “I just realised I’ve been putting off having sex with you.”

“I hope you do not intend on suspending it further.” Spock panted, sounding pained.

Jim’s gaze darted across the guy’s face as he took in his appearance, from the green cheeks, to his darkened eyes, and even to the strong legs that had somehow wrapped themselves around his hips, slowly undulating against his own. God, Spock was so fucking gorgeous, and Jim was allowed to _have him_. 

Jim licked his lips and grinned. “Not if you ask nicely.”

Spock stilled beneath him and managed to throw him a barely passable look of incredulity. “You jest.”

Jim had been joking, but now his curiosity had been piqued by Spock’s response. “Don’t be so sure of that. I’d love to hear you beg for me.” He hummed.

Jim didn’t think it was possible at this point, but Spock blushed even darker, the flush spreading down his neck and chest. Jim’s cock twitched at the reaction.

“You seem to like that idea.” He observed, voice husky. “Let’s hear it then.”

A resolute silence fell over them following his statement. Spock seemed like he was adamant on remaining tight-lipped for the unforeseeable future, but Jim was having none of that, not when he could have Spock begging him. For what, he didn’t care, just as long as he could hear shaky pleas coming from the guy’s mouth. 

Jim lightly trailed his hand up Spock’s thigh and abdomen, his fingers delicately running up his chest and circling his gorgeous nipples. Spock emitted a soft sigh at the touch and thrust his hips up slightly. Jim held a nipple between his fingers, then pinched it gently before escalating up into firmer grips. Spock looked to find the ministrations highly enjoyable, his eyes slipping shut as his chest heaved at every one of Jim’s touches. After a moment Jim dropped his hand from the nipple, and Spock immediately chased the sensation, a thready whine drawn from his throat. Jim chuckled at the response and pressed a chaste kiss to the guy’s jawline, slowly littering a few more over his cheek.

Spock seemed to steel himself, then grit out in a quiet tone, “Please.”

“Hm?” Jim halted his kissing, eyes resolutely locked on Spock. “What was that?”

Again, he seemed to gather his strength, and bit out in a louder voice, “Please, touch me.”

A moment passed, then Jim’s face suddenly erupted into a wide grin. He finally gave in and pressed a hard kiss to Spock’s mouth before pulling back.

“Where do you keep condoms?” He asked, then suddenly froze. “You do have them, don’t you?”

Spock nodded once. “Nightstand.”

Jim deflated with relief and immediately reached over to the nightstand, opening the top drawer to find a pack of condoms. He took out the box and pulled out a single condom before tossing it back into the drawer and turning back to Spock. He carefully tore open the packet and gripped the tip, slowly rolling it over his erection. He could feel Spock’s hot gaze following his movements as he slipped the condom down to his balls, and fuck, if being watched didn’t turn him on something fierce. 

He wondered if Spock maybe was into voyeurism or something similar they could try and experiment with. Maybe videoing themselves having sex? That’d be hot. Jim suddenly pinched the flesh of his thigh and shoved the intrusive thoughts to the back of his head, scolding himself for getting ahead of himself. It was too early right now to think of such things. He needed to first finish what he was doing right now, and later they could talk about… other stuff.

When Jim was done with the condom he immediately sat back on his knees and pushed Spock’s thighs up, gripping onto them tightly. The hold reminded Spock that the being currently handling him was more powerful than he looked, his body betraying none of the hidden strength Spock was currently seeing in action. Jim brought one hand down to help line his cock up with Spock’s hole, watching as it twitched in anticipation. It was coloured fully green and extremely response to the slightest touch, the tip of Jim’s cock causing it flutter sharply. Jim let out a deep groan at the sight. It was so goddamn beautiful.

“I’ve got to eat you out at some point.” He muttered, promise clear in his tone.

Spock shuddered at the words, and Jim took the opportunity to slowly inch himself inside. The heat was fantastic, hugging all around him as he slid further inside. The hold was intense, but so, so good, and Jim couldn’t help himself from pressing in faster than he had intended. Spock didn’t seem to have a problem with that, at least Jim didn’t think so from the way he threw his head back with a silent gasp.

“Fuck, Spock,” Jim grit out, sweat having broken out over his forehead. “You’re taking me so beautifully, _God_ —”

Jim slid further inside until finally he bottomed out, then he abruptly stopped, intent on giving Spock a moment to adjust. Apparently that wasn’t necessary, because not even three seconds after Jim halted his movements Spock’s legs tightened around his waist and urged him to move. And well, who was Jim to deny Spock anything?

“You’re so goddamn eager.” He mumbled around a laugh, thrusting his hips forward. Spock groaned in reply, moving his lower body up to accept Jim’s incoming drives. The thrusts increased, growing faster and rougher as Spock continued to propel him deeper inside, emitting a sting of filthy moans with every brush against his prostate. It was driving Jim fucking insane, and already his movements were growing erratic. The lust that coursed through Jim was all consuming, spreading through to Spock who in return gripped on tighter to the man. His hold was painful now, but Jim had absolutely no intention of stopping, not even if a meteor hit him. He fully planned on pulling through on his promise of making this a memorable fuck for Spock, pushing into the deepest part of him that he could reach and tearing moans from his throat until his voice gave out. Perhaps it was a bit ambitious, but Jim always gave his all in everything he did.

He could feel Spock’s fingers wandering up to his back and digging in there, most definitely leaving a trail of bruises all the way up. Jim propelled his hips further into Spock, pushing out a mewl from the guy and feeling a flash of pride at having managed that. God, Spock was just so expressive in bed; so uninhibited, and open, and so fucking beautiful Jim still couldn’t believe he was with him right now, doing this of all things.

All of a sudden Spock’s fingers fell onto his meld points, and Jim instinctively jerked back.

“I,” He said intelligently, having come to a sudden stop. That elicited a high whine from Spock, and Jim’s hips stuttered forward once more before he forced himself to stay still.

Spock was staring up at him with dark eyes, almost completely black, looking positively wrecked and fucking delectable. Jim’s cock twitched inside of him, and Spock had to bite his lips to hold back the groan that wanted to claw its way out of his throat.

“I apologise.” He gasped out, looking contrite. 

“It’s fine.” Jim automatically replied, then shook his head. “Or, it’s not, actually. I don’t know. What were you trying to do?”

Spock’s eyes fell shut, and he took a moment to gather his frantic thoughts that had all been shot to hell before he replied. “Mind meld are an extremely important part of sexual intercourse for Vulcans.” He swallowed, attempting to calm himself long enough to get out a coherent explanation. “That does not mean that physical sensations are not immensely pleasurable, however the most important aspect is the mind meld.”

“Oh.” Jim breathed, nodding slowly. “That’s… that’s what that was?”

“If you are uncomfortable we can discard the notion.” Spock told him.

“No.” Jim denied immediately. “Let’s do it.”

Spock’s eyelids dropped until they were half-lidded. “Are you certain?”

Jim bit his lip, gaze trailing over Spock’s face. “I think you’re trying to seduce me, Spock.”

“I am certain it is not necessary for me to do so when you are currently seated within me.”

That had Jim barking out a laugh, and he shook his head fondly. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Spock hesitated for just a moment, then reached back up to carefully place his fingers over Jim’s meld points. There was no disagreement on Jim’s part, and so Spock took that as acceptance. He let his eyes fall shut, then proceeded to draw the both of them into a mind meld.

“Continue from where you were interrupted.” Spock instructed Jim, rolling his hips up.

Jim bit back a curse at the action, but it quickly transformed into a chuckle. He resumed his thrusting, driving back into Spock in a slow manner which rapidly delved into a more furious pace when he felt the muscles around his cock clench. The back of mind was sizzling, almost as if electricity were bounding through it, and it quickly spread to the rest of his mind. He felt the sensation increasing simultaneously as the physical one, the two of them seemingly bouncing the pleasure between each other. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings very much or could even focus entirely on one thing or the other. He couldn’t focus solely on Spock, he couldn’t focus solely on the rush coursing through his mind, and he certainly couldn’t focus solely on the climax building in him. He felt flashes of all of them, the sensations suddenly spiralling him towards his orgasm, and after several more seconds of an intense barrage of feelings, his mind went completely and utterly blank.

Jim felt as if he’d been knocked to the stars and back, his entire being shaking from the force of it. The moment dragged on, and on, and on, until finally he seemed to return to his body and physical being. He noticed he wasn’t panting any longer, nor was he as hot as he’d been mere moments before the mind meld. The sweat that was sliding down him was just starting to cool which probably meant that he’d been out of it for a couple of minutes. Man, mind melds during sex was fucking _amazing_.

“I must concur.”

Jim turned his head to the side and saw Spock lying next to him, a warm hand resting on his stomach and gaze already on him. The green in his face had receded considerably, and his eye colour had returned back to its usual dark brown. Jim found he already missed the image of Spock in the throes of passion. It was a good look on him.

“Huh?”

“Mind melds intensify orgasms.” Spock told him simply in a few words, probably still reeling from the sex.

“How’d you…” Jim began, then belatedly realised that they were touching. Man, that sex must’ve really fried his brains.

“I also found it to be immensely pleasurable.” Spock assured him with a hum. Jim got the impression that the guy was laughing at him, and so he lazily swatted at Spock’s chest.

“Asshole.” Jim felt as if he were floating on cloud nine, the feeling that always followed a bout of sex seemingly intensified and lingering longer than he was used to. Yeah, that mind meld thing was amazing. They definitely needed to do that more.

He wrapped his arm over Spock and pulled him close to his chest, his hands gently running over his back. The guy didn’t dispute the position, and so Jim found it perfectly justifiable to rest his chin on the top of his head. They lay like that for a few moments, simply enjoying the comedown and each other’s company.

Eventually though, Jim had to voice the question that had been on his mind since before they started this, even if the evidence had kind of already given him an answer. “So was that alright for you?”

“Extremely.” Spock replied lazily, seemingly very comfortable where he was nestled under Jim’s chin. “You need not worry about your prowess.”

“I wasn’t worrying.” Jim retorted petulantly. “I was just wondering.”

Spock hummed in reply, dismissing his answer, and Jim emitted a small huff. A beat of silence passed, after which Spock spoke. “I must admit, even if our mind meld had not been successful, I would have wished to continue our relationship.”

Jim froze up all of a sudden, feeling as if he’d been doused with ice cold water. Wait, what did that mean? Were they not compatible after all? Because from what Jim remembered it had been amazing, and hadn't they already successfully engaged in mind melds before this? Hesitantly, he pulled back to look Spock in the eyes, and asked in a small, nervous voice, “We’re incompatible?”

Spock’s gaze wandered over Jim’s face, taking in the worry etched around his eyes and forehead. His lips curved upwards slightly. “Far from it.”

Jim’s body sagged with relief, and he let out a sigh. Slowly he leaned down to place a chaste kiss to Spock’s forehead. “Awesome.”

“I had assumed you knew.”

“Always good to have it verbally reaffirmed.” Jim told him. Spock nodded slowly in response, then pressed his forehead back against Jim’s chest, burrowing into the warmth. His arms came up to wrap around the man, and a smile graced Jim’s lips as he returned the embrace, lazily rubbing circles into Spock’s back. His was probably clear in comparison to Jim’s, not a single trace of bruises covering the expanse of flesh. If there was anything Jim was definitely taking away from the sex, it was that Spock was crazy strong though, and even though Jim found himself loving it, he was certainly feeling the aftereffects of it now. Still, he’d love to see how much use they could get out of that strength. The idea alone was stirring up arousal in him again, and he had to shift slightly where he lay. Jim wondered if it was too presumptuous to already think of other ways they could have sex.

“It is not at all presumptuous.” Spock announced.

Jim grinned against his hair. “Stop reading my mind.”

“Stop thinking.” Spock retorted and pressed a small kiss to Jim’s collarbone, feeling the man’s laugh reverberate beneath his touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 1 a.m. here so technically that means it's Monday, so here you go guys! Finally you get to enjoy the ~~porn~~ consummation of Jim and Spock's relationship ;)


	31. Epilogue

It felt as if the past few weeks had been nothing but a constant stream of news, after news, after news just toppling into Jim’s lap. Most of it, thankfully, very good.

He’d finally received his results from the last semester after much incessant checking of his university e-mail, and as usual had received excellent marks. Jim didn’t know why he went through the biannual act of stressing out before receiving his grades, but it was something he’d developed during his high school years, and well, it was a bad habit he seemed unable to get rid of. He was especially proud to see that one of the lecturers from his _Cultural Ethics_ module, Professor Kurokawa, had sent him an e-mail detailing how impressed she was with his essay, and that it was subject he should definitely look into submitting for his dissertation. Jim had been giddy with excitement at having received the message, and had instantly filed away her suggestion for when the time came around. It was a huge weight off his shoulders, and he was damn relieved he’d have one less thing to worry about in the future.

That had been just the first in a string of good news, the second involving the apartment he and Bones had made an application of interest for. They’d gotten it. They’d fucking gone and been offered a lease. As soon as they’d received the news Bones had tackled him to the floor, and Jim had been so overcome with raucous laughter he’d been able to push his friend off of him for a full five minutes.

The landlady, a Miss Santiago, was very easily one of the best things about the place. Not only had she listened to Jim explain his situation about moving out after a year, but she’d graciously offered them a short-term lease which would automatically be nullified after twelve months, and even promised to harbour their storage boxes in the building’s basement if they needed it. She lived on the bottom floor, and had made sure to provide Jim and Bones with a set of numbers they should call if she was out of town and they needed something repaired in their apartment.

It turned out that Miss Santiago travelled out of the city almost every other weekend, which meant that someone needed to take care of her cats while she was gone. Jim had only realised she had pets by chance when Spock, Uhura and T’Val had come over to help them move in. All the adults had been carrying the boxes up to their apartment, but T’Val had come to a stop outside Miss Santiago’s window and stared directly at one the cats lounging in the sunlight. The landlady had taken notice of the little Vulcan girl, and invited her in to play with the animals, but only allowed T’Val inside after she received explicit permission from Spock.

Now whenever Miss Santiago was set to travel out of San Francisco for the weekend, she’d ring Jim’s door and ask whether or not he could feed them during her absence, adding on that he was more than free to bring ‘the little Vulcan lady’ over to play with them for a bit. Of course Jim had accepted, and he continued to do so every time Miss Santiago came buzzing on their door with the same proposal, the image of T’Val reverently stroking the kitties causing him more joy than was strictly acceptable. It helped that the cats in return seemed to love T’Val, scurrying to her every time they entered Miss Santiago’s apartment for feeding time. They’d wind around her legs and purr loudly, and T’Val, the little darling, would leant down to them and look as if she were petting the most precious thing in the world. Jim wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he was slightly jealous. Whether it was of T’Val or the cats, he wasn’t sure though.

They’d eventually successfully settled into their new apartment, though frankly the place was a mess of catastrophic proportions with opened boxes littering the floor space. Still, the apartment was all their own, just the two of them living there, and that made it the greatest place on Earth. Well, apart from Spock’s bed, that was. Now all they needed to do was unpack, graduate from Starfleet, and then Jim had to wait for Bones to hurry up and get his degree so that he could send in recommendations to Starfleet for appointing Bones CMO aboard the _Enterprise_. He had the whole thing planned out in his head, and even though Bones had scoffed when Jim had revealed it to him, he didn’t actually dispute the idea which Jim counted as a victory. Another step towards launching into space together with his best friend and boyfriend. It was going to be terrific.

Jim had also managed to find out some more information about a few other people who had been assigned to the _Enterprise_ , one of them being a man called Montgomery Scott. He was more commonly known on campus as Scotty, and had a reputation in the academy as being one crazy son of a bitch who fiddled too much with theoretical physics theories, one instance having resulted in the disappearance of Admiral Archer’s prized beagle. As far as Jim knew, the dog hadn’t be found yet. All he knew was that this guy was apparently going to be his chief engineer, and he wasn’t sure whether to be scared or excited at having such genius on his ship.

There was actually another cadet who he kind of knew of called Hikaru Sulu, and the guy happened to be in a year above Jim which meant he’d be graduating this coming summer. Jim thought he could try striking up a conversation or something with Hikaru already, and maybe try and get to know the guy since they were being stationed aboard the same starship. After all, it was never too early to try and get to know your crew. He’d heard from Uhura that Hikaru apparently loved botany, and was also dating some guy called Ben, so Jim thought he might start with one of those as an opening subject. Spock did like flowers an awful lot more than Jim did though, so maybe they could befriend Hikaru together, Spock going in with his love for plants while Jim asked about Ben. Hopefully the guy would go into a loving rant about either of those topics, and Jim could get a feel of what Hikaru was like as a person.

Now, T’Val. A lot of things had happened with, and including, the girl. Ever since it had been agreed by all parties involved that she’d be living with Amanda once Jim and Spock had been deployed onto the _Enterprise_ , Spock had contacted Setok to discuss the matter with him. Even though all of them were already on board with the decision to relocate T’Val, it was vital that they get Setok’s permission since he was T’Val’s dad and primary caregiver. Jim had been confused about that, but when Spock explained that all of T’Val’s expenses were paid for by Setok, it started to make more sense.

Spock and Setok spoke at length regarding the move, and eventually the guy had given his approval. He’d shared that since Kikyo had always spoken highly of Amanda whenever she came up in conversation, and T’Val had told him many stories about her, his worries would be assuaged knowing that his daughter was in capable hands. Having that issue ultimately settled, Spock, Amanda and Sekon had proceeded to sort out the datawork needed for T’Val to smoothly transition into Amanda’s care. They’d have to inform the Vulcan government of this decision, who would in turn inform the Board of Education so that no unnecessary problems would arise once T’Val got enrolled into a Vulcan school.

Now that they had about a year before he and Spock were to depart onto their mission, Jim had taken it upon himself to provide T’Val with as much quality time as possible. They were going to do some serious bonding, and Spock was to be included in all of it whether he liked it or not. Of course the guy wanted to be a part of the fun, but it also meant that he and Jim had to discuss everything they wanted to plan before executing it. Sometimes they agreed, sometimes they disagreed, and ultimately in the end the final decision lay with Spock as T’Val’s legal guardian.

So far Jim had managed to convince the guy that taking T’Val to NASM in Washington D.C. was a good idea because the trip would be educational, it had to do with aeronautics and space, and it would help ease T’Val’s worries about their five-year mission if she could see how safely built spacecrafts had become over time. Spock had also been curious about Jim’s suggestion that they visit the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, because as someone who had grown up on a desert planet he’d never been exposed to large bodies of water or the creatures that resided in them. He imagined T’Val would be just as interested, and Jim made a note in the back of the head to check out places on Earth that were vastly different from Vulcan. It seemed piquing the Vulcans’ curiosity was the best way to get them to accept a trip somewhere.

During one of their discussions Spock had revealed that T’Val’s birthday was coming up in mid-February, just a few days prior to their trip to Japan. Jim had mulled over what they could do for her before she headed off, and came up with an idea that Spock was more than receptive to: Cat Café. San Francisco had a cat café in its midst, and Jim knew this because he’d searched for places where you could freely pet animals after Spock had shot down his idea of getting T’Val a pet. He’d claimed that he didn’t have time to take care of one with his hectic schedule which was now split between the academy and working with Pike on the _Enterprise’s_ datawork, and T’Val was absolutely not qualified to care for one on her own.

No, Miss Santiago’s cats would have to provide her with the furry comfort she needed for now, and if in the future she did indeed want a pet, she would have to discuss it with Amanda. Spock assured Jim that his mother had experience taking care of domesticated animals since Spock used to have a pet sehlat when he was younger, and it was likely that that was the creature T’Val would adopt when on Vulcan. Jim had had no idea what the hell a sehlat was so he’d looked it up, promptly freaked out at this bear-monster thing, and only calmed down when Spock had shared memories of his childhood with I-Chaya via mind meld.

He, T’Val and Spock had already spent some time doing domestic stuff, such as going to flea markets, drawing together, and the two Vulcans teaching Jim how to create traditional Vulcan dishes. It was actually very interesting and involved Jim using a lot of ingredients he’d never used before. Sometimes though… alright, most of the time, the food was too bland for him, but Spock always had a salt and pepper shaker set out on the table just for Jim, a gesture which meant a lot to him.

Jim had actually taken to keeping his own personal promise of taking more holos with the three of them, snapping away with his communicator whenever they went to the park, or were just idly hanging about at either of their apartments. In a few of them Bones could be seen in the back, and as the holos increased he’d migrate to the front to be included with Spock, T’Val and Jim. During one instance where Spock and T’Val had stayed over at the same time as Joanna, and the girls had organised a small slumber party of their own, Jim had taken so many holos that he didn’t know which one he wanted as his communicator’s wallpaper. He’d eventually settled on one of Spock sat on the couch with T’Val nestled into his side, Bones on the opposite end with Jojo similarly buried against his side. It was damn cute, and Bones and Spock had both asked that he send them copies of the holo.

Actually Bones had been a huge help these past weeks. With his help T’Val had stuck through and regularly attended the medical appointments Spock and Jim had set up for her, but only after she agreed to it. Bones had been by her side at each and every one of them, making sure she was comfortable enough around M’Benga so that he could work with her on getting to grips with her emotional outbursts. Surprisingly T’Val had warmed up to the doctor almost immediately, stating that he was highly logical for a Human. ‘This man cannot be real’ Jim had muttered, unable to come to terms with the fact that M’Benga had won over T’Val’s trust so damn quickly. His bedside manner must be incredible, unlike another medical man Jim knew.

So far the appointments had been progressing well enough, if a bit slow. He hadn’t know what to expect from them, and Spock too hadn’t been entirely sure on what the outcome of them would be. He was just glad that T’Val wasn’t displaying animosity towards either of them. She had begun to express her emotions more openly, though not in the form of body language as Jim would have expected. No, it turned out that was learning how to properly curb her emotions for when she would be living on Vulcan. She’s cut down on reacting physically to things, and instead adapted to showcasing her emotions by talking about them. She’d said that actually speaking them aloud erased any miscommunication between anyone she was conversing with, and also helped her in achieving a better mental balance since she wouldn’t be keeping her emotions bottled up anymore.

Jim thought maybe he should take a page from her book. He still hadn’t told Spock about Tarsus IV, but he knew he would eventually. Just… not right now. He wasn’t ready for it. It was fortunate that Spock wasn’t the kind of guy who compelled Jim to speak about his terrors, and for that he was immensely grateful. The guy probably had some of his own personal demons he didn’t want to confront, and maybe someday he’d share them with Jim too. He was curious about Spock’s fear regarding doctors, but he’d wait for the guy to open up about it in his own time, if he chose to do so anyway.

Now Jim and T’Val still continued with their Human lessons, even though it was clear that she was pretty adept at deciphering Human behaviour now compared to when they’d first started. Jim felt like both a damn proud parent and teacher at the same time. His little girl was so smart, and he knew with the utmost certainty that she’d only get smarter from now on, be it academically or street-wise. Personally though, Jim had his money on academically, even if he would’ve loved to see a Vulcan hustling it with the best out on the streets.

Spock had also spoken with Amanda and asked her to assure T’Val that they’d vidcall with her if she had any doubts, deliberately adding that Jim would be included in every one of them. Jim had glared at Spock from where he was laid reading on his bed, making sure he was out of the camera’s sight since he was so not ready to face Spock’s mom yet. They’d decided that after T’Val and Spock had returned from Japan, they would wait until Easter break before travelling to Vulcan, Jim begrudgingly joining them this time around. The main reason he was even going with them was because he was to meet the parents; and not just Spock’s parents, but T’Val’s too. More specifically, her dad, Sekon.

Spock hadn’t been wrong when he’d said Jim intensely disliked the guy, and it wouldn’t lessen no matter how many good things he found about him. Spock had tried to convince him to see things from Sekon’s point of view, on how he would feel if his daughter couldn’t stay with him even though he cleared wanted her to, and had then been asked by her guardian that she be taken even further away from him. Jim had given it some thought, and even though he agreed that it was a shitty situation for Sekon to find himself in, he just couldn’t bring himself to think kindly about the guy. Nonetheless, Spock was adamant that they meet just so that Sekon could meet the third father T’Val had told him about. Now that had made Jim all sorts of proud.

Even though he was confident that he would continue to dislike T’Val’s dad, that was absolutely not the case with Spock’s parents. He wasn’t sure whether he’d dislike them, and he wasn’t sure whether he’d be confident around them. Honestly, every time he thought about meeting Amanda and Ambassador Sarek— the fucking _Ambassador, holy shit_ — that familiar feeling of sweaty palms came over him. It was a disastrous reaction, but he couldn’t help it. Seriously, he had no trump cards on his side. Beyond the fact that Amanda thought he apparently was ‘such a handsome boy’ and the few stories Spock had told him, Jim had nothing. He only hoped his boyfriend hadn’t thrown him under the bus by telling her dumb stories. He didn’t think Spock would’ve done that, but that guy did have a weird ability of trying to compliment someone and making it come off weird. At the start Jim had thought it odd, but now he just found the trait endearing. It was strange what love could do to a man.

It also hit Jim somewhere in the midst of moving into the new apartment that he and Spock will be gone for five years. Five full years. He’d heard it before, knew it as a number, but it was the first he’d thought about it as life events that would be passing him by. He’d be missing out on so many things with T’Val during those five years, and since she was still just a little girl growing, some pretty damn important milestones too. He’d miss out on her first day going into middle school, or whatever the Vulcan equivalent of that was. He might miss out on her developing her first crush on someone that wasn’t Bones. Hell, he’d even maybe miss her first period, and that alone had Jim concerned.

He’d immediately gone about researching when female-identifying Humans got their first periods— the ones that had them anyway— and found that the average international age was 12.8. Now, that could differ depending on species, but Jim only had access to the Human data since Vulcans kept anything relating to their reproductive system and puberty tightly locked away from outsiders. Still, he had a number, and by Jim’s calculations they’d be nearing the end of their five year mission if T’Val turned out to belong to the international average.

He’d immediately gone out and bought several packs of tampons and pads with dinosaurs printed on them, and later thrust them into Spock’s arms with a hurried explanation that he should please post them to his mother so she could keep them safe until T’Val’s first period rolled around. Spock had argued that his mother had years of experience when it came to menstruation and probably already had some hygiene products on hand. Jim had countered that it was very possible she’d already gone through menopause, meaning that no, she didn’t have periods anymore, and after a moment of thought Spock had conceded and accepted the hygiene products. He promised Jim he’d post them to his mom, and also made it perfectly clear that Jim _would_ split the cost of it all with Spock.

So in general, a lot had happened, and there was still a lot Jim needed to prepare for, but he’d worry about that in the coming months. For now he was just set on helping T’Val and Spock carry their bags down to the building’s entrance for when the hovercab arrived. Jim had offered them Bones to drive them to the shuttle station, but Spock had declined, stating that it’d be nonsensical for Bones to rent a hovercar just for a twenty minute drive. Jim had to admit the guy had a point. It was a shame he couldn’t go with them to Japan, but he was about to start his third and final year, and absolutely couldn’t miss anything since the modules would primarily be practical work. He’d actually found out that Spock had programmed one of the simulations he’d be taking on this year, the _Kobayashi Maru_ , and even though rumour had it that the test was unbeatable, Jim was convinced he’d change that.

He went to grab the final of the three bags when T’Val walked out of her room, her trusty backpack already strapped on and her hair done up in two pigtails. It looked different from when Jim had seen her earlier in the morning, her hair in its natural, curly state.

His face brightened up. “Hey, look at you kiddo! Doing your own hair like a pro.”

T’Val acknowledged the compliment with a nod. “It has taken some time, but I am satisfied with the final result.”

“It looks awesome, T’Val.” Jim assured her, lugging the bag over his shoulder. “Though that could just be you.”

Just then Spock strode through the apartment’s front door, and held out his keys to Jim. “I have informed the landlord that you will be in possession of my keys during the duration of our trip. Please do not lose them, or else I must pay a fee.”

“Sure thing.” Jim smiled, accepting the keys and pocketing them right away. “Hey, did you notice T’Val’s hair?”

Spock looked to her, and his eyebrows rose in surprise. “It is different.”

“I was able to style it all on my own.” T’Val announced, a smidgen of pride leaking into her tone.

“It is most complimentary to your appearance.” Spock told her, and Jim’s lips quirked up at that. The guy was getting slightly better at compliments, it just took a Human some time to figure it out.

“Thank you.”

“Do you wish to inform Nyota of your recent accomplishment?”

All of a sudden T’Val’s cheeks coloured, and Jim frowned.

“Woah, what’s going on here? Who’s Nyota?” He asked, looking between Spock and T’Val.

“Nyota Uhura.” Spock answered. “Jim, you have met her.”

“Oh, Uhura!” Jim exclaimed in realisation. So ‘Nyota’ was her first name… Huh. He’d just assumed it was Uhura. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to change it now, to be honest. He’d become so used to calling her by her, well, apparently surname, that he was hard pressed to stop. But she didn’t seem to mind, so it probably didn’t matter if he continued to call her Uhura.

“I will await your presence downstairs.” T’Val mumbled, and ambled past them out the door.

Jim looked after her, then turned to Spock. “What happened with her?”

“I believe T’Val has developed romantic affections for Nyota.” He revealed, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.

Jim barked out a laugh. “No way! Oh my God, that is hilarious! Oh, I’ve got to tell Bones. Man, he has some serious competition.” He didn’t know in which case, be it T’Val’s love or Uhura, but either way Bones was in some pickle. Jim pulled out his communicator and opened up a message to Bones, rapidly typing out this recent bit of news.

“What caused it?” He asked Spock absently.

“I am not certain myself. We were paying Nyota a visit prior to a social engagement she had arranged on Thursday, and when T’Val saw her appearance she reacted in very much the same way as not a moment ago. I must admit Nyota looked especially stunning that evening.”

Jim could only imagine. Poor T’Val. She didn’t stand a chance against Uhura’s very being.

“At least it’s someone we know is amazing.” Jim offered, pocketing his communicator. “You uh, ready to leave then?”

Spock gave a curt nod in reply. He and Jim made their way out of the apartment, Jim heading to hold the elevator while Spock finished locking up the door. The ride down was short, and as soon as they stepped outside T’Val informed them that the hovercab had already arrived and was waiting for them.

“Shit,” Jim mutterd, hurrying his steps. “I didn’t realise.”

“I did not receive a notification from them.” Spock said, a light frown marring his face.

“Happens sometimes. Maybe get another hovercab company next time around though.” Jim suggested.

“I believe I will.”

The driver was a Human who immediately offered to put the bags into the trunk, and Jim made sure to thank them for helping. Alright, so maybe this company wasn’t so bad. In ten seconds flat all the bags were loaded into the hovercab, and the driver had gone around to their seat while Spock and T’Val said their goodbyes to Jim. He gave Spock a chaste kiss on the forehead, and then an extra, deeper one on the mouth because honestly, how could he resist? It was adorable how the guy’s cheeks would still tinge green sometimes when they kissed out in public, and Jim wouldn’t deny that it was absolutely one of the reasons he loved kissing Spock when they were out.

“You guys have a safe trip now.” He told them.

“Thank you.” Spock said, surreptitiously pressing two of his fingers against Jim’s own. The touch sent a spark of affection through Jim, and his smile widened. “Please take care of yourself in our absence.”

“I’ll do my best.” He promised, then kneeled down to press a kiss to T’Val’s forehead. “You too, little lady. Have fun meeting your relatives.”

“Thank you, Jim.” T’Val returned. “I wish you the best of luck with the start of your final year.”

“Thanks, kid.” Jim grinned, then stood back up. He watched as T’Val and Spock stepped into the back of the hovercab, Spock obviously wanting to sit with the girl as opposed to up front with the driver. Jim hoped the driver understood that it wasn’t because of them that Spock had chosen to sit in the backseat, but because he wanted to be with T’Val.

Jim heaved a sigh. It was going to be a lonesome few days with them gone, but at least he had other things to keep him preoccupied with in the meantime. He really needed to give it his all this year and absolutely nail every test and simulation thrown his way. This meant he’d need to get back into the habit of regularly going to the Jim, making sure he was in peak form so that he could ace his performances. Besides, he was pretty sure Spock had a penchant for his muscles, so that was a good motivator right there to stick to his workout.

All of a sudden the window of the hovercab was rolled down, and Jim spotted T’Val and Spock looking out straight at him. He’d raised one eyebrow in question, but when they began to wave at him he understood. With a small laugh he waved back to them, watching as the hovercab’s engines hummed to life and began slowly pulling away from the curb.

“Make good choices!” Jim called after them. “And you be good now!”

T’Val’s hand turned from a wave into the _ta’al_ , and she replied, “Not if I can help it.”

Jim’s laughter still rang clear when they disappeared off into the distance.

*

Top drawing: grown up T'Val (in my mind she grew up to be a private investigator & looks a lot like Ruth Negga)

  
Bottom drawing: T'Val and Jojo in their early 20s (still close friends ayyyy)

*

 ***sobs uncontrollably*** they've done it again ([systemofthesoul](http://systemofthesoul.tumblr.com/), lads. fucking systemofthesoul)

**Private Investigator T'Val**

(been reliably informed it's not a Almost Human AU although it totally is)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's over now :')
> 
> You guys have been absolutely fabulous throughout this whole story, and just so greatly supportive I honestly can't thank you enough. Writing this, my first long fic, showed me how awesome everyone in the Star Trek fandom is and how fucking encouraging you all are. There were times where I didn't want to write because I didn't have the energy, but your excitement shone through your comments, and kudos, and subscriptions that it pushed me to keep up with my publishing schedule and write every chapter. I'm really grateful for all of you who've been with this fic since the beginning, and those of you who jumped in somewhere along the way. I hope you enjoyed it in all its entirety, and I apologise for putting you through some hard emotional trouble, but hope the ending left you feeling lighter and happier :)
> 
> Again, thank you so much for staying with it so long, you're all awesome!! <3 <3 <3


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